Finally I made it to the Belfast area

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:24 AM

Fibula ...

I thank you ...

And now, the way's open of course to anyone who wants to rip the ass out of their county song to do so. (Christ, I'm glad I was given a legitimate opportunity to tear "The Boys From The County Armagh" asunder ... it's the most irritating song I've ever heard ... even worse than "The Fields of Athenry! I've been wanting to shred it for half my life.)

However ... it occurs to me that no matter how hard we attempt this task, we'll be pushed to compete with Ernie Badness and Control Zone's rip through the oul' county anthems at the start of the BBC Northern Ireland's "youth" programme a few years back ("Bout 'Ye"?). The memory of their buzz-saw guitar driven rendition of "Pretty Little Girl From Omagh" still rings in my ears after all these years ...

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:42 AM

If I could actually bring myself to think about "Star of the County Down"....ugh. No.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:54 AM

I sympathise ...

But what must be done, must be done ... just grit your teeth and get on with it ... the good people of Newry will be looking to you now to avenge their honour.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Den at work
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 08:29 AM

Ah yes the Kingdom of Mourne. Where the beautiful slopes sweep down to the sea and offer breath taking views over the silent valley and Lough Shannagh, where the heather turns the mountains here and there to a shimmering purple. Across Slieve Beg and Slieve Commedagh, down the Devil's Coach Road to the sleepy village of Annalong with its little harbour and friendly welcome. Or over the other side of the Mountains to the market town of Hilltown, or along to Rostrevor thats nestles by the side of one of Ireland's greatest fiords, Carlingford. And away to fiddler's green and Cloughmore where the fairy folk dance by the moon they say. Glens, aye we have glens too but they pale in comparrison.

Antrim I have one word for you Ahoghill.

My God there at it again Tit for Tat in Norn Iron;-) Den

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 11:31 AM

derrymacash : I love what you have done to the song. Keep going, there are many more that need revised if not obliterated altogether.

Jimmy

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 11:40 AM

Jimmy ...

I can mess about with my own ... but I wouldn't feel happy messing with other people's. (Sounds like a line out of a carry on film, but I'm sure you'll get the drift.)

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 12:52 PM

Derrmacash, Get stuck in to the other Counties, I mean bloody "Molly Malone" and these rugby yuppies sing this. As a resident of the lovely County of Armagh I forgive you, and your right, it is a bloody awful song. Courtin`Boy.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:15 PM

Brilliant Derrymacash!!!... and to be honest I won't mind at all if you continue on your quest to do the other counties......... hey it would be easier to rip apart someone elses county wouldn't it..... if only I could write songs.......lol

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:33 PM

couldn't do "star of the county down" so I did one for Seamus

County Antrim

I'm glad I'm not in Carrickfergus
Because of the stink from Belfast Lough
And so I'm stuck here near Ballymena
And I can't understand it when the people talk

I'm drunk today, but who'd want to be sober?
I hate the accent of Cullybackey
Oh take me back now to Portavogie
The Ards Peninsula, that's the place for me!!

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 06:56 PM

now I know why I don't write songs.......lol

County Down

Near to Bangor town in the County Down
Is a little place called Conlig,
If you blink your eye, sure you'd drive right by,
T'would be a good thing if you did

From Crawfordsburn to Carryduff
And from Lisburn to Ballynahinch
You can keep your other Counties boys
Because Down won't give an inch!

Within easy reach is Tyrella beach
In the beautiful kingdom of Mourne
The sand's all oil, and the water's coul' (close enough rhyme I thought…lol)
You'll wish you'd never been born.

From Helen's Bay to Moneyreagh
And from Saintfield to Millisle
You can keep your other Counties boys
Because Down wins by a mile!

We've got castles and loughs, drumlins and troughs
And the lighthouse at Donaghadee
We've got Ballywalter and Crossgar
And its home to Den, Fib and me.

From Tollymore to Strangford Shore
from Downpatrick to Ardglass
You can keep your other Counties boys
And shove them up your Ass!

you know I don't mean it fellas.....*grin*

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 12:09 AM

Alison,

Very impressive. Brings back many happy memories of all those places. I travelled around that area an awful lot when I was younger (a lot younger). Hope to be in Newcastle, Annalong and Downpatrick this trip, (May 2002)

slan

Jimmy

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:40 AM

Oh well, I'm running the risk of offending fellow Ultonians by this post. Still, as me oul' da would have said, die dog or shite the licence!

