BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?

Subject: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Shelley C
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:01 PM

Recently, John from Hull sought advice about whether it is advisable to try to fix a broken tooth with superglue.

Well I wonder if anyone can advise me on this one. I read in a magazine that Supermodels are using Anusol (pile cream) on their faces to reduce wrinkles. It is said to work wonders , and I'm tempted to try it. But are there any hidden dangers to using it on the face?

Any opinions (serious or otherwise) appreciated.
Shelley

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:04 PM

Jesus Shelly don't set yourself up for too much all at once!

I doubt it will be a problem, considering the type of tissue it is meant to contact. When you come right down to it, your ass and your face are opposite ends of the same pipe.

Don

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:13 PM

Check here and here and you decide. I think it would be silly, myself, given the ingredients in Anusol.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:43 PM

" I read in a magazine that Supermodels are using Anusol ....."

well, durn...magazine AND Supermodels...how can you go wrong?

I suspect that if Anusol were really useful on the face, it would already be advertised and promoted as such..(though perhaps under a different name..*grin*)

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:53 PM

Well . . . I dunno. I heard tell that once (insert person [or politician] of choice here) used to be much bigger than he is now. He was taking a tour of a pharmaceutical company when he fell into a big vat of Preparation H. If they hadn't fished him out as quickly as they did, he would have disappeared entirely.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Mudlark
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:56 PM

"your ass and your face are opposite ends of the same pipe."

which would mean, I guess, that for wrinkle cream it would be called Losuna? BTW, this is ancient advice...have heard it about various hemorrhoid creams for at least 30 years.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 06:58 PM

I once gave a tube of Prep H to a guy I shared a townhouse flat with. `Coz he was a real pain in the ass. We called him "Hemmy".

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 07:21 PM

Shelley, the fact that you have asked the question and put any faith in the opinions of either magazines or supermodels or anyone on this forum would indicate, at least to me, that you yourself are an asshole, hence making the cream safe to use in your case.

I would also like to enter the above sentence in the Mudact Bad Writing Contest. The joke is worth a B- but the delivery is D or below.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 07:51 PM

Faces are generally a lot more exposed to the weather and generally toughened up. I can't imagine how it would be likely to do any particular harm up there. Whether it would do any good is another question.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 08:19 PM

wouldn't a paste of Alum do just as well?...he said, tongue in cheek...

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 08:24 PM

Well, I used to use it on baby's bums for diaper rash..........

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Deckman
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 08:27 PM

MAN ... talk about the "pucker factor! .... Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: NicoleC
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 08:30 PM

Supermodels have lines just like everyone else, but someone goes behind them with an airbrush. Supermodels also frequently smoke crack and vomit up their lunches to stay skinny. Do you REALLY want to take health advice from these folks?

Besides, mineral oil is horrible for your face in the long run.

I have very dry skin and I've had pretty dramatic results with no-name Vitamin C-serum. It costs about 1/20th the price of a fancy wrinkle cream and actually works. For me at least. YMMV, but it won't break the bank to try it for a month or two unlike some products I could mention.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: rangeroger
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 08:38 PM

It seems to me that,if youused Anusol on your face it could end up looking like what was hanging out of that weight lifters suit.

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 09:44 PM

sPAW, SHE ISN'T (dam capslock!) necessarily an asshole, she's just risking LOOKING like one.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 09:56 PM

Ya' never know what can happen Susan.......Why, once upon a time I put some of that Kentucky Jelly on my toast and even though it didn't taste fer shit, I developed an overwhelming urge to have oral sex that lasted about 24 hours!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 09:57 PM

wahts,heamorid,cream?,[i,neber,heard,of,it].john

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 10:32 PM

Shelley,
From what I have read the danger is to your eyes not your skin. Of course, if you blind yourself with the stuff, you won't have to look at your wrinkles anymore.
By the way, they are laugh lines. Cherish them.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 10:35 PM

jOhn9, it's anethestic cream for piles. Enuf info?

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Deckman
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 10:36 PM

This thread is causing to laugh so much that I'll probably get a new wrinkle! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 11:03 PM

Hmmm...This thread is drawing out the assholes, and therefore I must also jump in here. Maybe a couple suppositories stuffed up each nostril just before going out on the town would create a sort of time release effect. Stay out til three or four o'clock and get younger looking by the hour!

Spaw, have you seen any infomercials regarding this yet? If not, we must find investors immediately. America will buy this idea and is ripe for the plucking.

Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 11:05 PM

Yes, it worked quite well for my uncle who was born with one eye lid. (I've mentioned him in another thread.) When he was circumcized they saved it and grafted it on his eye. To get the wrinkles out they used Anusol and it worked admirably well. (Now, though, he is a bit cockeyed.)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 11:29 PM

I don't know about using it on your face.....but I have a story that I HAVE to share.....


We frequently have inner city children come to stay with us out here on the mountain during the summer. During this one particular summer, I had taken 2 of our visitors with me on an overnight to my grandparents. I did my best to prepare the kids for the visit. The girls were GREAT! They were respectful, polite and were patient with my grandparents. Early one morning, one of the girls came out of her bedroom all dressed and quite proud of herself. I asked her if she had brushed her teeth (as I knew the toothpaste was still in my travel bag and was expecting her to say that she peeked around in the bathroom and found some toothpaste in the cupboard). She smiled from ear to ear....oh yes, she HAD brushed her teeth *BIG SMILE SHOWING OFF THE PEARLY WHITES.* When asked where she found the toothpaste, she replied that she had used the toothpaste that was sitting on the heat register next to the toilet.

