Barry Finn - THREE (April 2001)

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: GUEST,Barry's wife, Justine
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 10:41 AM

Good news all around! Barry's transplant surgery went exceptionally well and his recovery is under way. In true Finn form, Barry was off the vent in record time and out of bed within 24 hours. He's sore (you can't have any pain medication with a new liver) and tired, but feeling very lucky, relieved and grateful. Although we're not allowed to know much about the donor and his family, we know this must be a difficult time for them. Thank you for helping to sustain Barry's spirit during the wait. I won't steal Barry's thunder and tell all the gory details, as I'm sure he'll be posting within the week.

---

Justine's message copied to the latest thread:

Barry Finn - Four- Post Op

It's good to hear from you Justine - Great News!!!

---

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 09:20 AM

This thread was getting a bit difficult to load, so I started Barry Finn - Four: Post Op

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Joy Bennett
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 09:09 AM

Thanks Rita and Kat - having some idea of what to expect will help us all to give Barry some space when he needs it and lots of love -- We all tend to want our friends to get back into the swing of things quickly after an illness -- I think it make US feel better when they can. But we all must think of Barry and take it all one day at a time --

Barry - we're with you each step of the way -- let us know though - when to stay and when to go -- don't do the "stiff upper lip" stuff. Just say "Get out"

Bonnie and i were talking about singing London Julie this Tuesday night -- kind of sending it through space to you -- and perhaps making you smile in your sleep.

Lots of love and good wishes Joy

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 09:08 AM

Great news! To paraphrase an old song:

Now, my friends, the waitings over,
Brothers (sisters) we must part,
And if I never see you anymore,
I'll love you in my heart.

We'll land on shore,
We'll land on shore,
We'll land on shore,
And be safe forever more!

True, there will be a long recovery period but let's not hold back on singing.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 09:05 AM

Thanks to persistant Peg for giving us news. Dan, it was impossible to tell how poorly he was doing from his posts - it almost sounded like he could wait indefinitely for that liver. Glad that particular milestone has been passed.

Barry, whenever you can read this - my best wishes for your recovery. Consider yourself mentally hugged - no squishing, and no nasty germs that way!

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Liam's Brother
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 08:36 AM

Thanks Rita and kat for filling us in.

Barry did not look well when I saw him on Sunday... a little like the skin side of a smoked salmon. He acted fairly normally but his wife said he was having a good day. The operation came none too soon.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 05:39 AM

Thanks, Rita, I was going to ask you about that, but didn't want to put you on the spot. It is very helpful to hear from one whose been there and it is much appreciated.

When I think of just what it took for me to get back up to speed after a hysterectomy, I can just imagine the time and adjustment it takes to assimilate a whole new organ. I hope Barry will be really good at listening to his body, first, and go with what it needs and not feel pressured, by his own eagerness, or anyone else, to get going, again. Just as you point out it will take time and lots of nurturing.

kat

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Ferrara
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 01:50 AM

This is such good news, that the surgery went well and Barry is doing fine. Somehow I feel certain he will do extremely well.

A transplant is a bit different from other types of operations. It might make it a easier on Barry if I give people a few ideas of what to expect.

As you can tell from how long it took, Barry just had complex major surgery. Livers have an elaborate blood supply and all those blood vessels had to be connected to the new liver. A miracle indeed. But it leaves you pretty sore. He'll probably sleep through most of the next few days. It will probably be three or more days before he can talk to anyone, or even wants to! (Then, knowing Barry, he'll be taking calls the minute he gets to a room with a phone!) The four-week hospital stay is sort of an average, it could be longer or a bit shorter.

Susan, thanks for reminding us that Barry has to take care of himself first of all. He'll need to pace himself and there may be times when it's hard to understand that even if he looks fine, he needs to slow down.

The surgery is just the start of the "transplant experience." The whole first year is a challenge. One heart patient said, "It's like being tied to that hospital with an umbilical cord!" There are labs and check-ups and changes in the medication for quite some time -- actually, for the rest of your life, but the pace slows after the first year.

