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Naughty kids' greatest hits

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Squid 19 Sep 97 - 08:42 PM
Alice 19 Sep 97 - 09:25 PM
Alice 19 Sep 97 - 09:26 PM
dick greenhaus 19 Sep 97 - 10:10 PM
Earl 19 Sep 97 - 10:59 PM
Rosemary 20 Sep 97 - 01:00 AM
alison 20 Sep 97 - 07:17 AM
dick greenhaus 20 Sep 97 - 12:50 PM
Alan of Australia 20 Sep 97 - 08:51 PM
Susan of DT 21 Sep 97 - 10:14 AM
Jon W. 22 Sep 97 - 02:53 PM
lli 22 Sep 97 - 03:14 PM
Wkailey 22 Sep 97 - 03:16 PM
Ole Bull 22 Sep 97 - 08:26 PM
Akiba 22 Sep 97 - 08:46 PM
Wolfgang (Hell) 24 Sep 97 - 06:01 AM
Jerry Friedman, jfriedman@nnm.cc.nm.us 24 Sep 97 - 05:31 PM
Bill D 24 Sep 97 - 07:06 PM
Alice C. (of Cleveland) 24 Sep 97 - 10:18 PM
Laura and Alice C. 24 Sep 97 - 10:46 PM
Bert 25 Sep 97 - 09:15 AM
Bert 25 Sep 97 - 09:18 AM
Jon W. 25 Sep 97 - 12:37 PM
Nonie Rider 25 Sep 97 - 05:08 PM
Jon W. 26 Sep 97 - 10:45 AM
JMike 26 Sep 97 - 11:48 AM
Susan of California 26 Sep 97 - 12:32 PM
JMike 26 Sep 97 - 02:24 PM
lli 26 Sep 97 - 03:28 PM
Catfeet 26 Sep 97 - 07:18 PM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 28 Sep 97 - 12:04 AM
Ole Bull 28 Sep 97 - 05:27 PM
DWDitty 29 Sep 97 - 01:05 PM
Wkailey 29 Sep 97 - 01:38 PM
29 Sep 97 - 05:30 PM
rechal 30 Sep 97 - 12:15 AM
JMike 30 Sep 97 - 12:24 PM
Catfeet 30 Sep 97 - 04:47 PM
Wkailey 30 Sep 97 - 06:13 PM
JMike 01 Oct 97 - 10:35 AM
Jon W. 01 Oct 97 - 12:08 PM
Downeast Bob 01 Oct 97 - 05:19 PM
Downeast Bob 01 Oct 97 - 10:46 PM
Downeast Bob 01 Oct 97 - 11:22 PM
Jack (who is calle jack) 02 Oct 97 - 01:40 PM
Bert 02 Oct 97 - 01:47 PM
Jerry Friedman, jfriedman@nnm.cc.nm.us 02 Oct 97 - 10:58 PM
Jerry Friedman 02 Oct 97 - 11:04 PM
Bert 03 Oct 97 - 08:36 AM
Jack (who is called Jack) 03 Oct 97 - 04:52 PM
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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Squid
Date: 19 Sep 97 - 08:42 PM

My version of Comin' 'Round the Mountain:

She was comin' 'round the mountain doing ninety
When the chain on her motorcycle broke
She was laying in the grass
with the muffler up her ass
And her tits were playing Dixie on the spokes


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Alice
Date: 19 Sep 97 - 09:25 PM

WHAT DID DELAWARE?

1. What did Delaware, boys,
What did Delaware? (3 times)
I ask you now as a personal friend,
What did Delaware?
She wore her New Jersey, boys,... (repeat)
I tell you now as a personal friend,
she wore her New Jersy.

2. What did Idaho, boys...
She hoed her Maryland, boys...
3. What did Ioway, boys...
She weighed a Washington, boys...
4. How did Wiscon sin, boys...
She stole a New brass key, boys...
5. What did Tennessee, boys...
She saw what Arkansaw, boys...
6. How did Flora die, boys...
She died in Missouri, boys...
7. Where has Oregon, boys...
She's gone Okla home, boys...

NOBODY LIKES ME

Nobody likes me, eveybody hates me,
I'm goin' to eat some worms.
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat, juicy ones
I'm goin'to eat some worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

Up comes the first one, up comes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm,
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

I'M A NUT

I'm an acorn small and round
Lying on the cold, cold ground.
Everybody steps on me,
That is why I'm cracked, you see.

chorus
I'm a nut *snap *snap
I'm a nut *snap *snap
I'm a nut, I'm a nut, I'm a nut. *snap *snap

Called myself on the telephone
Just to see if I was home.
Asked me out for a little date
Picked me up at a quarter to eight.

chorus

Took me out to the movie show
Stayed too late and said, "Let's go."
Took my hand and led me out
Drove me home and gave a shout.

