Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 12 Jul 01 - 08:43 PM Well, dear Challenge!rs, you can't say that the moss grows on the rolling stones in my head! ;-) This Challenge! idea comes from Challenge!r JenEllen; so, I'm quoting herself when I say: Don't You Think They'd Get A Stiff Neck? -- Two University of Kentucky professors have been awarded a patent for an intranasal for of Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, which would produce almost instantaneous effects. Anwar Hussein and Lewis Dittert, who filed for the patent in Dec'98 and received international media attention, were awarded the patent in March. They said their delivery system would allow patients to get results in 5 to 15 minutes. In pill form, Viagra takes about an hour to work. Somebody go and tell Catspaw to keep a squinty eye on this one . . . I think it's gonna be good!! So -- sniff, sniff, GO FOR IT, CHALLENGE!RS!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Micca Date: 12 Jul 01 - 09:47 PM Well here ya go New Viagra Tune "on Top of Old Smokey" By Micca On top of the sofa with my sweetheart I lay I popped some Viagra To help me on my way I dived for my true love This new stuffs a blast Vaulted into the garden Its kicked in so fast This new style Viagra Works without delay 'stead of waiting an hour it gives instant replay and instant replay boys is a boon and a crack it gives forward momentum but it knackers your back so all the young ladys are lamenting each day for the hour of waiting was once spent in foreplay now their fellas are falling back to their old way wham bam thank you ma am and I'll be on my way |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 12 Jul 01 - 10:06 PM Oh Micca - That is a PERFECT first entry for this Challenge! And a Silver Spittoon candidate to boot -- geez, what a spit-take that was...;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 12 Jul 01 - 10:21 PM The Aisle Where Sildenafil Stands
Click to Play
Have you ever been in love, me boys, Oh! have you felt the pain?
It was getting energetic, and we moved and swung and swayed
Says I, "My lovely darling, I'm I would take ye here and now! Chorus We were pressed against the counters where they stack the hair shampoo
But the lass was every inch a match, she'd not be turned away!
Well we found ourselves successful, sir, in minutes less than three
Regards, A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 12 Jul 01 - 10:47 PM Once again, Amos, BOTF, stands straight out in his field . . . ;-) Wunnerful, wunnerful, my dear! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Philibuster Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:04 PM The Stuff That Once Filled Edward's Balls (to The Harp That Once Thro' Tara's Halls)
The stuff that once filled Edward's balls,
No more for chiefs and ladies old, =P |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Bill D Date: 13 Jul 01 - 12:02 AM Micca's is great..Phil's is cute,,,but Amos...that's classic! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 13 Jul 01 - 12:13 AM ++++*blush*++++ Ta kindly, Bill. A. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Philibuster Date: 13 Jul 01 - 12:33 AM Cute? I'm caught somewhere between blushing and kicking your ass, Bill D. =P |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 13 Jul 01 - 02:16 AM Both me and the missus loved yers especially, Amos! I'll be back tomorrer with me own entry (if you'll excuse the pun). Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 13 Jul 01 - 03:12 AM Couldn't wait.
The Ballad of Jed's Limp Pet
Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed
So he hurried on home and he said to his wife,
Then Jed read the bottle, it said it takes an hour
So he went back to the doctor the very next day
Now Jed is retired, and it's all very spiffy Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. line break fixed by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 13 Jul 01 - 03:16 AM Should be a line break (br) between "Pet" and "tune:" -- Joe clone/elf please fix! Thanks. Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 13 Jul 01 - 05:21 AM To the tune of A Nation Once Again
INHALATION ONCE AGAIN
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: SharonA Date: 13 Jul 01 - 08:40 AM No songs yet, but I was thinking as I read the Challenge! that they ought to have named the product "Sniff 'n Stiff"... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: MMario Date: 13 Jul 01 - 09:33 AM There's got to be a way to work pinnochio into this...
WHEN YOU SNIFF
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Scabby Douglas Date: 13 Jul 01 - 09:37 AM The Mystery Decongestant (Tune: The Rigs o' Rye) Twas in the month of sweet July When pollen fills the sultry sky From fields of rapeseed and of rye From hayfever I was suffering My lass said "Laddie, your nose is red" "Catarrh and mucus have filled your head" To the medicine chest she then me led To seek a cure for my ailments She cried "Aha! this is what you need!" "A decongestant supreme indeed Although the label I can't... quite... read.. Get this stuck up your nostrils!" A nostril then I quickly chose And breathing in, received a dose The other aperture of my nose was soon treated likewise Although my congestion it did not quell In other ways I felt quite well In fact I'd say it made me ...swell It made me quite astonished My lass was pleased I'd recovered so, Off to bed she made me go And I replied "My dearest, no." Unless you're coming with me My ardour took her by surprise Indeed she could not believe her eyes AS normally my readiness dies When stricken with any illness It served us well for many a day We'd sniff and sniff and away we'd play The inhaler expired, I'm sad to say But Vick's just wasn't the same Now I've searched the pharmacies far and wide For every inhaler they can provide But Although my nostrils are clean and wide I've never found another Cheers SD |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 13 Jul 01 - 09:44 AM Wow! What you all can come up with when I'm asleep in my bed, dreaming of new Challenge!s to perplex you with . . . Here are the Silver B.L.O.B.s for the wondrous bits of verse so far: To Micca for an ultimate spit-take with:
so all the young ladys To Amos, BOTF, for the guffaw producing:
But the lass was every inch a match, she'd not be turned away!
