BS: Get to know Canada...please

Subject: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Willie-O
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 04:52 PM

This was in the Straightgoods.com newsletter...it's too funny to resist.


Now that Vancouver has won the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: We still use Beaver pelts.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, We don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big horse with horns.(USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 05:06 PM

ah, yes, Willie-o...important information any visitor will need! Can I have the movie rights as these folks get off the bus/plane/train and try to adhere to the rules?

(I grew up in Kansas... I was once on the ferry from Seattle to Juneau, and confessed my origin to some people from California...they asked, honestly, if there were places to tie up horses in Dodge City, and if the roads were paved. I wish now I had been cleverer in my replies)

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 05:10 PM

I kinda like those answers, buit the questions are really dumb!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Willie-O
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 05:33 PM

It sure helped me out. Just last week I was wondering why that big horse with horns was doing those terrible things to those poor stranded motorists...

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 09:01 PM

A couple of years ago I visited Quebec with my then girlfriend. She hated the fact that everyone spoke French (even though nearly all that we needed to converse with also spoke Engish) and remarked that she'll never go back to Canada because of the language.

I tried to explain to her that not all of Canada is French speaking, but really, I kind of gave up and broke up with her a couple weeks later. Believe it or not, she is a journalist with a business journal.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: kendall
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 09:10 PM

So, we in Maine don't get ALL of the stupid questions!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 09:11 PM

I thought that ship sunk? Are you OK?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 09:18 PM

He said in Maine, not on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 09:49 PM

Okay, all you Canadians. I've actually heard these myself when traveling Up There. Not all were Americans, either!

1. (To a gas station attendant in British Columbia): "Speakee Englishee?"

2. "Why don't you use REAL money here?"

3. "What the hell's that in REAL miles?"

4. "But HAIL, everbody in DALLAS takes 'merican Express!"

5. (To an Ontario Provincial Police Officer): "You can't be the police, you don't have a red coat."

6. (On Vancouver Island): "Is this where those really high tides come in?"

7. (At The Bay in Vancouver): "Do you still trade with the Indians for furs and things?"

8. (In downtown Quebec): "We haven't seen a single polar bear, John."

9. "Wow, they have CARS here! It's just like back home in Memphis!"

10. (In Beaver Creek, Yukon): "Does it snow here?"

Really and truly, I've heard these with my own ears. And sometimes my wife and I started speaking French as a cover!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: open mike
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 10:41 PM

but seriously, folks, this seems like a great way to see canada:
March 19-23, 2005
VANCOUVER TO TORONTO COWBOY TRAIN
The Tom Russell Cowboy Train will feature top legends of Western Poetry and Song:
Tom Russell, Andrew Hardin, Don Edwards, Ramblin' Jack Elliott, Wylie and the Wild West and Paul Zarzyski.
Intimate concerts, workshops, song swaps and the sprawling landscape of Canada:
over Tete Jaune (Yellowhead) Pass in the Rockies, across the vast prairies and
through the magnificent, austere Shield in gorgeous 1950's domeliner equipment.
$2489 CN per person (approx $1800 US as of 6/1) gets you hotel in Vancouver and Toronto,
sleeper berth, non-stop music and all meals on board, plus a concert in Vancouve and farewell celebration in Toronto.
Fans and pickers alike will treasure this experience!
Limited to 70 passengers, as of June 1 only 40 spaces remain; reserve your space now!
2-person private rooms (with sink and water closet) available at $300 CN (approx $220 US) per person additional.
Call Charlie Hunter toll free at 866-484-3669 or email him at [e-mail].
He'll be happy to talk about the trip and answer any questions you might have.

Click Here For PDF Information/Sign Up Form
http://www.tomrussell.com/TomTrain05_Flyer.pdf
www.rootsontherails.com
http://www.flyingunderradar.com/

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 12:42 AM

Train is one of the great ways to do it. I have travelled from Halifax to Vancouver by train--on different trips--and it is a mind blower. Loved it, and I intend to take that trip one more time before I kick off. Years back, as part of a "Touch the Earth" radio show 'revival', a gang of singer/songwriters were recorded on the train and a record was released from those recordings. Loved the trip. It was memorable and a heckuva lotta fun.

