BS: For golfers only..

Subject: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 May 03 - 03:44 AM

I wish to announce that I got my first (and only) hole-in-one on May 15th at Rolling Acres Golf Course, Beaver Falls, PA.
Two witnesses, my playing partners, Jim and Sean Kelly.
Jim is the owner of Kelly's Riverside Saloon in Bridgewater, PA.
145-yard par 3, 8-Iron, ProStaff 1 ball, bounced twice in front of the green and rolled into the cup. Saw the litle sonofabitch drop!!
Drinks are on me at the Mudcat Clubhouse.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Doug_Remley
Date: 20 May 03 - 03:57 AM

B*****d! All my life, never once!

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Teribus
Date: 20 May 03 - 04:52 AM

Nice one Seamus, particularly as you were able to watch it all the way there - the memory of it will remain fresh in your mind forever.

Congratulations!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:06 AM

Groucho Marx was playing golf one day with a critic/friend (unusual for Groucho!)in tow. He came to a par 3 and although only a very average golfer, got a Hole-In-One. The critic took the story back to his paper immediately and the next day there was a headline in the Sports section with pictures of Groucho, Bobby Jones, Sam Snead, and Ben Hogan....the headline read, "Marx Joins The Immortals."

The next day a couple of sports guys went along on Groucho's round and coming to the same hole, Groucho did nothing right and shot a nine. The next newspaper edition had the same photos, except where Groucho's had been there was a blank. The headline now read, "Marx Leaves The Immortals."

So for however long.............

SEAMUS JOINS THE IMMORTALS

Congratulations!!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Beccy
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:45 AM

Go, Seamus, Go!!!!

(I had one on a miniature golf-course this weekend... does THAT count?)

Beccy

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: jeffp
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:52 AM

Congratulations, Seamus!!!!! Best I've ever done is bounce one off the pin.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:03 AM

I heard about that one jeff!!! You bounced it off the pin on 16 as I recall. Of course you were playing 11 at the time.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 May 03 - 09:12 AM

I'm not a golf fan, but living in Fort Worth it's difficult to avoid all of the talk surrounding the Colonial and the historic events this week. Quite a contrast to the Master's a couple of weeks ago.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: jeffp
Date: 20 May 03 - 10:05 AM

Was that you watching, Spaw? Hope nobody noticed that divot from my 5-iron second shot.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 20 May 03 - 12:00 PM

What goes putt putt putt putt?




A bad golfer.



It is better when said.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GaryDon
Date: 20 May 03 - 01:48 PM

Congrats to you. It must be fun to watch it all the way


Gary®

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: DougR
Date: 20 May 03 - 01:55 PM

Congratulations, Seamus. I got one myself about twenty-five years ago on a par 3, and the ball dropping in the hole made a sound that could be heard all over the golf course (or so I thought!) Wonderful feeling. I've played many a round of golf since then and haven't even come close since.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Schantieman
Date: 20 May 03 - 02:54 PM

So the Rabbi goes out for an illicit round of golf between services on Yom Kippur.    He sneaks onto the deserted course, avoiding the clubhouse, and tees up on the second tee. 485 yards, dead straight but bunkers and rough all over the place. God is looking down on this sorrowful scene, Moses by his side.

The rabbi tees off. No. 1 wood. Right on the sweet spot. The ball sails off into the distance. 400 yards carry, three bounces, onto the green and it rolls into the hole.

Moses turns to the Lord. "What did you do that for?" he asks, "Playing golf on the holiest day of the year when he should be in the synagogue, setting an example to his congregation!   And you reward him by giving him the thing every golfer dreams of?"

"Ah yes," replies God, "but who's he going to tell?"

:-)

Steve

(...who gave up golf several years ago when he got fed up with spending more time searching for the ball than anything else)

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 May 03 - 05:02 PM

Thanks, guys. I was so pumped that on the next tee - a par five - I topped my drive and dinked it just past the ladies tee. Ended up with a double-bogey and gave back the two strokes I made with the ace.
According to tradition, a golfer scoring a hole-in-one is supposed to buy a round of drinks for everyone back in the clubhouse. When we got into the clubhouse there were six guys and five of them were drinking sodas! So the round cost me $7.50. Yesss!!

