Songs about getting older?

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 09:27 AM

Wow,
Some gentle clone has inserted Blue Clickies for the song links.
My post has one and I couldn't do them back then.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 10:30 PM

"Sailor's Rest" by Stan Rogers. (Not all songs about getting older have to be in favor of it. "No locks on the doors.")

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: If you do the right thing under duress, you still get credit, but you don't have as much fun. :||

Subject: Lyr Add: 75 SEPTEMBERS (Cheryl Wheeler)
From: Celtlover
Date: 12 Jan 06 - 11:11 PM

"75 Septembers" ...a lovely song from Cheryl Wheeler, written about her father...


75 SEPTEMBERS
Words And Music By
Cheryl Wheeler

In the year of the yellow cab
Shadow of the great world war
The third kid grandmom had
Came into this world
On a rolling farm in Maryland
When Wilson was the president
As summer blew her goodbye through the trees

A child of changing times
Growing up between the wars
Fords rolled off the lines
And bars all closed their doors
and I imagine you back then
With snap brim hat and farmer's tan
Where horses drew their wagons through the fields

Now the fields are all four lanes
and the moon's not just a name
Are you more amazed at how things change
Or how they stay the same
And do you sit here on this porch and wonder
How the time flies by
Or does it seem to barely creep along
With 75 Septembers come and gone

Were the fields all gold and fawn
Was the spring house dark and cool
Did the rooster crow at dawn
When they got you up for school
And would you tell me once again
The tales of granddad's hired men
And how they drove the old dirt road to town

Cause now the fields are all four lanes
And the moon's not just a name
Are you more amazed at how things change
Or how they stay the same
And do you sit here on this porch and wonder
How the times flies by
Or does it seem to barely creep along
With 75 Septembers come and gone

In the year of the yellow cab
Shadow of the great world war

Subject: Lyr Add: OLDER (from They Might Be Giants)
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 02:59 AM

OLDER
by They Might Be Giants

You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older
and now you're even older
and now you're even older

You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older
and now you're older still

time - is marching on
and time - is still marching on

this day will soon be at an end
and now it's even sooner
and now it's even sooner
and now it's even sooner

this day will soon be at an end
and now it's even sooner
and now it's sooner still

You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older
and now you're even older
and now you're even older

You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older
and now you're older still

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: cushty
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 07:35 PM

Does anyone know the rest of this one?

When I was younger I used to smoke fags in school,
Swear at the teachers, in class break all the rules.
But now I'm too old to be young again,
It's years since I saw my old friends,
And how I wish I was young again,
For the fun, the fun to find,
And oh, how I wish I was young again,
For the days I left behind.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE GOOD BOY (from Carl Sandburg)
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 08:48 PM

THE GOOD BOY
as sung by Carl Sandburg

I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet.
I shall have an old age full of rum and riot.
I have been a good boy, wed to peace and study.
I shall have an old age ribald, coarse, and bloody.

I have never cut throats, though I often yearned to,
Never sung the dirty songs that my fancy turned to.
I have been a good boy and done what was expected.
I shall be an old bum, loved but unrespected.

--- Joe Fineman [e-mail]
||: If it moves, fondle it, except porcupines, ball lightning, and policemen. :||

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jan 06 - 10:53 PM

I JUST DONT LOOK GOOD NAKED ANYMORE by Sheb Wooley

WILL YOU LOVE ME WHEN I'M OLD? trad.

GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM OF TIME trad.

Bert, I think that songs title is DADDY AND HOME. I know it if anyone wants it.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 14 Jan 06 - 10:21 AM

DEARIE
OLD ROCKIN' CHAIR'S GOT ME

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Carol
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 09:04 AM

The Old Lady's Song by Matt Armour

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: mandotim
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 09:29 AM

Steve Ashley's lovely song 'The Rough with the Smooth'?
Tim from Bit on the Side

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: kendall
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 02:15 PM

"Over the hill to the poor house"

Subject: Lyr Add: NAOMI (Ralph McTell)
From: GUEST,jinx
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 04:28 AM

Favourite song about growing old?

