BS: Where's Saddam?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 10:26 AM

The cousin, that's an idea which could work.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Willie-O
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 10:36 AM

Geez, Troll, he has so many doubles, how can anyone be so sure where he hasn't been in the past 24 years? (Iraqi TV report: "Saddam's gone on holiday for two weeks, if you were thinking of a coup, now would be a good time"...I don't think so)

We know what middle eastern governments Saddam doesn't have good relations with--Iran, Turkey, Israel of course, Egypt. But what about Syria, Jordan, Libya (remember Quadaffi? your big bogeyman from a couple of decades ago? they have considerable ideological commonality, but Quadaffi is keeping a low profile these days...)

But he certainly has a lot of friends, mostly among non-governmental agencies if you will. He's been rather generous with his money after all, sending cash payments to the families of Palestinians who have died in the Intifada (best payout goes to a suicide bomber). I've heard them interviewed on the radio. Funny how money makes the heart grow fonder, that and a common enemy.

Just as you won't find any national leaders standing up and cheering for bin Laden today, whatever they think, whoever they know, whatever communication channels they have. Do you think OBL is still free because he blends into a crowd well? I don't. That's the point--we can't name all the people who are inclined to help him, but we know they are there! Pakistan is a fascinating place, for sure. It appears to be the Casablanca of this era, where everyone plays all sides against each other.   

But yeah, time will tell. SH might indeed be grease-stain under a lot of rubble by now...

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: jimmyt
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 11:28 AM

with any luck at all, the bastard is checking in to hell about now.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Greg F.
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 02:30 PM

Of equal if not greater import to the current state of world affairs:

Where's Waldo?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 11:38 PM

The hypothesis now is that he escaped the bombs directed at him. But it is all speculation at this point.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 12:40 AM

About 14 miles north of Gainesville Fla. at the junction of SR 24 and US 301. Look on any good road map, Greg.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 05:16 AM

There's been no appearances by his nibs or the Info Minister since the last "strike". Perhaps he's in his "happy place" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Sean Waltman
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:03 AM

Latest reports on CNN indicate that Saddam is definitely either dead or alive.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Gareth
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:33 AM

Mind you, this could present a problem.

I can see it now, the doubles meeting room in a bunker somewhere under Iraq.

"I have some good news and some bad news. First the good news, our glorious leader is alive. The bad news, both his legs have been amputated"

Gareth -**BG**-

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:41 AM

Yeah, the world is lessened for me as Ol' Baghdad Bob, the Info Minister, has not shown up today..........I've really enjoyed his reality reports from Fantasyland. I figure he was cornholed by an Abrams while taping his report that the American, mercenary, infidel has been driven out of the hemisphere entirely. I mean hell, it was at least a change of pace and I heard he had offers to do a stand-up act at the Improv.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:42 AM

And where is his information minister?
I would have loved to hear him today after he has told each day that (1) no American soldier is in Baghdad and (2) all those that have been in there have been thrown out completely and (3) that those few who remain are being slaughtered.

Today, when it really would have been fun to watch him doing his job he is absent. What a pity.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 09:16 AM

Wolfie, we cross posted.....Please see my above post as I have ferreted out the infomation!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 12:43 PM

So far this morning Mohammed the Entertainer (a.k.a. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, Iraq's Information Minister) has yet to show up for work. But that's OK. There's a capable replacement. "Iraq will not be defeated," said the Iraqi ambassador to the Arab League, Mohsen Khalil, according to the Post. "Iraq has now already achieved victory--apart from some technicalities..."

---

Hmmmmmm?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,walking Eagle
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:12 PM

I often wonder why Bush the First didn't give Israeli 'operatives' the winking nod go-ahead to nail Husseins' a+s as an exchange for sitting out GW1?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 10:49 PM

He could have traded his first-born -- an honorable tradition from the Old Testament....