Bruce Murdoch.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Den
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 10:48 AM

Very funny Willie-O, LOL. We have the Hippo races here in Halifax too 'cept the Hippos from here speak with an accent and refer to everyone as, "buddy", which is a little disconcerting as we all know how bad tempered they can be at times.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: el ted
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 10:53 AM

Canada? Isn't that in Texas?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 01:57 PM

From here in Detroit you can see a big sign over in Windsor that says Canadian Club. Is that like some kind of tomahawk?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 01:57 PM

I don't know, many of these questions make sense to me. The stupidest one I ever heard with my own ears was standing looking at the Eiffel Tower about 400 yards ahead, and someone (American alas) said: "Is this Paris?" For a brief moment, I thought I was dealing with star crossed lovers, or an existentialist or a druggie or jet-lagged drunks, or a bus tour, but it was a sort of normal looking guy asking his girlfriend a serious question.


Festival Express is a new movie about the 1970 cross-Canada rail-rock and roll trip taken by Janis Joplin and others.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: kendall
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 02:03 PM

You have to wonder how these nit wits hold a job.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 03:49 PM

I was in a hotel in Shannon, Ireland, getting ready to leave for the State the next morning. I was with a whole bunch of touring Knights of Columbus (never again!) and had just left the bar with a pint of Guinness in hand when an American tourist said to me, "Ah'm jist dyin' fer a Co'cola! WhereEVER did you git such a nice sized on?" I told her to go into the bar and get what everyone else was having -- to tell the barman "pull a pint, please."

Never did find out what happened....

I'm reminded of another Canadian experience: "They have SALT up here and it's just like we have back in Miami!"

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 03:53 PM

Really though, if Canada is such a wonderful place, why is it on the same continent with the U.S. and Mexico? Shouldn't it had moved out of the neighborhood years ago?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 03:57 PM

We're too polite to complain. ;o)

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 04:32 PM

The sugar tasts different though.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 04:33 PM

And it tastes different too...

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 05:37 PM

I know that most Canadians speak pretty decent English, but why, when we landed at Toronto Airport, was I looking at the sign that read 'Sortie' and translating it to English, when it was in English underneath?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 05:45 PM

That is not a Canadian issue, darlin, but an English one!! :>))

A

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 05:50 PM

Was it sortie like and "Exit" sign?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: open mike
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 06:04 PM

i thought a sortie was a bombing radi..

and here is a blurb about the movie mentioned above..
FESTIVAL EXPRESS.
"Should rightfully take its place in rock history as one of the great
performance films of all time.' Richard James Havis, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER.
In 1970, a train journeyed across Canada carrying some of the greatest rock
bands of the time. Janis Joplin, The Band, The Grateful Dead, Delaney &
Bonnie, Buddy Guy, Ian & Sylvia and others lived (and partied) together for
five days, giving concerts where and when they stopped.
Festival Express was planned as a festival with a difference -- it would be
portable. The artists would be showcased at festival sites spanning the
breadth of the Canadian heartland, from Toronto to Calgary -- and
transportation was by chartered train. This proved to be a stroke of
genius, indelibly stamping the event with an aura of magic.
see SF Chronicle Review at
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/07/23/DDG257QUIA1.DTL

I remember hearing about one fellow who could have been in that train video, or at least i heard he made music on trains in canada..He was
drowned in a flash flood in the south west (TX, Ariz, N.Mex?) a few years back....any one know who i mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 06:14 PM

I know that most Canadians speak pretty decent English, but why, when we landed at Toronto Airport, was I looking at the sign that read 'Sortie' and translating it to English, when it was in English underneath?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 06:22 PM

Liz,

That's the first time I've ever seen a double post separated by 37 minutes!


