BS: reinstatement of US colonial status

Subject: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 09:11 AM

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your co-operation.



Nothing to do with me -- I'm just passing it on! (Although I like the bit about nuking Quebec & France!)

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: JedMarum
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 09:19 AM

Great Stuff - but this thread's already going ... here

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 10:16 AM

I just knew it was going to be one of those days!! Oh well, I can always claim it was your fault for not using a clear enough thread name: I think honour will be satisfied.

Cosider this thread closed, folks -- go to Jed's above.

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 12:10 PM

Oh that's OK Steve........like uh, what's another thread, ya' know? Lemmee toss a few answers in for ya'........

1) Being a 'Merican, I never got to "interspersed" and stopped instead on "intercourse" which was a lot more entertaining. Give it a try sometime. Ya' know, like, uh, you could go try it alone if you want to......We have a nifty expression for that, ya' know? And something else, like how is it that y'all get Left-tenant out of some French kinda' thing that should obviously be Loo-tenant?

2) You got a good point there except y'all can't get together on one form of English over there either.

3) Lookit here Steve, we ain't much good at tellin' whether some feller is from Georgia or North Carolina and its the devil's own plague tryin' to figure if someone is from Michigan or Ohio, although Pennsylvanians, at least in the western part of that state say "Jagov" for "Jackoff." As far as y'all and the Oz folks go, well, like, uh, yer all jez "furriners" and that's about as much as we need to know.

4) Aw fer chrissakes.........Like, everytime I turn around, Michael Caine is playin' some likable sap.......What else do you want?

5) Most of us pretty much hate the tune after having to learn it in grade school and learning one set of words to it is enough for anybody!

6) Steve, like, I gotta' tell you that the Soccer thing is catchin' on real big here because we have a lot of folks who are below average in the smarts department and Soccer is their kind of game......These would be the folks who are too stupid to use their hands. And that Rugby crap ain't never gonna' fly here either since no healthy, red-blooded 'Merican male is gonna' use the word scrum....sounds too much like scrotum.......and when you are all huddled up like that, well................

7) Regarding the Canadjun problem, well, like, they really ain't one....or at least not much of one. Most of the folks in Montreal are too busy talking in tongues to accomplish anything and the crowd in Toronto have all seen "Phantom" way too many times to be a threat. I'm thinking though that like uh, well......What we oughta' do is take away their baseball teams cause they are fouling up the game. It delays the hell out of things to play TWO anthems and when they play up there, everybody is confused because they play the SSB first and that Canadjun thing last. I mean, its a known fact that the last two words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Play Ball."

8) Why just November 8th. Y'all ain't been able to make a decision without outside help for over two hundred years when your whole Empire started going down the tubes.

9) We like that "Dee-troyt Iron." Its only all of you world crybabies making a fuss or we'd still be building the 425 horsepower version of the 427 C.I.D. (Big Rat) Chevy and pluggin' it into everything from Corvettes to Pick-Up trucks. Man, you get yourself a pickemup with a gun rack, a 427, and a six-pack of Bud........now that's a ride for ya'!!! And you can get twin saddle tanks on the pickup that'll hold 52 gallons altogether which means you only have to stop for gas every 400 miles or so. Y'all can keep that German stuff, its way over-engineered. There's a Mercedes that has EIGHT parts to the thermostat housing fer gawdsakes!

10) We ain't got a clue. Ya' see they put people like Arlen Spector and Jerry Ford on a committee to find out and neither of them guys could find their ass with even ONE hand. Ya' know?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: kendall
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 12:50 PM

and that aint all..we do mispronounce aluminium thats true, however, you folks mispronounce lavatory. Our cars are junk? you guys never made a dependable car except for the Rolls Royce. Your Jaguar is a pretty piece of shit,or it was until Ford bought them out, and your Morris, Austin, and that three wheel abortion are the worst kind of crap! If you are going to mess with us, remember we have that 2nd amendment which is left over from the first time we clashed! Seriously, that was a fun piece!

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Jim Krause
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 01:00 PM

1. It's a deal provided you look up "antidisestablishmentarianism."

2. How would you know? A Cockney can't understand a Highlander anyway, so what's the difference?

3. See above

4. We'd prefer Irish

5. Deal, that is if you Brits learn ALL Woody's verses to This Land Is Your Land

6. You leant to play baseball and it's a deal. We could have a real World's Series, then.

7. No deal. Too expensive, and besides, it would absolutely ruin NAFTA.

8. Agreed, if we get Guy Faukes Day off instead.

9. They're mostly Japanese. Take your complaint to them.

10. The Mafia Soddy

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: harpmolly
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 01:10 PM

I know this is an old one, but it seemed germane to the discussion...

"Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the lovers French, the cars German, and it is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the cars French, the lovers Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians."

Mollificent

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Willie-O
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 01:29 PM

Foist: Her Britannic Majesty is pretty much out of the empire business, cept for maybe a few islands here and there. Even in Canada we even have our own constitution now and don't need the British Parliament to approve amendments to it. If they were to get back in the colony business, I really don't think they'd want the U.S. They're stilloverpaid and oversexed and should be kept over there.

Second: The game referred to in N America as "football" is a stupid boring game, but not unique to the US. It is also played in Canada, albeit a slightly more exciting version.

Willie-O

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: The Shambles
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 01:31 PM

You mean we have lost the colonies?

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 03:22 PM

As Lord Chauncey was recently heard to say..."It's only available in Canada. They actually say it's better than our British tea!!!"

Major Greystoke: "Preposterous!!!"

Colonel Bottomley: "Balderdash!!!"

Vicar Bigglesworth (trying the tea...): "only in Canada, you say???? ........ Pity!"

Har! Har! I love the piece that started this thread, but I would have to say that Great Britain has become too anachronisitic and moribund to handle the job of re-occupying the U S of A. It's up to us Canadians! A regiment of well-armed hosers is standing by at this very moment, toques on head, and Molson's Canadian in hand, ready to storm across the Peace Bridge and set things right at last in them 48 states, plus Alaska. As for Hawaii, we're gonna let the Japanese take that. There's a precedent been set for that already, after all, and they deserve a second chance.

O Canada! Our home and native land....

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 03:27 PM

For more detailed info on the upcoming Canadian takeover of the USA (and then the world), go to http://www.standonguard.com/

Resistance is futile.

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: MMario
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 03:46 PM

Are the chicken border patrol mounties going to be sent in?

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: kendall
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 04:04 PM

Nice web site, but I believe the poem goes, In Flanders fields the poppies GROW..not blow..

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 04:15 PM

Its Hawk that blows. ......Obviously a misprint of some sort Kendall.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: wildlone
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 04:38 PM

Spaw, in English LOO, is another term for Lavatory
TENANT is "a person who rents land or a house [or part of] from a landlord; inhabitant , dweller
I find it strange that there is a rank in the American armed forces for people who live in toilets.
dave, now in hiding

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: kendall
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 04:42 PM

there is no F in lieutenant

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 04:45 PM

Oh I dunno' Wildchild.........Considering the respect which the rank gets from both officers and enlisted, it makes perfect sense!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: InOBU
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 04:57 PM

Jeeze Steve! This was just sent to me, and I copied it to post on Mudcat, but ya beat me to it! If this happens, it will give a new meaning to God save the Queen!
Chearsm'dears
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 05:10 PM

I want dual citizenship immediately!

Mexican and Japanese.

But I think Quebec will go peacfully without the nuking.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 05:30 PM

Darn. I had been wanting to nuke Quebec ever since the racist "one language" sign law went into effect.

Alex
O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Penny S.
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 05:35 PM

Great! There was I with a modest proposal for the folks in Florida to revive a certain old claim about taxation and representation....this beats it hollow.

We have actually had governments elected with a minority of the popular vote. Churchill was one, in 1951. Thatcher was the other (though not every election). She used to argue that the system accurately represented the will of the people. Some mystical way, I suppose, in which we were led to vote against her party in order to see her achieve office. It needs reformation, our system, but strangely, when in office, no government wants to do it.

Penny

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Lanfranc
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 06:14 PM

Great Britain is an oxymoron.

So, apparently, is United States.

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Greyeyes
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 07:03 PM

Good points Lanfranc, well made.

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 07:22 PM

Kendall - the quote was correct, although I'm lost as to where you got it from. I have the book in front of me now, as mentioned in other threads....

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarece heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
the torch, be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

John McCrae

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 08:58 PM

"We have actually had governments elected with a minority of the popular vote. Churchill was one, in 1951. Thatcher was the other (though not every election)."

Well strictly speaking most governments in Britain get a minority of the vote, just as whoever gets to be President will have received a minority of the vote (and a tiny proportion of the actual electorate since so few people voted, though I gather it was just over one in two this time, a bit more than the last time).

