BS: The things kids say!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Moses
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 07:21 AM

We live fairly close a local landmark on the A40 known as the Polish War Memorial. It is a stone column with a bronze Eagle on top.

Following a conversation with my friend's (then) three year old daughter, some 20 years ago, we still tend to give directions like:- "When you get to the Big Pigeon, turn left"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Janie
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 08:21 AM

When my son, Stan, was three we were visiting my mother for Christmas. He had asked her about her creche and she had just finished telling him about it and naming all the figurines when I walked into the room. Stan proudly began touching each little statue and naming them for me. He said "This is Mary, Joseph, the wise men, and this is the baby Cheeses!"

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Doktor Doktor
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 08:30 AM

Kids are no respecters of etiquette.
My mate & his wife ahd an argument whilst driving to the supermarket. 5 yo was asleep in the back. In the end herself told Phil he could "F**k Off".

At the checkout proceedings were interrupted by Freya's shrill enquiry "Mummy and Daddy - now you're not going to start F***ing in the car again are you?"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: s&r
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:47 AM

Our four year old grandson lives on a working farm in Ireland. He was in the car with us, and as we went along we pointed out various things, as you do, and seeing a tractor, we said: "Look Adam! Tractor!"

With a withering glance he replied: "Tractor - with a silage trailer".


Subsequently he educated us on all the attachments that we encountered hanging on the back of tractors.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: DMcG
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:51 AM

My son did something similar when he was three and a half. We were on a bridge over a railway line as a train train pulled unto the station when an elderly lady asked him what it was. He replied 'A mark three open coach'.

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Messages from multiple threads combined. Most of the messages below are from a new thread.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: BS: The things kids say
From: GUEST,Arnie
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:23 PM

Kids have such a logical way of looking at things. My wife was teaching a class of infants about 'Now and Then'. She gave some examples of things we have around us nowadays, then asked the kids to write about how things were in the past - so one little lad puts his hand up and asks 'Please miss, how do you spell 'thenadays'...the strange thing is that this makes complete sense!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:28 PM

Sure. And if the expression "thenadays" got used enough on some popular TV show, like Friends or Seinfeldt, you would soon find it becoming an accepted part of the English language. "Humungous" is one of those words, and "bodacious" is another.

Kids have a way of going straight to the heart of something.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:36 PM

Sure -- if you can have nowadays, why not thenadays? People often complain about having one of themadays...

A

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 May 04 - 04:51 PM

Two from my son Tim, the punster:

1) at his cousin's interminable bar mitzvah when the last prayer began: Hey mom, it's the grand finally!

2) Getting into Mom's elevator, after pressing "4" for her floor: (solemnly) 4 floors and 7 years ago...

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 25 May 04 - 09:01 PM

Mrrzy, with that aptitude, if the kid survives into adulthood, he'll do extremely well (actually, it'll be a miracle......)

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Flash Company
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:05 AM

Overheard from a five year old at the time when the Mary Poppins film first came round:-

In every job that must be done
There is an elephant for fun!

Sounded a better idea at the time.

FC

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: muppett
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:11 AM

When my daughter was at nursery she sang me the following song;

Who built the Ark?
No one, No one

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: semi-submersible
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:15 PM

My 5-year-old is getting saucy.

Last night, after the neighbour brought him home from a visit, young Michael hopped back into her truck, saying, "I'm coming home with you."

"Then you'll sleep with the dog," she said.

He shot back, "Thanks for the offer to sleep with the dog, but I think I'll just kick you out of your bed, and I'll sleep in it."

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:16 PM

Wow -- that kid has a lip on him, huh?? :>))

A

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,vectis
Date: 26 May 04 - 06:30 PM

When my two sons were 6 & 7 they went to a village school and one day on the drive home they suddenly pointed to a slurry tanker spraying a field and said
"Look mum it's the pooh gun"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 27 May 04 - 04:13 AM

Re-reading C-flat's 22 Dec post reminds me of a similar experience when I was the little kid with a head full of story books. A Sikh carpet salesman came down the entry to our row of houses (we were behind and above shops)and knocked on the kitchen door. I went to the door and came running into the shop(my aunt's hairdressers where my mother was working)and told the whole assembly: "There's a cannibal in the garden".
Parent apologised to salesman, salesman apologised for frightening child. Child with over active imagination never allowed to forget it!

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: s&r
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:32 AM

Friend's tale:

Josie and Andrew (5 and 7) had to sleep in the same room when their grandfather visited. Granddad went in one morning, pulled the curtains back, and said jovially
"Morning has broken!"

Josie: "It was Andrew."

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: s&r
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:33 AM

Should some Joeclone combine these threads?

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:43 AM

True story:- Teacher in a junior class asked the children to draw a picture of the Nativity.
One girl was asked by the teacher..Sally, you have drawn Mary and Baby Jesus..but who is the very fat man in the picture, is it supposed to be Joseph?
"No" replied Sally "It's round John"
Eventually the teacher discovered she had the idea for the picture as a result of the Carol "Silent Night" in which the words...........
"Round yon(Round John) virgin mother" and child stood out.
Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: Flash Company
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:06 AM

Another song!
We were sitting in the garden one sunny afternoon and our neighbour's Grandson, aged about five,was marching around singing.
My wife suddenly said 'What is he singing?'
I listened and replied' I can just hear his teacher saying 'Now children, how would they sing it in France?'
He was singing, Loudly:-

If you're happy and you know it do a wee-wee!

Well it only means one thing when your five!