He'll be taking large doses of immune-suppressing medicine. PLEASE CHECK WITH HIM BEFORE YOU HUG HIM!!! -- at least, if you've been around anybody with a cold or flu recently.

And, those drugs can have all kinds of "interesting" side effects. Can't predict what they might be. But be sensitive to the fact that he's going to be going around loaded up with powerful drugs for about a year. (After that, they start tapering you off a bit.)

He hopes to be back at work pretty quickly. The thing is, it's not very predictable, you just have to wait and see how it all goes. I believe it's going to go very well indeed, but almost everyone has a few ups and downs at first.

We're all going to have to watch out not to "kill him with kindness." Barry's the best judge of how he feels, but we need to be sensitive and responsive if he doesn't feel he can get back fully into the swing of things at first. One of the hardest things for me was people who didn't understand why I couldn't participate fully and just pick up my old life right away.

If anyone can do that, it will be Barry! But it will sure help, I think, if his friends understand if there are times when it's not quite possible.

Thanks for listening. I with someone had explained these things to my friends after my transplant!

Rita Ferrara

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Art Thieme
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 12:32 AM

Good news Mr Finn. Be well as soon as possible. All of our best vibes and heartiest salutations are wending their way to you and all of yours.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Big Mick
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 12:26 AM

Well, I finally feel like I can breathe. I don't know why this one has affected me so. Probably because Barry is the one who latched on to me at my first FSGW weekend and made me feel at home. Probably because I have come to love his ornery little arse. Probably because I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that great voice in the mix every year. Probably because he had enough belief and trust in our friendship to come to my workshop and sing a song that he knew flew in the face of my deeply held beliefs and conviction. He was right to do so, and I respect him very much for it. Probably because he is a tough man with a gentle soul and a caring way. I have gone to the hill, gave the Low D her head, and praised The Greatest One for leaving him with us a while longer. The tune was one of joy and thanksgiving. Now I can breathe, and rest easy. So be it.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 12:08 AM

In one report I scanned, today, it said the new liver can take up to six months to actually get the protein levels etc. up to par. Not sure what that means as to actually being up and about, though.

THIS SITE has a lot of FAQS about liver transplantation and says to expect about four weeks in hospital.

These next few days are crucial...all of the energy we can gather is of utmost importance for Barry. For those who use visualisation, I would suggest an aura of pink and healthy light emanating in his body and coursing through all of his veins, arteries, and most esp. his new liver.

I posted this once before, but it seems appropriate to do so, again:

The following prayer from Silent Unity was taken to the moon and back by one of the astronauts. I use it for myself and others, by replacing "me" with their name, and I usually use a different name for the higher power, such as "great spirit"; god of my heart; the cosmic:

Prayer of Protection

The Light of (God) surrounds (me);
The Love of (God) enfolds (me);
The power of (God) protects (me);
The presence of (God) watches over (me).
Wherever I am, God is!

I'd say, with the wonderful community we have here, we could also say the Light of Mudcat surrounds, etc.:-)

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Bert
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 12:01 AM

pheweeeeee!!!! What a relief. OK Barry, nah git off yer duff and write some nice long songs for us.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Dharmabum
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 11:58 PM

Great news, May you have a speedy recovery Barry.

DB.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Joy Bennett
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 11:57 PM

thanks Peg -- many of us here in NYC were praying and waiting -- glad to hear he's doing well.

Does anyone know how long the average hospital stay is for this?

Shall we all converge upon him during NEFFA? Perhaps a Barry workshop in his room?

Ok, so I'm a bit nuts! But we're up there anyway (up, down, whatever)

Chin up Barry --- and we'll be there for the long haul.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Alice
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 11:20 PM

This IS great news.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 11:20 PM

wonderful!....sigh of semi-relief here!.....(I know what waiting thru these next dew days are like...)

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 11:03 PM

Whew! Thanks very much, Peg. So very grateful to hear that.

Mark, I love the "Hepcat" it's purrfect!

Joy at the Mudcat!

kat

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From:
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 10:44 PM

Ah, that's good news. Thanks.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 10:43 PM

Good job Peg!!!

