Song Challenge! Part 49

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 05 Sep 01 - 09:47 AM

This one's very short ... but I think it says it all. To the tune of "The Glendalough Saint"

I pity the poor Japanese
They prosper, but Jaysus knows how
The Yanks have nuked the poor buggers
And the Russians bombard them with cows!
Sing fol-da-lol fol-da-lol la, etc.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: granny
Date: 03 Mar 01 - 07:59 AM

Oops -- I forgot the line breaks, but, I think you can figure it out!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: granny
Date: 03 Mar 01 - 07:58 AM

DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN (TO YOU)

Cows are the best of the bestial That bellow below the celestial Where, usually, fish do the flying (For bovine, it is a bit trying)

The meatiest meteor ever Shot out of the sky and did sever A seafaring Japanese craft; Not funny -- and nobody laughed.

The Bible says anger's improper; Show Bossie (if no one can stop her) A look of compassion -- not wrath; When possible, clear the cow's path.

Like anger at sundown, your beef Should not hit a vessel or reef; While rafting, if cows hit your station, Examine your heart's motivation...

Chorus: Letting a cow hit your raft Is like letting the sun -- go down on your wrath *Be angry and sin not* -- these words are from God. (I suppose you may smile and nod.) ______________________

Scripture basis: Ephesians 4:26. The word is'wrath,' but, a lot of us kids always thought it says 'raft.'

by: granny

The first two lines I wrote a while ago and I've had them on my website for a while. They were the starting point.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Barbara
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 10:59 PM

FYI, if you're not done, the Japanese word for cow is "ushi".
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 05:52 PM

Better late than never, mousethief! It's great to see you posting after your exciting past couple of days! Now you can clutch yet another Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon to your chest the next time you feel 'shaky' *BG*

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: mousethief
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 05:32 PM

I've got this sinking feeling
tune: you've lost that lovin' feeling

You never see a cow
Falling out of an empty sky
And when you finally do,
Should you laugh or should you cry?
With the whole ocean and more, heck! (baby)
Why did it fall on, fall on our foredeck?

I've got this sinking feeling
Oh, this sinking feeling
I've got this sinking feeling
From a goddammed cow
Falling through our bow
Whoa-oa-oh.

When we left port this week,
We never guessed that we'd be cowed
By stupid Russian guys
Smuggling beef that was not allowed
I've got a bone to pick with Russia (baby)
Their export policies -- they can sure crush ya!

(repeat Chorus)

Russia, Russia, I'm in the hokey 'cos of you
We got hit by a milk-cow, I swear it's true!
It makes me just feel defeated (baby)
All that beefsteak, and we couldn't even eat it!

(repeat Chorus)

Copyright c 2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 08:10 AM

Dear Challenge!rs,

Sorry it took me so long to award the Cow Chips this time -- I'm still catching up with emails, PMs, and of course, the new Storytellers' Page in the Songbook.

So, here ya go -- Congrats, cudos and thanks to all of you intrepid Challenge!rs who chose to 'run with the bull' on this one ;-) And somehow, the Golden Cow Chip seemed, oh, I dunno, just so appropos as an award this time . . . Stay tuned for the next Challenge! coming soon!

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):
Cows Can't Fly by Gray Rooster
Hamburger in the Sky by Trapper
It's Raining Beef! by MMario

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):
A Cowardly Act by Roll&Go-C
The Bovine Bomber by Hawker
The Kamikaze Cow by Lonesome EJ
Oh Dear, Hereford Kamikaze by Scotsbard

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):
Americow Pie by Dharmabum
Comin' In On a Hoof and a Prayer by Pseudolus
Sukiyaki?? by Clifton53

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 25 Feb 01 - 11:22 AM

Ah shoot, we can't be finished already with this one -- I just know there's a couple more lovely ditties bubbling up in you all. Haven't seen anything from mousethief yet . . . Come on, I know you can do it! ;-)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 11:54 AM

The clouds parted and the sleepy goddess opened her eyes and said, "What's all this, then? Talent flowing like heated honey from my monitor -- oh, the joy! And where's me scones and butter?"