'Naomi' Ralph McTell

Age has made her frail
I'm scared to take her in my arms
But there's an understanding now
And a peace behind the eyes
And age is for complaining
But you won't here much from me
Growing old with Naomi

Now I recall the first time
I took her in my arms
At times I was unfaithful
She said: "no future in the past"
So we don't talk about it
She keeps a gentle edge on me
I don't mind growing old with Naomi

She wasn't all I wanted
But she's all I'll ever need
Oh, a rich man always wants some more
And I was rich indeed
A rich man and a poor fool
Yet it turned out right for me
How lucky can you get?
Growing old with Naomi

The kids today, they think that they've
Discovered everything
But me and her, well we'd done it all
Without a wedding ring
Sometimes things remind us
And she's smiling back at me
It ain't hard growing old with Naomi

She wasn't all I wanted
But she's all I'll ever need
Oh, a rich man and a poor fool
And I was rich indeed
I never thought her beautiful
But I do now, 'cause I see
I'm getting wiser
Growing old with Naomi

Oh, the place is kind of quiet now
The kids have all left home
We'd like to see more of them
But we're grateful when they call
And in the quietness afterwards
She comes and sits by me
Make me feel like a man
Growing old with Naomi

Subject: Lyr Add: STRANGE AFFAIR (Richard Thompson)
From: Mr Fox
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 11:50 AM

"Strange Affair" by Richard Thompson

This is a strange affair
The time has come to travel but the road is filled with fear
This is a strange affair
My youth has all been wasted and I'm bent and grey with years
And all my companions are taken away
And who will provide for me against my dying day
I took my own provision, but it fooled me and wasted away

Oh where are my companions?
My mother, father, lover, friend, and enemy
Where are my companions?
They're prisoners of death now, and taken far from me
And where are the dreams I dreamed in the days of my youth
They took me to illusion when they promised me the truth
And what do sleepers need to make them listen,
Why do they need more proof?
This is a strange, this is a strange affair

Won't you give me an answer?
Why is your heart so hard towards the one who loves you best?
When the man with the answer
Has wakened you, and warned you, and called you to the test
Wake up from your sleep that builds like clouds upon your eyes
And win back the life you had that's now a dream of lies
Turn your back on yourself and if you follow,
You'll win the lover's prize
This is a strange, this is a strange affair

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:22 PM

Somebody called my attention to htis thread. Take a look - it's a good one.

-Joe, getting older-

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: meself
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:47 PM

Leonard Cohen's 'Tower of Song':

My [something] is [something],
and my hair is grey;
I ache in the places
Where I used to play.

'Yesterday When I was Young'

'Time, Gentlemen, Time'

'The Boys of Barr Na Sraide' [sp.]

'Save Your Money When You're Young'

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: meself
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 10:34 PM

'Too Old to Think' (Sonny Boy Williamson II)

'Dublin in The Rare Ould Times'

Subject: Lyr Add: GENERATIONS OF CHANGE (Matt Armor)
From: Captain Ginger
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 03:07 AM

Matt Armor's "Generations of Change" is a fine song on growing older and handing on the baton to the young.

GENERATIONS OF CHANGE
(Matt Armor)

My faither was a baillie frae a wee fairm at Caiplie
He worked on the land a' the days o' his life
By the time he made second he aye said he reckoned
He'd ploughed near on half o' the East Neuk o' Fife
He fee'd on at Randerston, Crawhill and Clephinton
Cambo and Carnbee and big Rennie Hill
At Kingsbarn he married, at Boarhills he's buried
But man, had he lived, he'd be ploughing on still

        For those days were his days, those ways were his ways
        Tae follow the ploo while his back was still strong
        But those days have passed and the time came at last
        For the weakness of age to make way for the young.

I wisnae fir plooin', tae the sea I wis goin'
Tae follow the fish and the fisherman's ways
In rain, hail and sunshine I've watched the lang run line
Nae man mair contented his whole working day
I've lang lined the Fladden Ground, the Dutch and the Dogger Bank
Pulled the big fish frae the deep Devil's Hole
I've side trawled off Shetland, the Faroes and Iceland
In weather much worse than a body could thole.

