Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham

Subject: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 06:40 PM

Thought we have enough librarians among us, they might enjoy this lament by a town librarian who is tired of requests for Green Eggs and Ham. His answer is written with some skill in Curses, Sam I Am!

Wasn't sure if this needed to go under BS/nonmusic or not. Please feel free to move it, if you think it should be, Joe or Clones.

Thanks,

kat

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 08:38 PM

On the other hand, at least there is a Town Librarian! If the budget cuts go through here in Ohio, we may not have any libraries!! I'm serious and THIS IS THE SITUATION. The money is also being taken from education, but NOT from the Governor's "pet" education project which involves replacing about three fourths of the school buildings in the state!!!! Yes, here in the heartland and home of "Taft Republicanism" our governor is not only a Republican but a Taft as well!!!

Yeah, it'll be great. Not too many teachers, not much in books or other soft resources, no public libraries....but we can all look real spiffy standing in front of the new school.....that'd be the "really" new school that's replacing the one built in 1986 (no shit).

If we're getting what we deserve here, we must be one fucked up group of citizens!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Greg F.
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 09:30 PM

That's that No Child's Left Behind program ain't it? Not sure about their right behinds, tho.

You're making the same mistake a lotta folks are, 'Spaw- you're assuming this whole controversy over 'education' actually has anything at all to do with the best interests of kids, students, or learning.
Last thing the c-tracker morons now in control of government want is citizens that can think and reason intelligently. They'd be out of a job in a New York nanosecond.

As long as a politician will promise the average Americasn voter a 'tax break'- imagined or real to the tune of the price of a Big Mac or less- and consequences be damned- he'll get their vote.

That (and thumping 'towelheads', of course) is the spirit that now animates America.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 10:19 PM

In Wyoming, too, spaw. Buildings, buildings are sooo important.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: khandu
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 10:49 PM

Of course, Sorch! Buildings are important! Without buildings, we would have no Wal-marts, no Starbucks, no House of Blues, no jails, no Toy's r Y'all, no White House, no chicken coops, no CNN, no City Hall, no Oral Roberts University, no Saddam Palaces, no Pentagon, no 7-11s, no Holiday Inns, no home for me to sit at my computer while I am bored and write crap like this just for affirmation by getting response from folk like you, be the responses favorable or negative, at least someone responds to me to let me know that I am alive and someone in this pitiful world acknowledges that I exist and pays a bit of attention to me when I am blue or lonely and feel like a worthless piece of slime that exists only for the purpose of dying.

That is why buildings are important.

kat, I loved the poem, Thanks! I also love "Green Eggs and Ham"! (the book, not the breakfast!)

khandu

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 11:08 PM

I like Green Eggs and Ham. I am a Librarian, I am! Cute little poem though. I'm not a children's librarian per se, but some of the college students I assist act like children. I can certaianly understand the tedium of the job. It's not the first 50 times a question is asked, it's nos. 100 - 1,000 that gets to us.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 12:37 AM

From the cassette Yul Brynner Reads Doktor Seuss:

"I would NOT eat them on a boat!
I would NOT eat them with a goat!
I do NOT like green eegs and ham!
I DO NOT like them, Sam-I-Am!

Nor do I care for your incesssssant quesssstions!
Nor your insolence!
LEAVE MY PRESENCE!"
Never again let the name of Sam-I-Am be spoken in the Kingdomofmyfatha!"


Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera....

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Sorcha
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 01:13 AM

LOL! Ok, All ya'll, did you really know that if you happen to drop grape jelly into your liquid egg yolk, you reall do get green eggs? I found that out the hard way.......it's true.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 01:36 AM

LOL, thansk ya'll!

Spaw, I heard about the libraries there and in NYC, on NPR, right after we talked the other day!

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 01:37 AM

The metre of GE&H is fantastic for declaiming to a child or to yourself, even.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Burke
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 11:21 AM

I thought the poem was a hoot. I must admit, though, that I've seen very few children's librarians who shave ;-)

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Kim C
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 02:17 PM

My stepmother has hens that lay green eggs.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 08:24 PM

Hey!!! My Dad had a dragon he kept in our basement when I was a kid the gave green dragon milk! Really! I'm not kidding here. He would occasionally go down to the basement and you could hear him wrestling around! And when he came up, he'd have a quart of dragon milk and it was GREEN!!! Swear to God!!!!! Would my Dad lie????