Here are the well-deserved Silver B.L.O.B.s for some excellent lines of verse:

To Gray Rooster for:
It happened to me and my mates in 97 or 98
But good things come out of horrible fate
We went into the ruminate steak.

To Hawker for (the all-too-appropos):
The Bovine Bomber's overhead, what's that! Oh HOLY COW!
That flying, mooing milk churn has struck our starboard bow!
One of us was stricken speechless - but none of us are dead
And poor old Lee Chin's stricken worst....A pat upon the head!!!

To Clifton53 (and a big 'I'm glad to be back' snog) for:
And every one of us
Locked in jail ail ail
Hoshi-ho, no one here
Will believe this tale
Big russian bird, drop heifer here
Nothing left to do but bail.

To Pseudolus (and a snog for using 'hoof & a prayer'!) for:
Believe it or not I was just in a plane
I never thought I could fall so fast,
I'm comin in on a hoof and a prayer,
I'll never last, Believe it or not I just crashed…

To my darlin' Dharmabum for:
Imagine my surprise
When I saw the friendly skies
I tried to run,I tried to flee
But Bossie's headed right for me
This may cause my fatality
The day the heifer flied.

To Scotsbard (this one cracked me up!) for:
The Captain, Miyagi, who never his bib did doff,
hurled his tempura at them and was heard to scoff;
"Luskies should keep that damn beef and make stloganoff,
Cow fell on us flom thin air!"

Wow! It's a good thing these little pinkies are back to normal -- you guys are fantastically creative!

-- Áine

(Agus do mo chara chóir, McGrath -- Go raibh míle maith agat as d'fháilte chomh chardúil. Tá an-áthas orm a bheith le mo chairde arís, muise!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 10:49 AM

It's morning again and I must confess I've been musing over this great song challenge. Remember how after the Russians sent up the first Sputnik, they soon followed with dogs in orbit, and we followed with chimps, and I seem to remember that they responded with several cows, another first as I recall, the first herd shot around the world! Just maybe, it was one of those cows that finally splashed down on the Japanese trawler. Someone who cares should forward this thread to the authorities concerned, and Dave Barry.

Good day.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 08:14 PM

I am cowed in admiration. Áine - your return to the Cat has clearly had a remarkable impact.

Hey diddle diddle, where the Cat's in the griddle, the cow fell out of the plane. I couldn't not laugh to see those songs, now Áine is with us again.

(That's not a Song Challenge entry - more of a welcome back.)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Scotsbard
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 08:03 PM

darn htmhell ... chorus is only first 4 lines

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Scotsbard
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 08:01 PM

Oh Dear, Herford Kamikaze

(Chorus)
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven wet fishermen plucked from the Japan Sea,
claiming they'd sunk due to bovine catastrophy;
"Cow fell on us from thin air."

The first soggy sailor was boson Kajimi,
with his friend Kojo had just brewed a pot of tea,
found that their lunch would include beef sashimi;
A cow fell on them from thin air.

The twin netmen Naji and Noji each had a dish,
catfish and dogfish they'd caught with a lucky swish,
but they never thought that they'd haul in a cowfish
'Till cow fell on them from thin air.

(Chorus)

The engineer Kushiwa asked if the the sushi's done,
bowman Nokuma spied something right in the sun:
"A bird, a plane or maybe Gozilla-san"
Then cow fell on them from thin air.

The Captain, Miyagi, who never his bib did doff,
hurled his tempura at them and was heard to scoff;
"Luskies should keep that damn beef and make stloganoff,
Cow fell on us flom thin air!"

(Chorus)

The tune should be obvious, sorry 'bout the loose scansion ...

~S~

line breaks fixed by mudelf

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Dharmabum
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 06:48 PM

Thanks R&G.