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:23 PM

I've had two, but it's been about ten years since my last one. Quite a feeling. It also keeps the putter out of your hands. I'm the guy that Noddy was talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Benjamin
Date: 21 May 03 - 01:13 AM

Nice work! I've never hit one myself. Although, there was a recent story about a guy who hit two in a row. I guess the chances of that are prettt slim. Anyways, nice work! I hope to do that sometime myself!
Benjamin®

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 21 May 03 - 02:13 AM

Steve Latimer..TWO? You lucky bastard! You can buy the drinks in the Virtual Mudcat Clubhouse. Describe them or us please. The aces, not the drinks..

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 21 May 03 - 06:20 AM

Yo Schantie - Nice one.

#8-)

x

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 21 May 03 - 08:16 AM

Second or third game I ever played I rolled one a couple of inches from the pin. I thought, "This game is easy." I haven't come nearly that close since. Congrats Seamus! Way to go!

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 May 03 - 10:23 AM

God and the Devil playing golf. Lucifer tees off and hits a good drive strait down the fairway, leaving himself 10 yards short of the hole and on line for a decent birdie.

God slices the ball which bounces off a tree and goes 10 yards behind him. It rolls down a rabbit hole and the rabbit, very annoyed, jumps out with the ball in its mouth. Just then a hawk is flying over and snatches the rabbit, ball still in its mouth, up into the air. Just as the bird reaches 200' a bolt of lightning zaps it and it drops the terrified bunny in a cloud of blackened feathers. The poor rabbit thinks it will be dashed to its death but it catches on the top of a young fir tree and it begins to slide, reletively unscathed down the branches. It is so surprised it drops the ball, which in turn bounces of the lower branches, is caught by draft caused by the lightning and rolls right into the hole!

"Are we here to play golf?" says Satan, "Or are you going to piss around all day..."

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 21 May 03 - 11:26 AM

Seamus,

Actually, there are a couple of stories to go with them. The first one was in '85. It was my second year golfing and I had joined a golf club. I was in the Pro Shop one day and one of the assistant Pros asked if I wanted to buy Hole In One Insurance. I had no idea wha that was so he explained that for a nominal amount, I think it was five or ten dollars, if I had a hole in one at the club that season that the Pro Shop would pay for 100 Drinks in the clubhouse on hte day that it happened. I signed up, laughed and said "you know this means that the first time I play at another club I'll make an ace". Sure enough, a week or two later I was at my work tournament at another course and aced the second hole, the very first par three that I had seen on another course since buying the insurance. It ended up being an expensive day.

I'm kind of embarrassed about the second one. It was my first round of the year, and for some reason I was very late for my tee time. I got to the course, ran to the clubhouse without taking time to put on my spikes, grab my glasses that I need for distance and I left a sleeve of new balls in the trunk. My group was actaully finishing the third hole when I caught them. I lost my ball on the 16th hole, reached in my bag to find out that the only other ball I had was an old orange Spalding Kroflite with a cut in it that I had obviously found the year before. The eighteenth was a medium length par three. I hit my shot, thought that I had caught it a shade fat and I kind of looked away. My buddies said that's looking good while it was in the air. I said no, it's short, but started to look back at the shot and couldn't find it. They start saying "that looks great", then "it's in". I honestly didn't see it go in the hole. I have a ball rack that has the Titleist that I used for the first one, A Spalding Top Flite Plus that I had used the first time I broke 80, a crappy old scarred Orange Kroflite and a card that has three holes that have no score and a one.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 May 03 - 12:28 PM

Since we're telling the tales of the great ones here, let me tell another in the "I should have stepped on the sand rake" category.

