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Humorous Sex Songs
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Subject: Lyr Add: RUFUS AND BEVERLY (Mark Graham)^^ From: GUEST,Murray MacLeod Date: 24 Sep 00 - 12:30 PM One song guaranteed to get an audience laughing is "Rufus and Beverly", by Mark Graham.
Rufus could play the piano
Rufus and Bev became sweethearts
For this body you see here before you
So these lovers went back to their passions Murray (currently writing a bawdy song called "I Can't Reset My Cookie, no Matter How I Try ....." |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SIT ON MY FACE (Monty Python) From: Don Firth Date: 24 Sep 00 - 01:41 PM Speaking of Eric Idle: WWW.montypython.net will lead you to a song-lyrics link (including wavetable files that you can play). Some fairly worthy stuff, including
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you. Don't forget to floss-- Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: RWilhelm Date: 24 Sep 00 - 02:01 PM I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that if you enter @bawdy in the Digitrad Lyric Search you will get links to the lyrics of 252 bawdy songs.
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Elise Date: 24 Sep 00 - 11:54 PM Hows about NINE TIMES A NIGHT? Someone posted something recently with the chorus Ben Dover Greek Sailor, which fits the bill, I think. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: NO BALLS AT ALL (2)^^ From: Khbreit Date: 25 Sep 00 - 10:17 AM I once got accused of singing "church songs all night" at an event...so we began to collect "blushers"! I have seen a few of them mentioned here, but here's another couple. Please note: since I learned all of the songs I know from having heard them performed informally, I have no idea who wrote them or the copyright status! I'd be happy to e-mail you lyrics to ones you can't find. Ma, the Moose and Me (aka The Moose Song) [=I LIKE A MOOSE] Merrilyn Meg ROLL YOUR LEG OVER several versions of Blow The Man Down NO BALLS AT ALL Come gather 'round laddies and listen to me I'll tell you a tale that will fill you with glee Of a pretty young maiden so fair and so tall She married a man who had no balls at all CHORUS: No balls at all, no balls at all She married a man who had no balls at all! The night of her wedding she crept into bed Her cheeks were so rosy, her arse was so red She reached for his manhood, his manhood was small She reached for his balls, but he'd no balls at all CHORUS "Mother dear mother now what shall I do? I've married a man who's unable to screw. My troubles are many, my pleasures are small Fore I've married a man who has no balls at all!" CHORUS "Daughter dear daughter, now don't feel so bad; The same it was true when I married your dad. There's many a young lad who'll answer the call Of a wife of a man who has no balls at all." CHORUS The very wise daughter took mother's advice, And got herself laid by a man who seemed nice. And a queer lookin' bastard was born in the fall To the wife of a man who had no balls at all! CHORUS The father was happy, was high as a kite. The sight of the baby filled him with delight. 'Though its head was too big and its body too small, It had one thing in common... NO BALLS AT ALL! CHORUS |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: TonyK Date: 25 Sep 00 - 04:00 PM Khbreit, that was a good reminder. My grandfather used to sing that one after he had had a little too much gin. I found a good one last year, maybe in the database, a parody of 'ROLLING DOWN TO OLD MAUI' called 'COMING DOWN WITH OLD VD" |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Joerg Date: 25 Sep 00 - 09:06 PM Khbreit - what tune, for heaven's sake? Joerg |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Howard Eberly Date: 25 Sep 00 - 11:38 PM Has anyone mentioned, "(Have some) MADEIRA, M'DEAR"? The Limeliters has a great version on one of their albums.
"Have some Madeira my dear.