I'm a nut...

Alice in Montana


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Alice
Date: 19 Sep 97 - 09:26 PM

Did you get it?? Did you get it??


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 19 Sep 97 - 10:10 PM

Frank- I learned it as:

My Aunt Mary had a canary
Up the leg o' her drawers
For oors and oors
It cursed the Boers
And won the Victoria Cross.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Earl
Date: 19 Sep 97 - 10:59 PM

Squid, In our version it was the kickstand instead of the muffler.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Rosemary
Date: 20 Sep 97 - 01:00 AM

The first two lines are sung like "Frere Jacque" but the rest of the song is nothing like it.

I HATE BOSCO

I HATE BOSCO,
I HATE BOSCO,
ALTHOUGH IT'S GOOD FOR ME.
MY MAMA PUT IT IN MY MILK
TO TRY AND POISON ME.

BUT I FOOLED MAMA,
I PUT IT IN HER TEA.
AND NOW I HAVE NO MAMA
TO TRY AND POISON ME!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: alison
Date: 20 Sep 97 - 07:17 AM

Hi

There's a lovely book called "Keep the kettle boiling" (rhymes from a Belfast childhood), which has versions of many of the above in it.

Here's one with a definately Protestant slant,

Tune "The Happy Wanderer"

I love to go a wandering down by the chapel door,
And as I go I love to sing "The sash my father wore."

and what about the old favourite,

Here comes the bride, forty inches wide,
Slid down the bannister and broke her backside.

slainte
Alison


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 20 Sep 97 - 12:50 PM

Squid-
I learned it as:
She was comon' round the bend doin' nine miles an hour
When he chain on her bicycle broke;
She was found in the pass with a sprocket in her pocket
She was tickled to death by a spoke.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 20 Sep 97 - 08:51 PM

To the tune of "Cock O' The North":-

Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers
When she farted it departed to the sound of great applause.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Susan of DT
Date: 21 Sep 97 - 10:14 AM

Sheye and Jon W
The Dirty Old Man from Chine is more closely related to Old Shoes nad Leggin's (see DT)


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jon W.
Date: 22 Sep 97 - 02:53 PM

Variations of two songs mentioned above:

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms
short fat juicy ones, big long skinny ones, see how they wiggle and squirm
First you bite the heads off, then you suck the juice out, then you throw the skins away
Nobody knows how we survive on worms three times a day

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: lli
Date: 22 Sep 97 - 03:14 PM

There's one I remember just the end- "Hasten, Jason, get the basin/ Oops, slop, get the mop."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Wkailey
Date: 22 Sep 97 - 03:16 PM

I am surprised that no one ever added more verses to the good ol' Commet song. It's a very extensible concept. Here are some suggestions:

Commet will make your bathroom stink, Commet will make your hair turn pink! Commet will make you vomit, &c.

Commet is made of rotten cheese, Commet will make you cough and weeze &c, &c.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Ole Bull
Date: 22 Sep 97 - 08:26 PM

On top of spaghetti, All covered with cheese;
I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, It rolled down the hall...
something, something....

It seems as if top honors above (the favorite) is Miss Lucy's steamboat song. Am I correct in believing that that is an evolution of the 1840's minstrel song "Lucy Long"?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Akiba
Date: 22 Sep 97 - 08:46 PM

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with sauce,
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody coughed.

It rolled off the table,
It rolled on the floor,
And the last time I saw it,
It rolled out the door.


(Kosher version -- no mixing of meat & dairy, -- like meatball & cheese.)

This probably has the same ending you were hinting at, O.B.

Akiba


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Subject: Lyr Add: WEELA WALLIA
From: Wolfgang (Hell)
Date: 24 Sep 97 - 06:01 AM

Tim Jaques mentioned a cruel Irish song, here it is (well, my version is one of many, even the titles are different)

Weela Wallia (aka Down by the river Sallia aka Down by the river side-O)

1. There was an old woman who lived in the woods, weela weela wallia,
there was an old woman who lived in the woods, down by the river Sallia.
2. She had a baby three months old...
3. She had a penknife three inch long...
4. She stuck the knife in the baby's head...
5. The more she stuck, the more it was dead...
6. There were three knocks a-knocking at the door...
7. Two policeman and a man were there...
8. Are you the woman that killed the child...
9. Yes I am the woman that killed the child...
10. Then she got tried and she got hung...
11. The more she hung the more she was dead...
12. The moral of that story is...
don't stick knives in babies' heads...