Near to Banbridge town in the County Down one evening near July
From a boreen green came some drumming keen that caused my heat to fly
Oh the rattle fleet and the diddles neat from the boreen did abound
It was Bob McCrum on his Lambeg drum, he's the star of the County Down
From Bantry Bay round to Derry Quay
And from Galway to Dublin Town
No drumming I've heard that could compare
With the Star of the County Down

Well me toe I crigged as he bate a jig and I lep' like a boxing hare
We I says, says I, to a passer by, Yer man is a drummer rare
Well, he says, McCrum can fair bate a drum, but sure, man, you've heard damn all yit
As the night drops down you will hear a sound that'll quarely keep 'er lit
From Bantry Bay round to Derry Quay
And from Galway to Dublin Town
I'm intrigued by dint of the stranger's hint
'Neath the stars in the County Down

From the next-door loanin, there came a drone and then a mighty cran
And with a reedy squeal into a reel some uilleann pipes began
And oul' McCrum fell in with his drum and the sound near made me swoon
The power and the glory as they played beneath the moon
From Bantry Bay round to Derry Quay
And from Galway to Dublin Town
The pair of blades, such tunes they played
'Neath the stars in the County Down

"The Proddy Boys", "St Patrick's Day" "The Sash" and "The White Cockade"
And a dozen other party tunes, the lachakoes did trade
But then they put their diffs aside and such tunes did then produce
"The Blackbird" and "The Stack Of Oats" were two that they let loose
From Bantry Bay round to Derry Quay
And from Galway to Dublin Town
The pair of bards ceili'ed quare'n hard
'Neath the stars in the County Down

The pair played on till the early dawn "The Kesh" and "The Morning Lark"
"The Banbridge Girls" and "Newry Man", such tunes as would break your heart
As the oul' sun rose, the pair of keows signalled the session's end
Oul' McCrum battered out "The Queen" while his mate blew "Amhrán na Bhfiann"
From Bantry Bay round to Derry Quay
And from Galway to Dublin Town
II heaved a sigh and I bid goodbye
To the stars of the County Down

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Airto
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:51 AM

If Brendan Shine could have the neck to write a song about every county in Ireland, Derrymac, so can you. You're off to an excellent start.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:58 AM

Brendan Shine ... the Antichrist of Irish music ... I hope you took sensible precautions before typing that name into your machine (I had mine blessed by both of the boys in purple in Armagh and got a druid to waggle a lump of burnin' sage in front of it before I did!)

Anybody ever notice how oul' Shine has an irritating habit of sticking his tongue out in a fairly distatsteful manner when he's "resting" between lines. Makes me want to boke me ring.

(But ... fer Jaysus' sake, man ... is it any worse a habit than opening his oul gub and goulin' sentimental oul' bollocks?)

The voices!

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Airto
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:08 AM

If Brendan Shine could have the neck to write a song about every county in Ireland, Derrymac, so can you. You're off to an excellent start.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:17 AM

It's groundhog day!!

Brendan Shine ... the Antichrist of Irish music ... I hope you took sensible precautions before typing that name into your machine (I had mine blessed by both of the boys in purple in Armagh and got a druid to waggle a lump of burnin' sage in front of it before I did!)

Anybody ever notice how oul' Shine has an irritating habit of sticking his tongue out in a fairly distatsteful manner when he's "resting" between lines. Makes me want to boke me ring.

(But ... fer Jaysus' sake, man ... is it any worse a habit than opening his oul gub and goulin' sentimental oul' bollocks?)

The voices!

(Sorry Airto .. the opportunity was too good to miss!)

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Airto
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:22 AM

Sorry about the duplicate message.

Your ecumenical spirit is to be greatly admired, Derrymac, but some folk will be wanting to know which of the boys in purple did you go to first? And did you go to the second because the first didn't get the job done properly?

For some reason the Country & Irish virus mainly struck north of a line from Clew Bay across to Dundalk. I always assumed it had something to do with drumlins but I can't be sure.

I've only occasionally visited those parts so I thought I was immune.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 12:28 PM

Derrymacash, Lovely choice, another bloody awful dirge is improved upon. We await your next purge of another wee ditty. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Den at work
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 02:10 PM

My God fame at last I'm mentioned in a song. Way to go girl from down under. Derry that was brilliant I'm jealous to many friggen' talented people around here. Den

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Annraoi
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 05:01 PM

I must admit Newry takes some beatin'. I came through today on my way back from Dublin and found expertise in three currencies all at the one time. the Nyucks make a profit out of every one of them. Thus the new name for the town on half the billboards from Drogheda northwards:-
Neuro !
BTW the Abbey always looks down on Coleman's!

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 06:08 PM

Brilliant Derrymacash!!!

what you going to do to Fermanagh?

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Den
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:19 PM

eh!! Alison what could anybody do to Fermanagh...just askin', Den

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:35 PM

lol.......... or Tyrone??????? come on Den.... do something with "I'll tell me ma"

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Den
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:43 PM

OK I'll have a go MMMMMMMMHHHHHHWWWWWUUUMMM!!!!! where the hell was that?...Dunno, OK lads one more time, "oh then fair thee well sweet Donegal.....

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 08:56 PM

I'll tell me ma when I get home
I just got back from County Tyrone

lol

where the hell is Seamus..... those Antrim boys have gone very quiet.....

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Den
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:20 PM

Aye, but Alison look at all they have to draw from...Van Morrison, sure thon man can sing known...Den drive by slaggin'

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:22 PM

Alison,

We won't change anything about Antrim - it's hard to improve on perfection.

slan

Jimmy

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Annraoi
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:23 PM

Den,
Is that why he lives in Dublin instead of his native city which makes such a big thing of his "talents" ?
Annraoi

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Den
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:24 PM

Jimmy I say again AHOGHILL!!!