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Ely Date: 25 Sep 00 - 11:47 PM "Twiddly-Aye" (I don't know if it's trad or wrote, but it's got plenty of double-entendres) "Big Enough for Two" (Jay Ungar/Lyn Hardy) |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Amos Date: 25 Sep 00 - 11:57 PM The all-time classic for this class of song is the ancient THE BALL OF KERRIEMUIR (Kirriemuir?), which can be found in the DT and which I will not venture to quote, leaving you to embarrass yourselves! I am also partial to "KEEP ON TRUCKIN', MAMA", "A JOLLY YOUNG TINKER FROM LONDON TOWN", and "Wallowing in the Throes of Fornication" which describes the delirious delights of alleycats and hippopotami in the same song! Finally, a very ribald French ditty called "The Queen's Mouthfuls" discusses a really bawdy evening of activity between the King and Queen Victoria. But unlike the song I will leave the details to your perfervid imaginings! Regards, Amos |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Cavia_P Date: 26 Sep 00 - 12:32 PM A personal favourite of mine is "The Widow on the Moor" ["THE WIDOW'S PROMISE"] by (IIRC) Mick Ryan. Chorus Oh the wind blew cold and lonely All across that widow's moor and she never ever turned away A traveller from her door Most memorable performance was by Elly Ellis and Sarah Grey. It always seemed a popular song with the ladies. :o) (Allegedly) the inspiration for this song followed a careful study of the Hyte Report. Cavia_P |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: MMario Date: 26 Sep 00 - 12:42 PM I have to ask Bonnie ship the Diamond? Bawdy? |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Grab Date: 26 Sep 00 - 12:45 PM "The Old Morris Van" (by Brier, IIRC, to the tune of "The Black Velvet Band"). [see "THE BLACK BEDFORD VAN"] Grab. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Jim Krause Date: 26 Sep 00 - 02:29 PM How 'bout DIDDIE WAH DIDDIE as recorded by Blind Blake? Does that fit the bill?
There's a great big mystery and so forth. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Sep 00 - 03:13 PM ..and if the 11 minute version of HESITATION BLUES by Gary Davis isn't long enough you have my permission to extend it by one verse (a poor thing but mine own):
I'M not an insurance agent; I'm an insurance agent's son [true] RtS |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Petr Date: 26 Sep 00 - 08:45 PM I have seen a collection of Robert Burns bawdy songs with titles like "NINE INCH WILL PLEASE A LADY" etc. some of them were quite graphic. (this was a book that a friend had but I'm sure that the lyrics could be found on the web) ALso at Fiddle Tunes festival this year at Port Townsend two guests were the sons of one of the Stripling Brothers and one tune they did was...
My little girl, when we were married, Petr |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Mbo Date: 26 Sep 00 - 08:50 PM Too right Petr. I've had the complete Robert Burns collection (all 3 fat volumes) of from my library several times. It's very interesting to learn what all the um...well, 'anatomical' and 'action' phrases are in Scots dialect. One of them has a curse that I sometimes long to use.. "Up your ass wi' a dick o' brass." |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,jaze Date: 27 Sep 00 - 01:41 AM John Prine wrote a funny one called "My Own Best Friend" guess what that's about. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: rabbitrunning Date: 27 Sep 00 - 03:10 PM There's also JOHNNY BE FAIR which is fun. And a girl scout who was a little older than me taught me this one about 1970 in Colorado (although I don't remember all the words!): One by one, we're having some fun Up in the bedroom all day and part of the night. Two by two, he's looking at you Up in the bedroom etc.. Three by three, he's looking at me. Four by four, he's closing the door. There were more verses, up to ten I think, but I can't recall the rhymes! CD |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Bert Date: 27 Sep 00 - 04:19 PM SIZE DOESN'T MATTER |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Terry Allan Hall Date: 27 Sep 00 - 06:25 PM Michael Martin's "How Can I Get You Off of My Mind (When You're Sitting On My Face" is pretty funny... |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Khbreit Date: 30 Sep 00 - 10:32 AM GUEST,Joerg Dunno the "original tune", my husband just made one up that fit it! I'll try to get some kind of sound file made up of the tune we use (I don't read