        For that day was my day, that way was my way
        Tae follow the fish while my back was still strong
        But that day has passed and the time come at last
        For the weakness of age to make way for the young

My sons they have grown and away they have gone
Tae search for black oil in the far northern sea
Like oilmen they walk and like Yankees they talk
There's no' much in common 'tween my sons and me
They've rough rigged on Josephine, Forties and Ninian
Claymore and Dunlin, Fisher and Awk
They've made fortunes for sure for in one run ashore
They spend more than I earned in a whole season's work

        But this day is their day, this way is their way
        Tae ride the rough rigs while their backs are still strong
        But this day will pass and the time come at last
        For the weakness of age to make way for the young

My grandsons are growing, to the school they're soon going
But the lang weeks o' summer they spend here wi' me
We walk through the warm days, talk o' the auld ways
The cornfield and codfish, the land and the sea
We walk through the fields my father once tilled
Talk wi' the old men that once sailed wi' me
Man, it's been awfu' good, I showed them all I could
O' the past and the present, what their future might be

   For the morn will be their day, what will be their way
        What will they make of their land, sea and sky
Man, I've seen awfu' change but it still it seems gie strange
        Tae look at my world through a young laddie's eyes.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: pavane
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 04:37 AM

Bob Dylan, always wanting to be different, wrote one about getting YOUNGER

"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now"
(My Back Pages)

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 11:02 PM

"Rum and Coconut Water" originally "Gin and Coconut Water" by Wilmoth Houdini. "I remember when I was young, I was very robust and strong."

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Bert
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 01:27 AM

Here's a new one of mine.

I wanna have a mid life crisis
but if the truth be told
I can't have a mid life crisis
My wife says I'm too old

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date
I wanna have a mid life crisis
My wife says it's too late
She said
        I coulda had a crisis at Forty
        or even at Fifty Five
        If I'd wanted a mid life crisis
        I should have done it while I'm still alive

I want a pick up truck with monster wheels
I want to be stacked up with sex appeal
I want tatoos on my arms and chest
A Harley and a black leather vest
I want to let my hair grow long
I want to get to Nashville with this song
I want a Cowboy hat and belt and boots
I want a hand tailored white silk suit

I wanna have a mid life crisis
but if the truth be told
I can't have a mid life crisis
My wife says I'm too old

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date
I wanna have a mid life crisis
My wife says it's too late
She said
        I coulda had a crisis at Forty
        or even at Fifty Five
        If I'd wanted a mid life crisis
        I should have done it while I'm still alive

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date

Spoken:
I don't think my wife would go for the blond
But how about a sports car?
a 59 Subeam Alpine in British Racing green

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: reynard
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 08:04 AM

Let's not forget "Maids When you're young never wed an old man", a song of great impotence as it says in here somewhere- but I don't see the words so I'll dig them out later.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 11:02 PM

Sam Baker's WAVES

So many years, so many hardships
So many laughs, so many tears
So many things to remember
'Cause they had 50 years

Now the kids, they got their own kids
Their own kids have grown
She told him not to worry
Say he'd be fine when she was gone

He walks down to the ocean
Bends to touch the water, kneels to pray
Writes her name in sand
Waves wash it away

There are seagulls circling shrimp boats
That turn inside the bay
There's an emptiness inside
That never goes away

He walks down to the ocean
Bends to touch the water, kneels to pray
He writes her name in the sand
Waves wash it away

So many years, so many hardships
So many laughs, so many tears
So many things he cannot remember
'Cause they had 50 years

He walks down to the ocean
Bends to touch kneels to pray
He writes her name in the sand
Waves wash it away
He writes her name in the sand
Waves wash it away

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 11:06 PM

Age Like Wine    Todd Snider

Old timer, Old timer
It's too late to die young now
Old timer, five and dimer
Trying to find a way to age like wine somehow

my new stuff is nothing like my old stuff was
and either one is much when compared to a show
which will not be as good as another one you saw...
so hell me, i know, i
know, i know

I am an old timer, old timer
it's too late to die young now
old timer, five and dimer
trying to find a way to age like wine somehow

I meant every fool that ever signed
their name up on these walls in the backs of these beer halls and concert halls.
I been threw seven managers,
five labels, a thousand picks and patch cables,
three bands, a band, a bunch of guitar stands,
and cans, and cans, and cans of beer, a bottles of boozes and bags of pot,
and a thousand other things that I forgot.

