J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 02 - 12:02 AM

It's not too well known that Spaw's dogs all have Swedish names. They are named "Sven". All of them. How he calls them individually I do not know, but it's sort of like the Reg Boys kind of thing...it seems to work in its own weird way. It's actually an easy solution to having several dogs. You just yell "Here, Sven! Come on Sven! Sve-e-e-e-e-n!!! C'mere, dang it!"

- LH

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 11:43 PM

Spaw, you have my deepest sympathy.
Isn't that enough?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: artbrooks
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 11:35 PM

n r u rite or lef handed? Is it had to shav yer pams?

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 11:29 PM

"...both myself and my dogs hsve been battered with additional insults"

These typos happen all the time and I don't want you should be overly embarrassed by your ineptivity. To properly state the above (with correctivated punctureization) it should read:

"...both myselves and my dogs, hsve....yada, yada"

Do you batter your dogs before deep frying? Are both your dogs named "hsve"? How do you pronounce that? Are they Swedish? Do hogs come when you call them?

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 04:08 PM

The thread continues and since my last post, both myself and my dogs hsve been battered with additional insults. Joe has no reason to not step in at this point as I know he has returned and is posting. I have been attacked and I wish this thread closed.

Spaw

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 04:02 PM

There was "I'm Famous and Bollocks to You Lot" way back when, but he changed his nickname, so it doesn't count anymore. Too bad.

For weirdest non-member regular name, I suggest Gargoyle. GUEST, GUEST was pretty inspired too, I think, but hasn't been around lately.

- LH

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 03:32 PM

Who dat Mad Marlon Brando, he related to Mad Frankie Fraser then?
Giok

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 01:56 AM

I wasn't COMPLETELY nekkid, just a little bit..... it's one of the perks of a home computer....

And what is wrong with my name? My name is Liz and I squeak. Pretty descriptive and I've never posted under any other unless I've been at someone else's house where I've stolen their cookies temporarily.

Better than whuping them any day!

But I'm honoured to be a topseed contender.... now I don't have to live out my purple years doing bad Marlon Brando impressions.

LTS

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 22 Oct 02 - 12:58 AM

"Peas"? Hea hea heas / Aww, Shucks. Give peas a chance. With me heigh ho Cabbage & Spinach and heigh! ferogoney roly. I nommynate momnopp, on behalfshell of the veggie caucus. / And I second Bedub's brave endorsement of hisself. Anyone who can lie like that belongs in politics & will surely succeed in the general erection. :)

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: momnopp
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 11:00 PM

Y'know, I thought I had recovered from my Getaway/Mudcat hangover, but after reading this thread, I'm beginning to think the rum has taken a second toll. I swear this is written in mock Swedish!

I love this place and all you guys and it's so damn much fun to play with such a crew of nutcases like ourselves.

Sorry, Spaw; couldn't think of anything insulting to say, I'll have to work on it -- still too tired.

Peas,

JudyO

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 08:55 PM

I nominate myself. You folks are probably all under the mistaken impression that BWL are my initials. Wrong! My real name is Simplicio Arturo Gomez. BWL stands for Big-Whanged Loverboy.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 05:15 PM

Modesty forbids.
************************************************
(heehee Ripped that one off from somebody on "Sexiest Folksinger...")

OKOK. YesYes LTS and Myssys WYSI gotta be among the topseeded Contenduhs.

Additional nommynations: Dead Horse. Bat Goddess. Mooh. The Shambles.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: artbrooks
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 04:57 PM

Ey hev it un gud authorty thet Liz thu Squeek mudcets nekid. Ow du I no, yu sey? She sed it her un self, thet's ow. Las nite, en the chet, she sed it.

En besids, Cetspa hes lung blu hair un his palms, and thet shud count fer suthin. Spens tu much tim doin weerd thins wit thim dogs.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 04:31 PM

Well, yeah, I guess maybe... :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 01:39 PM

Oh no, I think I have that one covered.

~S~

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 01:05 PM

For goofiest nickname I nominate Liz the Squeak.

- LH

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 12:16 PM

My name's not John, and I am not fron Hull.!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 11:52 AM

How is this for a controversial topic?

Which Mudcatter has the goofiest nickname? What should he/she change it to?

Maybe it is I, for though I grew up by the ocean I am neither a Jack, nor a sailor. Robert the Consultant just doesn't have the same pinache.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 06:46 AM

*LOL*!! waw haw haw heehee woo woo Excellink, there, Johnny...