or write music...that's why I learn new songs from memorizing what I've heard!) |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Sep 00 - 08:44 PM What about unintentionally humorous songs about sex? I nominate Paul Anka's "Havin' My Baby" and "One Man Woman" ...both done duet-style with Odia Coates. Gaaack!!! Go, Paul, go!!! |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Joerg Date: 01 Oct 00 - 09:05 PM Khbreit - I think I can recommend you to take a look at the abc notation and use some freeware utility like abc2midi to turn it into some thing you can listen to. The only knowledge it requires is to identify the tone (i.e. its "name") from the key you hit (e.g. on a piano) or from the note you see on a piece of sheet music. This may be a little euphemistic as there are still other aspects of music, but still - IMHO that's the most advanced opportunity to communicate music to and from listening. Works in both directions, really. I am especially interested in the tune you are using because when I read those lyrics some special KIND of tune comes to my mind (with many variations possible but it would remain the same kind) and I wonder from what song (songs?) I know it, and I also wonder whether you are thinking of the same. Joerg |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: celticblues5 Date: 02 Oct 00 - 01:18 AM I am wondering, along with MM, what am I missing in Bonnie Ship the Diamond? The Dalliance records have already been mentioned - LOTS of good songs there. [I didn't know there was a third one! I'll have to look for it.] Plus, when you get these, you have a ready-made trivia question for your theatre-fanatic friends - What well-respected older actor once played on a record of bawdy songs? (Alan Arkin) Saffire introduces Silver Beaver by saying that, since bluesmen have a long tradition of singing about their snakes, roosters, etc., they thought it was time to introduce a FEMALE blues animal into the mix.....;-) You might see if you can find some of Julia Lee's old recordings too - she was a master (mistress?) of the risque - (eg - "My doorbell ain't been working/my hallway's full of dust/my vestibule is musty/my keyhole's full of rust/but tonight's the night...") And, of course, you must either start or end the evening with Tom Lehrer's "SMUT" ("I've never quibbled/if it was ribald,") |
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Subject: Lyr Add: BARRY AND FREDA / LET'S DO IT (V Wood)^^ From: Susanne (skw) Date: 03 Oct 00 - 04:26 PM This gem doesn't seem to be in the DT. As far as I'm concerned it is the ultimate humorous sex song! (THE BALLAD OF) BARRY AND FREDA (LET'S DO IT) (Victoria Wood) As recorded on "Victoria Wood Live" (1988) Freda and Barry sat one night The sky was clear, the stars were bright The wind was soft, the moon was up Freda drained her cocoa cup She licked her lips, she felt sublime She switched off Gardener's Question Time Barry cringed in fear and dread As Freda grabbed his tie and said Let's do it, let's do it, do it while the mood is right I'm feeling appealing, I've really got an appetite I'm on fire with desire I could handle half the tenors in the male voice choir Let's do it, let's do it tonight But he said I can't do it, I can't do it, I don't believe in too much sex This fashion for passion turns us into nervous wrecks No derision, my decision - I'd rather watch the Spinners on the television I can't do it, I can't do it tonight So she said Let's do it, let's do it, do it till our hearts go boom Go native, creative, living in the living room This folly, it's jolly Bend me over backwards on my hostess trolley Let's do it, let's do it tonight But he said I can't do it, I can't do it, my heavy-breathing days are gone I'm older, feel colder, it's other things that turn me on I'm imploring, I'm boring Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring I can't do it, I can't do it tonight So she said Let's do it, let's do it, have a crazy night of love I'll strip bare, I'll just wear stilettos and an oven glove Don't starve a girl of her palaver Dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava Let's do it, let's do it tonight But he said I can't do it, I can't do it, I know I'd only get it wrong Don't angle for me to dangle, my arms have never been that strong Stop pouting, stop shouting You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, share a night of wild romance Frenetic, poetic, this could be your last big chance To quote Milton, to eat Stilton