Justine: "Barry... Barry... BARRY... BARRY!!! WAKE UP!!! Barry... speak to me.... WHO IS THIS WOMAN PEG!?!?!?!"

Barry: "S'awright love, she's a Mudcat Deputy.... [snore... snore....]"

*G*

No, really, GOOD JOB PEG.

Whew. What a relief.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Peg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 10:39 PM

ni problem Spaw; the very least I can do.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 10:33 PM

Thanks Peg.....and a little extra for your persistence.

(:<))

Spaw

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Peg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 10:28 PM

I have spoken to the transplant unit. I have called them a number of times today but they were still kinda reluctant to tell me anything (understandable; I am not family and have only visited once). I think his wife (Justine) did not recognize my name when the nurses asked her about this person wanting information! But they finally told me:

Barry is out of surgery. It went well. He is fine.

I imagine it will be a few days before he can be in touch with us. I will call again in a day or two just to check in and see if they will give me an update. And to ask when visitors might be permitted again. I am sure Barry's family is thankful for everyone's kind wishes...

peg

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 09:20 PM

Mark, Rita, thank YOU, for guiding our thoughts with your inside view.

Peg, please, if you are the first to see Barry, remind him how hard his body will be working on healing and adjusting... tell him that on that silver platter Rita mentioned, there is a deep, plushy cushion of marshmallow hearts who want only his own rest. However hard he has ever worked to help someone else-- he's going to have to clear the decks to give himself the space for that effort on his own behalf. And as soon as he feels better, that will be even MORE important.

It's like I have told a good friend of mine who has chronic health problems-- don't use your crummy days for resting. Give your best days to rest so you can rest deeply and effectively. Give it attention, just like the attention we give hurting children.

I know-- let's tie him up! *G* Peg, take some silken cord with you... hmm, what color.... or something crocheted perhaps out of fluffy angora bunny wool....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Ferrara
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 08:48 PM

Barry, after my transplant, a woman who had had her new heart for five months visited me in the hospital. She asked me, "Do you feel as though you're being lifted up on a silver platform of other people's prayers?" I did indeed.

For all of us who feel the urge to pray or help in some such way, I hope we'll also send our prayers and healing light to the donor of Barry's liver and to his or her family who made this donation.

People talk to me about transplants being medical miracles and they are. But to me the deepest miracle has always been the families that give their loved ones' organs to save the lives of strangers.

On the practical side, the estimated time for a transplant is an average. Mine was done like a flash, (3 hours), it was a textbook physical match. They didn't even have a place ready in the recovery room! Average time for a heart is about 5 to 6 hours.

The actual surgery is much more intricate and complex for a liver, so I'm sure they take a long time. Then the person has to spend time in the recovery room, I don't know how many hours, it was all a blur.

Then, they go to Intensive Care unit (ICU). I think I was there for three days. That too is a bit of a blur though some memories stand out, like the wonderful nurse who stayed half an hour after her tour of duty was up, to order and apply some medicine for my skin under the bandages!

Then I went to Cardiac Intensive Care (CCU) for about 4 more days, and then I could be moved to the regular cardiac surgery floor.

I guess that's why Barry figured it would be about a week until he can talk to us himself. Thanks so much to Susan/WYSIWYG for spreading the word about the transplant, and to those who are keeping us up to date!

Rita Ferrara

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 08:46 PM

Thanks for that story, kat. I have no doubt that something of the donor lives on in the recipient, more than just tissue. And thanks, Susan, for the email headsup, and also for your kind words about the medical team -- which, for an operation like this including its preparation and its aftermath, is probably more than a hundred people. Joining my prayers to all of yours, hoping all those little hepatocytes quickly figure out that they have a new boss and get down to work.

As for naming the new addition, since the Latin word for liver is "hepar" (as in "hepatitis"), and this is the Mudcat, I will respectfully offer to Barry the name, "Hepcat".

