BS: Female Orgasm by remote control

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:16 PM

the bone that separates the nostrils is the 'vomer'....

and that little depression under your nostrils in the middle of the upper lip is the 'filtrum'

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:10 PM

Alex, that's called the septum too.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:38 PM

I thought the septum was that thing that separates your nostrils? Which wouldn't be a part of the brain at all.

S, you need a new hobby.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:35 PM

This DOES lead to music. Come on, tell-- how many of you couples make up songs, in bed, afterwards? Parodies on whatever happened that day?

Therefore to balance the woman's ass, there should be an implant for the other cheek with a record function to capture the vocalizations and after-songs.

Thats' why we differ from rats. They don't care about the songs at all.

Is this why the neighbors' garage door keeps going up and down all night long?!?!?! I thought science had solved that signal leakage problem. Oh yeah.

And what happens if you push what should be your wife's button, but your neighbor's wife comes? Is that considered cheating? "Honey, I SWEAR that was just signal leakage!" "Yeah right, I'm sure it was just your signal that was leaking all over the place...."

Didja hear about the Olympic athlete? She thought it was a stopwatch, but when her coach pressed the button, she came running.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:12 PM

Bill D said:

"...seems to me I remember an article about rats having electrodes implanted in the area of the brain that was linked to sexual response, and had a lever to press for a little 'zap'....turns out they would refuse food in favor of incessant orgasms... "

That's it! Market this thing as the ultimate weight-losing device!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:10 PM

No..the rats. The septum is the pleasure center of the brain, just as the amygdala is the anger center.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:07 PM

Now, if the rat happened to be an atheist, and you could understand "ratese"...would he or she be chittering:

Oh! Scientific method!!!

Oh! Logic!!!

Oh! Materialsim!!!

Oh! Experimental Analysis!!!

Oh! Rational pragmatism!!!

And so on, until his little rodent synapses fried, and he keeled over and died...another victim of the relentless march of modern science, which has found the time to do totally ignoble and expensive things that most previous civilizations would probably not have wasted their time on in the first place...hopefully.

Stealth bomber, anyone? Where's the remote? Oh, Congressional bipartisan committee!!! Ohhhh!!!!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:04 PM

Wait a minute! I think we have finally found the ultimate diet guaranteed to work with no lingering cravings. Now for the supplements!

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:03 PM

The ladies, Matt? Or the mice?

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:56 PM

Yep Bill, they attached it to their septum.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:43 PM

...seems to me I remember an article about rats having electrodes implanted in the area of the brain that was linked to sexual response, and had a lever to press for a little 'zap'....turns out they would refuse food in favor of incessant orgasms...

DO take care, ladies...(and please remember the difference between bio-electrical response and emotional satisfaction...I DO love seeing the smile that goes with the latter...)

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:38 PM

Yeah, right. Any women who gets a surgical implant the size of a cigarette package put in one of her buttocks is probably so stupid that she wouldn't recognize an orgasm if she did have one. Orgasms are wasted on such people, as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand, it would be fun activating the damn thing when she's in the checkout line at the grocery, I suppose...

How about a brain implant that creates the illusion that everything is wonderful all the time, and that all one's needs can be met by simply going out to the mall and buying more stuff?

I bet there'd be a lot of funding available to research and market that one...

How about another one that makes everyone go out and vote for a member of the Bush family (a male member, needless to say...) in each succeeding American presidential election from here to eternity?

I'd better shut up right now.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:36 PM

Spaw, go home.

Ah, yes, Carol, I remember that thread.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:28 PM

Believe it or not Dani, Ol' Spaw DOES have a life outside of this joint!! LOL

This is all much ado about nothing because the FDA is already being pressured by the American Cancer Society to keep this product off the market. Their argument is that the implant will contribute to already high cancer rates in women through increased orgasms. This product will give women the chance to have an orgasm anytime, hence increasing their tobacco consumption.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Pseudolus
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:13 PM

You CAN share this. Just think, if I held the remote while my lovely wife and I are sharing a "moment", then just as I'm about to finish my trip down romance lane, I hit the remote!! The timing would always be perfect, and just think of all the extra time you'll have to watch TV, read a book, talk...... ;)

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:11 PM

If you're serious and you don't remember, go look at my old "Beethoven's Birthday" thread. (Just wondering... ;-)

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:09 PM

What good is anything if you can't share it with someone?

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:06 PM

Carol, I don't understand why you ask that.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Gypsy
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:54 PM

Where do i sign up? Tough job, but certain you need volunteers ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:52 PM

So mousethief, did the groundhog see it's shadow this year?

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:33 PM

Nicely done, Dharmabum!

This implant is just another step down the path that will lead to us all living inside our glass bubbles, never coming in physical contact with another human being. See I Robot.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Matt_R
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:57 PM

Hehehehehehehe this WOULD have to happen in North Carolina!

Oh my God, King Brilliant...you're a one in a million! You just the kind of woman that raving foot-lovers like me search everywhere for! Mmmphhhh...must resist!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Dani
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:55 PM

Do you think this might finally have done the ol' 'Spaw in? Because I am not believing that he's not here yet. I know there's a reason...

