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Rock School!!! Awesome!!!
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Subject: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 23 Jun 01 - 08:05 PM Holy Flip, Man! I just founde the most AWESOME site on the Net!!! It's called ROCK SCHOOL! It's F-in paradise! This is the way I have laways wanted to live, eh? You gotta chek it out. ROCK SCHOOL, man! F-in A-1 to the MAX!!!!! I gotta put twogether a band and get on the F-in Road! Like yesterday, eh? - BDiBR p.s. Oh it's at this addreese...I don't know how to do them blue clickety things, eh... www.RockSchool.com DEEEEECENT!!!! |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 23 Jun 01 - 10:59 PM Hey! what is it with you losers eh? Don't you wanta be cool? check out the ROCK SCHOOL. do it! Youle be glad you did! BDiBR www.RockSchool.com
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 23 Jun 01 - 11:04 PM Ok... whatever. This site is a good parody of the worst traits of rock bands. No wonder our GUEST likes it so much. Anyway... www.RockSchool.com |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: paddymac Date: 24 Jun 01 - 04:03 AM Original post sounds to me like a mis-placed promo piece from the site itself. Reminds me of the recent mini-flap about the bogus critics hype-ing films for/from Sony Corp. I don't mean to imply that all film critics are bogus, nor that none are for that matter. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 24 Jun 01 - 10:11 AM ROTFL! "a mis-placed promo piece from the site itself"!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: sophocleese Date: 24 Jun 01 - 10:21 AM I don't know. I never thought that rocks went to school. I wonder what the courses are like. Erosion 101: a short historical overview of major methods of erosion followed by several "hands-on" tutorials in avoiding and minimizing some of the damages. Glaciation: a special course designed for rocks living in colder regions. Instructors from Greenland demonstrate their unique abilities to "bounce" back after the release of pressure. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in BLinD River Date: 24 Jun 01 - 12:37 PM Do you losers just not get it, or what? This is just the coolst sight, ever. Like, totally DEEESCENT, man!!! Don't you wanna be a rock star? So, like, I'm trying to start a band now, eh? I totally wnt ot be like that band in those flim things. That;s the LIFE, man! But like, all these flippin' losers won't join. Like, what is with that! Stupid flippin' losers. Old bags cry when i sing, eh? Like, this band could be totally awesome! Flippin' losers. I can play gitar ok, too, eh? And i can right good songs!!! Maaaaaaaannnnnnn, I wanna be a rock star from ROCK SCOOL!!!! |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Jun 01 - 12:37 PM Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (gasp!) ROTFLMAO!!! This site is the ne plus ultra of dumb rock bands. It reminds me of the guys I rented various houses with in the early 70's in Toronto. They were all in rock bands, and I was a folkie. Ah, yes, every witless act, every foolish indulgence...it's all there. Wonderful stuff! My God, those guys look so familiar... Spohocleese - How about Lapidary Analysis 202? Or PreCambrian Strata 301? - LH p.s. Check out the section on "Rock and Romance". Hilarious! Then check out "The Advantages of Opening for a Big Name Act". Even better. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Jun 01 - 12:43 PM Blind Drunk - Just saw your post. We must've passed in cyber space there. Atta guy! Be a man, and don't give up on your dream!!!! ROCK ON!!!! I'd go for it too man, but I'm just gettin' too old for that game, and besides, I can't hold my beer....eh? - LH |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Amos Date: 24 Jun 01 - 01:36 PM Stay Safe from Drips! 101 ways to avoid them! "Stay Cool and Be Gneiss", instructions in deportment and avoiding eruptions "Tectonic Plates -- History or Fantasy?" "The Bigger They Are .... Studies in Gravitic Dynamics and Friction Coefficients" The Role of Pele in the Formation of Our Pacific Cousins How to Plan Your Moss-Gathering Career Victims of Masonry: The Awful Statistics Fashions in Roundness Over the Eons Once I Built a Tower: An Analysis of Rock Contributions to the Conquest of Western Europe I Fall to Pieces: The History of Mica and His Cousins Bad Rap: The Tragedy of Natural Asbestos and Public Relations I Was Replaced By A Brick: The Economic Catastrophe of Bipedal Dominance Since the Paleolithic. A |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Banjer Date: 24 Jun 01 - 01:54 PM Seems like Blind Drunk has one prerequisite for his avocation, a lack of spelling skills. He is calling US losers....teheeeeeeee.... |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Mark Clark Date: 24 Jun 01 - 05:38 PM I remember going to rock school as a boy at summer camp, only I think we called it lapidary class. - Mark |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Justa Picker Date: 24 Jun 01 - 05:41 PM The trouble with rock bands is that most people take them for granite. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Devilmaster Date: 24 Jun 01 - 07:29 PM Geez, is drunk working on commision here?