To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton Let's do it, let's do it tonight I can't do it, I can't do it, I've got other little jobs on hand Don't grouse around the house, I've got a busy evening planned Stop nagging, I'm flagging You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it while I'm really in the mood Three cheers! It's years since I caught you even semi-nude Get drastic, gymnastic Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic Let's do it, let's do it tonight I can't do it, I can't do it, I must refuse to get undressed I feel silly it's too chilly, to go without my thermal vest Don't choose me, don't use me My mother sent a note that says you must excuse me I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, I really absolutely must I won't exempt you, want to tempt you, want to drive you mad with lust No caution, just contortions Smear an avocado on my lower portions Let's do it, let's do it tonight I can't do it, I can't do it, it's really not my cup of tea I'm harassed, embarrassed, I wish you hadn't picked on me No barter, non-starter I feel about as sensuous as Jimmy Carter I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to run amok Let's wiggle, let's jiggle, let's really make the rafters rock Be mighty, be flighty Come and melt the buttons on my flame-proof nightie Let's do it, let's do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to rant and rave Let's go, 'cause I know just how I want you to behave Not bleakly, not meekly, Beat me on the bottom with the Woman's Weekly Let's do it, let's do it tonight |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: MMario Date: 03 Oct 00 - 04:37 PM THE KNIGHT AND THE UNICORN |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: JennieG Date: 04 Oct 00 - 02:21 AM Susanne, I love "Let's Do It" - does it have a tune? Cheers JennieG |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Dave O'Toole - Gateshead Date: 04 Oct 00 - 11:38 AM One of my personal favourites is "BIG O" by Kristina Olsen. otooled@enterprise.net |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Susanne (skw) Date: 10 Oct 00 - 07:17 PM Jennie, yes it does. Do you live in the UK? If so, I'm sure you could get a recording by Victoria Wood. I only have a taped performance by Iain MacKintosh which is hilarious but not faultless. It would give you the tune, though. Contact me at skw@worldmusic.de if you're still interested. (Or send a PM, of course. I don't use them much, though, because I can't write them offline.) |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,John Hill Date: 11 Oct 00 - 08:56 AM Surely JennieG you already know the tune to "Let's do it" as it's a parody of the old standard of the same name. [LET'S DO IT (LET'S FALL IN LOVE)] Didn't Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers sing it? My vote goes to "THE WIDOW'S PROMISE" too as mentioned by Cavia P. Mick Ryan always introduces this song by saying he was reading an article in Cosmopolitan in bed one night on women's sexuality. The fact that they have more sexual stamina than men gave him the idea of this marathon between the devil and a widow who lived on the moor. She wins of course. The song is in the DT |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,Ebor.Fiddler Date: 03 Dec 10 - 06:48 PM And then there's all the trad tune titles .. ..... .. . .. . |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: tritoneman Date: 03 Dec 10 - 06:58 PM How about FIRELOCK STILE? Whenever I listen to my old recording of Peter Bellamy singing it I find myself laughing..... |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: alanabit Date: 12 Mar 11 - 04:06 AM The Ballad of Barry and Freda - Victoria Wood's parody of "Let's Do It" . |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: autoharpbob Date: 12 Mar 11 - 07:47 AM ISABEL MAKES LOVE UPON NATIONAL MONUMENTS - the late great Jake. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: alanabit Date: 12 Mar 11 - 07:52 AM Yes, that was brilliant. Jake Thackray. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Beer Date: 12 Mar 11 - 08:04 AM a few more by John Prine. LET'S TALK DIRTY IN HAWAIIAN and DEAR ABBY ad |