I have never had a HIO although you'd think the odds would have caught up with me at some point. I played an average of 5 rounds a week in high school and then quit til I was in my mid twenties when I got very active again. A foursome of us would play a few rounds every week at different municipal courses. Generally, one evening a week we'd hit our favorite nine-hole, a beautifully manicured gem of a course just outside Columbus. The guy did testing for Scott's lawn products (headquartered here) and the course was well designed right into the terrain.   Number 3 was a par 3, 155 yard hole with elevated green and tee, well trapped with a pretty little brook 20 yards from the edge of the two tiered green. I generally preferred a solid 8 iron unless the wind was up.   There's the set-up.

On this pleasant evening I hit a nice shot that came down right on the pin which was just at the edge of the upper tier. Instead of sliding down the pin, which would have been nice, the ball hit it squarely and at just enough angle and backspin to kick it back....at a really healthy little clip! It bounces back about 6 feet, rolls quickly off the green and trickles down the hill into the brook. We all moaned and groaned and talked about it as we went to the green.

My ball was at the edge of the brook and in only about 2 inches of water. The guys are razzing my ass so to show just how great I am, I play it. I took a 7 iron figuring the club would twist and open the face and also slow down. With a wedge I might not even make the edge of the green. I figured wrong. Water flew and the guys on the green scattered, having a hard time picking up the ball in the spray. It not only got to the green, it cleared the green and struck a big tree about halfway to number 4 tee. Bruce is laughing his ass off as I walked around the green and when I got to the ball I saw why. It is in the soft muddy soil about 3 foot from the tree....no room to swing at all. The back of this green is about 8 foot above where I am standing and I have no idea what to do......although thoughts of a hand mashie came to mind. My best option was pitch and run with enough elevation to make the green and off to the left where I could get a swing and have the most green to work with. I didn't dare get too far underneath or the mud would have stopped the club. It was a beautiful shot, clearing the embankment with just enough room to spare. But again there is laughter. The ball had no back spin and went straight across, dropping into a trap.....just over the lip of course and now it lies there basically underneath the lip.

I managed to blast out of the trap but left about 25 foot to the pin and at this point I am so pissed that I 3 putt. So there ya' go.....my closest thing to a HIO was a 7. I have had two Double Eagles though and that should count for something!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 21 May 03 - 02:14 PM

'Spaw,

I have a whole like that every time I have a front nine score that's in the thirties. The three put is a given.

So, two albatrosses, I need to hear about those.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: DougR
Date: 21 May 03 - 04:19 PM

Not to take away from Seamus' feat, but Spaw started it.

I had two Eagles in one round. They were two of the worst looking shots I ever played, but miraculously, they both went into the hole. One was on a par 4 and the other on a par 5.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 21 May 03 - 05:53 PM

Steve, 'Spaw - great stories.
Now the truth about my HIO...
I skulled the eight-iron. A line-drive that didn't get higher than 6 feet.I turned away in disgust, cursing the shot. My playing partners started shouting "It's going on the green!" I turned back in time to see it bounce in front of the green and roll into the cup.
But I prefer to tell people that I hit the perfect 8-iron, and that the ball landed 4 feet pat the pin and sucked back into the hole.
It doesn't matter what the shot looked like - it still says 1 on the scorecard!

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 21 May 03 - 09:20 PM

As my father used to say, there's no room on a scorecard for explanations. Another old golf saying is "it's not how, but how many".

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 May 03 - 12:05 AM

Well..........all's I can say is.........if you layabouts had a proper job, you wouldn't be spending all damn day whacking a ball and then chasing it..........what's the big feckin' deal anyway?? It takes real class to be able to beat the hide off a ball on every hole. I want you to know that, having spent my whole life trying to insure decent jobs for the working class, that when I go out on a golf course I insure the employment of the whole first shift at the Titleist factory. I live my principles, damnit all. I make sure that I lose at least a ball every other hole!!!! And on the other holes, I just wear the hide off the ball. It is the patriotic thing to do, and as we all know, that is important in these times. I can't wait to hear what Rumsfeld will say about taking only one stroke per hole, but I am sure that it will be covered by the Patriot Act somewhere. HAAAAARRRRRRUUUUUUUMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Hole in one..........mutter, smurgle, mot***f****r.......play all my feckin' life and never.........grumble, sputter, spit.....Mick stomps off......

