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BS: Rap for emperor

keberoxu 20 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM
JennieG 19 Apr 19 - 06:49 PM
keberoxu 19 Apr 19 - 11:31 AM
Severn 18 Apr 19 - 12:57 PM
keberoxu 18 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM
keberoxu 16 Apr 19 - 01:50 PM
JennieG 15 Apr 19 - 10:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Apr 19 - 08:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Apr 19 - 03:40 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 19 - 01:44 PM
Donuel 15 Apr 19 - 12:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Apr 19 - 10:59 AM
JennieG 15 Apr 19 - 05:51 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 19 - 10:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM
JennieG 14 Apr 19 - 06:39 PM
keberoxu 14 Apr 19 - 12:02 PM
keberoxu 18 Mar 19 - 06:07 PM
JennieG 17 Mar 19 - 01:42 AM
keberoxu 16 Mar 19 - 03:17 PM
JennieG 15 Mar 19 - 02:18 AM
Rapparee 14 Mar 19 - 09:59 PM
JennieG 14 Mar 19 - 09:06 PM
keberoxu 14 Mar 19 - 12:34 PM
keberoxu 13 Mar 19 - 05:23 PM
Donuel 13 Mar 19 - 02:10 PM
keberoxu 12 Mar 19 - 07:18 PM
JennieG 01 Feb 19 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 19 - 09:51 PM
keberoxu 01 Feb 19 - 05:51 PM
keberoxu 31 Jan 19 - 06:06 PM
Donuel 23 Jan 19 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 19 - 01:34 PM
keberoxu 23 Jan 19 - 11:12 AM
JennieG 22 Jan 19 - 11:14 PM
GUEST 22 Jan 19 - 09:46 PM
keberoxu 07 Jan 19 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 19 - 09:37 PM
Rapparee 06 Jan 19 - 08:24 PM
keberoxu 06 Jan 19 - 02:01 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 18 - 01:46 PM
keberoxu 25 Dec 18 - 08:54 PM
keberoxu 24 Dec 18 - 11:12 AM
JennieG 22 Dec 18 - 02:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Dec 18 - 09:53 PM
JennieG 21 Dec 18 - 01:17 AM
Rapparee 20 Dec 18 - 08:58 PM
Donuel 19 Dec 18 - 04:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Dec 18 - 01:42 PM
keberoxu 19 Dec 18 - 01:34 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM

Robot cameras were added to the Imperial stress test procedures.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 06:49 PM

Good to know our Great Imperial One is being checked up on.

Severn, your sweet voice has been much missed in the Oubliette!


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 11:31 AM

As we speak,
the Emperor is keeping his appointment
for stress tests, following up on
his diagnosis of atypical chest pains.


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Subject: RE: BS: Roop for emperist
From: Severn
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 12:57 PM

No place ever is, for better or worse.....

I have been through some medical difficulties culminating in the installation of a pacemaker, but I am slowly getting back to what passes for normal these days. My face is still visible out there on local radio, if you stare hard enough.....

Meanwhile,



I've got arrhythmia.
I've still got music.
I've got no gal at present,
I can't expect much of anything more.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM

Our Most Gracious Emperor
went to hospital by ambulance,
reporting chest pains, this morning.

The hospital has released him for now,
but more tests are scheduled.
I recall his disclosure of infarct and rebellion in his Imperial Heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 01:50 PM

How is our Minister of De Fence, by the way,
and
the Imperial Game Warden?

And the place isn't the same without Severn ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 10:55 PM

Fresh batteries were installed before we came away, so there is a fresh batch of swill fermenting as we speak!


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 08:08 PM

Oh by the way.... His Rapturousness's statement that I should have clasped his gift of a mark to my bosom is not entirely logical. I am a male. I do not have a bosom. The closest thing I have to a bosom is a butt crack. I tried to clasp the mark to my butt crack, but it fell out. That's how I lost it.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Never confuse a mark with a snark <¡!>
(Especially if you're going to carry it around in your butt crack)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 03:40 PM

We hope the Imperial Torturer din't forget to put fresh batteries in the timers which control the Imperial Oubliette's automatic swill dispensers. Not that anyone would care if the inmates were to starve, but it would be a shame to have to throw out a batch of perfectly good uneaten swill.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
There's no mark like the old mark <¡!>


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 01:44 PM

Our gift of a mark of the pilcrow to the Imperial Ignoramus, granted 14 April 2019 at 10:04 post meridian (Mudcat Time) is withdrawn with prejudice. The II should have been more careful in bothering Us over something the II should have preserved and clasp to his bosom.

Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 12:48 PM

In the office of Imperial propoganda we are busy taking 4 words out of context and super imposing video of the most hideous kind to defame our defamors. Death threats against our enemies abound.

Progress report 4 14 19 :^/


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 10:59 AM

Thank you for the new mark, Your Raptness, but after a diligent search, I have found my old mark! It is this: <¡!> .

Now, it seems I have gone from being unmarked to being over-endowed with marks. It's really quite remarkable.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
His mark: <¡!> or ¶ (whichever floats your boat)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 05:51 AM

Sounds about right, Imperial Ignoramus!


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 10:04 PM

We here by give and decree that the Imperial Ignoramus shall henceforth be awarded and shall use as his mark and sign a pilcrow, which because he knows not what that is, is told that it looks like this:



And so We mote it be!

Emperor Rapparee, Imperius Rex       ®          His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM

"The inmates are running the Oubliette...."

Well, considering that they're all chained to walls, locked in stocks, or tied to beds of nails, there's not much "running" to it, is there? It's pretty unlikely that the Imperial Torturer will return from her folk festival to find that the inmates have painted the walls puce or rearranged the furniture in some configuration which she finds objectionable. N'est-ce pas?

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Mark! Mark! Where's my damned mark?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 06:39 PM

There is a special place in the Imperial Oubliette for those thinking treasonous thoughts.....

Your Imperial Torturer is currently at a folk festival, first volunteering for a few days then enjoying the music over the weekend. The inmates are running the Oubliette in the meantime.

Regards,
The Imperial Torturer unable to sign off correctly because a tablet doesn't have the same capabilites as a proper puter


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 12:02 PM

A treasonous question has crossed my mind:

Does Our Most Gracious Emperor
still have an empire to reign over
without his Naysayer?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Mar 19 - 06:07 PM

It seems that Our Most Gracious Emperor
had an appointment with his barber/chirurgiens
about something on his face.
That barbers don't normally encounter.

Whatever, he was eventually released without said something.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 17 Mar 19 - 01:42 AM

The Empiratical Banjo Ensemble will be hanging green streamers - only one streamer per banjo, we don't want to get too carried away - For St Patrick's Day. This is in addition to the black they are already using.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Mar 19 - 03:17 PM

well, maybe a dispensation for
St. Patrick's Day
when green could commingle with black?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Mar 19 - 02:18 AM

Already done, Sire. The Empiratical Banjo Ensemble is tuning up as we speak (although you would probably never know it) to play in tribute to Our Late Beloved Imperial Naysayer.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 19 - 09:59 PM

In memory of the passing of the Imperial Naysayer, We herewith declare a period of thirty Earth days, or seven hundred and twenty rising and settings of the Sun, of mourning, to commence immediately.

During this time there will be no needless mirth, no needless frivolity, no needless music or song or both. During this period all of our subjects will wear black armbands, personal linens, hatbands, and weep into black handkerchiefs. The prisoners in the Imperial Oubliette will eat nothing but black food and drink naught but black water during this time.

Ritual mourning suicide is expressly forbidden under pain of death, as is ritual scarification and self-injury. Weeping and gnashing of teeth shall be kept to a minimum.

The late Imperial Naysayer would have wanted it that way.

We further declare that from this time forward this date shall be known throughout Our Realm as "Imperial Naysayer Day."


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®         His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Mar 19 - 09:06 PM

The Imperial Naysayer will be naysaying no more.

Amos has left us.

Feeling great sadness in the Imperial Oubliette today.....even though the Imperial Naysayer never visited the Oubliette in person we felt we knew him. He will be much missed.

The Imperial Torturer (too sad to sign out properly)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Mar 19 - 12:34 PM

Hoy!
Imperial Warden Gnu!

What news about the Imperial Naysayer Amos?

anyone else been in touch,
like the Minister of De Fence maybe?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 05:23 PM

An update has been delivered about the Imperial Naysayer.
He has in fact obeyed the imperial direction,
and has taken up guitar and lifted his voice in song.