I thought that I be dead by now... but I'm not.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 11:15 PM

I just cut and pasted the Todd Snider song and noticed some errors:

"so hell me, i know, i know, i know" should be "so help me, I know, I know, I know"


"I meant every fool that ever signed" should be "I've met every fool that ever signed"

"I been threw seven managers" should be "I've been through seven managers"

"three bands, a band, a bunch of guitar stands" should be "Three bands and a bunch of guitar stands"

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: reynard
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 04:43 AM

Re Maids when you're young- just found it here:

http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3003&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+mudcat2+%28mudcat.org+RSS+Feed%29

The version I have from Sam Larner is slightly different so here it is anyway:

MAIDS WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG NEVER WED AN OLD MAN

An old man came courting me, hey ding doorum down               
An old man came courting me, hey duram down.
An old man came courting me, fain would he marry me
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

For he's got no faloorum, falliddle ay oorum
For he's got no faloorum, falliddle ol day
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
So maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to the church, hey ding doorum down
When we went to the church, hey duram down.
When we went to the church, he left me in the lurch
Maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to our bed, hey ding doorum dah
Now when we went to our bed, hey duram down.
When we went to our bed, he neither done nor said
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

Now when he went to sleep, hey ding doorum dah
Now when we went to sleep, hey duram down.
When we went to sleep, out of bed I did creep
Into the arms of a jolly young man

And I found his faloorum, falliddle ay oorum
I found his faloorum, falliddle ol day
I found his faloorum, he got my dingdoorum
So maids when you're young never wed an old man.

Alternative ending (Julian Flood)

Now he's got Viagra, hey ding doorum dah,
He's got Viagra, hey duram down;
When he takes Viag-a-ra he comes like Niagara,
Maids when you're young you can wed an old man.

He found his faloorum etc

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Richard from Liverpool
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 10:16 AM

How's about this one? Speaks very clearly of the ravages of old age.

Poor Old Horse
Song performed by mummers in the 'Old Horse' play, recorded particularly in Yorkshire around Derbyshire - it made its way into the cities via printed broadsides

Once I was reared in a stable so warm
To keep my tender limbs free from any pain or harm
There's no such usage now, nor can be found at all
I'm forced to travel on a winter's night through hail or rain or snow
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

My food it was once of the best corn and hay
That grew in all the fields or in the meadows gay
But now I am grown old and scarsely can I crawl
I'm forced to eat the coarsest grass that grows against the wall
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

My clothing was once of the shining superfine
Then I stood in my stable and did in my glory shine
But now I am grown old and nature does decay
My master frowns upon me and this I hear him say
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

"He is old and he is cold, and he is both dull and slow
He has eaten up my hay, and has spoiled all my straw
Nor either is he fit to draw in with my team –
Take him and whip him" is now my master's theme
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

To the huntsman now shall go my old hide and shoes
Likewise my tender carcass the hounds will not refuse
My body that so lately had run so many miles
Over hedges, ditches, brooks and bridges, fences, gates and stiles
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

(I have recorded a rough and ready version of this song to a tune collected in Liverpool by Frank Kidson: http://aliverpoolfolksongaweek.blogspot.com/2011/04/4-poor-old-horse.html )

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 07:16 AM

PEOPLE MY AGE _ John Gorka

People my age
Have started looking gross
I cannot say all
And I shouldn't say most
I've seen 'em in the grocery
I've seen 'em up close
And People my age
Have started looking gross

People my age
Are showing some wear
There's holes where their teeth was
And their heads have gone bare
Their brains are shrinking
Faces sinking into fat
And as for the mirror
We won't be looking into that

People my age
Have started looking gross
Maybe not in Colorado
Or up the Silicon Coast
Back in Pennsylvania
I'd eat scrapple on toast
Those were my first steps
On the road to looking gross

People my age
Are looking overripe
Some are getting operations
To tighten up what ain't tight
What gravity's ruined
They try to fix with a knife
What's pleasant in the darkness
Is plain scary in the light

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,LynnH
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 04:04 AM

To the tune of "The Sailors Alphabet", Verses: Mike Boydon, chorus: Lynn Wise.