Seamus, let's build in time for a round while you are here in September. Some of the finest course you have ever seen within a short drive of Muskegon.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: DonMeixner
Date: 22 May 03 - 12:26 AM

I used to inhabit driving ranges. NOt to become a better golfer because I never golfed much. But I used to drive just to vent frustration and burn off the excess bile. A bucket a nite for some months. I could drive a ball 295 yards in a dead straightline every time. I couldn't putt or chip a ball to save my life. I used to win a drink or two by betting I could hit the 250 yard sign at least three in ten shots. Then I ran my hand through the saw. Now I can't close up my hand enough to hold a golf mallet.

First time I tried after the accident I flung the club off the second tier of the driving range and out about 40 yards into the flood lights. I then changed to and overlapping grip. I could hold the club but every time I hit the ball I'd drive it into my left instep. Once I hit the baracade behind me and bounced off that and hit me behind the left knee taking me to the ground.

I pretty much quit trying after that. Congrats Seamus.

Don

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 22 May 03 - 02:35 AM

Oh Don, don't let a few serious injuries deter you!
Well, it looks like we have a goodly number of Mudcat golfers.
How about a Mudcat Tournament?
Five or six foursomes at a course we can all agree on, dinner and a get-together at the end of it?
I think the Right Honorable Mr. Fielding plays too.
Mick, I'd love to play in September. Maybe come out a day early before the festival and squeeze in a few rounds.
Perhaps the Michigan Irish Festival in Muskegon on Spet. 12, 13, and 14 would be the time to have a Mudcat Tournament.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 May 03 - 08:23 AM

Okay Steve......here we go.

The first was on a shortish, dogleg hole at the OSU gray course when I was a senior in high school. I got off a very decent drive that actually made it slightly "round the bend." I have never played fairway woods worth a damn, but Cary Founds, my partner, suggested I at least try. By the time we got to my ball he had me convinced and since his second shot was pretty nice, I figured what the hell, it was worth a try to make the green. All I remember was whacking the living shit out of the ball with a 3 wood and watching the damn thing take a bit of a sideways bounce just short of the green. When it rolled across and holed out I was dumbfounded. Seriously, I just stood there like I was in shock or something. Cary is going nuts and ran over to me acting absolutely berserk, but I was just incredulous that I had actually hit a 3 wood out of the fairway that didn't embarass me.

The second one was funny. It was 1977, the summer before the blizzard which was one of our driest summers ever. The same three guys I mentioned in the other post and I were playing different courses every week. We played on a Sunday up at Marion which turned into the round we talked about most after the year was over. Not because it was so great, but because it was so bad and funnier than hell. This course is in the flatlands and completely unremarkable. Add to this that that it was August and a drought and it was like playing on asphalt. The greens were brown, the rough was dead grass, the fairways were dusty even!!! The city had given up on the place entirely by that point.

The first several holes we played very well, but we were behind a foursome old folks who played vveerrryyy slowly. We should have stayed behind them. On the fifth I smacked a drive that rolled forever and trickled off into the mess of dead grass passing as rough. This hole was straight and as I recall about 510 or 520. I didn't hit a great drive, but the damn thing just bounced and rolled forever and a day. Looking at it, I honestly thought I could make the green with 2 iron easily. Bob was in about the same shape and was a good hitter and he too took a 2 iron which proceeded to bounce and roll right across the "green" and on for a few more yards. We got to laughing of course and I decided I'd lay up with a nice 5 iron.......and the damn thing bounced and bounced and rolled and rolled.....and rolled in!!! Seriously, we were all on the ground just cracking up. There is no way a driver and a five would get within 150 yards of that green during normal times, but when you play on asphalt.........

