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DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!!
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 06 Sep 00 - 01:02 PM "http://doodie.com/" - Spaw! What have you been sniffin'? Your own farts? No, Spaw, there isn't a William Shatner Stupid Dialogue Generator, but here's a few strrrrange Trekkie sites fer ya: Poke William Shatner This interactive site allows you to poke William Shatner! This may be the closest you get to touching Captain Kirk, so give it a try. The Klingon Language Institute With the easy to use guides on this page you can learn how to say "unemployed loser with no friends" in Klingon. Star Trek TNG Plot Generator Just click a button and this site will generate a plot for a Star Trek episode. Some of these sound better than episodes we've actually seen. You Can't Do That on Star Trek Resistance is futile. You will laugh hysterically at these parody pictures from everyone's favorite science-fiction series. (That's what they say about the site, anyway.) Random Quote From Spock This site parodies one of those magic eight balls, but it is illogical to believe that the quote selection can be truly randomized. These were all found on 4WorstOfWeb -- a guide to the worst of the web from 4anything.com Have fun! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Sep 00 - 04:56 PM Omigod. What a treasure trove of silliness! I will be back up for air in...oh, maybe 9 hours from now...if I survive, that is... |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: SINSULL Date: 06 Sep 00 - 05:00 PM Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly. What happened to the other 200 posts? |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Sep 00 - 05:04 PM No dear....That was "Killing the Thread" which I notice is still popping up and is not dead yet. Spaw (thanks hespy.....those will recycle here later) |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Sep 00 - 05:08 PM Spaw - I had a quick look at Doodie.com You are a truly sick man. I like that. Maybe I can get you a job in my band when I go on the road. Dare I ask what instruments you play and where your musical talents lie? Okay, now I'm off to poke William Shatner...(see Hespy's posting above). |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Sep 00 - 06:13 PM Okay, I poked William Shatner. Not as big a thrill as I had hoped. He's a rather humorless bloke, far too full of himself, if you ask me. I got a call from Mike L. who passed on this joke: Question: HOW DO YOU GET A ONE-ARMED NEWFIE OUT OF A TREE? Answer: WAVE AT HIM. :-) |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:08 AM That Hawkster is one silly bird The threads that he starts are absurd! But why do we play With these threads anyway? Guess we all just want the last word. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:14 AM I think Major Tom's last words were, "Gawddam North American engineers." Well that, and possibly followed by........"gasp"............ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:15 AM "I'm not the Wreck of the Hesperus, I feel more like Big Bill Broonzy." --George Harrison |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Sep 00 - 12:39 PM My budgie's been left in the lurch Like a pastor without any church He just sits broken-hearted Since the last time Spaw farted Cos it stripped the paint clean off his perch! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Sep 00 - 01:33 PM Actually it was a favor to your bird as budgies are allergic to most paints and some are toxic to them. Were it not for that putrid poot, you would have had an "Ex-Bird." We almost had one last night when the cockatiel flew across the kitchen and landed in a pan of frying beef. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Jim the Bart Date: 07 Sep 00 - 02:26 PM There once was a feller on Mudcat, Who tried Katlaughing to love-pat. She sighed, "No, no, please, For I've started to sneeze, And I'm really Catspaw in a sun hat Sorry, got here late and once I started reading I was transfixed. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:50 PM Hey! Batholomew! Better late than never. Spaw - That's horrifying about the cockatiel. It's probably not so cocky now, though...could be a good maturing experience for the poor thing. A friend of mine had a budgie (seriously) which was flying around in their 16th floor apartment one night, and someone had left a window open. The unfortunate budgie flew out of said window at 11 PM into a blinding January snowstorm and was never seen again. One of the saddest stories I have heard. I hope the cockatiel is okay, they're very neat birds. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: thosp Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:58 PM |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Sep 00 - 11:59 PM Thanks Hawk....she's fine. We've let her wings grow and she's not real accurate on her landings. I agree that they are neat birds. She has completely taken over the household, holds the cats in complete disdain, and as I type this she is sitting on the keyboard activating all kinds of weird stuff that I have to keep erasing to go on. The bird is totally spoiled. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 08 Sep 00 - 04:19 AM There once was a bird from Orillia Whose song was reported to killya Till Spaw let one fly Then it fell from the sky Begging "Spaw, stop the farting please, willya?" |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Sep 00 - 01:22 PM LOL! Marvelous! I never thought to put Orillia in a limerick. This one will be enshrined forever in the hearts of local musicians here. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 08 Sep 00 - 07:32 PM Thanks, Little Hawk. If I ever come up your way, will the Mayor give me the key to the town, or the municipal port-a-potty, or something? |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Sep 00 - 08:15 PM Depends who the mayor is when you arrive. They change rather often here. City council is a very fractious outfit. They provide the locals with a lot of unintentional humour. Our recent mayor, Ken McCann just quit after a tumultous 3 years, marked by petty squabbles, veiled threats, outright threats, lawsuits, and a battle over the reciting of the Lord's Prayer at the beginning of City Council meetings. It has been dropped, to the rage and dismay of a good many people...it was deemed offensive to a certain few citizens. Of course, what is NOT offensive to various citizens? Nothing I can think of. On this basis, everything the City of Orillia Council does or ever has done could be deemed offensive...to someone...which would justify banning their future activities entirely, according to their own logic...ha! ha! Thus political correctness rolls on. I will be glad to pull the few strings I can reach in order to get you a key to the City or at least to the Port-a-Potty, should you venture this way. As for Spaw's cockatiel, a gold-plated cage is in order, I think. Cheers, George |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 09 Sep 00 - 06:27 PM *Yikes!* This thread is hanging by a pinkie! (Better save it!) |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 09 Sep 00 - 10:51 PM Did you know that a limerick is a sixteen-beat phrase? It's made of two four-beat phrases tied to two two-beat phrases, tied to a final four-beat phrase. Isn't it fascinating how those numbers continually show up in music and poetry? One would almost think it had some mysterious, esoteric significance... No luck writing another one so far. Maybe LH isn't a bad influence on me. (People don't really influence me unless I let them. Not anymore.) ~*sirepseh*~ |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 09 Sep 00 - 10:58 PM Hi hesperis. Your last limeric was very good. (The one about the Hawkster.)