In fact, the Imperial Naysayer is in better repair
than his computer,
which is why this thread has had no naysayings of late.
(See thread on his convalescence, above the BS line.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 02:10 PM

our most gracious Imperious Rex is out of his straight jacket, gay jacket, quarantine and is out walking the streets. It does not appear to be measles.

Emporer Rex, in your absence there appears to be a usuper of the throne.
This infidel is using language like sideline,bench,banish,ignore and "do not respond to" rhetoric that seeks to establish himslf as the arbiteur of all speech in the kingdom and seeks the power to make all posts subject to his approval or punishment.
We are awaiting your judgement as to the degree of threat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Mar 19 - 07:18 PM

Is our most gracious Imperious Rex out of --
whatever it was -- quarantine yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 01 Feb 19 - 10:27 PM

The inhabitants of said Imperial Oubliette thank you from the bottom of their hearts, Sire......or perhaps that should be from the heart of their bottoms.

Either way, they will be most grateful!

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 19 - 09:51 PM

My people! We are quite distressed to inform you that We have been suffering in humble silence from an immune response involving Our ICAM-1 receptors and Our CDHR3 receptor. We have been visited by Our healer who has assured Us that he and We are doing all We and he can, but only Our symptoms can be treated. Because of this, We must cancel all of Our appearances and visitations and, for the good of you, Our subjects, remain in camera until Our symptoms disappear and We are again determined to be noninfectious. We would not wish to be faulted for instigating a plague amongst you!

However, We have carefully sequestered all of Our various tissues and soiled linens and will, at the proper time, see that they are distributed to those in the Imperial Oubliette.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex             ®         His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Feb 19 - 05:51 PM

did anybody else spot sun dogs?
(I missed 'em --
there were pictures on the internet)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jan 19 - 06:06 PM

Regarding His Imperious Rapness's proclamation of 23 January,
I find it very much depends on which programs and browser etc
are installed on which public computer station
as to what sort of script or typeset turns up.
One time it looked like Gothic Fraktur.
Today, it looks nothing like. All the Fraktur is out.

In more recent new,
The Imperial Naysayer by report is to be sent home from
the rehab center at the hospital,
and to be attended by a veritable entourage of custodial caretakers
in his domicile.

Should be, at the least, interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 02:19 PM

but i'm tiyurd all the time now. i'm thinking of selling all my canvas and paints and/or auctioning the instruments. then i can declutter all the way until the end. its a new era for beta or worse.

i went looking for inner g but only found sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 01:34 PM

We, the Emperor Rapparee, doth this day command you, the


Imperial Naysayer,


to get the hell out of thy bed and chop wood, play a guitar, sing (or croak) a song to gladden


the hearts of those in whose care thou art , or something else.


Do it, Dude! Do it NOW!





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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 11:12 AM

I myself have no access to the CaringBridge page at which
Mudcatter Amos posts updates about his convalescence.
Maybe we all will have to wait until
the Imperial Naysayer
has the energy to spare
to make an effort to [gain]say something himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 11:14 PM

Meanwhile down in the dungeon there have been, and will be, heatwaves of epic proportions. The Imperial Torturer and Spouse have cool(ish) quarters, but the inmates have been doing it tough when the temperature rises over the century.

Do them good, I say!

We are sending warm thoughts to the Imperial Naysayer.

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 09:46 PM

And the wrath of the Almighty was visited upon places
beyond North Carolina, where the Imperial Naysayer
is undergoing physiotherapy in hospital.

North Carolina, no stranger to ice storms and freezing rain,
watched these past few days
as places near and far on the continent
were smote ? smited ? smitten ?
with heavy snow, and with ice.

The Imperial Game Warden reports from the North that
the ice made the roads impassable
and that his garage door was frozen shut.

The Weather Terrorists, I mean the Weather Channel,
named the winter storm Harper.
(after Harper Lee, I wonder?)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jan 19 - 08:53 PM

Amos the Naysayer has been visited by mutual friends and they have faithfully reported
that he is improving, at least well enough to communicate better.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 09:37 PM

We are greatly saddened to learn of the passing of Our good friend, Dick Greenhaus. May he rest in peace.



Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®          His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 08:24 PM

Our Imperial Naysayer is quite ill and We and all Our subjects wish him nought but a speedy and complete recovery.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®         His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 02:01 PM

The realm is not what it was,
without the Imperial Naysayer
to issue verbal challenges to Imperious Rex.