The round went downhill after that. We played a few more holes pretty fairly, but the foursome in front was so damn slow....Afterwards we thought it was a lesson in taking your time and playing thoughtfully, because when they waved us through on 8, we really rushed the hole and moved on quickly. They were really nice folks and as we passed we said thanks and "we'll get through as quickly as possible" and all of that. Anyway we rushed it and it was awful. This made nine even worse out of frustration and when we turned onto the back nine it really got bad. Playing poorly was a part of it as was the now apparent fact that you had no idea where the ball was going! When they hit, they might bounce in any direction. Bruce hit a shot that on the second bounce took a damn near 90 degree turn to the right and behind some half dead pine trees. You couldn't get under anything because there wasn't enough grass. The greens were impossible, like playing minature golf. All that was missing was a windmill and a clown face.

So now by 13 or 14 we're just screwing around and laughing the whole thing off. This of course led to golf jokes and psych games. Bob was particularly susceptible to this classic old crap, but when we came to a tee with a creek at least 25 yards off the fairway, I made a point of saying, "Whatever you do, stay away from that crick." Bob says, "Enough of the bullshit Pat, that crick is a mile away." "Yeah," I replied, "but you never know." Bob was a straight hitter and any other time he'd have had no problem. But we're all razzing him now and he of course puts it in the creek. Now we're all just completely screwing around and talking about this lousy, dried out, crappy-ass course which somehow led to the idea that you might as well play the whole thing with a putter. So............

The next hole we did. And the hole after that. Ever try to chip with a putter? Anyway, we quit on the 16th or so and headed home stopping for refreshments along the way!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Beccy
Date: 22 May 03 - 09:17 AM

FYI, Seamus... MI is a fab place for a golf tournament. They have a buhzillion Jack Nicklaus golf courses around Grand Traverse Bay (not too far from Muskegon if you're already in the neighborhood.)   The Golden Bear loves Northern Michigan. Also, in the Gaylord area there are a couple award winning courses.

If you want a beautiful site, go visit Thumb Lake (otherwise known as Lake Louise to residents) when you're tooling around. I grew up there and it's absolutely gorgeous. The lake is clear as can be and has fabulous sand on its beaches. Loads of boat launches and fantastic lake trout to be had.

Beccy

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 22 May 03 - 10:06 AM

'Spaw,

Good stories. You mentioned psych games. When I was just starting to golf I was playing with a friend of mine who is one of the funniest guys I know, but he is always "on". On one hole I had hit a pretty decent drive, I was about to play my second shot, got to the top of my backswing and was about to start dwon when he said "Good Luck". I hit so far behind the ball that I think I almost broke my wrists.

Playing with putters reminds me of another story. Once a year a group of us would make the ninety minute drive to Niagara Falls to play Whirlpool Golf Course, a beautiful old Stanley Thompson course. One year I was playing horribly, one of those days that nothing was going right. One of my buddies was playing as badly, and we were getting upset. We were on about the 14th hole and I figured that in order to try to turn things around going in we should have a bit of a match for the remaining holes. He agreed to this, and I said "here's the kicker, if we're tied on the eighteenth tee we trade clubs to play the hole. He agreed, sure enough we were tied, we switched. He's a lefty, I'm not. His practice swings with my clubs were very natural looking, mine looked someone wrestling a snake. After about three of his practice swings he set up to the ball and whiffed. I at least got it off the tee. It was more like lawn bowling than golf, but it did decide our bet. My ball finally found the bottom of the cup in 11, that won the hole. Never again.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 22 May 03 - 04:58 PM

'Spaw, you and Steve sound like the kinda guys who'd be perfect for the 1st Annual Mudcat Golf Tournament and Cookout/Céilí in the Greater Muskegon area. And yes, we'd welcome female 'Cat golfers, unlike certain pros I could name.
Mick - take care of it!

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 03 - 05:00 PM

and if we couldn't golf...coudl we at least laugh at you all? BG

amergin

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 May 03 - 05:37 PM

Done. I will see to it. Any other 'Catters interested? You could come for the golf and stick around for the Michigan Irish Music Festival. Seamus, Cathy Ryan, bohola, Conklin Ceili Band, and many others. And a jam tent to sit and make music in. Don't git no better'n that, Paw!!!

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 22 May 03 - 05:50 PM

mick, that sounds delightful....sure wish i could do it...just to see you and seamus would be worth it.