limerics=good |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Banjer Date: 10 Sep 00 - 07:38 AM Ah the inspiration..... There once was a singer named Dottie Whose efforts in music were spotty When folks asked "What's best" To give Dottie a rest She was locked in the town's porta-potty |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: flattop Date: 10 Sep 00 - 08:40 AM Orillia's portable toilet company is McGill. To advertise, they fastened one of their toilets to the back of Rombo's restaurant with a gloved hand holding the edge of the door from the inside. The door blows in the breezes sneaking off Lake Couchiching. Orillians have good taste and good judgement. Tattoos by Chuck is another popular Orillia establishment. For years, the mental hospital was the largest employer. Recent governments emptied the mental hospitals just before they slashed the moneies they pay to needy people for food, clothing, shelter and drugs. If you're visiting Orillia, don't be surprised to see people waiting on the green lights and walking on the reds. Also, drivers who signal left are just as likely to turn right or continue straight ahead. The really weird people join the Orillia Folk Society. I must remember to join this fall. Most of the folk society's events are held at the Leacock property. Leacock was writer who became famous in Canada by writing about weird people in Orillia. Orillians didn't like him when he was alive but dead, he's a hoot. The government also errected a new headquarters for the provincial police in Orillia. They are now the largest employer. The government prefers to spend money policing people, not helping people. I think we have a few limericks left in us but I don't do limericks. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: flattop Date: 10 Sep 00 - 08:57 AM Yeah, I should have split that into more paragraphs. And since the police headquarters located here, franchised donut shops are the fastest growing sector. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Mbo Date: 10 Sep 00 - 11:44 AM The Voyager's Doctor, one day Decided to decorate Sick Bay But while painting a frieze He started to sneeze And blew paint in an interesting way. --Matt |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 10 Sep 00 - 01:56 PM flattop - "drivers who signal left are just as likely to turn right or continue straight ahead" - especially on the s-curve at Laclie street. Which is in front of Rhombos restaurant. A lot of mental cases eat there. (Funny, I've never seen you in there, flattop! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 10 Sep 00 - 02:49 PM ... I just called myself a mental case. Uh-oh.) |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: sophocleese Date: 10 Sep 00 - 04:28 PM Hey hesperis Rombos is a FAMILY restaurant. Where else would a pregnant waitress ask you questions about breast feeding while serving your food? I like the place. My daughter used to wave at the guy hanging out of the porta potty door when she was younger, she thought (when the wind was blowing) that he was waving to her. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 10 Sep 00 - 05:06 PM flattop, I think you have enlightened my as to why there are so many Mudcat members who live in Orillia. I actually thought I was making up the bit about the town port-a-potty. I had no idea you really had one. Does this count as a psychic phenomenon? |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Banjer Date: 10 Sep 00 - 07:18 PM There is a small place in Orillia Filled with much memorabillia It's not one of the best But it beats all the rest It's where you would go to unfill ya My apologies to Billie Ed Wheeler and his "Ode To The Little Brown Shack" The council of Orillia one day When admonished for wanting to pray Announced that they shouldn't But certainly they wouldn't Take their right to be wrong away It can only get better from here!!! Carol C...The phenomenon you mention makes you a Flattop, at one time I didn't do limericks either, but look at what degredation just a little practice can accomplish! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 10 Sep 00 - 09:11 PM Banjer, you have a true gift for degradation. ;-) (How do you do the crossing out the word thing?) |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Banjer Date: 10 Sep 00 - 11:28 PM I don't know how to put the formula on the thread and have it show up properly. You use <, the word strike and close that with >. You then type the word you would like to line out and then < forward slash, the word strike and close with >. Try it, it's fun. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Banjer Date: 10 Sep 00 - 11:31 PM Carol you may want to explore this thread about HTML Stuff. That is where I learned most of my things. Click here to go there |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:09 AM |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:14 AM Thanks Banjer! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:21 AM You can be an Honorary Resident of Orillia anytime you like, Carol, unexplained psychic phenomena or not. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:40 AM Wow. I'm back from the folk festival south of Rochester, New York, and I'm dog tired from 5 hours of driving through rainstorms (light, medium, heavy, and torrential). Fortunately the weather was good at the festival...it just turned rotten this evening on the way back. More on the festival tomorrow. Marymac90 was there too, and will no doubt post some details, and I took a bunch of digital photos which should soon be available on Mudcat. Why wow? Well, the festival was great, but what I am really excited about is the joyous survival of the DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD thread. Way to go, people! Orillia will soon become a legend of the folk music world for it's peculiarities and its mentally unstable populace. This will no doubt be of great benefit to the town, to Rombo's Restaurant, and to the Mariposa Folk Festival. Keep them limericks coming! See ya tomorrow. I've gotta get some sleep... |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:41 AM hesperis, I am so there! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: hesperis Date: 11 Sep 00 - 02:11 AM A Mudcatter named CarolC Was walking about in the leigh, When up in the sky, A cloud she did spy, "Why, it's a new lim'rick!" Said she. HA! I-did-it-I-did-it-I-did-it! HA! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Hedy West (current membership) Date: 11 Sep 00 - 03:23 AM Lots of flies here seduced by the flattery of defiance-faux. Hedy West |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 11 Sep 00 - 04:30 AM Hi Hedy, Do you know any good limericks? Carol |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:10 PM "Hedy West" sounds like one of those exotic dancer names inspired on that other thread where you take the first name of one of your pets and attach it to the name of the street on which you lived at the time... Like Minda South River. Or Valdy Digby. Our neighbours actually had a dog they called Digby, and they later moved (coincidentally) to Digby Drive...so that would be: Digby Digby. Cute, eh? Hedy, please define: "defiance-faux" Little Hawk |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:23 PM I dunno' Hawk.......Its one helluva' name for a true folksinger and folk scholar that she certainly is. She's one of those somewhat lesser knowns from the sixties, like Patrick Sky, that had a tremendous effect on some of us. Vanguard had some great folks on their label back then. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:03 PM Yeah, I know. My tongue was set firmly in my cheek that time. Vanguard was THE record company as far as I was concerned back then, and all my favourite singers were on it pretty well, including Joan, Buffy, and Ian & Sylvia. I never had a Hedy West recording, but I remember seeing her in the catalog on the album jacket. I will have to call up John Ashe and see if I can hear some of her material. I'm sure he's got it all. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: CarolC Date: 11 Sep 00 - 08:58 PM Hey Little Hawk- Maybe we should start a sequel thread for this one since it's getting so long. We could call it "Don't post limericks here" or something. What do you think? Great limerick, hesperis! Carol |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Mbo Date: 11 Sep 00 - 09:10 PM There once was a Great Highland piper Who's actions and breathe were quite hyper When inflating his bag His lips they did sag And held less than a used Huggies diaper. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: flattop Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:20 PM I'm not sure I'm enlightening or confusing you Carol. Very few Orillians are on mudcat but we can be as loud and loutish as any full symphony orchestra. Finding any toilet counts as psychic phenomenon on Tuesdays. Hessy, you weren't looking for me at Rombos until recently. You had your nose buried in chips and gravy. If I called you a mental case, what would you call me? What have you called me already, before I call you a mental case? So, that guy in the McGill is totally friendly. He waves at just about everyone on windy days. What do you do at folk festivals, Little Hawk, that makes you come home dog tired? Wasn't that dog celibate? Overdoses of degradation but no limerick yet, Banjer. Perhaps I should look for a more inspirational port-a-potty. Mbo, you're ok. Don't listen to all this crap people are feeding you on how to lead you life. Do what feels right for you. Do it when you feel like doing it. But we shouldn't get too self-righteous about pipers just because our drool drips neatly off our guitars. |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:43 PM Flattop, you don't want to know what she's been calling you.... As for "dog celibate", I'm not the one who keeps harassing the local canines. That's your shtick. Mbo - on NO account do what flattop is telling you! He can be dangerously skewed in his perception of reality. Oh, BTW, incredible limerick! Absolutely totally great!!! Now, people, this thread really is getting cumbersome...and it has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt which members of Mudcat have no self-control, no good taste, and no decent sense of moderation. I am happy to say that I am one of those people, although I think Spaw is the Champ. Watch for the sequel to this thread. It will be so bloody obvious that even flattop will figure it out! |
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Subject: RE: DON'T POST TO THIS THREAD!!! From: Mbo Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:47 PM Here come ol' flattop, he come groovin' up slowly....LH, the man knows what he's talking about. |
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