The Oldsters (Oldies) Alphabet

A's for arthritis, B's the bad back
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line
CHORUS: Merrily, merrily, so merry go we
       Zimmer Frames and rollators they make our way fre               
       Dementia, infirmity, what e'er comes along
       Give us oldsters (oldies)our tablets and nothing goes wrong!

F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention
H is high blood pressure, I'd rather it low
I for incisions with scars you can show

J is for joints out of socket, won't mend
K is for knees that crack when they bend
L is libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears
T for tinnitus, there's bells in my ears

U is for urinary, big troubles with flow
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy' you know
W is for worry, NOW what's going round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found

Y is another year I'm left here behind
Z is for zest that I still have - in my mind
Z is also for zonked, how I feel all the time
So now I have brought all the letters in rhyme

I've survived all the symptoms my body's deployed
And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed
May your troubles be less, your bleesings be more
And nothing but happiness come through your door.


Mike Boydon is in his mid-eighties so I assume he's written this from experience! Mike calls it 'Oldsters Alphabet', but 'Oldies' is a bit easier to sing.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 06:03 AM

Desperados Waiting For A Train

Guy Clark.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: oldhippie
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 11:51 AM

When I'm 64
The Remember Song - Tom Rush

Subject: Lyr Add: I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 11:19 AM

I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE
Words by Alan Jay Lerner, music by Frederick Loewe.
From the film "Gigi" (1958)
As recorded by Maurice Chevalier

Poor boy, poor boy!
Downhearted and depressed and in a spin—
Poor boy, poor boy!
Oh, youth can really do a fellow in.

How lovely to sit here in the shade
With none of the woes of man and maid!
I'm glad I'm not young anymore.
The rivals that don't exist at all,
The feeling you're only two feet tall—
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore.
No more confusion; no morning-after surprise,
No self-delusion that when you're telling those lies
She isn't wise;
And even if love comes through the door,
The kind that goes on forevermore,
Forevermore is shorter than before.
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore!

The tiny remark that tortures you,
The fear that your friends won't like her too—
I'm glad I'm not young anymore.
The longing to end the stale affair
Until you find out she doesn't care—
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore.
No more frustration; no star-crossed lover am I.
No aggravation, just one reluctant reply:
"Lady, goodbye!"
The fountain of youth is dull as paint.
Methuselah is my patron saint.
I've never been so comfortable before.
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore!

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 12:00 PM

'Nee Bliddy Good gettin aad' by Ed Pickford- Sunderland song which doesn't translate to southern parts very well, although I believe Geordie Murison of Stonehaven is doing it now...

- if you want the words, check Ed's website & I can be found singing it on Youtube if you don't have the dots!

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Pseudonymous
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 01:25 PM

Re the OP on this thread.

Ice for piles? Never thought of that. Cheers!

At what age does it become utterly inappropriate to sing 'Teenage Kicks'? is another good question.

Pseu

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 02:11 AM

Surely one of the most sensitive traditional songs about getting old is the 'drunken daft" You mariners All

And when I'm old and can scarcely crawl,
I've an old grey beard and a head that's bald
Crowwn my desire and fulfil my wish;
A pretty young girl and a jug of this

Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:10 AM

Grown Up Now

Hey look, mum, I can do a stand up wee
Hey I’m really grown up now
No more nappies or sitting on the potty,
Hey I’m really grown up now
From small acorns big oak trees grow
And a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
So I’m off to write my name in the snow
The boy has become the man.

Hey mum, I can ride my bike
Hey I’m really grown up now
Tall in the saddle sort of John Wayne Like
Hey I’m really grown up now
Look mum, no hands can you believe ?
I fly through the air with the greatest of ease
“Bang” hey look,mum, no front teeth
The boy has become the man

Yesterday I used the f-word
Hey I’m really grown up now
And one or two other ones that I’ve heard
Hey I’m really grown up now
And very soon I’ll say a few more
Though I wouldn’t actually say that I swore
More like it fell down my trouser leg onto the floor
But the boy has become the man

Now I’m sixteen and ready to ride,
Hey I’m really grown up now
On my brand new Yamaha, my gleaming pride
Hey I’m really grown up now
Provisional licence and off we go
Though I didn’t see that patch of oil on the road
Three broken ribs are what I have to show
But the boy has become the man