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 06:30 PM

DB,simply bovine! The puns in this thread remind me of the days when my brother and I used to make up verses to "Pass the other Udder over to me Other Brother" while we was doing the farm chores.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Dharmabum
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 04:49 PM

AMERICOW PIE
(sung to,you guessed it, American Pie by Don McLean)

Long Long time ago
I can still remember
When livestock didn't fly
But I knew if they got airborne
That all mankind should be warned
Bout' pigs & cows flying overhead
They pose a danger to our species
We could get hit with flying feces
Imagine my surprise
When I saw the friendly skies
I tried to run,I tried to flee
But Bossie's headed right for me
This may cause my fatality
The day the heifer flied.

(chorus) So bye bye miss americow pie
Now I'm floating in the ocean
And I wish I was dry
The Russians sent a bovine
Sailing outta the sky
& I hope this ain't the day that I die
I hope this ain't the day that I die.

We fishermen are a hearty crew
We've done it all & seen a thing or two
But this one took us by surprise
I was standing there fishing off the bow
When I looked up & saw a flying cow
I could hardly believe my eyes
So come on Chin be nimble Chin be fast
Or this day might just be your last
Ol' Bossie hit the deck
Turned that trawler to a wreck
I saw that boat sink to the reef
When it was hit by that ton of beef
As I watched in disbelief
The day that heifer flied.

(chorus)

We got locked up in the hoosegow
When we told the cops of our flying cow
They just smiled & turned away
"We are doomed",I was afraid
For the "surf & turf" that we had made
But the judge said that the Russians had confessed
Then in the streets I heard the scream
And from the sky fell sour cream
Then we all had to laugh
When it rained half & half
Now there's two things that I fear the most
That's Russian planes & Bossies ghost
I'm heading inland from the coast
Now ...that...heifers....fly

(chorus) So bye bye miss americow pie
I'm floating in the ocean
And I wish I was dry
The Russians sent a bovine
Sailing outta the sky
And I hope this ain't the day that I die
I hope this ain't the day that I die.

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Pseudolus
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 01:26 PM

sung to the tune of "The Greatest American Hero" theme song....From the cow's perspective.... :)

Look at what's happened to me
I can't believe it myself
Suddenly I am way up in the air
Falling out of a Japanese Stealth

Believe it or not I was just in a plane
I never thought I could fall so fast,
I'm comin in on a hoof and a prayer,
I'll never last, Believe it or not I just crashed…

Just made a hole in this boat
Now it is sinking right down
Don't think the boss will understand this
Even with all the free ground round

Believe it or not I was just in a plane
I never thought I could fall so fast,
I'm comin in on a hoof and a prayer,
I'll never last, Believe it or not I just crashed…

Frank

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Trapper
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 12:10 PM

Clifton-

Good one! I was thinking of that tune yesterday too before Ghost Riders came to me. Very funny!

- Al

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Clifton53
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:16 AM

Sukiyaki??

Oh look up in the sky,
Holy cow how how
Hoshi-ho, big bovine
Right across our bow
Swim for your lives, no time to waste
This boat is gonna sink right now.

And every one of us
Locked in jail ail ail
Hoshi-ho, no one here
Will believe this tale
Big russian bird, drop heifer here
Nothing left to do but bail.

What would the warlords think?
Tojo too hoo hoo
Hoshi-ho, samurai,
Nothing they could do.
Russians fess up, now we are free
Story now sounds very true.

Welcome back Aine!!! Clifton53

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Hawker
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 04:47 PM

OOH Er what happened the first time!!!! - perhaps that's the theme for the next song challenge!!!! Lucy

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Hawker
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 04:45 PM

THE BOVINE BOMBER

In early ninety seven we trawled the Eastern seas
Hoping for a heavy catch and welcoming the breeze
Our lives were interrupted by an incident most rare
The details of this sorry tale my friends, with you I'll share.

