Know of any masturbation songs?

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Chris Green
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 07:21 AM

To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean"

My oneskin lies over my twoskin
My twoskin lies over my three
My threeskin lies over my fourskin
So peel back my fourskin for me

Peel back, peel back, oh peel back my foreskin for me, for me...etc

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: freda underhill
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 07:20 AM

yes, those words are from Hair (song name Sodomy)

SODOMY

Sodomy
Fellatio
Cunnilingus
Pederasty

Father, why do these words sound so nasty?

Masturbation
Can be fun
Join the holy orgy
Kama Sutra
Everyone!

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 07:04 AM

Acapella Stella         or is that just me that thinks that!

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 06:47 AM

Lyndsey de Paul's "Sugar Walls"?

Pointer Sisters, "Slow Hand"

"Touch me" (forget the perfomer)

"Do you want to touch" Gary Glitter.

I think Britney Spears just recorded one but I can't remember what it was called.

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 06:31 AM

Ellenpoly - that's from a song from "Hair", the theatrical version -
it wasn't included in the movie. I don't remember the words, but I believe the first line was "Masturbation, fellatio, cunnilingus, pederasty, Father, why do these words sound so nasty?"

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 06:02 AM

Only a wanker would start a thread like this !

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Hand-Pulled Boy
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:25 AM

Anything by Kate Rusby or Kate Bush.

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:24 AM

With these hands

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: GUEST,Judge dread
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:18 AM

To the tune of "Funiculi, funicula"

Last night, I contemplated masturbation!
I thought it would..do me good.
Tonight I shall repeat the operation,
I never tire, of pulling my wire.
First, you give it a long stroke,
Up and down, up and down, up and down,
Then you give it a short stroke,
Round and round, round and round, round and round.
And then you ease it, squeeze it
slap it on the floor, spank it, wank it, rub it up the door,
Some people say that sexual intercourse is absolutely grand....
But for personal satisfaction, I prefer to use my hand.

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: s&r
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 04:23 AM

Take five?

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Stewie
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:41 AM

There is a Michael Hurley song, the title of which escapes me at the moment, which includes the advice:

Use your left hand grandma
It feels like someone else
It feels like someone else

--Stewie.

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:39 AM

Some days I disguct myself

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:38 AM

I don't know any, but it strikes me that rhythm should be important, like in sea shanties. Perhaps some shanties could be converted? Let's see, you have capstan shanties and forebitters among others, so how about "head" shanties and foreskinners?

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:25 AM

"Masterbation can be fun
Join the Holy Orgy Kama Sutra
Everyone...."

I remember the line but not the song. I'm sure someone else will.

..xx..e

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: alanabit
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 02:47 AM

Willie and the Hand Jive is another one. I know several versions, but I have forgotten who did the original. No doubt someone here will remind me.

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Nerd
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:46 PM

Billy Bragg's "St. Swithin's Day" has the line

With my own hands
when I make love to your memory
It's not the same
I miss the thunder, I miss the rain.

And of course, the Buzzcocks' "Orgasm Addict."

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Joybell
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:35 PM

Joy's truelove here, with one i learned at Harvard in 1956, to the tune of Funiculi Funicula:


last night i lay awake and masturbated.
it felt so good. i knew it would.
last night i lay awake and masturbated.
it felt so nice. i did it twice.
my god! but you should see me on the short stroke.
it feels so grand; i use my hand.
my god! but you should see me on the long stroke.
it feels so neat: i use my feeeeet.
whack it! smack it! beat it on the floor!
kick it! flick it! shove it out the door! funiculi funicula etc etc

Well there goes my clean and decent image. True-love's True-love.

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:02 PM

"Golly, that would be sad, to finish in the short time it takes to say or sing a limerick!"

Is the Rime of the Ancient Mariner a limerick?

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 10:32 PM

"The Masturbation Blues" by R.B.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 10:08 PM

Onan, o Onan, the stuff of legend he,
The best-known of wankers in all of history.

I guess the rest of the songs are actually limericks. Golly, that would be sad, to finish in the short time it takes to say or sing a limerick!

~S~

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 10:03 PM

There really are several traditional ones we used to sing at our ivy league all-men's college back inthe 1960's. But I'd prefer to share them with a Guest that had the couresty to post a name.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Blackcatter
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:47 PM

Cyndi Lauper - She-Bop

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Blackcatter
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:44 PM

Violent Femmes

Blister In The Sun


When I'm out walking I strut my stuff yeah I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out
let me go on like I blister in the sun
let me go on big hands I know your the one
body and beats I stain my sheets I don't even know why
my girlfriend she's at the end she is starting to cry
let me go on like I blister in the sun
let me go on big hands I know your the one...

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:40 PM

Jackson Browne's 'Rosie'

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:31 PM

John Prine's song about 2 folks who never met, but made do, called "Donald And Lydia".

Contains the line, "Mostly they made love from ten miles away!"

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:22 PM

"Hey, hey, Uncle Jud,
It's a treat to beat your meat in the Mississippi mud...."

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Blackcatter
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:20 PM

Captain Jack by Billy Joel
Whole Lotta Rosie by AC/DC

Not folk, but not f*ck either . . .

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:14 PM

Jazz...

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:13 PM

I think you've spotted a hole in the market....go for it!

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:10 PM

Penis Envy by a group called Uncle Bonsai. SOL ZELLER

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: Once Famous
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:09 PM

Why? Do you need music to jerk-off by? Or are you just looking for inspiration?

Subject: RE: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: patriot1314
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:05 PM

The obvious one.... I'm a wanker by Ivor Biggun
there's also, Pictures of Lily by the Who
and Turning Japanese by the vapours.... (think facial expressions)

Subject: Know of any masturbation songs?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:02 PM