Today I drank 15 pints of lager
Hey I’m really grown up now
You can probably guess the rest of the saga
Hey I’m really grown up now
We’ll all agree it was an absolute cert
That I’d bump into me mates Hughie and Bert
Technicolour yawn, my head don’t half hurt
But the boy has become the man

Today I kissed Tracey and we used tongues
Hey I’m really grown up now
And I had to hide the love bites from me mum
Hey I’m really grown up now
Three months later and we’ve gone all the way
Though it didn’t last very long I’m bound to say
But I’m gonna tell me mates it lasted all day
The boy has become the man

Me wedding was a piss up we were drunk as rats
Hey I’m really grown up now
And now we’ve spawned three revolting brats
Hey I’m really grown up now
I suppose you could say it was written in the stars
I’d end up selling insurance or second hand cars
Or something where you need to talk out of your arse
Yes the boy has become the man.

Now my mid life crisis has definitely arrived
Hey I’m really grown up now
And I’m entitled to my little bit on the side
Hey I’m really grown up now
The missus got headaches and a great big bum
Took her Brian Ferry albums and headed for the sun
Now the CSA are after five figure sum
Yes, the boy has become the man

Now I’m fiftysomething with a new lease of life
Hey I’m really grown up now
So I’ve gone out and bought a Yamaha motorbike
Hey I’m really grown up now
I’ll relive my youth, give her full welly
With a pair of tight leathers to hold in my belly
Do I feel a pratt? no not on your nelly
For the boy has become the man

Now I’ve drawn me pension and I walk with a stick
Hey I’m really grown up now
Into second childhood I slowly drift
Hey I’m really grown up now
Senility rules , incontinence is bliss
Moaning all the time, just a grumpy old git
Maybe if I reach 100 I may well yet
See the child become the man

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:34 AM

Eastbourne Viagara Blues

(Sung as fastish 12 bar)

Well, I woke up this morning,
With a twinkle in my eye,
Well I woke up this morning, spring in my step, glad to be alive,
Though I was 92 last week, doctor gave me these pills
Which made me feel like I’m 25.

No more afternoon naps now, Doris
No more gentle strolls along the prom.
No more moaning about the price of things,
No more playing bowls from this moment on,
Cos I’m a testosterone fuelled rocket
Ugh!!!I’m a sex machine so turn me on

Gonna head on down to Eastbourne ,Doris,
Like that Bionic Man , I’ve been remade
Gonna head on down to Eastbourne, Doris,
Where everyone is 80 in the shade,
Though they call it the Costa Geriatrica, those passionkiller Marks and Spencers knickers ain’t gonna stop me getting my wicked way!

No more of them toasted teacakes
Wave goodbye to those buttered “scewnes”,
No more of them toasted teacakes now,
Say goodbye to those buttered “scewnes”,
(that’s how they say ‘scones’ in Eastbourne)
No more delicate bone china teacups,
Gonna spew up my 15 pints of rotweiler lager in the road.

Gonna throw way that zimmerframe, babe
I think I’m seeing red
I’m gonna listen to that sound of shattering glass
Gonna kick in someone’s head
‘Cos I shot a man in Brighton,
‘Cos he wouldn’t speak up so I could hear what he said..


Won’t you squeeze my teabag,
Till the juice runs down my chins,
Squeeze my teabag
Till that juice runs all down my chins,
Got that lead back in my pencil
And that zing back in my dingaling

Because my doctor’s given me these pills, now
Feel like I’m born again,
My doctor’s given me this Viagra pills,
Old John Thomas will rise again,
(ooh I say…)
So I’m off on my club 85/100 holiday,
Silver shaggers here we come.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:39 AM

Menopausal Men with Expensive Guitars

1.        He turned 55 with great expectations
His lady wife knew that he was hatching a scheme
Caught him playing air guitar with a tennis racket
Retired accountant gonna live the dream

He begged and he pleaded til she finally relented
Drove his car down to that music store
That top of the range Taylor was just the beginning
Now he’s got the bug and he just wants more

Menopausal Men (What’s the world coming to?)
Expensive Guitars( Gibson Takamine)
Menopausal men (it’s becoming an obsession)
Expensive guitars (where will it all end?)
See them everywhere in all the cafes and bars
Those Menopausal men with expensive guitars)

2.        Every night you’ll find him down the open mike,
With a poser hat and a pair of cool shades
Squinting at a tuner, running through the chords,
Waiting for his turn to get up on that stage

Wound up tightly like a coiled spring,
Soon he’ll be knocking on heaven’s door.
Words on a music stand in a big font,
‘Headin down the highway with his geetar.’