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Subject: Lyr Add: NOT PC (D. McFarlane) From: BusyBee Paul Date: 12 Mar 11 - 10:52 AM One from Mudcat's own Hipflask Andy: Not PC words and music - D.McFarlane Frustrated at work by the yet another network crash – and having just read through the 'bawdy' chapter in Kennedy's Folk Song Book, what else was I to do with the afternoon? I don't 'do' comedy, but since I included this in my set (as a spoof) it's gone down so well, I get told off when I don't include it. It's become my most requested song - now I find that VERY disturbing! Not PC: As I was once a-walking in me place of work one day I spied a pretty maiden she unto me did say 'If you've the time and trouble then I will have you stand And help me with me windows, sir for I could use a hand' She'd quite a case before her, a lovely monitor screen The contours of her keyboard were the finest I had seen I leaned to take a closer look, twas then our eyes did meet Says she 'Why don't you press control and follow with alt/delete' Well I'm no expert at this lark in fact I'm quite a dunce But I can spot an opening, need asking only once No sooner was I next to her she this to me did say "I hope you've got your caps lock on, press insert right away!" She bid me tap on enter oh, now guess then what I found She had me press on home and then page up and then page down I scanned her user area, I could hardly believe me eyes She searched right through me files and made me RAM increase in size! When I plugged in the modem I could tell she was a sport For she displayed both parallel and also serial port Says I, I love your bluescreen, yes now that will do the trick But just to be quite certain gave her mouse a double click As her new service provider I gave as much as she could take But I must shift on out of here, log off now, press escape 'For it is getting late' says I and 'I'm half afraid to ask But can I save this document? It's time to end the task' Well, the answer that she gave me – oh, it filled me with surprise 'I see you've now a floppy where you once had a hard drive! But don't erase your memory for me favour you did earn And I'll be waiting here for you, should ever you return' I'd opened up her folder, I'd surfed a little while She'd been desperate for a defrag, her connection I had dialled We'd scrolled around for hours but now a thought's filled me with fear I'll have to have a virus check when I get out of here! This is available on his "Acoustic Recs" CD but he has now installed an upgrade (Version 1.01) in his live sets! www.duncanmcfarlane.co.uk |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Joe_F Date: 12 Mar 11 - 08:51 PM I have mentioned this tape (The Bawdy Ladies' Book) on several other threads, but it surely belongs here. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON (Randy Newman) From: Jim Dixon Date: 14 Jan 17 - 11:47 AM YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON Words and music by Randy Newman, 1972. As recorded by Randy Newman on "Sail Away," 1972. Baby, take off your coat, Real slow. Baby, take off your shoes. Yeah, I'll take your shoes. Baby, take off your dress.[*] Yes, yes, yes. You can leave your hat on. You can leave your hat on. You can leave your hat on. Go on over there and turn on the light— No, all the lights. Come back here; stand on this chair. That's right. Raise your arms up to the air. Shake 'em. You give me reason to live. You give me reason to live. You give me reason to live. You give me reason to live. Suspicious minds are talkin', Tryin' to tear us apart. They say that my love is wrong, They don't know what love is. They don't know what love is. They don't know what love is. They don't know what love is. I know what love is. [Covered by Etta James, 1974; Joe Cocker, 1986; and several others.] [* When Etta James sang this, she sang "take off that mess."] |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: oldhippie Date: 14 Jan 17 - 02:52 PM RUFUS AND BEVERLY by Mark Graham; it's in the DT. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: Mrrzy Date: 14 Jan 17 - 04:54 PM THE YEOMAN OF KENT, or pretty much anything bawdy by either Ed McCurdy or Oscar Brand... I never liked the tinker song. Don't know why. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: I NEVER DO ANYTHING TWICE (S Sondheim) From: Jim Dixon Date: 14 Jan 17 - 05:56 PM WyoWoman mentioned this and posted partial lyrics on 23-Sep-2000: I NEVER DO ANYTHING TWICE Words and music by Stephen Sondheim, 1976. As sung by Millicent Martin on "Side by Side by Sondheim" (Original London Cast Recording) 1. When I was young and simple—I don't recall the date— I met a handsome captain of the guard. He visited my chambers one evening very late, In tandem with a husky St. Bernard. At first, I was astonished, and tears came to my eyes, But later, when I asked him to resume, He said, to my surprise: "My dear, it isn't wise. Where love is concerned, one must freshen the bloom. CHORUS: "Once, yes, once for a lark. Twice, though, loses the spark. One must never deny it, But after you try it, You vary the diet." Said my handsome young guard: "Yes, I know that it's hard. Still, no matter how nice, I never do anything twice. Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh-unh-unh." 2. I think about the baron who came at my command And proffered me a riding crop and chains. The evening that we shared was meticulously planned. He took the most extraordinary pains! He trembled with excitement; his cheeks were quite aglow, And afterwards he cried to me: "Encore!" He pleaded with me so to have another go. I murmured caressingly: "Whatever for? CHORUS: "Once, yes, once is a lark. Twice, though, loses the spark. Once, yes, once is delicious, But twice would be vicious, Or just repetitious. Someone's bound to be scarred. Yes, I know that it's hard. Still, no matter the price, I never do anything twice. Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh-unh-unh." 3. And then there was the abbot who worshiped at my feet And dressed me in a wimple and in veils. He made a proposition which I found rather sweet, And handed me a hammer and some nails. In time, we lay contented and he began again By fingering the beads around our waists. I whispered to him then: "We'll have to say 'Amen,' For I have developed more catholic tastes. CHORUS: "Once, yes, once for a lark. Twice, though, loses the spark." As I said to the abbot, "I'll get in the habit, But not in the habit. You've my highest regard, And I know that it's hard. Still, no matter the vice, I never do anything twice. CHORUS: "Once, yes, once can be nice. Love requires some spice. If you've something in view, Something to do, Totally new, I'll be there in a trice, But I never do anything twice, Except— No, I never do anything twice." [Written by Sondheim for the film The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976), where it was called "The Madame's Song", it was later retitled "I Never Do Anything Twice" and used in the musical revue "Side by Side by Sondheim" (1976). [Bebe Neuwirth sings this excellently on her album "Porcelain" (2011) under the title "The Madame Song."] |
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Subject: Lyr Add: BIG THING (Duran Duran) From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 15 Jan 17 - 01:04 AM Big Thing by: Duran-Duran -1988 Get it up get it out get it in time Hang it up hanging out hanging on a big thing Move it in move it out move up the line Bang it up bang it out banging on a big thing Brothers and sisters let me hear it Get it up get it on get it in time Give me the green light and watch me move it Move it up move it out move up the line This is temptation power rotation Give me the friction and watch me make it Make it up making out making it slide So glad you came along This time you won't be wrong You love to turn it on And you're not the only one Brothers and sisters, we can take it Shake it up shake it out shake it all the time Give me the suction we can stick it Lick it up suck it up stick it outside This is temptation (station) Power rotation (to station) Give me the playlist and watch me eat it Eat it up beat it up beat it in time So glad you came along This time you won't be wrong You love to turn it on And you're not the only one Get it up get it out get it in time Hang it up hanging out hanging on a big thing Move it in move it out move up the line Bang it up bang it out banging on a big thing Get it up get it out get it in time Hang it up hanging out hanging on a big thing Move it in move it out move up the line Bang it up bang it out banging on a big thing Sincerely, Gargoyle |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 15 Jan 17 - 01:13 AM In the Mudcat "Rugby" song thread: GET IT UP, GET IT IN Melody - Bonanza Theme rr Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around Hit the spot, make me hot I will scream out loud Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around Suck my toes, insert your hose Make my juices flow Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around When I am done and I have cum We'll start another round Get it up, get it in, get it out don't mess my hair do You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around. Sincerely, Gargoyle |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SEX