I've always thought it odd that Canadian culture is less like British culture. The sortie/exit sign is one example. Usually in the U.K. the sign would be "way out."

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 09:21 PM

And...some of Canada's most famous exports:

Neil Young, Gordon Lightfoot, Ian & Sylvia, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Leonard Cohen, Bruce Cockburn, Joni Mitchell...and more recently, Shania Twain, Alanis Morissette, and Celine Dionne...and best of all.... (drum roll) ... William Shatner!!!!!

And Canada's most treasured musical import...the expatriate southern American singer, Jesse Winchester!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 10:02 PM

Ack! You can keep Winchester! In what part of Canada does he live?

In the export category don't forget Dan Ackroyd, Martin Short, Dave Foley, John Candy, Rick Moranis, and Dave Thomas, although you've kept some of the best for yourself, like Rick Mercer, Mary Walsh, Cathy Jones, Greg Thomey, and Buddy Wassisname.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 10:26 PM

Huh? What have you got against Jesse Winchester? He did some great tunes. I believe he is living in Quebec, but I'm not quite sure. He might be farther east than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: GUEST,Obie
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 10:49 PM

Years ago I was camping in nortern Maine. In answer to a Question from a man in the next campsite; "Where ya'all from?" I told him "Nova Scotia". "Is it very cold way up there ?" "Actually no, because Nova Scotia is southeast of here." He just could not comprehend that Nova Scotia could be where I said until I took out a map and showed him.
                   Obie
P.S. My humble apology to all U.S.A. weathermen for sending you all that cold weather from Canada that you frequently mention in your forecasts.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 12:18 AM

G'day Willie-O,

I see that set of silly questions has been retreaded ... again! I doubt that the version I saw in 1999 ... before the Sydney Olympic Games ... was original - and I'm sure there is something equally rude to the tourist influx to Greece will be floating about the Athens end of the Web.

However, someone must have really been anxious to stir the Canadian / US (and a few others) pot ... to have this out in anticipation of the 2010 Winter Olympics!

Regards(les)s,

Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 12:39 AM

I don't know, LH. Just rubs me the wrong way, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 02:32 AM

Jesse's in Montreal last I heard.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 03:15 AM

OK. How about some questions asked by tourists at the Banff National Park Information Kiosk?

1. How do the Elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?

2. At what elevation does an Elk become a Moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
    Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "
    Tourist: "Oh".

4. Are the Bears with collars tame?

5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?

26. Don't you Canadians know anything?

27. Where do you put the animals at night?

28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
      Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom".
      Tourist: "Oh!"

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 05:40 AM

Has anyone asked the one question that has been plaguing me for decades (hey, Ellenpoly, get a LIFE!)...

Do all Canadians end their sentences with "eh", eh?

;-D


..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 10:20 AM

We also had a lovely bumpersticker - group of faces with huge toothpaste smiles & the caption - "Keep taking your medication, our overseas visitors must not suspect a thing"

One of our radio stations asked listeners for advice for tourists, & they were brilliant. I can only remember a few of them, one was about taking bicyles from riders as the Givernment provides them for everyone to use, another was to remove all clothes, not just shoes as Japanese peole do, before entering a home.

But then I cocmpletely ignored the 2000 Olympics & will do again in a few weeks when the 2004 games start taking over the world of the media.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 02:22 PM

"Eh" is a very, very good word, Ellenpoly. It has many subtle permutations and shades of meaning. Unfortunately, not all Canadians use it regularly. In Newfoundland, "right" ("roite") and a particular sound that can't be spelled out, and I can't even describe, but is as versatile as "eh", are more commonly used.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 03:24 PM

Eh is a very cool expression, eh? We use it a lot in Ontario. You can pretty well use it at the end of, like, pretty well anything, eh? It's like an all porpoise word, eh? The French don't, like, use it much because they don't speak English too good, eh? That is there loss! The people out west don't use it cos they are embarzaessed to be Canadian, eh? They should all just move to the USA in my opnion and then we real Canadians from ONtario cvould mvoe out there and fix the place up, eh? To be in good shape a town needs at least one Tim Hortons, 2 bars, a Beer Store, and a LCBO, and a strip joint, eh?