I hope against hope that Amos recovers
enough to come back and fly his freak flag once again.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 18 - 01:46 PM

We are seated upon that seat which Nature gave Us.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex          ®       His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Dec 18 - 08:54 PM

It occurs to me to wonder:
when The Rapturous Imperious Rex decided upon
something new on which to be seated,
was this for his own private rooms
or was it
the ceremonial throne for official occasions?


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 11:12 AM

This brings to mind the Discworld Witches in Sir Terry Pratchett,
in particular,
the witch who enjoys her annual bath,
in the tin tub in her backyard,
while all the neighbors run for cover.
Then, settled into the bath,
she picks up her banjo
and starts to sing
"A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End..."


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 02:55 AM

That's the idea, BWL. The post is being kept open for the worst of the worst, because can you think of a more fitting punishment?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 09:53 PM

I'm not sure it's even within the power of the omnipotent Emperor Rapparee to come up with a tuner for the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble. It's impossible to tune one banjo, much less an entire ensemble's worth.

Bee-dubya-ell
Imperial Ignoramus
I have a mark around here somewhere...


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 01:17 AM

Thank you, Oh Great One!

I have also taken the executive decision to increase the dungeon rations very slightly so our resident miscreants can enjoy a little yuletide cheer.

A glass will be raised, together with the grateful thanks of all concerned, to the Emperor at 3 p.m. on The Day.

In the new year a search will begin for a tuner to the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble, something sadly and badly needed. Any applicants?

JennieG
Imperial Torturer, Dungeon Choir Wrangler and Overseer of Empiratical Banjo Ensemble
[§] Her mark
(For which I thank Our Most Gracious Emperor Rapparee)


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 08:58 PM

We thank Our people for their continued interest and care in Our recovery. We saw the chirurgeon today and was dismissed after a most intimate examination. We have been set free from the chains of medicine with an admonition to "Call if you have problems or questions."

And so We shall have a Merry Christmas, and We, in Our boundless generosity, have ordered that each of Our subject be supplied with meats for the winter festivities. Each shall receive a goose from Our Imperial Gooseyard, black puddings, white puddings, and plum puddings, with the finest beverages suitable for their rank. No beggar shall be without a groat, and no herdsman without a goat.

Prisoners are to be served an extra bowl of pottage eacch day and hosed down with warm water.

Let the Festivities begin, and do not stop until the Epiphany Feast next year!!!

We so decree!


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex            ®       His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 04:38 PM

While Joe's Tri Lateral Commission and Vatican Bank gig only meets 4 times a year it is far more time consuming than that, so to be fair his hands are full. Besides, both institutions have fallen on hard times which complicates things for Joe. When we get back to more hot wars things will go more smoothly for Joe. He didn't even get invited to the Prayer Breakfast this year.

Imperious Rex invested in Facebook and Russian stocks a bit too heavily against my protestation:
From: Donuel - PM
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 10:09 AM

30 years ago when Tech stocks dropped 500 points it was a crash.
Soon when the market drops 3,000 points it will be a minor correction.
Concentrated wealth (like in Bond movies) can steer market prices artificially and only indicate what Hedge fund owners want to do.
I see Facebook tanking with 50% losses. Rx Tillerson looks like he is striking out with Russia sanctions and oil exploration deals.

So imperious Rex will be licking his wounds for awhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 01:42 PM

The reason Rap has a 600+ post thread while Joe Offer doesn't is simple: Rap accepted the job. Every time someone nominates Joe Offer for an important position, he declines!

If memory serves, Joe has been nominated for Governor of California, Director of Department of Homeland Security, and President of the US. Has he accepted any of these nominations? No! Has he even taken the first step of commissioning a feasibility study? No! Well, what do you expect? If Joe had only accepted the nomination for Governor of California, he would surely have won. After all, his closest competitor was an Austrian bodybuilder who talks funny. After the inauguration, Joe would have had a thread several thousand posts long!

You want big threads with your name on 'em, Joe, you gotta go for the big job! Singing "Michael Row the Boat Ashore" around a campfire ain't gonna get it!



Bee-dubya Ell
Imperial Ignoramus
Rap gave me a mark, but I lost it


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Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 01:34 PM

And the latest update has Imperious Rex
going out to purchase
something new upon which to seat himself.


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