The word for getting more votes than anyone else is "plurality" - majority means that most of those who voted voted for you, wich doesn't often happen when there are more than two parties involved. Thatcher never got anywhere near a majority, ansd most people loathed her.. She only got the high majorities in Parliament because the parties against her were scratching each other's eyes out. Once people got their act together to vote tactically in 1997 the Tories were absolutely slaughtered. As would probably happen every time if people were allowed to rank candidates in order of preference.

What happened in 1951 (and I think in 74) was that the party that won got fewer votes than the largest opposition party, but got more people elected, because of the way the voters were distributed in differenmt constiutuencies. Not unlike the Electoral College situation really.

I imagine it happens in Congress as well, but noone ever seems to add up the figures there, or if they do noone makes a fuss about it. (Though I imagine in real,life who own Congress is probably more important in shaping the lives of ordinary people - most monarchs, elected or not, are largely show business after all.)

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 09:15 PM

Right on, McGrath. I can well believe that Maggie Thatcher was generally detested. "Attila the Hen", I've heard her referred to as...

During that same period Canadians had a Conservative Party prime minister named Brian Mulroney. He loved Ronald Reagan so much that he used to just practically melt in his presence. Mulroney set about to undo over a hundred years of moderate social democracy in Canada and sell the country out to the USA, among other things. His ultimate accomplishment was to so completely damn the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada that they have since almost ceased to exist as a political force in this country.

In their place we have had a monopoly by their long-running opponents the Liberal Party of Canada, under Jean Chretien. Those worthy fellows have proceeded to follow the very same neo-conservative policies that the Canadian public voted them in to repudiate!!!! They are hypocrites of the first water.

Under these circumstances, our takeover of the world is, sadly, in extreme jeopardy since we can't even get our own house in order. :-)

Still and all, it's a nice place to live. There's a basic decency here that survives in spite of the political nonsense.

Spaw - you mispelled "it's" again...left out the apostrophe! :-D (e.g.) Remember now, the possessive form has no apostrophe, but the verb has one...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: GUEST,CraigS
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 09:20 PM

Dear Spaw, I'd like you to know that we make very reliable cars in England - the badges on them say Nissan, Ford and Jaguar (which is UK English for Ford) but they are made in England, except that the Fords cost too much to make here so they're going to be made in Spain and Germany from now on.

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 09:38 PM

My feeling is that the best cars are made in Japan and Germany, generally speaking. American cars are much improved over what they once were, however. English cars? I'm not sure what to say about those, except that Jaguars are generally an auto mechanic's nightmare.

Oops...thread creep!

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 03:28 AM

Some of you guys really do have a problem with the English language, don't you? Watch my lips: "blow" = "bloom" -- read Fitzgerald's translation of the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. "Lieutenant" is one of those misterious historical quirks -- how do you pronounce "colonel" in America?

I'm no sportsman myself, but, 'Spaw, rugby is a game for men: only cissies need more protection than a pair of shin pads and a jock strap.

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 03:52 AM

Steve didn't finish his last sentence, it should have gone one "...and only in bed"
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 03:53 AM

'Spaw, I find I have overlooked an important point in your response. I find your reccommedation of intercourse -- I presume you mean the sexual rather that the social kind -- in poor taste, my friend. I'm nearly 50, and any kind of sexual activity would be extremely undignified at my age; besides, what would the neighbours think?

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Wolfgang
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 05:12 AM

Kendall, here's the correct British spelling of your last post:

there is no effin' lieutenant

Wolfgang (pretending not to understand what you meant)

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 09:03 AM

Ok I've always been a secret Anglophile but really, you chaps don't want the colonies back. A friend posted this yo me last night. here are my reasons 1-you'd have to recount all the votes for the election and have both George W. Bush Jr. (Also known as jorge double in Texas) and Al Gore (AKA Al "I invented pants" Gore)over for tea and a sleep over with HRH. 2-Soccer is gaining in popularity but then you'd have to put up with armed soccer moms. 3- We would be glad to change to Her majesty's English but you people insist on naming towns "Worcestershire". Let's face it, you could hurt yourself trying to say that. 4- Can't declare war on Quebec. Sorry old bean but my paternal grandfather would be most upset. 5- No argument about the cars. 6- No argument about football except "Jock Straps we don't need no stinkin jock straps!" 7-you get our politicians including Strom Thurmond, The above mentioned presidential hopefuls, David Dukes, Newt Gingrich, Trent Lott, and Bill Clinton (What do you call interns there so we can brief the soon to be former president?) We keep Hillary and MP for NY. She deserves it for putting up with Bill. 8-You also have to find a position for Ken Starr as a Queen's Counselor. (You poor bastards) 9-You've seen our football fans and the way we drive, now you want to teach them a new national anthem?! Talk about dreamy-eyed idealism! You have a better chance of seeing Oliver Cromwell about driving a Lorry down A-1! 10-JFK? The CIA did it. oh and by the way since you're our new government, would you prosecute the bastards, and open the archives so we can get on with our lives? (Unless of course MI-6 was involved. There is an offical secrets act after all.) 11-We get the spice girls, Uma Thurman and Lady Diana Rigg. You get Rosanne Barr,the beastie boys and JOan Collins back. 12-We would pay you the 224 years of back taxes but we can't get a budget passed and besides,there is the small matter of war loans, subsidies and lend-lease for WWI and WWII.