AIDS FROM AMSTERDAM From: Rusty Dobro Date: 15 Jan 17 - 04:00 AM Or there's this, from the late, lamented Monty Parkin: SEX AIDS FROM AMSTERDAM When it's spring again I'll bring again Sex aids from Amsterdam Tulips just won't do, I'll bring to you Sex aids from Amsterdam. I can't wait until the day I fill these empty arms of mine, Like the windmill keeps gyrating, so the coach will be vibrating From the suitcase where I cram All these sex aids from Amsterdam When it's spring again I'll bring again Sex aids from Amsterdam, Once I've done the view I'll buy some new Sex aids from Amsterdam. I can't wait until I pay the bill and fill up these bags of mine, Like the windmill keeps on whirling, that's how your toes will be curling, When I stand there spreading jam on a sex aid from Amsterdam. When it's spring again I'll bring again Sex aids from Amsterdam, From my bargain break, back home I'll take Sex aids from Amsterdam. I can't wait until I try the drill with these new toys of mine, Like the windmill keeps revolving all our problems I'll be solving, It looks fun in the diagram, with these sex aids from Amsterdam. This one weighs a kilogram, It's a sex aid from Amsterdam. I'll bring sex aids from Amsterdam. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: TOO CLOSE TOGETHER (Sonny Boy Williamson From: Jim Dixon Date: 18 May 17 - 08:19 PM Oversoul mentioned this. Sonny Boy Williamson recorded two versions of this song. From the sound, I think the first of these is the earlier one: TOO CLOSE TOGETHER As recorded by Sonny Boy Williamson [II] I. 2.36 – from the album "King Biscuit Time" (2000): Well, you take back in the year nineteen an' forty-four: I had two fine chicks lived right door-to-door. They were too close together. Yeah, too close together. It was too close together, man, but that was the best that I could do. Well, I woke up early one mornin' to make a 'fore-day creep. [By the] Time I knocked on the door the other girl was lookin' at me. It was too close together. Yeah, they was too close together. It was too close together, but that was the best that I could do. Well, I slipped in the back door to get me a little toddy(?). Before I could walk out the door, she knowed all about it. It was too close together. Yeah, it was too close together. I know it was too close together, but that was the best that I could do. II. 2:10 or 2:12 - from the albums "Ninety Nine" (2017) and "The Essential Sonny Boy Williamson" (1993) I had two fine chicks, lived both on the same street. Too much love, and the time couldn't be beat. It was too close together. Yes, man, they lived too close together. Yeah, they was so close together, that I couldn't see one for the other. Early one Sunday mornin' they both would go to church. I tried to slip one out, but I see it just won't work. It was too close together. Yeah, they was too close together. I know it was too close together, an' I couldn't see one for the other. Got up early one mornin', thought I was makin' a 'fore-day creep. Time I knocked on her door, the other girl says: "Is you lookin' for me?" They was too close together. Oh, yeah, they was too close together. I know it was too close together, an' I couldn't see one for seein' the other. |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: FreddyHeadey Date: 19 May 17 - 04:22 AM Mango Earl Okin https://youtu.be/k4LjTqMjNho |
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Subject: Lyr Add: YOU LEFT ME SORE (Todd Rundgren) From: Jim Dixon Date: 20 May 17 - 10:25 PM The Beanster suggested this back on 22-Sep-2000: YOU LEFT ME SORE Written by Todd Rundgren As recorded by Todd Rundgren on "Something/Anything?" (1972) Love is infectious and I was a victim, The worst case you'd ever see, But still I know no doctor or nurse Could cure what you gave to me. CHORUS: 'Cause you Really, you left me sore, Really left me sore, now, baby. You messed me up for sure and I don't mean maybe, 'Cause you really left me sore. You didn't tell me and I didn't ask, So there's nobody left to blame But still I know no place I can go That helps to relieve the pain. CHORUS Now I know no good ever comes From love on a one-night stand. CHORUS TWICE |
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Subject: RE: Humorous Sex Songs From: kendall Date: 21 May 17 - 08:07 PM An ex once asked me to sing the dirtiest song I know. She never asked for the sequel. old downeast saying, "If you know the dog bites..." |
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