Subject: Lyr Add: Grendel, Grendel (Oor Hamlet)
From:
Barbara
Date: 22 Jan 03 - 03:10 AM
I finally got a copy of this from the friend who wrote it, and permission from him to post it here. It is, as some of you will know, a parody of Adam McNaughtan's song to the tune of the Mason' Apron that describes the storyline of Hamlet.
Hope it tickles your funny, or at least gets you through that English class.
Blessings,
Barbara
GRENDEL GRENDEL
by Richard Lewis
(To the tune, "The Mason's Apron" a la "Hamlet" by Adam McNaughtan)
© Richard Lewis; permission is given to perform the song live, with
acknowledgment; "Grendel Grendel" may not be recorded or published
without the consent of Richard Lewis.
Well, this king, his name was Hrothgar and he had a lot of booty,
so he spent it on a meadhall where his warriors could party.
After stomping Angles, Saxons, Jutes, and other foreign vanguards,
he said "Let's have a party, boys, and don't forget your tankards."
He invited lots of people who could drink nonstop for hours,
who sang songs and told old stories till their voices hit the showers
and who didn't know that out there in the dark beneath a pool
lived a giant, name of Grendel, who was really rather cruel.
Well, this Grendel had big teeth and ears and claws--he wasn't pretty--
and he got his daily protein scarfing arms and legs and feet, he
heard the party in the meadhall, heard them sing and talk and shout.
So after checking all his cupboards, he decided he'd eat out.
By the time he reached the meadhall, everybody was asleep,
lying in a drunken stupor, some alone, some in a heap.
Like a Danish smorgasboard, he gobbled one and then another,
Until he was full himself, then he took several home for mother.
Grendel, Grendel, filled his tummy,
Grendel, Grendel, toes taste yummy,
Grendel, Grendel, he's too gnarly,
Went to bed his stomach full of Sigmund, Max and Charlie.
II
Well, when Hrothgar went to get his breakfast in the morning early,
he discovered what was left of his new hall; it made him surly.
So he sent out for a hero who could handle hungry giants
and who was between heroic deeds and had no other clients.
The word it came to Beowulf and he was unemployed.
He said, "I'll take the job; it sure beats hangin' with the boys."
Then he hired up a dozen of the toughest bruisers drinking,
And they got a boat and sailed away to Denmark without sinking.
Well, when Hrothgar learned that Beowulf had come about the job,
he said, "I know this kid, he's got a reputation like the mob.
You can bet your byrnie Beowulf will kick this creature's hynie
like he's done to bears and ogres that he's fought across the brinie."
He gave Beowulf some mead and said to chill out with his men.
Then he sent out invitations and got answers back again.
And he threw another party like the one he gave before,
after cleaning up the mess from off the ceiling, walls, and floor.
Grendel, Grendel, here comes trouble.
Grendel, Grendel, burst your bubble.
Grendel, Grendel's days are numbered.
Beowulf's in town and for a monster that's a bummer.
III
It was quite a bash, believe me; there were sods from wall to wall,
quaffing barrels of warm mead that they threw up outside the hall,
Until darkness came and things began to seem a little fateful,
Hrothgar, in a speech before he split, told Beowulf he was grateful
for him waiting up for Grendel and he hoped that he'd survive,
'cause he'd give him lots of gold--providing he was still alive.
And he praised him and said Beowulf would be a hero's benchmark.
Then he said he had a meeting at the other end of Denmark.
Soon, the only people left were those who couldn't find the door
and who soon were fast asleep upon the meadhall's stoney floor,
except Beowulf, who, when he worked a case, went on the wagon
'cause the last time that he drank he had his bell rung by a dragon.
He was lying there when threw the wall the creature did attack,
but as soon as Grendel grabbed him with his claws, he grabbed him back.
"What the hey," the monster muttered, and he tried to give the slip,
but he couldn't get away until he heard a giant rip!
And his arm and shoulder separated, never more to meet.
"What a hassle," said the giant, "but at least I've got both feet."
It was awful, it was bloody, it was terminal for certain,
and he barely made it to his cave before the final curtain.
Well, the whole thing was heroic, sure as Grendel was a brute,
and the Danes chipped in and filled our hero's boat with lots of loot.
Then he sailed away to Yatland, now a hero told in song,
but that's all that I can tell you, 'cause I didn't go along.
Grendel, Grendel, lost his arm.
Grendel, Grendel, bought the farm.
Grendel, Grendel's final act's done.
If you want all the details, you'll have to learn some Anglo-Saxon.
|
sj