The acorn never falls far from the tree.......Only 10, but my son no longer believes a damn thing I tell him........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: khandu
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 09:42 PM

Well, hell, at least sometimes I get a response.

k

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 10:05 PM

Key-riced, khandu, whaddya want? Ya just had a hunnert and fortee three blessed marys light up the sky with the same amount of flaming penises attached to them Hay-suse dolls, I mean, really, isn't that enough attention for a Mississippi crossdresser burner? Did it do any good? Oh, no, here ya are back to being a whinging piece of slime!

katjustrespondingtokeepyaup**bg**

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 10:33 PM

Well danged! Is nuthin' sacred 'round this joint? Lemme ask ya'all a question? Ahhhh, first of all, whats a library anyway? You sure you don't been liberry? If so we got one. Gots hunnerds of books but its a lousy place to party since there's this ol' gal that sits at the desk with one of them liberrian looks to her. Danged ol' gal got a Wamo slingshot an' in you so much a whisper yer gonna have a dried pinto bean whack yer butt in the head. Ahhhh, whack yer head in yer butt. Ahhhh, yer gonna get shot!

But back to Doctor Sues. Hey, hez the man! I mean writtin' all them books and with picchures an' all and then he discovered that vaccine fir measles or somethin'. My kinda guy...

An' I bet therez lots of folk that don't know that there is green egges, but there is, but they don't grow no green chickens. Well, maybe they do, I don't know. All I know is that I ain't never seen no green chicken but I've seen green egges from somekinda chicken. Yep, my buddy swears by 'em. Get's up at 5:00 every morning, smokes a joint ands slurps down a couple of them green egges raw. Looks 30 years younger than he is an' ain't got one gray hair. Heck, I was born with gray hair, dangit! Guess my mom coulda used a few of them gtreen egges her own seff...

Bobert

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Greyeyes
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 09:55 AM

Until a few months ago we had two male children's librarians in my library service. One of them's left but the other still shaves regularly, and several of the library assistants who help out with children's story time are blokes as well. Great poem, "Green Eggs & Ham" and several other Dr Seuss stories were the main reason I became the best reader in my class as a small boy, and consequently a book addict and librarian in adult life. I owe the man a very great deal.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 10:01 AM

Dr. Seuss made you a librarian? Probably fortunate you didn't grow up running errands for Sam Giancana.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Kim C
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 10:03 AM

Really. Aracauna (sp?) hens. They're originally from South America. They lay green, blue, and pinkish eggs. 'Course, they're still yellow on the inside. :-)

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Greyeyes
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 07:56 AM

Don't understand that reference Spaw.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 10:08 AM

Sorry....Sam was a Chicago mob boss who shared a woman with JFK. Just a bad joke on my part(:<))

Spaw

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 06:00 PM

Greyeyes, I gotta ask...Did your "handle" come from the Tanith Lee book Don't Bite the Sun/Drinking Sapphire Wine?

Lin

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Hollowfox
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 12:14 AM

As another 'Catter living under the Taft regeme, I can point out a wee problem with these spiffy new buildings. I've seen better built chicken houses. The newest one we got (just this past year) had a roof leak - right over the public computer area. It seems that it was more a problem of design than shoddy construction. Of course, the newest one before that had the paint blistering off it before it was three months old. The stories could go on and on, and I'm only talking about the libraries in my county. #$@%...

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 10:14 AM

I'm a librarian, and one day I was served green eggs and ham. I mean, the eggs AND the ham were green. And fuzzy. And the eggs were just a trifle whiff. Coffee was a bit old; in fact, it was solid in the cup -- couldn't get it out with an icepick, so I finally broke the cup, chopped the coffee into pieces, and sucked caffeine all day. Anyway, the odor from the eggs did keep flies from bothering me during breakfast, since it killed them on the wing fifty meters away.

Woe is me or anyone who is served green eggs and green ham for breakfast! Weep! Burp! Flatulate! Better yet, don't eat it.

(That last part is the lament.)

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Greyeyes
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 09:53 AM

Lin in Kansas, no, I've never read that. I just made it up because I have grey eyes and thought it sounded good.

Subject: RE: Town Librarian laments Green Eggs&Ham
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 07:53 PM

I remember the endless (seemingly) requests also. Just from two children, girls. They also requested that I sing them "blood" songs. That is; murder ballads. They got the idea from "The Knoxville Girl".

We decided to HAVE green eggs and ham one morning. Spent a great deal of time the night before guessing at what would turn the eggs green (no food dyes in OUR house). Decided on slathering Grape Jelly on the eggs. Wasn't exactly green like forest or loden but it did the trick, actually tasted pretty good. The girls LOVED the concoction! I still pile on a little jelly now and then.

Nostalgia.

CB