Somebody better tell him that insulting people is NOT the way to get people to hit his site.
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 24 Jun 01 - 08:25 PM "his site"??? Do you seriously think that the guy is smart enough for it to be "his site"? ...Somehow, I doubt it. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Jun 01 - 08:35 PM Devilmaster - believe me, it is not his site, but check it out anyway...you WILL be amused! - LH |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Rick Fielding Date: 25 Jun 01 - 12:07 AM Ummmm, Blind Drunk is Joking folks. he's not serious, and the bad spelling is deliberate. Rick |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Amos Date: 25 Jun 01 - 01:03 AM More PhD Theses from the Rock School: Dumb as a Box of What? A Statistical Analysis of Mineral Consciousness Long, Long Glacier A-Coming!! Living History from Interviews With Actual Survivors Survival Without Motion: Schools of Ontological and Ethical Theory Whither Density?: Modern Trends of Multi-mineral Accretion from 76 Million to the Present I Remember The Land Bridge -- Carrying Bipeds From Siberia Planning Eternity: An Interview with the Original Rockies A |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: paddymac Date: 25 Jun 01 - 08:01 AM Brilliant stuff, Amos. My sides still hurt. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blnd River Date: 26 Jun 01 - 12:25 PM Hey Amos! You must be a cuppla beers \short of a 6pack eh! We ani't talking about rocks here, dude! We are taling about ROCK!!! As in ROCK ON, DUDE!!!! Geez, man, turn your flippin' amp up in get in gearF! Or was you tryin to be funny? Ha ha. You want rocks? well we got plentu of em around here all up and down the highways eh? Big flippin hunks of rock all over the place. I painted "Shane & Lori 4ever" on one of them and then she dumped me. So I went back and painted it over, man, and instead I painted in GREAT BIG FLIPPIN BLACK LETTERS: LORI JEFFORDS IS A F**KIN SKANK!!! That oughta teach her. Anyway, good news, people... My brother Don and me have wangled 2 electric guitars and a bass and a couple of amps. It wasn't easy, but we found somethin to trade. I ain't sayin' what, you never know about who might be on this forum, and might know somebody else who might maybe know one the cops around here so... Yeah, anyway, we made a trade. My bother Don says he knows all about how to fix guitars. Good thing. I think the intimation is off on mine. We are workig on it. I figger won of my drinking buddies can play the bass. I got a couple of people in mind. Bass is not hard. Any loser can play bass, I figger. Then we get a drummer. DRumemmers are total retreads, eh, and there are a lot of retreads in this town,so it should be a snap to find one. Only whre do we get the drim kit if the retread don't already have it? Time fer another trade in that case. Man, I can see itnow. IN a year or 2 we will be playing the fippin' Molson Stadium, man! ROCK ON!!!!~ BDiBR |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST, Thor Hengstmenssen Date: 26 Jun 01 - 01:37 PM Ja this Rock School idea sounding like just the ticket for my Band doing the Heavy Metal sound in Stockholm. We are five pieces musicians doing very powerful electric type rock with large amplifyres. We are very poplar in the entire Scandinavia but we wish to Concker the World! This requires that we achieve a better knowing of how to play our guitars and amplifyres, as well as explosions for shocking the audeyence. Perhaps we can learn the secrets to look like such grate bands as Metallica, Poison and Great White with flowing hare and lyp-gloss? Lars and I are writing all the songs now since Sbenke was injured by a bad explosion on stage. The songs are well made, but so far the groopies are still confusing us with ELO and other pop groups, so we need more dirty English words to make them happy with us. We are Rock but we like the folk music of Mudcat and so I am posting here, because we have doing the heavy metal cover version of Rick Fielding's Lifeline. We are "Thor and His Mighty Hammermen" so see us in Kronenbourg on June 30 at the Oldskarlengpalatz in Kobenhaben. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Thor Date: 26 Jun 01 - 01:40 PM I have made a mystake as we will be in Kobenhaben June 29 and Kronenbourg on 30 at the Valkyriensingen Theatre. Rock on Mudcats! |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 26 Jun 01 - 02:57 PM Holy flip, Thor! You sound like my kinda guy! I wisht I could see yer show, but I can't make it to Sweden, eh? Not until I get a whole lot of Air Miles at Loblaws or soemthin'. Too bad about Sbenke and the explosion! I just about blew up my brother one time cos we were foolin aruond with dynamite that I got off the highway construction crew, and then he just about blew me up! I woulda been a bigger loss than him, but either way it wouldnta been good, eh? I figger in a year lr 2 we will be pullin' in the big bucks, playin' the big shows, and then we will play Sweden, man, and maybe get to meet you then. You want to get dirty Enlglish words? You gotta find some Canadian hockey players over there, and feed em beers, man, and then just listen. Take notes if ya have to. Have a beer on me! BDiBR |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Amos Date: 26 Jun 01 - 04:47 PM Blind: I think there is a subtle, but inescapable, link between our two interpretations here, and the nexus of it seems to be somewhere within the domain of your cranial dimensions, which seems to be acting somewhat like a chaotic strange attractor to the fractal values which describe the correlations between your entries to this thread and the curriculum items I have posted. Why don't we talk about it after you have completed the courses I suggested? A |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: CarolC Date: 26 Jun 01 - 05:03 PM Geezis. I flunked the damn test... |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Thor Date: 26 Jun 01 - 05:28 PM My thank you to Mr Amos for providing me many new nasty English words which Lars and I can put on our songs. In fact, we have already put some of them on our new Heavy song "Vampire Woman". Here for an exampel
Large-fang Woman leave me alone! My thanks too also Mr Blind Rivre for many kind words and I hope you will buy our new CD "Hammer and Tongs". What is the name of your Rock Band Mr Blind? Can you buy for us some of the dynamite from the construction crew if I send you some Kroners?
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Amos Date: 26 Jun 01 - 06:27 PM Dear Thor: Hammer down, good buddy!! Catch you on the flipflop. Your new lyrical style is just the bee's knees and is sure to catch a big gnarly wave as soon as you start publishing recordings. Can't wait to see you on wax, man!!! This is so far out it's IN!!! I think the expression I'm looking for is "Oh you kid and 23 skiddoo!!".
Regards, A |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River Date: 26 Jun 01 - 06:27 PM This is so COOL! Yeah, Thor, we are still tryin to get a good name for the band, eh? Most of the good names have been taken. There is a dumb band around here sometimes, and they are called "Free Beer"!!! They played the Hotel here one time and so their name was like up on the sign eh, and everybody thought it meant the place was servin free beer! The place was flippin' packed, man!!! Only thing was, then we found out that the friggin band was called Free Beer, and were we ever ticked! Me and my buddies started bangin' our fists on the tables. We DEMANDED free beer, cos it was on the sign, and that's false advetising if they don't sreve it eh? Well it ended up in a big fight. Some bouncer punched me in the eye, and I got a split lip too. I never did get to hear the flippin' band at all. They suck! But I've gotta admit they had a smart idea for a name. Sort of smart, anyway....the hOtel is bein renovated now. I will hafta see if I can score some more dynamite and I will let you know. Amos - What are you ON, man? I flippin' wish I could get some! You are gonna screw up them Swedish musicians bad, unless you know something I don't... (not friggin likely!) Carol - Hey, don't feel bad! I flunked the flippin' test too. 28 times! I tried it every way posible. I think it's been rigged. I am not gonna let a totaly stupid friggin test stop me from becoming a ROCK GOD. No flippin' way. F**k the test! All you gotta do is like Nigel, you turn the amps up to ELEVEN and ROCK ON!!!! Take no flippin' prisoners! Geez, I'm spellin pretty good today...I think I need a cuppla more beers and a snooze. See ya. BDiBR |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 26 Jun 01 - 06:49 PM Amos, I am sorry but many of your hip American expressions defy my mind. When you say we are "bee's knees" do you mean we are very tiny? And is "a big gnarly wave" what what your American Footballers do when the camera is showing them? And what are The Twenty Three Skidoos? Okay, I will give you a Swedish good wish. "May you never find a big piece of fjelldernosh floating in your bowl of skelnjer right after your brother-in-law had a fit of sneezing!" Blinnd River, I am sorry you were disapointed of "Free Beer" and started fights instead. I was once in a band called "Overpriced Akvavit" and no one showed up except my sister and a bus full of Latvian bureaucrats. It is enough to make you say "chaotic strange attractor", as Amos has cursed previously. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 26 Jun 01 - 06:50 PM Damn! Got my cookie back and blew my cover. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Amos Date: 26 Jun 01 - 07:46 PM LEJ, it coulda only been you, the Most Golden Rascal of the All!!!,p>A |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 26 Jun 01 - 09:16 PM Rock on, guys! This is great!!! |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 26 Jun 01 - 09:34 PM Waaaaaaaahhhhh! I failed the test!!!!!! Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Good thing I'm into world music, not rock, eh? (By the way, there are at least 48 possibilities, not 28 as BDiBR stated. And I am not going to go through all of them to find out what the answer is.) |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: paddymac Date: 27 Jun 01 - 08:46 AM Masterful and hillarious. How 'bout "Karst Heads" for the band name - limestone with lots of cavernous holes in it. |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:10 AM I think it might actually be more than 48 possibilities on that test. Let's see...you've got 12 questions, each with 4 possible answers. How many possible combinations could that produce? Does anyone have a formula for that? Where's Wolfgang when we need him? - LH |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: sophocleese Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:30 AM Little Hawk. If I get your question properly there are 12 questions each with 4 possible answers and you want to know how many combinations you can get. Let's see. 4 possible answers to the first question times 4 possible answers for the second questions time 4 possible answers for the third...4 to the power of 12. pavane, I guess you could have Cavern Genesis open for Karst Heads. They're a tribute band playing in a hole.
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:51 AM Thank you, Sophocleese... There are apparently 16,777,216 different possible ways of answering that test! Blind Drunk has barely scratched the surface, in other words... This should cause considerable consternation in Blind River, I would think. Who would ever have thought it could be that tough to qualify as a budding rock star? - LH |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 27 Jun 01 - 12:15 PM I have an idea... Could someone out there who is a good programmer work up a computer program that will answer the questions on the Rock School test every different way possible, until it finds the right combination of answers to pass the test? I think a computer could do this just fine. It's too much to ask a person to do a test over 16 million times, after all...who's got the time for that? When the computer finds the solution, we will then have a surefire guide on how to qualify as Rock God material, without a doubt. Think what such information could be worth!!!! - LH |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 27 Jun 01 - 02:46 PM Assuming that there IS a combination on that test that does qualify one to be a rock star... |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: sophocleese Date: 27 Jun 01 - 02:57 PM Geez guys, I figured it out but I'm not sure I should let you into the secret. Hell if I made it public then everybody could be one and who would I have for a roadie?
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 27 Jun 01 - 03:04 PM Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 27 Jun 01 - 05:15 PM Get out. You lie like a rug. That flippin' test dont work no matter how you answer it. And there aint no 16 million ways to do it neether! I would believe maybe 148 ways...but 16 million????!!! Give me an F-in break, eh! I wasn't like born yesterday. Do I look stupid or what? There are a few like basic things ya gotta do to play Rock and I have got em all mastered, man. I'll see you from the stage, loser! Meenwhile, you should see my brother playin the guitar! Funny or what! He looks more wasted than Neil Young on a Sunday afternoon, eh? I can just tell that we are gonna go far. Get ready, groopies! Here we come! I am tryin to get my brother to call the band Blind Drunk in Blind River, but he dont want to. He wants to call it Instruments of Destruction. What a stupid idea!!! He is just jealous cos I am a Internet personallity, and he is not. He will come around in a while. I am gonna see to that. BDiBR |
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Subject: RE: ROCK SCHOOL!!! AWESOME!!! From: hesperis Date: 27 Jun 01 - 06:20 PM Beer is a good instrument of destruction. |
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