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Joy Bennett
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 08:04 PM

thanks Kat -- you can never know the long term effects of actions and how it's all linked together -- how one life touches another

thread creep and all --

prayers and hearts -- prayers and hearts --

Barry - we're all with you

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 07:56 PM

Good point, Joy. I just bawled my eyes out in reading a story in the latest Reader's Digest, today. A young man of 16 was shot by a gang of kids in a car while he was with friends in an empty lot across from his house. His mother, through all of her shock and grief, okayed the use of his organs.

Her life went on, but she was always sad and never understood why it had to happen. She always felt that his heart and soul were connected and comforted herself with the thought that his heart might go to save a young child's life.

Well, one day she received an anonymous card, forwarded through the transplant bank (the anonymity was required.) It was a thank you from a 60 year old man, for her son's heart. It made he very angry that someone whom she thought was not going to live very long had received her son's heart instead of a child.

Time went on and the 60 yr. old and his wife moved to a retirement community. One day as they were leaving the dining room, an angry man, about 300 lbs., who'd had runs in with some of the neighbours came in with guns and started shooting at everyone in sight. The 60 yr. watched in horror as the guy emptied one gun, then reached for another. At that moment, the 60 yr. old heard a voice tell him he could take the guy, could stop him before he shot anymore people. He found himself tackling the man to the ground and wrestling with him, until he could be tied up by other residents. When it was over 2 people were dead and several wounded.

Eventually the heart donor's mom heard about the story and found out is was her son's heart which gave that man the ability to be there and to save the lives of 41 people that day (the police said he'd had enough ammo to kill them all 3 times over)and she believes it was her son's voice the man heard encouraging him to take the chance. It was then she found peace and acceptance of her loss.

(sorry for the bit of thread drift)

kat

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Naemanson
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 07:46 PM

It's almost 8:00 as I write this. I have been actively aware of him lying on that table all day with the doctors and nurses working on him. By now they are either finished or finishing up their decorative stitching and preparing to wheel him into the recovery room.

Good luck!

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Joy Bennett
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 07:42 PM

As I read these last postings since mine early this morning, my eyes fill up -- my heart opens outward with prayers and good thoughts - to Barry and his family and to the other unknown donor and family. Triumph and tragedy often go hand in hand.

have you signed your donor card? I have.

Should tragedy befall me one day and in losing my own life I can help others keep theirs -- it is a miracle of sorts. The donor lives on in the lives he/she has helped. That would be my silent legacy. And it is enough.

Ok, so the soap-box has come out -- sorry -- I've really been touched at the outpouring of love and prayers for Barry - many friends, but often from strangers as well.

I have known Barry but a few short years (is it 10 already?) , and his wit and never-ending optimism always makes me smile.

You are a part of all of us Barry -- and we keep you in our prayers and in our hearts.-- Get well soon --

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 06:59 PM

Word is coming back via e-mail that some people have been reading the thread today and holding Barry in their thoughts in their own way, and this includes people not in the prayer chain. It is a compelling reminder to me that even extremely active members sometimes read without posting... that we share these events whether we post to say so or not... that the network of support is even stronger, broader, and deeper than the amazing extent of it that a thread like this reflects.

Some had been following events for some time, but not today's... and have joined the stream of caring and concern too.

Lucky us, to have this Mudcat.

I've spent so much time just sitting in hospitals at bedsides, lending an aware witness to the excellence and preciousness of each one involved-- patients, families, nurses, aides, doctors, chaplains, passersby... it is not so different to be doing the same from here. Sitting in that place, all I see is the fineness of people. I'll take my certainty about that (and my gratefulness for it) into my Easter prayers, when I look back on this very full year.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 04:04 PM

So many of you send me e-mail with other Catters' addresses showing that my address book has gotten pretty fat. Well, some of them are going to be wondering how I got their addresses now, cuz I just mailed every last one of them to check this thread for updates.

~S~

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:59 PM

It looks as though we are coming close to a time when one needn't depend on another's tragedy, acording to this very interesting article on Live Liver Transplants. This looks promising.

All good thoughts and wishes for Barry, his family and the "Other" family.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Naemanson
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:56 PM

We are on the other side of organ donation. There is a faceles family out there whose only comfort is that their loved one has given life to who knows how many including our Barry.