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jerry Friedman, jfriedman@nnm.cc.nm.us
Date: 24 Sep 97 - 05:31 PM

"On Top of Spaghetti" is in the DT, credited to Tom Glaser.

The version of "Bingo" in the DT says you _mouth_ the missing letters. Heresy! You _clap_ for the missing letters! In my childhood the older kids (camp couselors) daringly sang, "There was a drummer had a drum, and Ringo was his name oh."

For a truly boring parody, there was always "Found a Peanut" (to the tune of Clementine):

Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.

Cracked it open...

It was rotten...

Ate it anyway...

So I died...

Went to heaven...

Saw St. Peter...

(I think there's more--hell gets in there somewhere.)


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Sep 97 - 07:06 PM

Many years ago, there was a bill in Congress to allow the addition of horse meat to some human foods...the late Senator Everett Dirkson, he of the greatest gravelly voice in recorded history, got up on the floor of the Senate, and sang

"The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be
"Out of the stable now, onto the table now..
"The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be,
"A Blue Plate Platter soon!"

the bill was defeated.....


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Alice C. (of Cleveland)
Date: 24 Sep 97 - 10:18 PM

Hi there--and especially to Jerry Friedman who does indeed remember the same local versions as I do! How delightful. I was at Fairfax Elementary1971-76. And you?

I remember the rest of "Found a Peanut":

Went to heaven...
Kicked an angel... (or, slugged Saint Peter...)
Went "the other way"...
Kicked the devil...
Back to heaven...
Wouldn't take me...
---then, SOME kids went on with--
Back to earth...
Found a peanut...
The whole wretched thing could become a circle! I never heard it sung more than once through, though. Small mercies.

Hey, does anyone else remember this playground taunt -- let's say you want to embarass two other kids named Richard and Kathy:

Kathy loves Richard,
Sittin' in the tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love,
Then comes marriage,
Then comes Kathy with the baby carriage!
Suckin' her thumb,
Chewin' her pants,
Doin' the hootchy-kootchy dance!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Laura and Alice C.
Date: 24 Sep 97 - 10:46 PM

Hi again--here's a submission from Laura, who grew up in West Virginia in the '70's. Same tune as Miss Lucy (what IS this tune, anyhow??)

I woke up Sunday morning, and looked up on the wall,
the beetles and the bedbugs, were playing a game of ball.

The score was six to nothing, the beetles were ahead,
the beetles scored a home run and it knocked me out of bed.

I fell into the sewer, and that is where I died,
They didn't call it murder, but they called it sewercide.

My mother is a German, my father is a spy,
and I'm the little blabbermouth who called the F.B.I.!

This was done to handclaps.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Bert
Date: 25 Sep 97 - 09:15 AM

When we used to sing 'Found a peanut', after the verse

ate it anyway...

it went....

got the bellyache...
went to hospital...
Cut him open...
found the peanut...
sew him upagain...
lost the scalpel...
cut him open...
found the scalpel...
sew him upagain...
and so on for every imaginable piece of hospital that could get lost


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Bert
Date: 25 Sep 97 - 09:18 AM

Of course, after hospital there should have been the word "equipment"


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jon W.
Date: 25 Sep 97 - 12:37 PM

two more for Found a peanut: Went below... Shoveling coal...

Also I just realized that the song I mentioned in the other kid's song thread and posted in yet another thread about sewer..suicide, etc. is a variation on the one that Laura and Alice posted just above, variation of Miss Lucy which Earl (12-Sep-97 in this thread) posted, with the tune name of "Good Night Ladies."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Nonie Rider
Date: 25 Sep 97 - 05:08 PM

Oh, lord, I'd forgotten "Found a peanut..." Single most tedious song this side of "A Hundred Bottles of Beer."

How 'bout:

I wish I was a hinecerarious A rappapotanamy, A ha ha ha ha

But since I'm not, and never can hope to be A hinecerarious, A rappapotanamy

I'm an egghead, I'm a junebug, And I'd rather bash my head against a wall Boo-hoo!

(I presume the long words were a spinoff on "rhinocerus" and "hippopotamus"...)

And then there's all the balls/boobs/body-parts variations on:

Do your (ears) hang low, do they wobble to and fro,

Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow,

Can you throw 'em over your shoulders and (something)

Do your ears hang low?

