Song Challenge! - Part 77

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Genie
Date: 25 Dec 01 - 11:34 PM

Derrymasch, I don't know how I managed to miss your "Ducks of Magheralin" take-off the first time around, but having finally read it, I am ROTFLMAO!
Genie

P.S., Your really are out of your mind, but what a marvelous mind to be out of!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 12:02 AM

Mudself, can you help me fix a couple of lines in my songs?
In the song "Oh, What A Wild Office Party," please change "The porn is astounding--some elephant size," to "The porn is as high as a elephant's thigh."
Also, in the next to last chorus of "Fifty Ways to Scan Uncovered," please change "Ms. Cox" to "Rox."

Thanks,
Sonja

(Done - a mudelf)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 05:30 AM

Such high praise ... makes the real world seem so mundane!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 01 - 05:24 PM

That's the rub, i'n'nit, derry ?-- the real world can't hold a candle to the joys of the Cat; but you can't download pizza!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Genie
Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:51 PM

Áine, I didn't expect you to be gone so long when you posted the note about the trip to Dallas. I hope everything's all right and that you haven't visited the challenge site since the 22nd because you're just too busy having fun in Dallas.

Meanwhile, now that Santa's done his business in our chimneys for one year, so we can get back to creative writing, how about some more Mudcats giving our fearless leader some more poetry to read when she gets back?

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:30 AM

A´ine, darlin',

What's up then, TGG? You okay?

Let us hear from you, then....we miss your dulcet tones and minty sprinkles!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Barky
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:52 AM

Apparantly there's been much happening in my year or so of absence.... the quality of the Challenge!s and the Challenge!ers has much improved.. I'm enjoying this... May have to work myself up to the level of these songs. Just you wait, though... The great Barky has returned.... ;0) Hey y'all!

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Barky
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 02:01 AM

For the first attempt in over a year: (to the tune of the Wicked Witch of the West's theme)

No more Xeroxed bottoms! No more Xeroxed bottoms! *cackle cackle*

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Barky
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:06 PM

Good Morning, America!

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: MMario
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:32 PM

welcome bark barky! you've been missed.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:58 PM

Genie, since you asked for more, This one is based upon....

BONEY FINGERS
Recorded by Hoyt Axton
Words and music by Renee Armand and Hoyt Axton

See the bottom come down and the glass won't hold 'er
At my job and I feel a little bolder
Copier's running and the glass ain't getting colder
But maybe I'll be hung over in the mornin', in the mornin'
Maybe I'll need to drink a little bitters

Oh the fuser needs replacing and there's no toner
So Joe can't make a copy of his boner
No wonder that he is such a loner
Maybe he'll wake with Sally, in the morning
Maybe things'll get a little better.

Check out the output trays -Whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Asses - Boney Asses.

Yea! I've had a pretty ass as long as I remember
It's firm but then the skin is soft and tender
I'm taking copies that I'm gonna send her
Sayin' maybe she'll touch my bootie, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.

Its great to colate -Whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Asses - Boney Asses.

I don't like the exposure the copy lamp's too hot
The whole darn world is goin' to pot
We'd would expose our buttocks, the lawyers say we're not
But, maybe they will let us, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.

Whe you try to cover liability -Whadda ya get?
( Whoo-whoo ) Boney Asses - Boney Asses.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 02:58 PM

Hey, Bark!! Welcome back!!

A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 04:18 PM

Following up on Sonja's introit of "Wreck Your Balls Upon the Copier,"  here's a modest submission (about an immodest practice).

Arjay

Rack Your Balls
words:  Arjay

Rack your balls upon the copier;  Fa la la la la La la la la
Scan to hard drive (not to floppier).  Fa la la la la La la la la
Doff we now our butts' apparel.  Fa la la la la La la la la
While some angel taps that barrel.  Fa la la la la La la la la

See the flashing jewels before us.  Fa la la la la La la la la
Strike a pose like London whor-es.  Fa la la la la La la la la
Follow all, with wild abandon!  Fa la la la la La la la la
Hey, Sir Dick's still got his pants on!  Fa la la la la La la la la

Fast away th'enjoyment passeth.  Fa la la la la La la la la
"Halt!"  Doth cry our legal 'staffeth.' " Fa la la la la La la la la
Singe your toys or balls so nu-ude:  "Fa la la la la La la la la
Virgin's ripe for being su-ed*:  "Fa la la la la La la la la

(* or "screw-ed")

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 04:39 PM

Bravo RJ

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:24 PM

Áine's jes' fine -- I talked to her -- it's just that she had to cook for twelve people AND read two big books she got for Xmas, and you know how these things go. AND tonight is young son's birthday.

She'll be back right soon!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Genie
Date: 28 Dec 01 - 08:53 PM

Jack, good job with your "Boney Asses!" Hoyt Axton, I'm sure, is rolling over in his grave laughing!

Genie

Amos, thanks for checking on our dear Áine for us. (We should all have such troubles!)

Looking forward to your return, O Great Challenge! Generator, slinger of Cow Chips and B.L.O.B.s, and Supreme Judge!

Genie

P.S., By my count, this thread is far from beating the record (111 posts, I think) for a Song Challenge! You other Mudcatters, Áine's holiday break give you time to submit more doggere..., er, poetry.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Áine
Date: 02 Jan 02 - 07:19 PM

Alrightey, Challenge!rs -- Here ya go, your belated Christmas pressies of Cow Chips and what-nots. Thanks so much for the past year's belly laughs and gut wrenching guffaws -- You all are GREAT!!! ;-)

-- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

Give It A Rest, Ye Merry Revelers by Genie
He Came Upon the Xerox Clear by Sonja
I Didn't Take This Job To Be A Stripper by Deda
The Little Toner Drum Boy by Jack the Sailor
Oh, What A Wild Office Party by Sonja

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

Boney Fingers by Jack the Sailor
The Copied Bummer by Genie
Dear Flabby by Clifton53
Fifty Ways To Scan Your Booty (or Fifty Ways To Scan Uncovered) by Sonja
Jolie All Saints' Hawker Lass by Genie
Just Bums by MMario
Memo by Genie
The Office Secretary by Bradypus
The Sun Shines by derrymacash

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

The Copying of My Backside by derrymacash
The Picture of Dorian Gray's Backside by derrymacash

Winners Of The Golden Cow Chip Award With Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):

The Christmas Thong by Genie
Richard Branson (Kept His Pants On) by derrymacash
The Xeroxed Burglar by Amos

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 77
From: Genie
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 02:49 PM

Welcome back, Áine! Thanks for the kudos (cow chips). I missed your B.L.O.B slinging, but glad to hear you got some good reading in. Hope your thumb's all right soon.

Genie

Subject: Song Challenge! Pt 77 - Virgin Christmas party
From: Genie
Date: 06 Dec 10 - 02:43 AM

In the spirit of the holiday festivities, I refresh this wonderful Song Challenge!

Many delightful new twists on old Christmas carols here, indeed!