To Philibuster for the soon-to-be-oft-quoted: To mousethief for his down-home bonhomme with:
Then Jed read the bottle, it said it takes an hour And to a chara chóir, derrymacash, for his rally-round-the-flagpole-boys lines:
My staff of life, my wand of love These brilliant B.L.O.B.s bode well for a 'miraculous' Challenge! -- Maith sibh, well done to all!!! -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:07 AM Well, I can tell that you all are gonna keep me 'hopping' on this one . . . Here are some more well-earned Silver B.L.O.B.s:
To MMario for the 'fantastick' lines: And to Scabby Doug for the melancholy:
Now I've searched the pharmacies far and wide Keep it going, Challenge!rs ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:09 AM I am speechless; and that's rarer than a flagpole raising event in a banker's boudoir!! You guys are all wunnerful. A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: MMario Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:12 AM I wanted to do a parody to "I've got no strings" but all I could come up with was a first line: I need a string to tie me down..." |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:30 AM Boy, give this motley crew a penis or a bathroom function to write about and they go Mudcat Mad!!! Hmmmm.... A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: MMario Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:33 AM Amos - it took you sixty challenges to realize this?
man, I thought *I* was naive! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: GUEST,judy@attcanada.net Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:35 AM jim blake,by vernon delhart,some time in the 20,s.help me out with the words and i,ll name my next kid after you. also,curley loved that highborn lassey sence the day so long ago when he found her in the mountian lost and blinded by the snow. greg |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:36 AM My husband's got Viagra in him tune: My husband's got no courage in him
As I walked out one May morning
O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
For twenty years we bounced in bed
O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Then another ten years I had reprieve
O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
But nothing could put 'is Johnson right
O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
But the little blue pill was a slowsome way
O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Six children I have raised and fed
O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
"But wait!" the other lady said,
O! dear O! -- O! dear O! Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:42 AM Guest judy/greg: the best way to get your lyric request seen is to start a new thread. Actually two; one for each song you want. Some people (and presumably some of our best lyric sniffers) never check these humor threads. Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:49 AM Oh mousethief, you bad boy you! I love it -- and it's definitely another Silverplated Spittoon candidate!! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. (and you do remember what that is now, don't you?) for:
"But wait!" the other lady said, Just brilliant! -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 13 Jul 01 - 12:12 PM Actually, I don't. That part of my brain has been walled off by the Voices and refuses to relenquish its contents. Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Trapper Date: 13 Jul 01 - 02:26 PM I'm REALLY sorry about this one... but it was crying out to be parodied for this challenge. I'm sure Stan would understand... - Al
MARY ELLEN CARTER
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 13 Jul 01 - 04:44 PM Hoo-haw, another fine song from Trapper! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for your c*ckle-of-the-heart warming:
Well I wrote Viagara off, for I'd not an hour to spend Question for All Challenge!rs: I posted this message in SC! Part 59; but, apparently no one read it, and this enquiring mind wants to know -- "Here's a message for you Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award winners (and wannabees) -- I'm wondering why no one has gotten my 'bold' joke . . . derrymacash, surely you get it, don't you? ;-)" -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: SharonA Date: 13 Jul 01 - 05:17 PM Trapper: I'm jealous; that was superb. mousethief: lissome - piss some?!? *screaming laugh ...again* ASPIRATION (Tune: "Fascination") It was aspiration, I know; Something must have wended its way up his nose. Just a gasping sniff, then his briefs were stiff And I might have gone but for how long his hose was. It was medication, I know, Making him so bone-stiff for what would come next. Couldn't turn him on, but the moment he breathed in, Aspiration turned to sex! ('Tain't much, but nothing else is "coming" to me.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 13 Jul 01 - 05:47 PM Aine, darlin: No -- I don't get it!!!?? And what's worse I can't even spot what I don't get!!!! TYoo subtle fe rme! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 13 Jul 01 - 05:51 PM Dearest Amos, I'm so embarrassed at my own joke, that I think I'll let derrymacash explain it -- Oh Aidan, Where Art Thou? '-) -- Áine (giggling behind her hand...) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:00 AM Your Joke??? I don't get it either. But then again I don't get the award names either Sheila na Gig? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 14 Jul 01 - 10:32 PM Now don't tell me that this Challenge! has you all 'stumped' -- Where are my mighty ones? Did you get lost on your way to the chemist's? '-) -- Áine (who's working diligently on a 'master-piece' to knock your collective socks off -- albeit rather 'psychedelic' -- after taking a day off to get the Moon on the Hill ready for its first inspection by Mother-in-law and Sister-in-law . . .) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 15 Jul 01 - 12:49 AM Ah. So I'm not one of your mighty ones. I'm hurt, Aine. Hurt.
With a Little Sniff
With a little sniff, I can get it up
There is no end to what we can do together.