--Nonie


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jon W.
Date: 26 Sep 97 - 10:45 AM

The ears/boobs/etc. hang low song is sung to Turkey in the Straw. The third line, according to my wife and daughters from girl's camp, goes: "Can you throw them o'er your shoulder like a continental soldier?"


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: JMike
Date: 26 Sep 97 - 11:48 AM

The tune is only a dim memory, but we used to sing a song called "Atlantic City" which went:

I met a young girl in Atlantic last year
Who every bright morning would walk to the pier.
She'd dive in the water, it was smooth just like glass
And give all the people a view of her ----

Antics in the water clear up to her chin
And she'd never be drownded as others have been.

The girl had a brother who'd dive off the dock
And amuse all the people by shaking his ----

Fist at the crowd standing up on the shore
The same shore he'd stood on a moment before.

There were a couple more verses but I can't remember the setups for the "dirty" parts.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Susan of California
Date: 26 Sep 97 - 12:32 PM

Autumn and college football always make me think of this one from when I was in high school, sung to the tune of one of those big University fight songs. What I remember of it is this:

Cheer cheer for old _____ High,
You bring the grass and we'll all get high
Send the Freshmen out for hash,
and don't let a Sophomore bring in trash.
Nah nah nah
We never stagger, we never fall,
We all come down with phenobarbital

The last line is "For the glory of being high"

I know there's more, I just can't remember. Kinda tells you what era I was in high school, doesn't it? I hope todays kids are a little bit smarter than some of us were back then.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: JMike
Date: 26 Sep 97 - 02:24 PM

Just read Susan's post, shows how folk(???) music evolves.

When I was in high school in California in the early sixties we sang:

Beer, Beer for old Lemoore High,
bring on the whiskey, bring on the rye.
Send the freshmen out for gin
and don't let the sober sophomores in.
Juniors never stagger, seniors never fall,
they sober up on wood alcohol,
as the dear old faculty goes staggering down the hall.

The trick was that all members of a particular class would yell out when they were mentioned. Faculty never sang along as I remember. So it was about drugs 10 years later...?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: lli
Date: 26 Sep 97 - 03:28 PM

Those of us in elementary school in the early seventies learned this one-(sung to Frere Jacques)

Marijuana, marijuana/ LSD,LSD/ College kids are making it/ High school kids are taking it/ Why can't we? Why can't we?


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Subject: Lyr Add: BRINGING HOME A BABY BUMBLEBEE
From: Catfeet
Date: 26 Sep 97 - 07:18 PM

I can't believe no one's entered this one yet, but do y'all remember BRINGING HOME A BABY BUMBLEBEE, complete with hand motions?

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee.
Ouch! It stung me!

I'm smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Ooh, what a mess!

I'm licking up my baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm licking up my baby bumblebee.
Ooh, I feel sick.

I'm puking up my baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm puking up my baby bumblebee.
Ahhh, I feel better.

This can go on indefinitely, depending on how long is left in recess, and how inventive the singer is.

Catfeet


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 28 Sep 97 - 12:04 AM

We must have been naughty boys too, for we used to sing The North Atlantic Squadron and Barnacle Bill the Sailor. I think they were old navy songs kids had overheard their vet dads singing when in their cups. Certainly the lyrics contain references to activities that good children should not know about.

Does anyone have the full lyrics to My Dog Jack? I can only remember the first verse. I don't know the name of the tune but it sounds to me like a southern fiddle tune.

Had a little dog, his name was Jack
He shit all over the railway track
Train came by, the shit flew high
And hit the conductor right in the eye

For the person who mentioned the song or rhyme about the knight and ladies, I believe it went:

In days of old when knights were bold
And safes were not invented;
They'd put their socks upon their cocks
Thus babies were prevented.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Ole Bull
Date: 28 Sep 97 - 05:27 PM

And this is part two for TJ: In days of old when knights were bold and toilets weren't invented; they lay'd their load upon the road and went away contented.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: DWDitty
Date: 29 Sep 97 - 01:05 PM

Can't remember much but there was one that went to the tune of "Look Away"

Oh, I stuck my head in a little skunk's hole The little skunk said, "Well, bless my soul."


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Subject: In a Medievil mood
From: Wkailey
Date: 29 Sep 97 - 01:38 PM

Here is a verse of In Days of Old that I will admit to inventing at the age of 14 or so:

In days of old
When knights were bold
And heaters not invented,
The local whore was paid much more,
And not at all resented.