Subject: Lyr Add: BIG NELLIE MAY (from The Corries)
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 22 May 03 - 10:18 PM

Hey Mick, how about us doing a Bob Hope/Bing Crosby routine and coming on stage with a couple of drivers, doing a few jokes and songs, and driving souvenir golf balls into the crowd?
That'd make 'em sit up and pay attention!
A bunch of golfing 'Catters in the Jam Tent. We'd have to sing Big Nellie May.

BIG NELLIE MAY (learned from the Corries, author possibly Matt McGinn)

I'll tell you the story of Big Nellie May,
She took up the golf in a serious way.
With her shiny new clubs and her big plastic bag,
She could easily pass for John Daly in drag.

Chorus: Toora loo, toora lay,
Just keep your head down boys and hammer away.

Now Nellie was handicapped more than the rest,
Her swing was impaired by the size of her chest;
Her overdevelopment was her downfall,
When she swung, they both swung and they all missed the ball.

Now Nellie decided they hampered her stroke,
So she tethered them up with a big piece of rope.
But they did not like being tied up in a noose;
And with the very next stroke both those rascals broke loose.

In sheer desperation she turned to the pro,
Who looked at poor Nell and said "I don't know...
I've only seen two that look like yours do,
And they're on the camel that's out in the zoo."

This pointed remark at the poor girl's physique
Made Nellie lash out in a great fit of pique.
Her blow caught the pro in his most precious spot,
And now he's got two just as big as she's got.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Dave Swan
Date: 22 May 03 - 10:34 PM

Geez 'spaw, that time you took me to the pro shop in Cloumbus there wasn't a golf club in sight......

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 03 - 12:17 AM

It was a different kind of game El Swanno.......In that game you keep your balls in your bag and put your putter in the hole.

Funny song Seamus!!!!!!!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 23 May 03 - 05:11 AM

It was the worst game of golf he had ever played . Nothing went right for him slicing ,into bunkers ,the rough ,lost balls. his score card looked more like a cicket score board. At the 18 he lost it! Four shots and only just past the tee. The next shot the ball sailed into the pond beside the club house. He casually stolled over picked up his bag and threw the lot in to the lake as far as he could and then calmly walked to the club house where he ordered a few large whiskeys. Eventually he stood up looking angry. Out the club house ,down to the lake and he dived in. Everyone was at the windows watching in horror. A few seconds later he appeared with his bag . He dragged it ashore emptied the contents on to the bank and rumaged through the pockets. Finally he puts everything back in the bag and once again heaves the bag into the lake. Even further this time. As he returned to the club house a fellow golfer concerned about his behaviour approaches him and asks what was wrong and why did he dive in the lake?
"Oh , I left my car keys in the bag" was the reply

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 23 May 03 - 11:57 AM

Seamus,

As enticing as it sounds, I don't think that it's in the cards for me this year. Just for fun, how far is Muskegon from the Detroit/Windsor border?

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 23 May 03 - 03:19 PM

Steve, I don't know. It's gotta be close. Muskegon's on a lake, Detroit/Windsor's on a lake....Maybe Mick would have the answer. And Spaw could come too. Ohio, Michigan they can't be that far apart. They're both in the Mid West after all.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 May 03 - 11:47 PM

Steve, you can make Muskegon in about 3 and 1/2 hours if you drive like sane folks. I make it in about 2 hours and 45 minutes. But I wouldn't come through Windsor. I would go up to the bridge (Sarnia). Much more direct route.

I think Latimer and Patterson ought set a right fine example and commit to coming over for golf and sessions and festival. It is the dacent thing to do.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Cllr
Date: 24 May 03 - 05:39 AM

Its my birthday today and I got a set of golf clubs Hurrah! problem is I havn't played for twenty five years and Im only 38!Oh well time to start playing again Cllr

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 24 May 03 - 11:15 AM

Mick,

Are you saying three and a half hours from the border or from Toronto? I figure that Sarnia is about 2 1/2 hrs away from here.

Are there actual dates for this event or is it in the planning stages now?