And secondly, I happened upon a quote yesterday that I THOUGHT was about eating, but now I see that it was not...

"Food without hospitality is merely medicine"

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:54 PM

Wow, Guest BS is Right,

Did you get a rule book when you joined the Mudcat? I didn't get a rule book. How come I didn't get a rule book?

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Dharmabum
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:51 PM

There once was a comely young lass
Who's orgasms just seem to pass
She took drastic measures
To obtain inner pleasures
By implanting a remote in her ass.

Now she loves all it'll give'er
A push button away from a quiver
And the TV remote
Makes her smile & gloat
And the microwave just makes her shiver.

But one day the batteries went dead
Now she's left with her hubby instead
And it made her think twice
How it's really quite nice
To make beautiful music in bed.

DB.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Art Thieme
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:50 PM

One in te hand is worth two of George Bush !

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:44 PM

If you think sex is tasteless, you're not doing it right.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Pseudolus
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:42 PM

And another comment that this should be a music thread and it's tasteless sent to us by.....uh...wait a minute, oh that's right!! They didn't sign their name surprise!! Besides that, if you've helped in any way to bring a woman to an orgasm, even if it's at the press of a button, haven't you made beautiful music together????

Frank

P.S. Sorry, it's been a long day and an attack at the nameless seemed to be in order.....

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST,BS is right
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:14 PM

PUHLEEEEEESE. The mudcat, tho there are beautiful exceptions like the caring notes to the 'catter who wants to help a friend, is for MUSIC. Even the BS threads should in general be about music, and the thread titles family rated :) My humble opinion. I have opinions about the topic of the thread as well, but won't prolong the tastelessness.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Justa Picker
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:09 PM

So much for foreplay. Comes down to just whistle if and when you want me. (In the meantime I'll go and re-string a guitar.)

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:14 PM

Isn't getting there at least half the fun?

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:06 PM

Orgasm at the press of a button......am I the only one that already gets that?????

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Lox
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:03 PM

Oh yeah, I forgot, I don't mind letting the woman use it either. I've given up fighting.;)

lox

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Lox
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:02 PM

I've had an organic (orgasmic) version for years now, so I'm not really too impressed I'm afraid - sorry.

It's comfy in the palm of the hand too ;)

lox

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:01 PM

Fibula- and combinations of the above??

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: RichM
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:56 PM

Fibula mentioned chocolate...yum...

...Even if you dispute that it's an aphrodisiac, any excuse to comsume chocolate is valid!

Damn...I have NO chocolate in the house, there's freezing rain outside, and I have to drive to the dentist soon.
Maybe I'll stop for chocolate first...may as well keep my dentist in business.

Rich

Rich

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:46 PM

Hmmm, good idea Noreen, we could try:

1. No stimulation
2. Electronic box
3. Manual
4. The insert-flap-A-into-slot-B normal Friday evening shenanigans
5. The Russell-Crowe-in-his-Gladiator-outfit fantasy aspect
6. The aphrodisical affects of a half bottle of Smirnoff
7. Chocolate.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:40 PM

ROTFLMAO!

Thanks, Wolfgang. Well, to design the experiment: Control groups: .

1. No stimulation
2. Electronic box.
3. ?4.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:36 PM

Wow, Tom Swift and his electric dildoe has returned.

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Pseudolus
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:27 PM

So ladies, for a real good time, replace the TV remote with this new remote but don't tell the man in your life. Cause you know it'll be HOURS before any of us think to actually stand up and change the channel. we'll just keep pressing this one harder and harder.......

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: InOBU
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:26 PM

Well, the first danger that comes to mind concerns remote control bombs in Ireland. England began to transmit up and down the frequency spectrum to trigger any bombs being placed. Now, should this thing catch on, and say, become common in some war zone where remote bombs were being scaned for... well, I just cant emagine walking down the street in such a place!
Srcatching his head in wonder!
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:20 PM

Awww, Rich wants to press the magic button!

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: RichM
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:19 PM

Wait, wait: it's obvious that men should be in charge of the remote--due to our fascination -and vast experience- with the TV remote!

So girls, hand it over... ;)

Rich

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:18 PM

Brilliant thread proximity!!!! This thread is immediately followed by the plaintive cry of
"do I need a vibrator"

Ooops, me sides've split.

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:14 PM

Come on Patrish - I've revealed my foot control. Surely you can tell us whatever it was. Go on we won't tell nobody.....

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:10 PM

I have just deleted what I originally wrote here
Patrish
PS I read it, and realised everyone else would too!!
PPS It was about remote controls!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: Wolfgang
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:10 PM

sole-to-sole massages?

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:03 PM

Naw, don't need no wires. Use soul-to-soul messaging instead. See me privately for details.

~Happy in PA

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:59 AM

I already have a remote control, on the soles of my feet. Anyone else have that? - it makes walking across gravel a really weird experience.

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:38 AM

there was a recent story about the guy who had the worlds first hand transplant, the body rejected the hand.. Now its one thing to be rejected by women, but when your own hand rejects you...