Menopausal Men (at least it keeps him out of mischief)
Expensive Guitars (howling down the mike)
Menopausal men (now he wants another one)
Expensive guitars((keeps him off the motorbike )
See them everywhere those budding suprerstars
Those Menopausal men with expensive guitars)

He badgered he pestered and got his first gig,
First step on the ladder to making it big
Now he’s thinking Glastonbury try hard to humour him
The new Bob Dylan, Neil Young or Leonard Cohen


3.        He’s written a song about a failed relationship
Guitars hanging up on every spare bit of wall
Combat trousers with 28 pockets
You’ve got to look the part if you want to walk tall.

Dashing from one open mike to the other
Popping up here, there and everywhere
Gets one of his mates to record it on his smartphone
Puts it on facebook for the world to share.


Menopausal Men (kids pretend they don’t know him)
Expensive Guitars (so cool and hip)
Menopausal men (now he wants a Lowden)
Expensive guitars((on an ego trip)
A wild desperado with a bus pass
Those Menopausal men with expensive guitars)


Menopausal Men (now he’s doing wagon wheel)
Expensive Guitars (too old for learning words)
Menopausal Men (Not bloody “Halleluyah”)
Expensive guitars (can he have more reverb)
It’s about time they were put out to grass
Those menopausal men with expensive guitars.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 05:33 AM

and finally it's Tom...

The Green Green Grass of Home

1.The old crowd looks the same, as I step out on the stage.
And there’s the roar of the same old fans to greet me,
Oh it’s Alice, Doris, Lily and Mary,
Skin a little wrinkly and chins a little hairy
They’ve all been put out to the green, green grass of home.

2. When they were maidens young and fair, they used to throw their underwear,
Upon the stage where I would strut my stuff so boldly
Now it’s only ladies of a certain age, who still try to throw their knickers on the stage,
But they’ve been put out to the green green grass of home

And those knickers hot and sweaty, they rained down like confetti,
And landed on the green green grass of home.

3. I used to use those knickers as a towel to wipe the sweat from off my brow,
And throw them back to the sound of all that screaming,
But nowadays I’m not so keen, because, after all, you don’t know where they’ve been,
It’s so sad to think of that green green grass of home.

4.Well you wouldn’t hear me complain, when those knickers fell like rain,
Though one or two had probably been weed in,
But nowadays before they start throwing , they’ve probably wet themselves without even knowing,
They’re out to graze on the green, green grass of home.

And those knickers hot and sweaty, they rained down like confetti,
And landed on the green green grass of home.

3. These days I move a little slower, my voice a little lower,
But as we all know things drop as we get older,
Some of those knickers won’t reach me, this I know,
They’ll only get as far as the second row,
And land there on the green green grass of home.

6. Oh, just like these ladies her, these are my twilight years,
And I suppose I’d better enjoy the time remaining
And no use pretending , though it’s sad,
Look out, here comes an incontinence pad,
It’s a health and safety issue on the green, green grass of home.


And those knickers hot and sweaty, they rained down like confetti,
As I sang of the green green grass of home.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Stanron
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 05:38 AM

How about this

Medication Blues
To the tune of Hesitation Blues

Doctor told me, hope it's a lie
You'll never get better till the day you die.

CHORUS Tell me how long do I have to wait?
Am I all right now or should I medicate?

Three pills in the morning, Two at night,
Another calms me down in case I don't get it right,

A capsule is a capsule, a pill is a pill
If complacency don't get me then anxiety will

I don't like the red ones, I don't like the blue (Double take at the audience)
I'm not so sure I like the look of you

I'm standing on the corner, I'm just not sure,
Am I looking for a lover, a dealer or a cure?