I laughed until I about cried. She was horrified. I asked her to get the *toothpaste* that she had used.....she came back holding a tube of Preparation H.....she was reading the directions (out loud) on the back of the tube......it was TOO DAMN FUNNY!!! She ran out of the room, crying and spitting. The rest of us were dying with laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   LOLOLOLOL

Can't say it that stuff is safe for your face...but it didn't make a 10 year old sick when taken internally.......LOL!

Lily =^..^=

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 03 - 11:32 PM

I really have no input on this subject. But, being an asshole, I just couldn't stay away. Anyway, it gives me any opportunity to use the little "æ" symbol in "hæmorrhoid". Cute little bugger, ain't it?

Actually, my wife's Aunt Gladys supposedly used Preparation H as a skin cream many years ago. It didn't work. She was so damned ugly it didn't make any difference whether or not she had wrinkles. She was either wrinkled and ugly or smooth and ugly but, either way, she was fuckin' ugly. She was also mean and stupid and the Preparation H didn't do a damned thing to make her nice or smart.

Bruce d'Asshole

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Deckman
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 03:07 AM

Good Lord! Where do I apply to get my membership money back? Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 05:03 AM

Are you going to use piles of it?

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 07:01 AM

"cockeyed"????
Good one, Art!

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: greg stephens
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 07:15 AM

This all brings to mind a line from one of Hovis Presley's poems(he's a very good Lancashire comedian, if you don't know him).

"She dealt me a smile
From the top of the pile"

Seems very appropriate for the topic of this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Hollowfox
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 09:24 AM

Well, it should help you to stop licking your chapped lips.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 12:08 PM

A better facial product might be CRACK CREME. Unfortunately it's too late now to get in on their Free Sample offer, but maybe Spaw has some he can spare.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Shelley C
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 01:51 PM

Thanks all. All in all, better not then.

Shelley

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 02:12 PM

What's the big deal about all this? How's it different from using bog-paper to blow your nose?

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Gareth
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 02:53 PM

Onlly when laced with Chile ( see other posts)

Or does this prove that "Top Models" don't know thier A.... etc."

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: rangeroger
Date: 31 Jul 03 - 10:45 PM

Susan, since Zim's Crack Cream is recommended for construction workers,will it cure Plumber's Crack?

Just say NO to crack. Butt crack!

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 07:20 AM

Spaw - were you lucky enough to find a lady who wanted "oral sex that lasted about 24 hours" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 07:31 AM

jOhn from Hull - I think it would be a suitable substance for you to use all over !

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Trevor
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 07:59 AM

You could try usnig face cream up your bum. Especially if it's the sort that removes hair as well

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: GUEST,travellin' Catter
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM

Are you sure it said 'wrinkles'? I had a roommate in college that used to use it to get rid of the bags under her eyes after a night of partying. It really DID work! She said I should try it too, but I know her boyfriend actually used the PrepH for his hemmies, and the thought of where his finger had been and where her finger was going was just too much to handle. I'll takes the bags & wrinkles, please!

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 11:13 AM

rr, as far as I know, there will never be a cure for PC, but we can only try. I think PH for PC would be more likeley to work, will you let us know????

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Mooh
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 02:30 PM

Whatever happened to the folks who tested Preparation A to Preparation G?

Just wondering.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 07:03 PM

They turned inside out and disappeared....but they were just random assholes off the street....

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Maryrrf
Date: 01 Aug 03 - 08:25 PM

When I was a teenager I worked in the local drugstore. A lady came in and bought a package of hemmohroid suppositories (I can't remember if it was Preparation H) and remarked that they were the nastiest things she had ever tasted but they sure worked good. We asked her how she was taking them - yes, she was swallowing them. Hadn't bothered to read the directions.

Once my dad burned his hands (steam) and the pharmacist recommended Preparation H to take the sting away.

I don't think it's harmful even if swallowed.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 09:46 AM

I think that it's quite dangerous.

Guy out here in Idaho called "Lineman Slim" (because he was skinny and worked on the railroad) woke up with a hangover and spread his toast with Preparation H. He ate it before he realized his mistake.

His friends took him to the emergency room, but it was too late. He was already disappearing from the mouth, sucking himself inwards, when they got him into the car. Less than a half hour after eating he was in the Portneuf Medical Center, where he disappeared with a gentle "pop." (The "lead photo" at the website is of just some of the high-tech, cutting edge equipment the PMC used in the vain attempt to prevent Lineman Slim from shrinking away completely.)

According to his friends, his last words, spoken just before his mouth started to pucker up and disappear, were "Sh*tty tasting butter."

And lest you think that this all happened long ago, before the Food and Drug Administration regulated Prep. H, take a look at the date!

(It was not a total loss, however: it was rumored that he was planning a run for political office.)

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 12:58 PM

What I have read in the past is that Preparation H and similar products may be useful in reducing puffiness and swelling around the eyes. However, there are eye creams out there that will do the same thing. Also, a nice cold cloth over the eyes is very soothing.

As for wrinkles... well, you ain't going to get rid of them entirely. The best defense is to use sunscreen every day, and take good care of your skin. Alpha hydroxy acid products are good for reducing the appearance of some lines and wrinkles, and will make the skin smoother overall.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Forsh
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 01:41 PM

All these jokes, all these inuendoes (?)
My dad told me that an inuedo was an Italian Supository.

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 04:13 PM

Yeah.........Dago right up there alright.........They work well too because when things come out they don't go flop, dago wop.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 04:26 PM

Spaw:

You're not supposed to be capable of making that joke, let alone actually doing it!! LOL!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Haemorrhoid cream - is it dangerous?
From: Bert
Date: 02 Aug 03 - 05:27 PM

Kim C, If it's just for puffiness and swelling around the eyes Witch Hazel works very well.