CHORUS:
The Bovine Bomber's overhead, what's that! Oh HOLY COW!
That flying, mooing milk churn has struck our starboard bow!
One of us was stricken speechless - but none of us are dead
And poor old Lee Chin's stricken worst....A pat upon the head!!!

Our lives, we thought were ended but help was close at hand
We all were plucked to safety and returned unto dry land
But our sorrow wasn't over - for when we told our tale
They laughed right in our faces and they slammed us in the jail!

CHORUS

We begged and we protestedthat they really ought to hear
How a flying cow had blasted us and caused us so much fear
It was only some weeks later that those bombers did come clean
About a stolen cow they'd hidden in their Russian flight machine

CHORUS

They stole it in Siberia then launched into the air
Which caused the cow to rant and rage as it got quite a scare
The Russian crew - in spirits high - on Vodka I don't doubt
Had a mad cow upon their plane - they HAD to let it out!

CHORUS

So if you go a fishing in the seas around Japan
Keep your eyes raised to the heavens - look for Boris, He's your man
He is called the Bovine Bomber - he's a man of great renown
And he's learned that basic lesson....What goes up, my friend, comes down!

CHORUS

It fits several tunes, hope you like it! I think I have a warped sense of humour! (Well actually I KNOW!!)

Happy writing, watch out for Boris!

Lucy

line breaks edited by mudelf

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Hawker
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 04:45 PM

THE BOVINE BOMBER

In early ninety seven we trawled the Eastern seas Hoping for a heavy catch and welcoming the breeze Our lives were interrupted by an incident most rare The details of this sorrry tale my friend, with you I'll share

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 03:14 PM

Frightening! Kamikaze Cow! Does give one something to ruminate on or is it marinate? I should have realized this was a high steaks competition.

I wonder if anyone has thought about writing a serious protest song about an U.S. submarine sinking a Japenese trawler? Reality may be too close for perspective.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Gray Rooster
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:56 PM

The story's short and to the point, be wary of the sky
You never know when a cow may chance to happen by.

Now here's the proof that cows can't fly
And evidence exists that when they try, they die.

Upon the deck a cow did crash
And sank us all mighty fast

It happened to me and my mates in 97 or 98
But good things come out of horrible fate
We went into the ruminate steak.

line breaks edited by mudelf

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Dharmabum
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:45 PM

I'll let you know if I survive it Mmario.

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:39 PM

Just where is the gang-cheek?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:30 PM

MMario, I love it! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for:

God bless Mother Nature, for she likes a barbecue;
She sends us beef from heaven; Now that is something new;
And when the lightning strikes the roof, I cannot really care
It's just enough to roast the beef, perfect-u-ly rare!

And Dharmabum, I missed you too! And did you know that a gang-cheek kissing is being planned for you? ;-)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Dharmabum
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:23 PM

Boy you're right about that one Alex!!!! We've got some stiff competition here. Great songs guys!

Welcome back Aine,We missed ya.

Ron.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:21 PM

It's Raining Beef!

The temperature is falling, The glass is droppin' low
"Bless Me!" said the skipper, "we're gonna have a blow"
And according to the forecast
The sails we'de better reef
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining beef.

It's Raining Beef! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Beef ! Good grief!

I'm prayin' for a steak; the barbecue I'm gonna light;
And hope the blasted weatherman get's it right!
It's Raining Beef! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Beef! That's so neat!
Porterhouse, Sirloin and Rump,
From the clouds fall down ke-plunk!

God bless Mother Nature, for she likes a barbecue;
She sends us beef from heaven ;Now that is something new;
And when the lightning strikes the roof, I cannot really care
It's just enough to roast the beef, perfect-u-ly rare!

It's Raining Beef! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Beef! Good grief!

It's Raining Beef! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Beef! Good grief!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:19 PM

Way to go, LEJ! That's a Grade-A song! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for a winner of a chorus:

Of all the things that I have seen, the oddest one somehow
was this unexpected heifer - the Kamikaze Cow
Like a bolt of lightning from above that through our hull did plow
Two sides of beef that brought us grief - the Kamikaze Cow

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 02:10 PM

It's hard to hit a moving target. You guys keep raising the Bar-S ranch. Wonderful songs, dudes!