Friends come round, so they say
Just wanna get high on my Nitro spray

The Altzeimer verse (apologies for any offense)

Standing in the kitchen (Parlour, Rest room, Diner, stair well, bar room, etc) looking at the floor,
Just can't remember what I came here for.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 08:22 AM

Charlie Poole's 'Old and Grey & only in the way' would suit

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 08:50 AM

Can anybody remember the beautiful American song sung by a protest singer (now dead) who used to contribute to thus forum "They say that I'm All done up... washed up...
Would very much appreciate hearing it again
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Pseudonymous
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 08:56 AM

The other day I saw a young man of about 25 singing a self-penned story about how he wished he were still young. 'Hardly out of short trousers' was my comment. Then I was told that nowadays they don't do that short trousers into long trousers thing any more.

Menopausal men with expensive guitars. Owch! Too near the knuckle to attempt in public. Nicely observed. Ear-ring in one ear as another detail?

What about

They think they look sexy with the new guitar
But a mere phallic symbol won't get them far.
When it comes down to it, their ding-a-ling
Is in deep need of a set of new strings.

Love the Hesitation Blues!

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:15 PM

Re the young man of 25 - remember this old classic:--


Barry Mann - Teenage Has-Been

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:38 PM

A couple that the late Iain Mackintosh used to sing:
Waltzing around in the Nude, and
(Can't remember the title) a song that started at death, then worked back through old age, pension age, middle age, young married, pre-married, teenage years, boyhood, babyhood and finally back in mother's womb!

Ian McCalman has one about being reasonably accepting of reaching sixty.

And, Jim Carroll, is the "All Used Up" song way up the thread, Feb 01, the one you want? Very powerful song. The late John Wright also sang it.

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Peter the Squeezer
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:41 PM

This from Paddy Roberts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cizeuckgJYg

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:53 PM

This one
Jim Carroll

ALL USED UP

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:24 PM

By implication, Bonnie Bessie Logan... "ower young for me"...

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 06:10 PM

We seem to have missed good old Tom Lehrer's "When You Are Old and Gray".

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 06:25 PM

How could I have forgotten this one!!

From Burns's 'Merry Muses of Caledonia
Jim Carroll

WAD YE DAE THAT?
Gudewife, when your gudeman’s frae hame,
Micht I but be sae bauld,
As come to your bed-chaumer,
When winter nichts are cauld;
As come to your bed-chaumer,
When nichts are cauld an wat,
An lie in your gudeman’s steed,
Wad ye dae that?

Young man, an ye should be sae kind,
When oor gudeman’s frae hame,
As come to my bed-chaumer,
Where I am laid my lane;
An lie in oor gudeman’s steed,
I will tell you what,
He fucks me five times ilka nicht,
Wad ye dae that?

Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 06:41 PM

Jim, yes, that's the song, All Used Up: glad you found it.

The un-named one I mentioned that Iain Mackintosh used to sing is called "Run the Film Backwards" and is also here on YouTube:
Run the Film Backwards

And here is:
"Pleasantly Pleased to be Sixty" by Ian McCalman

I am pleasantly pleased to be sixty
Astounded that I've lived so long
I had a great time till I reached fifty-nine
I thought that was it, but I'm wrong
It's not at all bad to be sixty
And frankly I'm doing OK
Apart from the sight in my mirror at night
There are no other signs of decay
Delighted to wake up each day

I accept all the gifts l I'm given
My heating, my bus pass and all
I really don't care, but if it is there
I'll take it no matter how small
I can be just as ill as I want to
And Google my symptoms with glee
I can do a sore back or a mild heart attack
Or die, if I want to, for free

It's my job to annoy younger people
Like, "How old do you think I am?"
They tell me I'm mad and I tell them they're bad
But frankly I don't give a damn
And I never drive above 30
No matter the limits or signs
It's amazing how slow my Toyota can go
With an angry Mercedes behind
Sometimes it's cruel to be kind

I am pleasantly pleased to be sixty
I'm far from the end of the line
There's so much to do and there's so much to do
And I'll do it, 'cause I have the time
It's not at all bad being sixty
But one thing is bothering me
My memory's gone and I can't finish songs..................