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Jimmy C
Date: 25 May 03 - 01:17 AM

Seamus, Good on you - never had one myself, not even close. Did you use a driver or a hurley ?.

Benjamin - The guy who had two lives here in Whitby, Ontario. His wife taught my children at school and she now works with my wife. His surname is Greaves, I don't know his first name, have only met him twice. He had 2 in the same game, not sure if they were consecutive or not ?. I would be content with 2 good drives in a row.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 03 - 06:45 PM

So, Seamus, the point of the game being to see how few times you have to hit the poor little ball before it goes into the hole -- does this mean you're going to quit? That would be the next logical step after a hole in one -- a hole in none. And then negative holes...I'm going to have to refer this to a mathematician.

Congrats!

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 26 May 03 - 04:02 PM

Jimmy, it was a sideline cut with a hurley. Just kidding, it was a crappy 8-iron - a thing of beauty.
Rapaire math and logic do not apply to golfers, it makes our heads hurt.
I notice Mr. Fielding hasn't responded to the Golf/Fest invitation, hhmmm?

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 27 May 03 - 04:34 AM

Hey Big Mike if you can drive from Muskegon to the border in 2.45 where other folks take 3.5 does that mean you are under par?
What club you using?

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 08:58 AM

"...math and logic do not apply to golfers, it makes our heads hurt."

THAT's why golfers score 8, 5, 7, 9, 9, 12, 5, 8, 6 and still come in under par on the front nine!

I thought those headaches came from the score on the 19th hole.

All is now explained. Thank you, Seamus.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Big Mick
Date: 27 May 03 - 03:26 PM

First off, with regard to scoring. The lot of you need to learn proper scoring technique. It is all based on the Irish notion of "It's my story. I tell it, you swear to it". If you don't understand that, you need to do some homework.

Steve, it is 3 to 3.5 hours after you cross the bridge. A good 6 hours or so from Toronto to Muskegon. There are many opportunities for a jar of the vile dark stuff along the way. This will increase the time. If you should stop to visit with Clinton, add an additional 2 days for recovery time.

As to the time it takes me, this is simple. I am quite mad. I drive like a proper madman should.

Finally..........Noddy............it is Big Mick. Please read the last paragraph. Do you really want a madman, whose handle includes the world "Big" pissed at you????? ........Mick wanders off mumbling and looking for a scythe

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 28 May 03 - 06:38 AM

OOPS SOORY MICk

Noddy runs for cover.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 28 May 03 - 06:57 AM

Mick,

I see you plan your road trips like I do.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email)
Date: 06 May 11 - 10:40 AM

Sad news today that the condition of Spanish golfer Seve Ballesteros has deteriorated within the past few days and doctors have told his family to expect the worst. He has been undergoing treatment since 2008 for a brain tumour.

In all our thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 06 May 11 - 11:02 AM

Couldn't agree more Richie.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 May 11 - 11:55 AM

Nearest I ever got was the socks I wear when playing golf... There's a 'hole in one'

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email)
Date: 07 May 11 - 04:57 AM

Sad news this morning. Golfer Seve Ballesteros has died.

Rest in Peace.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Lox
Date: 07 May 11 - 06:35 AM

Thank you Seve

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 07 May 11 - 06:38 AM

RIP Seve. Hope they have some good golf courses wherever you are.

Subject: RE: BS: For golfers only..
From: gnu
Date: 07 May 11 - 03:11 PM

As a young teenager, I used to bike out to a course about 5km away and caddy. My old man bought me a five iron, right handed. I started putting left handed in the living room, on carpet, into a glass. Then in the driveway and on the lawn, then on the practice green (18th when it was empty) at the club.

I would caddy for a pittance and then ask if we could putt for quarters (on slow days) on the 18th if I could borrow a right handed 5 iron as I was a righty. I made a lot of quarters and even extra tips.

I actually did play golf a few times. Once in Goose bay, Labrador. It was mostly gravel which made it interesting.

I still have the 5 iron... makes a good poker for the wood stove and I keep it by the back door in summer.