Great post and by the way Her majesty's troops wouldn't want to try to take Bed-Sty (Bedford- Stuyvesant) in NYC, Watts or Chicago especially after dark. The Armoured cars would be stripped ti the fram before your troops got out of them and they'd be offering to sell you your own weapons.

Kindst reguards, Neil

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 09:25 AM

Sissy is spelled with an S not a C. Be careful about trading with us..remember, you gave us Twiggy and we gave you the Torrey Canyon!

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Gern
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 10:16 AM

Oddly enough, the Romans are considering the recolonization of Britain as well. The demands they have made seem reasonable to me, and should be considered by any British citizens who do not want THEIR independence revoked. These include the following: 1.Stop exporting dumb comedies to American Public TV networks. 2. No more stories about Prince William, ever. 3. Stop mixing beer with lemonade and other vile fluids. 4. No more Beatle anthologies, and a mandatory retirement age for fossil rockers like the Stones. 5. Develop an appealing cuisine of some sort. But don't include native beef just yet. 6. For God's sake, try to convince your women that Charles has no more sex appeal than a cocker spaniel, and perhaps less personality. 7. Torch the Chunnel before all this cultural infection spreads to the continent.

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 16 Nov 00 - 12:24 PM

You missed out the most important one of all: compulsory installation of bidets in all UK bathrooms (not lavatories -- that would just be asking for trouble!). One Italian MP wants to have us thrown out of the EU because of the appalling state of British personal hygiene. More power to his elbow, I say!

Steve

P.S. If the Germans start moving into Poland, look out!

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 06:12 AM

And news just in ...

The US election could be decided in true Wild West fashion with the candidates playing a hand of poker - winner takes all.
Under state law in New Mexico, where just 377 votes separate the two candidates and ballots are still being counted, five-card stud poker can be played by candidates in the event of a tie in any local election.
The set of circumstances required before the card game with the highest ever stake can take place are complex but not impossible.
George W. Bush must win Florida and Al Gore must successfully challenge Mr Bush's slim win in New Hampshire - that is when the New Mexico count would decide the presidency.
Dino Montoya, press secretary to New Mexico's secretary of state, told Ananova that only last year the poker hand rule was used to decide the election of a magistrate after two candidates, Republican Jim Blanq and Democrat Lena Milligan, tied at 798 votes.
A hand of poker in the local courthouse settled the election in Mr Blanq's favour.
In 1988, an ace-high flush was enough for James Farrington to become Mayor of Estancia.
Mr Montoya said: "It could be a hand of poker or the flip of a coin - its up to the two candidates involved and in this case that would be Mr Bush and Mr Gore or their representatives in the state.
"It has been that way ever since we became a state - we achieved statehood in 1912. People are quite proud of the way things are done here and we get a lot of interested calls about the method."
For more, visit http://ananova.com/go/75025

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 06:15 AM

Oops! Maybe Joe can correct "hrtef" to "href" in my clicky?

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 06:38 AM

There's a bunch of these things flying around the net, each one funnier than the last. This one made me laugh:

=========

Serbian president Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000 peacekeeping troops to the U.S. Monday, pledging full support to the troubled North American nation as it struggles to establish democracy.

Commenting, he said: "We must do all we can to support free elections in America and allow democracy to gain a foothold there," Kostunica said. "The U.S. is a major player in the Western Hemisphere and its continued stability is vital to Serbian interests in that region." Kostunica urged Al Gore, the U.S. opposition-party leader who is refusing to recognize the nation's Nov. 7 election results, to "let the democratic process take its course."