Thanks to you, whoever you are, for what you have given us and the other recipients.

Damn! There go the tears...

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Dani
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:47 PM

I guess we can keep on sending thoughts of love and courage as long as it takes. To ALL who are needing them today.

Hang in there, y'all. Our Barry, your waiting/wondering/worrying family, and the family in sorrow....

Dani

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:46 PM

Yes. Pat, isn't it strange to think of them having no idea what Barry is like? I only know him through this series of threads; but they don't even know that. I think of someone printing it out for them and then I remember all the comments about Hurry Up Liver... I'm not criticizing-- it's just SO WEIRD.

Peg, can you find out if the hospital can forward cards to the donor's family, and how they might be addressed?

To think of someone I love, and part of them going into someone who touches so many, so deeply... I'd want to know, wouldn't you?

~Susan

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:38 PM

Yeah........that's it too isn't it?

For that unknown family and their friends..........Thanks...for our friend and I hope you know, somehow, what your sorrow means.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: annamill
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:36 PM

We'll all keep vigil Peg. If it's true that thoughts and feelings can make a difference, Barry is very lucky today. I know my feelings are strong right now.

Love, annamill

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 03:30 PM

Thanks Peg.

My prayers are with the talented and dedicated people who spend that long working to save and change the life of someone they can hardly know very well. Long time for Barry... Long time to be on one's feet pouring out that much concentration.

May our thoughts and prayers also be with the person and family whose Easter will be so suddenly less celebratory. I will think of them having no Mudcat family as I keep Vigil tonight.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: dwditty
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 02:50 PM

God Bless you, Barry. Keeping you in thought and prayer.

dw

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: annamill
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 02:46 PM

That's an awfully long time...

Love, annamill

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 02:38 PM

Thank you Peg. I am very grateful for anything you can find out as I'm sure we all are. You're kinda' the "'Catter on Point" here and we all appreciate your efforts.

As I go through the day, cleaning house and boiling eggs, my thoughts are with you Barry. I woke up this AM with my Weimaraner lapping away at my face and I thought how yours is probably missing you around the house. Get well and home soon.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 02:29 PM

Thanks, Peg!

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Peg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 02:27 PM

I called twice and eventually found out that Barry's surgery was slightly delayed this morning; he went in at 10:30 instead of 7 am...so I was told he woud probably be out or surgery by 7 or 8 pm tonight.

I will call again then and give an update if there is one. Everyone keep Barry in your prayers and thoughts as he undergoes this serious procedure. His attitude should help him out immensely however!

Peg

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Joy Bennett
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 02:07 PM

ditto!! hopefully from here on in it will be fair winds and calm seas.

Joy

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 01:17 PM

While we're waiting the verses of Lieut, Mowett come to mind:

Oh, were it mine with sacred Maro's art,
To wake to sympathy the feeling heart,
Then might I, with unrivalled strains, deplore,
Th' impervious horrors of a leeward shore.

Safe in the harbor, again, we all hope.

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: jeffp
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 01:09 PM

Does anyone know how long a liver transplant takes? I've been surfing around trying to find out, and I've learned everything but the time required for the procedure.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 12:36 PM

Peg, I was counting on you for just that, or I would do it myself... please PM me if no one will talk to you-- "Father Hardiman" is a very, VERY good door opener in usually-closed places!

~S~

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 12:21 PM

Thanks, Peg. While Barry said it could be a week before he would have access to tell us how he is, it is difficult to not know. Really appreciate your offering to do that.

kat

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Peg
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 12:14 PM

I still have the number for the transplant unit; I will try to call there later today and see if I can find out anything...

Subject: RE: BARRY FINN - THREE
From: Naemanson
Date: 12 Apr 01 - 12:10 PM

No post from him is a GOOD sign. That must mean they went ahead with the new liver. It cannot be a quick and easy operation so he may still be in there. Figure a day or two recovering and then we should get word on the success of the operation.

Cheering section is primed and ready!