I grew up in Minnesota, so perhaps I was influenced by the weather.

Here is a much better little ditty on a medievil theme that I learned from my father. I think it was quite popular when he was in school (the thirties and forties). If so, it seems to show that the sophistication of our doggeral has declined perceptibly along with our educational standards. Not that all verses are that sophisticated, but a few of them are rather cleaver. There are supposedly many, many verses to this thing, but my dad, alas, only knew a few of them:

The King's Castration

'Twas the night of the King's castration
The royal ball was coming off.
And all the dukes and counts and no-accounts
Were there in their carriages and miscarriages.

"Where is Daniel?" cried the King.
"Daniel is in the lion's den."
"Bring Daniel fourth."
But Daniel slipped on a lion turd and came fifth.

"Oh shit!" cried the King
And a thousand loyal subjects dropped their drawers and strained.

"Where is the Queen?" cried the King.
"The queen is in bed with laryngitis."
"Last week it was Arthur Itus. They must be brothers!"
. . .
"Balls!" cried the Queen.
"If I had t[w]o I'd be King."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From:
Date: 29 Sep 97 - 05:30 PM

In the 30's it was:

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame
You take the Notre, I'll take the Dame.
Send a freshman out for gin
Don't let a sober sophomore in;
We never stagger, we never fall
We sober up on wood alcohol
While the drunken seniors stagger
On to the next saloon.

(I suspect it was Prohibition era, but I'm not sure.)


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: rechal
Date: 30 Sep 97 - 12:15 AM

DWDitty--here's the skunk song.

Well, I put my hand in a little skunk's hole
And the little skunk said, Well, bless my soul
Take it out! Take it out! Take it out!
Remove it.

Well, I didn't take it out, and the little skunk said
If you don't take it out, you'll wish you had
Take it out! Take it out! Take it out!
Pssssssssttttttt!
I removed it.

And yes, I remember the baby bumblebee song.


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Subject: ADD: The King's Catration - The Royal Ball
From: JMike
Date: 30 Sep 97 - 12:24 PM

Wkailey

In Boston circa '69 there was a highly distributed paper called "The Bloody Sheets" from somewhere (Harvard?, MIT?) with a collection of what passed for humor among us in those dark times. It contained a version of "The kings castration" which I remember as:

'Twas the night of the king's castration, the royal ball was coming off. Counts, discounts, and no-accounts stood around cameldunging each other, for in those days bullshit had not yet been invented.

Everyone was having a good time except Daniel. This angered the king who ordered Daniel to come forth. However Daniel slipped on a lion turd and only came in fifth. Daniel was so angry that he picked up the turd and threw it at random. Unfortunately, Random ducked and it hit the king.

"Oh SHIT!" cried the king, (for it was) and 20,000 loyal subjects squatted and grunted, for in those days the king's word was law and the king ruled with an iron hand.

"Where is the princess?" asked the king.

"In bed with laryngitis," said the queen.

"I'll kill that frigging Greek!" said the king, "Oh well, screw the princess."

And 20,000 loyal subjects were trampled in the rush, for in those days the king's word was law, and the king ruled with an iron hand.

"Oh balls," said the king, not because he wanted to, but because he had two.

"Balls yourself," said the queen, "If I had two, I could be king."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Catfeet
Date: 30 Sep 97 - 04:47 PM

Thanks Rechal, ever since it was mentioned, I've been trying to remember the rest of The skunk song too, and boy has it driven me crazy! :)

Catfeet


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Wkailey
Date: 30 Sep 97 - 06:13 PM

JMike, I love that line about the Princess. An invaluable addition to my collection. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: JMike
Date: 01 Oct 97 - 10:35 AM

Wkailey: Okay, we're even. (I like the carriages/miscarriages line).

Thanks & be seeing you.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jon W.
Date: 01 Oct 97 - 12:08 PM

My wife remembers the Old Notre Dame song from high school about 1970. She lived in a "dry" county in New Mexico (the buckle of the bible belt) so prohibition was still going on there.

The one we sang (in California) at football games was:

For it's beer beer beer that makes us want to cheer
And it's gin gin gin that makes us want to win
And it's hot roast duck that makes us want to...SCORE


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Downeast Bob
Date: 01 Oct 97 - 05:19 PM

The way I knew it in the 50s, was:

Lulu had a steamboat; steamboat had a bell;
Lulu went to heaven; steamboat went to

Bang away on Lulu, bang away all day.
Who you gonna bang on when Lulu's gone away?