"Mr. Gore needs to acknowledge the will of the people and concede that he has lost this election," Kostunica said. "Until America's political figures learn to respect the institutions that have been put in place, the nation will never be a true democracy."

Serbian forces have been stationed throughout the U.S., with an emphasis on certain trouble zones. Among them are Oregon, Florida, and eastern Tennessee, where Gore set up headquarters in Bush territory. An additional 10,000 troops are expected to arrive in the capital city of Washington, D.C. by Friday.

Though Kostunica has pledged to work with U.S. leaders, he did not rule out the possibility of economic sanctions if the crisis is not resolved soon. "For democracy to take root and flourish, it must be planted in the rich soil of liberty. And the cornerstone of liberty is elections free of tampering or corruption," Kostunica said. "Should America prove itself incapable of learning this lesson on its own, the international community may be forced to take stronger measures."

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Lanfranc
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 07:41 AM

There is an Australian song called "It's On" which includes the prescient and appropriate lines "...Elections could be on the best of ten rounds, and it's on, all reason and logic are gone, just winning the fight, won't prove that you're right. It's sad, it's true, but it's on".

Now THERE'S an interesting prospect!

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 07:50 AM

Gern wrote: >Oddly enough, the Romans are considering the >recolonization of Britain as well. The demands they have >made seem reasonable to me, and should be considered by >any British citizens who do not want THEIR independence >revoked. These include the following:

Can we implement these anyway? They seem *such* good ideas.

Re lease-lend, I thought we repaid these loans a couple of years ago so you can recall McDonalds and Starbucks. PLEASE!

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Jim Krause
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 01:10 PM

Far oot, I say, eh? I'll have another Molson's. At last we get socialized medicine. FAR OOT. Soddy

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 01:39 PM

We would recall McDonald's except they are a government unto themselves. As for starbucks who the hell knows? I drink maxwell house when I'm not in the field and boil my own in the field. Do we have to take them back? We'd really rather have a good grogshop. Neil

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 01:48 PM

Manitas, simply stop eating/drinking there and they'll go away. Honest.

Does the Roman thing mean they'll have to rebuild Hadrian's Wall? Or re-dig Offa's Dike?

Alex
O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: InOBU
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 07:10 PM

Would you settle for the Florida colony? - Larry

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Troll
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 10:58 PM

FYI, The Crown colonies of East Florida and West Florida did NOT join the rebellion in 1776. They remained loyal and many Loyalists from Georgia and the Carolinas fled there.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Wotcha
Date: 18 Nov 00 - 12:45 AM

... I believe that the Royal Navy actually say "Loo- Tenant" and "Loo-Tenant Commander" as opposed to the other services, plus they drill like Americans (no stamping of feet -- for fear of putting a hole in their wooden decks): could it be something to do with sailing in tubs on The Old Grey Funnel Line ...
We'll get America back if it's recolonized ... the British Senior Service is already infiltrated: ... and the Canadians, well, they salute like Americans so the battle is half won on the parade field.
Then it'll be our turn to put a new Lord Protector in office ... and finish that business of 1776 -- the Third English Civil War.
Cheers, Brian

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Nov 00 - 06:01 PM

Gee Troll: I believe you may be on to something. If Florida never rebelled, then they are still part of the UK, and hence,... Gore won! I'll make some calls. - Larry

Subject: RE: BS: reinstatement of US colonial status
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 00 - 10:30 PM

Hey, guys, WHAT ABOUT THE CANADIAN TAKEOVER!!! This is serious business, folks. Imagine it...

2 moose in every garage. Back bacon and maple syrup on every table. CANADIAN BEER!!!! Red Rose Tea! Rezdan! Mounties, trim and neat in their red uniforms, instead of the typical fat, corrupt state trooper with his gut hanging over his belt. A national defence budget of under 24,000 dollars annually (and that's Canadian dollars!)...which is enough to maintain a series of loudspeakers mounted along the border over which the announcement "We surrender! We surrender! We surrender!" is to be broadcast continuously in the event of armed invasion of our territory by any external aggressor. Why this alone would free up enough cash to completely end poverty, homelessness, and a host of other social problems presently afflicting America.

Oh, and Soddy - you posted "Far oot, I say, eh? I'll have another Molson's. At last we get socialized medicine. FAR OOT. Soddy"

Soddy, you should know that Canadians are pretty well the last people around who actually say "out". Americans say "owwwwwt", stretching the sound owwwwwt and giving it a very nasal overtone. Scots and ONLY SCOTS say "oot".

Far out, eh?

- LH