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Den
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 09:26 PM

Annraoi, you have it in one.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 11:37 PM

Den,

You got me with that response. I forgot about that one wee blemish. Geez I wish there was some song about Ahoghill, we could really do a job on that.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Donal
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 12:04 AM

Enjoying the thread immensly, don't forget that it used to be called Magherahoghill. Donal.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:09 AM

It's making me laugh - a bit of harmless having a go. My dads bigger than your dad is great.

Please do I'll tell me ma... it's among one of the many our band get asked to do ALL THE TIME!

But mind you after a few barrels of guinness the lads don't give a flying poop what they sing.

I think Donal's just thrown down the gauntlet to get you lot to ryhme something with... Magherahoghill.

Good luck!

Ella

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:43 AM

I lived out near Magherahoghill
And I was a bit of a boghal
There were times, once or twice
When I slipped on some ice
Be Jaysus I striddled and sproghalled

(If some of the words used above are unfamiliar to you ... check out "Montiaghisms" courtesy of "Pay The Reckoning". While you're there have a gawk at the rest of the site ... if you like this thread, you'll like this site.

(I know ... I edit the bugger.)

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:47 AM

Ahoghill. Hard to rhyme alright. Boggle? Doggerel?

BTW, "Country and Irish" or "Culchie and Western"?

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:49 AM

lol... culchie n western is an excellent one...

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 09:51 AM

Here we go … by popular demand … "I'll Tell Me Ma" translocated to modern-day Craigavon.

I'll tell me ma when I get home
The hoodies won't leave me alone
They offer E and speed and blow
And tried to nick my mobile phone
She is handsome she is pretty
She is the belle of Craigavon City
She is a coortin' 1-2-3
Please won't you tell me who is she

I'll tell me ma when I get home
The chuckies won't leave me alone
Apart they say I will be blown
If I don't move away from home
Just because I'm fly-by-night
A robbing, burgling, threatening shite
A one-way ticket I must buy
For London Town I'll have to fly

I'll tell me ma – aye, will I flute!
Me boyfriend's got me up the chute
She'd do her napper if she knew
And bate me black and bate me blue
I think I'll have to get the plane
And have it fixed across the main
And I'll come home as right as rain
I won't be doing thon again!

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Den at work
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 10:59 AM

Ok Alison, can't have these Derry men showing us up.

I'll tell me ma when I go home
Sammy won't leave me alone
he says he loves me but hes a prod
and that won't go down well with God

But he is handsome he is pretty
He took me round the back of the chippy
we were courtin' makin' such a fuss
cause hes got hands like an octupus

I'll tell me Ma
that I love him too
even though he lives up in Rathcoole
and she can break the news to me Da
That hes going to have a loyal son in law

but he is handsome he is pretty
we'll never live together in Belfast city
but we'll be happy and wait untill
we get a wee house up in Ahoghill

Den

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:39 PM

Derrymacash, Remember Paisley`s mob slagging off Lord `O Neill as, The Pochal from Ahoghill. And if you know your sick counties, a Pochal was as useful as a broken arm.Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:19 PM

I'm in a hurry, will try to add more later, in the meantime, be my guest and submit your own words.

I'll tell me ma when I go out
I've just gone out for a pint of stout
But I fear the day when she hears the news
That I have a date with Peggy Hughes
Her da is rich, cause he's a baker
He's not a prod and he's not a quaker
But my ma will treat us both with scorn
For Peggy Hughe was Ahoghill born

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:31 PM

Just ran back to my computer, these words came to me as I was at the door. 2nd verse.

My mother came up from Cootehill
Up to Belfast to get the pill
She asked the chemist with a grin
But he gave her a box of aspirin
It was a mistake when I came along
I'm sure she was feeling quite forlorn
But she would have been quite seriously ill
If I had been born in Ahoghill.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 09:53 PM

lol....... I love them... absolutely brilliant

Den.. can I please have permission to sing

But he is handsome he is pretty
He took me round the back of the chippy
we were courtin' makin' such a fuss
cause hes got hands like an octupus

loved the rest too........ now where haven't we had a go at?

and where is Seamus?... he'd love this.....lol

Fermanagh, Tyrone and Derry still need done...... lol

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: Jimmy C
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 12:45 PM

Good idea Alison, maybe we should start another thread, this one is getting lenghty. Here is a list of some towns - I will be away for 2 days but will have a go at them when I return.

Derry - Limavady/Maghera/Ballykelly etc.

Fermanagh - Belleek/Enniskillen/Lisnakea etc.

Tyrone - Cookstown/Ardboe/Coalisland/Dungannon/Strabane etc.

Maybe we should try to do 2 songs - one derogatory and one complimentary ?. But all in fun.

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: alison
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 06:47 PM

complimentary? about Belleek????? lol


slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Finally I made it to the Belfast area
From: GUEST,Seamus in Alaska
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 07:36 PM

Sorry. I've been on the road and Mudcatless for a while. I'm fairly wettin' myself, so I am! Great stuff, Derrymacash. Brilliant. Jimmy C, give me a wee while and I'll have a dig at Antrim. Hope to see some of the Alaska catters while I'm here.

Seamus