I used "eh" a lot in this, like, post so's you would, like, get the idea, eh?

Decent.

- BDiBR

p.s. brucie, don't get upset over what I said about people out west. You are an exception and I would not mean to insult you, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 03:36 PM

No offence taken, buddy.

Maybe one of the best kept secrets in the world is how to pronounce 'eh'. It is done like the 'ey' in hey. Of course, after a few brew it starts to sound like 'eh'. And get pronounced like 'eh'. So, sentences like, "You saw that too, eh, eh?" make sense. A very erudite people are Canadians. And a good answer would be, "Eh? Eh! Eh."

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 03:41 PM

BDiBR... beauty, eh!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 08:07 PM

Carol...Flippin' A, eh!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 06 Aug 04 - 11:16 PM

Isn't it about time for us all to join hands and sing Oh Canada, eh?


By the way, Living in the shadow of Disney World, I often find Canadian coins in my change. If I were to mail them to one of you Canadians, could you exchange them for real money?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 12:09 AM

You bet. I suppose you want it sent back, too?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:59 AM

ha!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Joe_F
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 10:16 AM

There ain't nothing between the North Pole & Texas but a barbwire fence. -- Texan saying (I won't try to do the accent)

One time, on a newsgroup, we were lamenting the ignorance of Canada in the U.S. As an example, I said: Given a blank map of the contiguous U.S., I could probably pencil in the states pretty nearly; but when it comes to Canada -- which comes first, Saskatchewan or Manitoba? To which a Canadian retorted: They both come last.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 11:19 AM

Did Saskatchewan join too? Cool.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 11:37 AM

Texas, the Prussia of America

As for Canada, I'll take Nunavut!

OK Canadians, Here's a quiz, let's see how knowledgeable you are about the land to your north.



Nunavut quiz

1)Why is April 1,1999, the most important date in Nunavut history?

a) Becomes a new Territory
b) Gains oil rights
c) Mining rights
d) separates from Canada.


2) What is Nunavut's Capital?

a) Nuvik
b) Inuvik
c) Iqaluit
d) Innuktuk


3) What does Nunavut mean in Inuktitut?

a) Our Land
b) Endless sun
c) midnight sun
d) new land


4) When did Nunavut residents vote on whether to create a new territory?

a) April, 1982
b) June 1990
c) March, 1985
d) April 1983


5) In what year does Nunavut become a new Territory?

a) 2000
b) 1999
c) 2001
d) 2002


6) When did the Government of Canada and representatives for the Inuit of Nunavut sign the historic agreement?

a) July 9, 1997
b) June 9, 1993
c) July 9, 1993
d) August 10, 1993


7) How big is Nunavut (approximately)?

a) 2,500,000 square kilometers
b) 5,000,000 square kilometers
c) 2,000,000 square kilometers
d) 2,000,500 square kilometers


8) Who is the interim Commissioner for Nunavut?

a) William Noontik
b) Jack Anawak
c) John Ounack
d) John Nanook


9) What are the official languages of Nunavut?

a) Inuktitut
b) English and French
c) Inuktitut, Innuinaqtun, English and French
d) Innuinaqtun


10) What is the approximate population of Nunavut?

a) 26,000 people
b) 25,000 people
c) 20000 people
d) 260,000 people


11) When was the last time the map of Canada was changed?

a) 1867
b) 1949
c) 1901
d) 1970


12) When did the Nunavut Act pass Parliament?

a) June 1993
b) June 1994
c) June 1992
d) December1994


13) What report help design the Nunavut Government?

a) Interim report on Nunavut Government
b) Footprints in New Snow
c) Midnight Sun Recommendations
d) Our Land