Well, I'd better get to work. I'll put my back into it, and my loin, and my rump, and my brisket.....

Alex

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 01:38 PM

Messed the damn html up (again). Oh well, ya get the drift...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 01:33 PM

gargl-giggl-garg-igg-argl-gig-gl ha ha HA HA HAHHHHHH!!!!!

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 01:29 PM

OH CRAP!!!

Little birdie in the sky
Why'd you do that in my eye?
Boy I'm glad that cows don't fly
PLOP!!!!!

Not original but appropriate.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Dahlin
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 01:24 PM

Brett

As we well know only someone with multiple personalities and a concertina or two could write such divine bovine lyrics.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 01:22 PM

After 40 days of fishing, I was lying in my bunk
Full of bread and haddock and the saki that I'd drunk
With no fresh beef since we left port, I dreamed of t-bone steaks
Of chops and ribs and hamburger, instead of cold rice cakes
These prayers were all unspoken, no words had left my throat
But the Buddha heard me anyway and drpped a cow upon my boat

Chorus:
Of all the things that I have seen, the oddest one somehow
was this unexpected heifer - the Kamikaze Cow
Like a bolt of lightning from above that through our hull did plow
Two sides of beef that brought us grief - the Kamikaze Cow

There was roundsteak on the quarter deck, in the cabin New York Strip
Steak Tartare in the lifeboats, on the poop deck fresh Beef Tips
The Captain hung on for his life to a floating Porterhouse
While the First Mate scanned the Heavens for more descending cows

Cho.-

So do not pray for foolish things; you'll have cause to regret it
Be careful what you wish for - the chances are you'll get it
Content yourself with daily joys, the simple things are sweet!
And always keep a wary eye, for you don't know what you'll meat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:41 PM

Trapper, excellent! I was smart, and put my drink DOWN, and swallowed before reading this thread. Keyboard safety!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:39 PM

Geez louezz! Udder terror AND steak tartare!! What a fantastic way to bring back the Challenge! Here's a big snog for Charlie and Trapper -- and a Silver Blob to Trapper for:

They rescued us and jailed us, until they told us how
A Russian plane above us had jettisoned the cow
And now when we're out drinking, we tell all inside the bar
How instead of landing sushi, we wound up with steak tartare...

All I can say is YEE-HAW!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:36 PM

But Brett, I have multiple personalities as a guest, as I do in real life, if this is real life...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:25 PM

We must definitely design a new emoticon for the sounds issuing forth from my neck. I know you all know what I mean, too. Let's use this thread to work one up and call it the Feblueberry Mark of the Mudcat.

} | 8 ~ O >

Nope, nice try but not wet enough...

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Naemanson
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:23 PM

CHARLIE! WILL YOU FERGAWDSAKE, GIVE UP THAT GUEST LABEL AND JOIN UP?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Trapper
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:19 PM

DARN!

I was trying hard to be the first to post, but I can't compete with one written two years ago!

Here's my entry just the same...

- Al

Hamburger in the Sky
(Tune: Ghost Riders in the Sky)
by Al Boyce

While trawling for some shrimp upon one cold and windy day,
Katsumi and Chomei and I were working for our pay
When all at once above us a red-eyed cow we saw,
A fallin' through the ragged sky, and heading for our prawn.

CHORUS:
Yip-i-Bonzai, Yip-i-Tojo,
Hamburger in the sky.

The forecast was clear and sunny, there was not a cloud in sight
This bovine precipitation gave us quite a fright
He gave his final bellow as he crashed right through our hull
And floundering, our captain cried, "What a lot of bull..."

