BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 10:24 PM

A group of Liberal Folkies, of whom some of which unfortunately had gotten jello liberally splashed upon them, ran toward the Jello pit screaming at the squid, "SAVE THE BEES!". The Squid, being a gentle soul at heart, gently hurled and re-routed the swarm of bees unhurt in the direction of the sweetly sticky protesters, who beat a hasty retreat to try to hide behind the Christmas tree, which looked like a safe enough place, with a few of those with multiple stings and faces already swelling up running into the dispensary and locking themselves in. Those who'd run for the tree proved too big a crowd to all use it as a Tannenbaum Shelter and threatened to topple it......

A plan was desperately needed to lure the swarm back safely into the apiary and the hives, but how?.....

And with the bees all buzzing in the area of the tree, who would be brave enough help keep the huge Douglas Fur erect?......

Subject: RE: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: GUEST, The Giant Squid
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 08:00 PM

A tentacle slices up from the jello pit, describing an arch across and clearing the bees from the gelatinous surface tension around the Giant Wombat's emerging nose.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 07:01 PM

They're running from a swarm of bees, actually, and check the spelling. These are 50 apes in choir robes who have been here before.....

Wait, the bees have found the Jello pit when the apes ran past it. Sweet and sticky is what they like. Hell, it's the next best thing to a soft ice cream stand at the beach or a soft drink dispenser at a catered picnic. I think they'll linger here for awhile.....

The wombat pops his head up to the surface, sees the bees and quickly submerges again......

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 06:38 PM

That's, "More THAN A Wombat,"   Bee Gee impersonator ...

Ah, the Harry Simeone Chorale.
Presumably singing Pat-A-Pat-A-PAN!

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 06:21 PM

Going from bladder to worse, the Terrier drank Perrier which left through his derriere when it lifted its leg next to DeFrosty, the retired snowman.

"Euwwww!" said the ladies on either side of him as they started backing away real fast. "Yellow Snow!", which wasn't helped by the fact that DeFrosty had been drinking beer, which was causing the same effect.

"I tried to get him to stick to vodka", said the alligator behind the bar to Mmario, who was cooking a rack of auroch ribs in the kitchen......

The Hairy Simian Chorale, the Yule Gibbons brought back to entertain again this year by popular demand, enter a door under a sign that says Apiary to change into their choir robes and come running right back out chased by a swarm of bees.....

Sandra In Sydney slaps the guy next to her who had just passed her a note, because she'd thought it said "Where's yer womb at?" and thought she was being harassed.
"Harass, my ass!" yelled the offended stranger. Realizing her mistake, she quickly apologizes and buys the stranger a drink. Sandra looks around the room and says, "Oh my God! Where IS my wombat?"

A booming voice from above said, "IT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY! I'M JUST HERE FOR MY SON"S BIRTHDAY PARTY......."

A loud splash and a big spray of green Jello gives her a hint......

Did it jump, or was it pushed.....or PULLED, for that matter?......

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 05:16 PM

If last year's terrier newbie makes a return visit,
what on EARTH
will he make of the wombat?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 04:26 PM

If a woman is an adult female human, is a wombat an adult female bat?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 03:24 PM

whispering deeply at the end of the bar ; "hey honey lets compare gall bladder scars..."
Loud girl: "You've got a lot of gall"
whispering ; don't got any
Loudly : That's sexual harassment.
whisper; that's surgical alignment.
Clanking loudly, loud girl walkers away...

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 02:19 PM

Just an aside; bless you nuts, I needed something like this today.

             f.p.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 12:47 PM

Bubbling, bubbling from under the jello....

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Richard Mellish
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 07:10 AM

The giant wombat noticed something moving below the surface of the jello pit.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mr Red
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 04:10 AM

A giant Wombat stepped into a bar, and went squelch.

It was a Mars Bar.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 03:53 AM

A Giant Wombat went into a pub, sat on the bar stool ordered a drink and paid for it.
As he sat silently drinking it, the barman, to make conversation, said, "We don't get many Giant Wombats in here".
"At your prices I'm not surprised", came the laconic reply
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 08:41 PM

Tell me, giant wombat, are you a four-string or a five-string - or, heaven help us, a guitar banjo with six strings?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 05:35 PM

giant wombat is a great fan of banjo music which is why it was looking for Severn

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 04:16 PM

"Yummy!" exclaimed the wombat, as it licked its paw which was by now splattered with jello. Then it looked up.

"Did you see that?" it asked.

"What?" asked the barman.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 02:38 PM

Giant Wombat (AKA Diprotodon)

---

Straight to the image ---tavern-crawling mudelf

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 02:02 PM

Over in a corner lime jello is flying from a jello pit, splattering on the wombat.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 12:35 PM

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walked into a bar and saw a giant wombat sitting on a bar stool
"Is this some sort of joke?"
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 11:10 AM

Huge?
Not if it's a

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 10:51 AM

And the wombat said, "Why do I have to be a giant wombat? Is a normal-size wombat wandering into a tavern such a commonplace occurrence that I need to be huge for the joke to work?"

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 09:26 AM

The Bee Gee impersonator at the bar replies:
"Looked like a wombat.
More like a wombat to me"

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 09:25 AM

"Was that a dog of some sort" asks the barman

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 09:24 AM

.... and asks, "has anybody seen an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman?
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 08:45 AM

S**t! Exclaims the Gnome. What did I just drink?

Subject: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 07:58 AM

looks around & wanders out again, following the trail Severn left