FC

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: GUEST,Lovechild
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:26 PM

Overheard in a school classroom...Boy says to girl "There's a condomn behind the radiator" Girl replies "What's a radiator?"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:29 PM

Our little girl came in to mum and said "Daddy's F'ing the cat" What she meant was I was swearing at it. Never again,,,didn't know she could hear me.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:14 PM

I remember lots of the things I said as a child. I also remember, only too well, the taste of soap!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:22 AM

Last week our office had a fund-raiser for charity that involved colleagues getting their hair dyed or almost shaved off for money. We raised several thousands, which was great, but the highlight for me came from my friend's 7 year old daughter.

She was alseep when Daddy came home with neon coloured short hair (dunno what his fellow commuters thought of his hair - maybe he wasn't rhe only one on the train!)

Next morning he washed out the colour & at the brekkie table she asked about his new short hair. He explained that his colleagues had cut it off & that all the money raised went to help sick children. She asked why they had cut holes in it at the front. Dad's hair line is receding!!

That innocent comment reminds me of one made several decades ago. A 2 year old announced in a very loud voice in the middle of a party "Mummy's got long titties".

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Arnie
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:27 PM

Another one from my wife's school today. Little lad comes in and tearfully tells the teacher that he'd found a dead sparrow on the ground this morning - he explained that 'God took away it's heart'. How sweet!!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 May 05 - 03:09 PM

A child was telling the teacher and the class about the change in their homelife.

Their old dad had left now and they had been told that the new man in the house would like them to call him dad. His name - the child said was Ron Smith.

A voice from the back said - "Ron Smith - we had him - he was rubbish"!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 May 05 - 03:14 PM

A boy was asked how long he had been a Manchester United supporter and he replied - 6 years.

When asked how old he was - he said - 4.........

For 2 years - perhaps he was a Manchester Uterus supporter?

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: dwditty
Date: 03 May 05 - 03:24 PM

Child's display of Faith.

When my youngest was about 5 she lost a tooth. Her older sister, in a display of bubble burting, told her, "Aw, Mom is the tooth fairy." The reply from the 5 year old?

"Mom can't be the tooth fairy. She is home every night."

dw

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: mandoleer
Date: 03 May 05 - 05:27 PM

6 year old small cousin came flying across the room, landed heavily (she's not that small!) on me, gave me a moment to recover, and announced, 'Butterflies are symmetrical!'
Another cousin (now a lawyer) was watching one of the early moon shots on TV. Friend of her father said, 'Look Sabie, there's the rocket!' Sabie (2 and a half) looked at the screen and said, 'That's not the rocket, that's the lunar module.'
Same vein: Small thing in pushchair ignoring the world. Stout maiden aunt type pokes it, and tells it to 'Look at the gee-gee!' Small thing looks out of pushchair, says 'Horse' and goes back to ignoring everything.
On a personal note, I was asked (at 3 or 4) why I had almost all my toys spread about the floor. My reply: 'I'm making chaos!'

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 03 May 05 - 08:14 PM

Small girl at the school where I work was suffering frequent, and severe nosebleeds. One lunchtime she came up to me and said "I won't be at school tomorrow, 'cos I'm going to the hospickle to have my nose criticised".

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 May 07 - 09:42 AM

My 3.5 year old grandson gets frustrated easily when the words won't come out fast enough to express his views on the world. Lately, he's been resorting to using the word "hate" which we are discouraging as he is using it in hurtful ways. Last night he told his mom he wasn't going to use That Word any more. After a few moments, he then asked her "Who made that word, anyway?"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 May 07 - 09:28 PM

Tim, upon being vaccinated against some meningococcus - "Wait - me ninja cock what?"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Bert
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:23 AM

3 year old Dante was watching Ratatouille AGAIN and he sees Remy with a cheese knife, you know the kind that curves at the end and is bifurcated.

"Look Granma" he says "a rhinoceros knife"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 04:47 AM

On seeing a (UK) "No Right Turn" sign, the youngest grandbrat said

"BrynDad - no boomerangs allowed down there !"

You can't fault the logic . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Anne Lister
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 12:13 PM

Still remember the little blonde cutie who told me and the class I was teaching that they'd had a difficult time at the weekend because her dad had hurt his tentacles. Luckily I made the right guess and asked if it was his tendons that had been hurt ...
Then there was the 7 year old child who was listening to the story of how Sir Gawain got married. When he heard the test question of "What do women most want?" he put his hand up straight away. "Good sex", he said. The word went around the staffroom amazingly fast, all of us wondering just how he knew ...

And finally, my favourite mis-spelling of all time. A class I worked with recently had just been to visit the HMS Victory and another ship, known to some of them as the HMS Worrier. I think there's probably a whole novel in that one - motto "But what if...??"

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 12:30 PM

Those are great fun, folks!

I often tells friends to "give me a holler" when saying goodbye on the telephone. 4.5 yr. old Morgan asked me one day after I'd said such, "What's a holler?" You could just see the wheels, wondering if it was something he wanted, too!

For some reason, he has changed his most often used word "why" into "why-ah?" recently. Almost sounds like "why-aye!" Maybe it was that Mark Knopfler CD he's heard, though not recently!:-)

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids say!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jul 08 - 01:39 PM

The teacher was reading to the 3rd grade class when she came to the word 'frugal'. She asked the class if they knew it, and got no response.
"Well, it means 'saving'" she explained. "Can anyone use it in a sentence?"
There was a short silence, the Little Johnny raised his hand.

"A knight was out riding when he saw a princess being attacked by a dragon. "Frugal me, frugal me!", she cried...so he killed the dragon and frugaled her, and they lived happily everafter."