Just a little sniff, I can get it up.
With a little push, we could get it off.
With a little sniff. Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. (What's so scary is how little I actually had to change...) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 16 Jul 01 - 12:15 AM refresh... |
Subject: Job Security From: Jack the Sailor Date: 16 Jul 01 - 12:26 AM I don't find this topic as uplifting as some of the others. But I stiffened my reslove through non-prescription means and am firm in the belief that i have risen to the Challenge. An Old Gigolo or "If I put this on Medicaid can I still write it off?" By Giggy Withit
I 'm an old gigolo, and everywhere I go,
There has come a day, youth has passed away,
I'm just a gigolo, all the women know,
I have found a way, when youth has passed away,
Cause I got spray viagra, viagra, is for me,
Sniff, snort Sniffly snort Sniffy bop, zee bop. (SOLO)
Mumbaly bibbaly zeebaly boobaly hummaly baybaly zeebaly bop. Viagra is for me |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 01 - 08:12 AM WOW! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: SharonA Date: 16 Jul 01 - 08:25 AM Here's some blues for that poor, blue Viagra tablet: LITTLE PILL BLUE (Tune: "Little Girl Blue") When you were very young, The man, though hung, would rely On you to make his member swell Now all he needs is lung Capacity to apply An instant fix whene'er it fell. Now your technology's old Gone are the times when you sold Sit there and count your twin pills Bottled with you He won't renew Sit there and count your little twin pills Unswallowed little pill blue. Sit there and count each time he Said you take too Much time pre-screw Aw, now he'll mount her in the time he Would wait for little pill blue. "No good", "old hat", You may work in an hour Meanwhile she'll pout and glower He needs some staying power Now or Never, so clear out, little pill blue. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 01 - 09:32 AM Sharon, if that weren't so outrageously funny it would sound almost mystical!! It opens all kinds of possibilities, too: "where is the boy who looks after the sheep?" -- oh NO!! -- and any number of other "blue" themes. "Pill Hung Blue, everybody knows one...". Dang you got me started... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 16 Jul 01 - 09:55 AM Aine ... It's not to do with where the player would finger said ocarina in order to produce a note? Otherwise I'm at a loss ... Sorry my brain's possibly too weary from scrapping in the Shane MacGowan thread.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 16 Jul 01 - 10:45 AM Of couse I have to contribute my consumer comentary. This is from the soon to be written off-Broadway (very off and slightly Broadway) musical. Working title... "Baby-Boomer Faith" or "Who Needs Religion When We Got Science?" Stage direction: Middle aged man and woman singing to one another in a large Ikea bed. Donna & Guido get Lucky, by Codgers and Hammerhead
Hon....ey...!, why is your nose so runny?
You're Read...dy......!, you just seem so heady!
Don...na..... you may think its fiction
Hub....by...! I'm happy with your chubby.
Anymore |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Áine Date: 16 Jul 01 - 01:20 PM Alex, Alex, Alex . . . don't you know by now that I think all my darlin' Challenge!rs are mighty!?!? Silly boy ;-) Here's a Silver B.L.O.B. for you, and I hope your feelings have now been assuaged:
With a little push, we could get it off. (...rocketing thighwards...I love it!) And here are more Silver B.L.O.B.s for verse virtuosity: To SharonA for:
It was aspiration, I know; To RobDale for:
I have found a way, when youth has passed away, To SharonA again for:
No good", "old hat", And to RobDale again, and by inference this B.L.O.B. should include his stage directions!:
Hon....ey...!, why is your nose so runny? Keep it going, Challenge!rs, -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 16 Jul 01 - 01:41 PM Nine Minutes Will Please a Lady tune: Nine Inch Will Please a Lady
Come rede me dame, come tell me dame,
But for a koontrie preck like mine, Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: MMario Date: 16 Jul 01 - 02:03 PM Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms (circle one) MouseThief: We would like to thank you for your contributions to the health and well-being of our corporate efforts. It has come to our attention that you are the direct cause of 35% of our domestic trade and 72 % of our overseas market. A fruit basket has been ordered. S. Pewhem President S. Pewhem & B. Reakham ~ Keyboard cleaning Specialists
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Amos Date: 16 Jul 01 - 02:07 PM GOD, Thief, you are a bottomless basket of genius!! Way ta go, goode Sirrh!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 16 Jul 01 - 02:21 PM Please! Please, gentlemen! You'll turn my pretty head! Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: Barbara Date: 16 Jul 01 - 02:38 PM If'n I remember correctly what they look like, Derrymacash, I think that Aine's award has to do with whaar ye blow on not where ye'd finger a Shiela-Na-gig. Mouth to mouth so to speak. Is that it, Aine? Blessings, Barbara |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: mousethief Date: 16 Jul 01 - 04:25 PM Puff the magic nose-spray Tune: Puff the Magic Dragon
Puff the magic nose-spray right up your nose
Together we would wrangle on a bed with billowed sheets
Some men are hard forever, but some don't share those joys
O! Puff the magic nose-spray right up your nose Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 60 From: MMario Date: 16 Jul 01 - 04:28 PM d*mn alex! Twice in one day! |
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