They rescued us and jailed us, until they told us how
A Russian plane above us had jettisoned the cow
And now when we're out drinking, we tell all inside the bar
How instead of landing sushi, we wound up with steak tartare...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:11 PM

HOW are we supposed to compete with udder terror?

putting on my thinking cap, grinding the braingears

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:05 PM

Thanks, Naemanson and Roll&G-C!! If it's good enough for GB, well, it's sure as heck good enough for the Song Challenge! (hahaha). I hope that we'll be seeing more of you, Charlie . . . we're always looking for a new suc... -- uh, I mean Challenger! ;-) Here's your first (of many, I hope) Silver B.L.O.B. for:

This cowardly act took place, 'tis said, in nineteen-ninety-seven,
The Kasii Maru cruised the Sea of Japan, no eye was turned to Heaven;
When suddenly from overhead there came a plaintive "Moo!"
It was udder terror for her crew as that boat was stove in two...

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: harpmolly
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 12:03 PM

Perhaps it should've been named the Kobayashi Maru instead...

(hopeless geek in-joke, I know. I was a trekkie in high school.)

M

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 11:48 AM

Well, you asked for it! Of course I wrote it back in 1998.
A COWARDLY ACT
(Words by Charlie Ipcar © 1998 After a news story by Dave Barry Maine Sunday Telegram, 2/22/98 Originally in Air Transport World, January 1998 Tune: traditional Irish The Son of a Gambolier)

Now you've heard of the Titanic, an iceberg her de-mise;
You've heard of Amelia Earhart, whose plane plunged from the skies;
But have you heard of the Kasii Maru, her fate true tragedy;
When she was sunk by a falling cow while trawling on the sea?
REFRAIN:
While trawling on the sea, me lads, while trawling on the sea,
When she was sunk by a falling cow while trawling on the sea.

This cowardly act took place, 'tis said, in nineteen-ninety-seven,
The Kasii Maru cruised the Sea of Japan, no eye was turned to Heaven;
When suddenly from overhead there came a plaintive "Moo!"
It was udder terror for her crew as that boat was stove in two...

"How could a cow," you might well ask, "fall from the sky above?"
They have no wings to ride the winds, unlike the turtledove;
The truth would surely challenge the most bizarre criteria –
That cow'd been rustled by Russians from her pasture in Siberia...

Them Russians loaded up that cow on a military jet,
They'd not been flying long before bossy became upset;
She began to thrash about and threatened to stampede,
In panic they opened the cargo doors at 30,000 feet...

And so it was that cow dashed out into the skies so blue,
She struck the trawler far below and sore perplexed her crew;
But them fishermen all survived and lived to tell their tale;
They'll soon be milking royalties when their agent makes a sale...

NOTE: The "Kasii Maru" was one of the alias of a German Raider in WWII and may not be the real name of this trawler but I'll keep it until someone comes up with something better, and I'm sure they will.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Naemanson
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 11:45 AM

Believe it or not my friend Charlie has written a song about this already and we (Roll & Go) have performed it on stage for the last couple of years! I'll mention it to him if he doesn't spot this thread and get him to post it here.

The last time he performed it was at the Side Door Coffeehouse in October. I was sitting with Gordon Bok in the audience and Gordon was interested in the song. He got a big kick out of it. (Not that I'm trying to influence the judges...)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Bardford
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 11:41 AM

Welcome back, Áine! My muse returneth, I go now to compose...
Cheers, Bardford

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 49
From: Áine
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 11:31 AM

***** YES, WE'RE BACK IN THE MUDCAT AGAIN!! *****

The Challenge! returns, and, per the special request of dear Weezie (a/k/a WYSIWYG), here's a February Challenge! guaranteed to chase those post-winter blues away. This idea was sugguested by our own DaveO, and many thanks to him for it! And for your efforts this time, a special Golden Cow Chip with Sorcha's Gilded Feblueberry Award has been designed, so Go For It, Challenge!rs!!

Comin' In On A Hoof And A Prayer -- Early in 1997, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler was plucked out of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship. Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering its hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.

They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold, and hastily taken off for home.

Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a now rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.