"MacAlpine's Roofeliers: Ceiling your Need." O SO IT'S THE SELKIES IZZIT!!! "She was a Seal you know." - Peter Kagan and the Wind. "I tried to rise but I was not able; Nancy'd Sealed me in my Needs".

John Wesley hardly
Was a friend to the hoors
He rambled with his Knees upon his Hands
All a-long the Merseyside, put the Good Book in the doors
But he was never heard to Preach inside the Can

(Roman-y Apologetics to Rev. Bobby Zimmerman, SJ)

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 10:44 PM

...I think I just sealed my need for a new mudcat name.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 10:42 PM

no pooka. It's...

out of work hooker -- John? Hardly.
constipated fellow -- John? Hardly.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 10:37 PM

John: hardly.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 10:36 PM

I are land. You are sea. Is real?

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 10:36 PM

heeheehee woops ahem / Guest Minister ~Susan, one's Credo, like Corn, can be Stuck in the Ear of the Beholder. Or izzit the BeeKeeper, ah fergit now. Perhaps it's the BeeDubya, aaah I dunno. / Ms. Sorcha, nonsense, we are all perfectly stable. MMWAAAAHA-HAAAAAAA!!!! drool drool / CarolC tS, right on. And while we're at it, "Let us never forget the General Erection." - John Lennon

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 10:11 PM

(we are all sooooooooo insane! book a suite at the Center, quick!)

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 09:50 PM

...and let us not forget the unforgettable "First Church of Shatnerology". (www.shatnerology.com , but be careful if you go to this site. It froze my computer twice when I tried to get in.)

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 09:24 PM

Whatta ya mean "no religion", Susan? It's got both Northern Ireland and Israel in it: two countries where people are always killing each other on account of religion. It also has both Shatner and sex: one of which is the religion of Little Hawk and Khandu, and the other of which is the religion of most male (and a fair number of female) Mudcatters. What else do you expect?

Bruce

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: GUEST,WYS between cookies
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 07:54 PM

What, no religion??? It figures! *G*G*

~Susan

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 07:51 PM

"Who's got the rubber trumpet?" -- Ohhhh, we could do something with that one, newfienewlywed JtS...please please, no straight lines with such tempting opportunities, we're tryin' to maintain a leetle Respeck here...(you said you gave up St. John'strumpets, remember?) NONONONO Pook, put th' Cork in it...(the groom will take a rubber TRUNCHEON yehyeh that's it, rubber truncheon, to ye)...whew...hi CarolC...:) Well anyway, this Refreshes the thread. Let's put a good Head of Steam back in it. / Hmmph?? Certainly not! Shame on youse. :)

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 07:50 PM

Ah. Well, it's a very big bridge. It's in New York City. It's a steel suspension bridge supported by 4 massive cables, each with an overall diameter of about 15.75 inches. The span of the bridge is 1,595 feet. It's a doozy. If Spaw were to hang his "willy" over the railing it wouldn't even reach halfway to the river. That's how big this bridge is.

I am willing to part with it for a warehouse full of vintage Martin guitars or an exclusive marketing contract for North American hamster sales for the next ten years.

- LH

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 07:33 PM

Wot, no cat farts?

LTS

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 20 Oct 02 - 06:50 PM

Causing mental illness in Spaw... talk about your diminishing returns...

This thread is starting to loose steam. I know! We can talk about having a ceramic bodhran session in Hull. Oh! no! My bodhran is backed up! Who's got the rubber trumpet?

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 11:46 AM

Don't they have play with your laptop workshops at the Getaway? If not, why do so many people wear eye glasses? I'm sure that Spaw's request for editing could be achieved by remote fiddling. Poor boy's gonna have one o' them sick alogical hang-ups.
What about it Joe?
Giok

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 08:47 AM

"...any conditions I might have"

I shudder to think of conditions you might have.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 08:44 AM

This highly offensive thread has now run about 30 hours since my original request to close it following the personal attacks directed at me and my hounds. No action has been taken and I am at a loss as to understand why. Joe gave the other thread some thought, but closed it much sooner. Now I realize that Joe is probably at the Getaway, but in his role, it would have been incumbent upon him to close this thread before he left....he DID post to it! His failure to do so has caused more and more grievous injury to my fragile psyche which might possibly lead to more serious mental problems in the future.

Therefore, I will hold Joe Offer personally to be both morally and financially responsible for any conditions I might have as a result of my treatment here and his complete and abject failure to do anything about it.

Spaw

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Leadfingers
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 08:16 AM

Little Hawk-I might be interested in the bridge,More info please.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 03:28 AM

DH: *LOL*!!! O so yer the Shanty English izzit!!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 03:25 AM

Now then.