A

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,Banjoman
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 07:43 AM

Saddam is alive and well serving on Hampshire County Council currently uprating local taxes by over 25% and threatening dire consequences to any who object.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 09:13 AM

So...he's a conservative, right?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: MC Fat
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 09:28 AM

Heis on the the 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' and 'Chemical and Biological Weapons' sales counter of Netto's Supermarket in Mexborough. I know cos I've seen him there. Honest !! By the way for any rogue statesmen out there it's all going cheap.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 01:11 PM

No, LH. The Baathists are Socialists.
Saddam -if he is alive- is probably in Syria. It seems that a number of his generals have been spotted in both Damascus and Latakiya. This according to one of the talking head retired generals who keep popping up to explain everything to us.
If I can locate any attribution, I will post it.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: InOBU
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 02:23 PM

NO SHIT GUYS! He is driving a cab in New York, had a really wild ride and a talk with him this morning. He is OK, small bandaid on his chin, but full of puss and vinigar, and what's more, he knows how to get through traffic! Chemical Ali opened up a chili house in Memphis.
Cheers
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,comical ali
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 01:54 PM

looks like they really did get Saddam with that missile strike.
Apparently a search of the crater turned up his trademark beret and
cigar.





Then again it could be Monica Lewinsky.

when the statue of saddam came down the iraqi info. minister said,
That wasnt a statue of saddam, that was one of his doubles.

www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 02:01 PM

The statues were merely being taken down for cleaning.
(Letterman?)

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 08:48 PM

Hey folks, if any of you have any doubts, I DEFINATELY saw Saddam working as a greeter at my local WalMart! He looked spiffy in his new job. He even handed out little bags of white stuff to folks as they came in. Said it was a little gift he and his friends cooked up for folks for Easter!

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:49 PM

If that was Saddam at your WalMart, who the hell was that at MINE!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:55 PM

One of his stand-ins, I guess. They are all out of work now as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 09:42 AM

Actually, according to the Information Minister, that statue that was so publically torn down was not a statue of Hussein at all. It was a statue of one of his doubles. So there, whitey -- you just can't get it right! :>)



A

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 12:57 PM

Hey, troll, didn't you know there was such a thing as a socialist conservative? :-) Hell, they're the bane of socialism everywhere. They are just like capitalist conservatives...inflexible, wedded to the past, enamoured of rules and regulations, and inclined to resort to institutionalized violence to settle issues. They're humorless bastards, too. They give socialism a bad name wherever they go.

I suspect the Baath Party was just riddled with socialist conservatives.

Moving on, I don't think Saddam has been in Iraq for some time now...like, for years! He's been living in my hometown of Orillia. He's been calling himself "Carlos" and pretending he's from Costa Rica. If you met Carlos, you would realize immediately that he is actually Saddam Hussein. Same face, same moustache, same look, same everything. Carlos is working (sometimes) as a short order cook for various restaurants in town. He tends to drink rather heavily, and get morose. I think he is pretty ticked off about having to give up all those palaces, etc...and become just a short order cook.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 02:46 PM

Did you see today's Abu Dhabi footage that purportedly shows Saddam on the streets of Baghdad on April 9th? Now, that's a fine how do you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 03:04 PM

"Allied forces are quizzing a key member of Saddam's regime over the whereabouts of the Iraqi dictator. "

I love that term, "quizzing." Reminds me of "Quiz Show."

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 05:21 PM

I wonder what prize he wins if he gives the correct answer? Maybe an all-expense-paid weekend in Disneyland?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 06:20 PM

heric, made me think of 'quizzical', which to me implies a small grin. I suspect the actual quiz sessions are a good deal more serious. Or maybe they're having a tea party and from time to time they say, Oh, by the way, I was wondering...?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 07:43 PM

LOL! Just what I was imagining...

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:43 AM

Maybe the quiz question is, "Which would you rather do, Gen. Achmed, tell us what you know about the WMD program or listen to some more Barry Manilow?"
Or is that against the Geneva Convention?

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:26 PM

Gawd, talk about your hideous tortures...!

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 09:31 PM

All Enemies of US Declared "Probably Dead"

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 09:55 PM

Well, I can assure you of one thing...he is not in Twillingsgate. Neither is Tony Blair, who is even more unpopular here than Saddam Hussein, although that fool Winston is a big fan of his! You see, Winston is always delighted at the thought of massive military retaliation and bloodshed, regardless of whether it's necessary or even legal. I think he secretly admires Saddam too, but he's circumspect enough not to say so openly. He has long cherished a dream of running this whole town by lordly decree, and having statues of himself erected on every corner, I'm sure.

* PR