Lulu had a chicken; she also had a duck;
She put them on the table to see if they would

Bang away on Lulu, bang away all day.
Who you gonna bang on when Lulu's gone away?

Lulu spilled her orange juice, Lulu broke her glass;
Then she slipped upon it and broke her little

Bang away on Lulu, bang away all day.
Who you gonna bang on when Lulu's gone away?

Ask me no more questions; I'll tell you no more lies;
Lulu got hit with a bucket of shit,
right between the eyes!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Downeast Bob
Date: 01 Oct 97 - 10:46 PM

"The Night of the King's Castration" was known in Chicago circa 1950, with a few variations:

"Balls, said the Queen. "If I had two, I'd be king!"

"Shit!" said the Prince, "I have to, and I'm not king."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Downeast Bob
Date: 01 Oct 97 - 11:22 PM

"The Night of the King's Castration" was known in Chicago circa 1950, with a few variations:

"Balls, said the Queen. "If I had two, I'd be king!"

"Shit!" said the Prince, "I have to, and I'm not king."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jack (who is calle jack)
Date: 02 Oct 97 - 01:40 PM

This isn't naughty but the football cheer reminded me of the engineers yell.

e to the x dy dx
e to the x dx
cosine secant tangent sine
Three-point-one-four-one-five-nine
square root, cube root, QED
Slipstick, Slide Rule GO UC!


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Bert
Date: 02 Oct 97 - 01:47 PM

I love it. We used to have a math teacher who took great delight in proving that
e to the j pi = -1


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jerry Friedman, jfriedman@nnm.cc.nm.us
Date: 02 Oct 97 - 10:58 PM

Hi back to you, Alice C.! I was at Lomond elementary school in Shaker Heights 1966-73. I seem to recall that Fairfax wasn't that far away.

The version of "The Night of the King's Castration" I learned at Princeton in about 1980 seems to have been influenced by the counterculture, because it began, 'Twas the night of the king's castration, the night of the king's last ball. And all the counts and councillors were gathered around the council table flinging pieces of camel turd, for bullshit was unknown in those days and camel turd was the word."

Also, "...but Daniel slipped in a pile of lion shit and came in fifth, losing ten points for the common people."

(I wonder if this had any influence on the late Roger Zelazny, another Clevelander, who named an important character in his Amber series "Random". It's the kind of thing he'd do.)

"Skunk Hole" is in the DT, with the WRONG TUNE. (It should be "Dixie", not "Turkey in the Straw".) That song and "Baby Bumblebee" remind me of this one, to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It" (later in life, it was "If you're horny and you know it, pull your pud):

Oh, I wish I was a little English sparrow, (2x)
I would sit upon the steeple and I'd spit upon the people,
Oh, I wish I was a little English sparrow.

There was another verse about wishing I was a little MOSquiTO, but I don't remember the rest.

At the same camp, my brother learned one that began, "I'm a camper, a dirty little camper./ I leave a trail of bug juice wherever I may go." (Bug juice = Kool-Aid et al.) This was apparently a parody of one from our mother's day: "I'm a villain, a dirty little villain."


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 02 Oct 97 - 11:04 PM

Also at the same camp (Red Raider, in Russell Twp., for Alice and any other Clevelanders) they sang "I Took a Leg". I just took a break to see whether it was in the DT, and lo and mirabile visu, it was! It's listed as "college", but apparently it worked its way down to the single-digit ages.

Tim Jaques, "Barnacle Bill" came later (so to speak), when I was about 13. Around the same time I learned, "In days of old, when knights were bold,/ And _rubbers_ weren't invented..." What are you, some kinda Canadian or some'm?


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Bert
Date: 03 Oct 97 - 08:36 AM

Jerry, Re: your "steeple" song, see "Yaw Yaw Yaw" in DT.


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Subject: RE: Naughty kids'greatest hits
From: Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 03 Oct 97 - 04:52 PM

Here's one that I didn't know that my 5 year old just taught me.

There are two incompleat lines in the "quarter" stanza.
Anyone know them?

My mother gave me a penny
So I could pay back Jenny
But I didn't pay back Jenny
Instead I bought bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum

My mother gave me a nickel
So I could buy a pickle
But I didn't buy a pickle
Instead I bought bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum

My mother gave me a dime
So I could buy a lime
But I didn't buy a lime
Instead I bought bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum

My mother gave me a quarter
So I could ---
But I didn't ---
Instead I bought bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum

My mother gave me a dollar
So I could become a scholar
I didn't become a scholar
Instead I bought bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum
Ba-room Ba-room Ba-bubble gum


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