-An Pluiméir Ceolmhar, what the Bride said: "good point". And while we're at it, Wot aboot SixCountyish Plastique Regulations? "O so they're Beyond Use izzit!!"

-artbrooks: dat Old Chet Ruum's got a Hold on you. You must swear off & learn to Hold your *Own*. PM Mr. Chatspaw; he'll explain in a way dat meks mair sex. SENS I mean, sens, yex lex dat's it, sens.

-B. Doob: yer continued fourbearance from four-postering here is deeply depreciated. Spare us the nekkid pitchers wouldyez pleeze. Ahh but I was so much colder then, I'm warmer than than now.

-LH: HAHAHAHA! Y'know when Mr. 'Spaw turns sideways it has the Opposite Effect. (Well. So I'm told.)

-John Hardly - Did I ever mention I was Miss Spelling of 1974? And, that Pedantry is a Felonry in West Virginnery? Ya dam pervert.

-JtS : O so it's Ceramics izzit? Did you beat the drum *slowly*? ['Spaw: did *you(*?] My cousin gave me a terra cotta tin whistle y'know. Sound the pipes lowly. "And never was piping so bad..." - -- yer man Yeets.

-Lord Max : It canna' be soon enough. How *lowwww* can we *go*? Don't answer that. :)

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Dead Horse
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 03:24 AM

Why does Max (is he a member? Can't find his profile!) keep boasting about being up this person Grade? And do we need to know that his climax is imminent?
Let this thread-name end on Shatner, and keep the sex out of it.
Some of us are British, you know!!!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: The Pooka
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 02:39 AM

***LOL***!!. I dinna (quite) daresay this is the funniest thread I've ever seen on dis here 'Cat 'cause that gets into the truly Imponderabobble, sort of like the Planck Length (which reminds me, Amos needs to get the Hell in here); but I WILLSAY it's very satisfactorily Weird. / Which reminds me, whasswuss up with dat "Make Self-Love Not War"? (Hey, it jerks for *me*.) Hiethere Mr. 'Spaw. Yer rubbin' me the right way yer know. But I digress. (Crossdress??)

JTS & CC: corn-gratulations to The Honeymooners. A *fine* mess you've gotten us into. "God help me, I do love it so." - Patton

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Oct 02 - 12:18 AM

Jack the Sailor,

Regarding your ceramic bodhran, is it a ceramic rim with a goatskin head or is it entirely ceramic? If it is the latter, it is possible that it might actually be what we potters call a "bowl". If that is the case, and it is of sufficient size and shape that it could be confused with a bodhran, please return it to Spaw as someone has obviously given you his Weimaraners' feeding dish by accident.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 05:54 PM

Max pax on nylon slax[static exhibition]
Shatner partner actor factor[upstaged by a tree]
Spaw finds flaw in K9 war[war of dogs]
Offers coffers proffered [bribery scandal]
Sex wrex mix pexs [Irish bodybuilders off sex]
Nix on pics of micks [Irish over exposure]

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 05:53 PM

See ya at the Getaway!!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 04:24 PM

Arrrr!! We aims ta please h'on dis tread!... a Sea Shanty for Deadhorse, a feller that just can't be beat!

I went to sea in da yar of '02 with Max and Offer and DeadHorse, das you!
Afghanastan was doing so fine and Israel was still Palestine
The Irish were fighting as you can bet but Erie was not a country yet
And sexy Shatner was so out of line when ever he'd travel back there in time!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Max
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 03:58 PM

Upgrade Coming Soon.

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Dead Horse
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 03:52 PM

I refuse to even look at this thread as there is no Shanty content!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 12:29 PM

JH

That didn't make one iota of sense!

I love it!!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 12:24 PM

ceramic bohdran!! ha ha ha!

you jest! That's totally redundant as both "bohdran" and "ceramic" come from the same Latin word....or was it Greek?
...anyway they both mean the same thing!! That's right. So if someone GAVE you a ceramic bohdran ha ha ha (I can hardly SAY it without burtsing into laughter) you should return it as soon as possible!! It might even be dangerously redundant to the point of irregardlessness.

These threads just bring out the pedant in me, y'know!

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 12:01 PM

Dear John Millring,

My potter friend made me a ceramic bodhran, for a wedding present. It was a very kind jester but there are a couple of problems.

a. It doesn't make much noise. (A hint perhaps)

b. It has Bohdran embalzoned on the side. What should I do????

Subject: RE: J Offer,Max,N.Ireland,Israel,Shatner,Sex
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Oct 02 - 11:29 AM

...and miss pelling