14) What is the proposal to deal with criminals in the new territory of Nunavut?

a) Prison at Yellowknife
b) Sending to Alaska
c) sending them south
d) isolated camps

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 11:41 AM

I just got back from Newfoundland. Boy, are my arms tired. And the water's c-c-c-cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 12:08 PM

GUEST, Obie:

You needn't apologize to the weather broadcasters for sending all the cold weather. After all, they should thank you, for providing the materials of their trade.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: HuwG
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 12:24 PM

I visited Canada many years ago, and spent most of the time around the mining communities in North Ontario and Quebec, in late winter / early spring. (I didn't see much of Toronto or Niagara; it was throwing it down when I went there, and nothing was visible beyond fifty yards or above two stories.)


My impressions, or observations were that:

Canada is made of:-
    25% ice-covered lake
    25% trees
    25% bog (with trees)
    25% bare rock.

(On the other hand, a trip as far as Mattagami in Quebec would suggest that 99% trees is closer to the real total, and the amount of bare rock is exaggerated close to any working mine or smelting operation. For example, the geology around Sudbury, Ontatio, is believed to be an "astrobleme" i.e. originally derived from a meteor impact. The varions nickel extraction companies seemed determined to recreate the appearance of the landscape immediately following the impact.)

In Ontario, they speak accented but clear and lucid English. In Quebec they speak incomprehensible French. Not just French, which most English people mangle horribly anyway, but a variety of French that many Frenchmen would struggle with.

Ice hockey is simultaneously the religion, wallpaper, and background music of Ontario.

The north wind goes far beyond any quality that could be described as "bracing". It also seemed to be the wind most heavily laced with suplhur fumes from various smelting plants, I suspect because the sulphur would emerge from the stack, shiver uncontrollably in the blast from the arctic and then huddle as close to the ground as it could get.

Against any implied or express criticism in the above, I found that all Canadians and Quebecois were friendly, direct and welcoming.

I wasn't as heavily into music then as I am now, and didn't hear much of it on that trip, nor did I make much effort to seek it out. I regret that now, but should I ever win the lottery, or earn enough to do more than just stay ahead, I hope to make it back to Canada some day, and see more of the place.

Best wishes to all in Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 04:38 PM

By the way,

I'll post the answers to the quiz soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 05:47 PM

I note that in the 11 years I've been coming up to Toronto for an annual filk music convention, I've only heard the infamous "Eh?" once, from a waitress at a coffee shop.

-- Gary

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 06:48 PM

GG: She was an American trying to pass.

We seldom use the expression here, but because we want the world to think we're quaint, we encourage folks to think that we do. And from generation to generation, one of the things that gets drummed into us as we grow up is to make sure that if anyone asks if we say 'eh' at the ends of sentences, we say, "Yes, eh." Otherwise our citizenship is revoked.

Except for Ontario people. They use 'eh' lots. Just ask my Ontario buddies, eh?!.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: freda underhill
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 09:18 PM

New Zealanders also have this "eh"happening at the end of sentences.. and like in Canada - there are a lot of Scots in NZ - eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Scoville
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 10:39 PM

Don't forget Lorne Greene . . .

I'd like to see more of Canada. I just got back from five days in the Quetico but all I know from that is that the pine squirrels chatter in the same accent as the gray squirrels down here in Texas.

My grandparents were midwesterners (Illinois/Iowa) but spent a lot of time canoeing in the boundary waters area. I've always suspected that that affected my dad; he has way too much in common with Red Green.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 04:30 AM

Little Hawk, did you forget Ann Murray?

Canada must be a nice place, I have relatives who went there 80 years ago, and never came back. Except one in 1940, in uniform.

You can forgive people for thinking it is cold there when you read stories about stocking rivers with trout in spring, and if they are not caught then they die when the river freezes solid in winter, and then next spring, they stock the river with trout.....

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: *daylia*
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 06:31 AM

Canada is made of:-
    25% ice-covered lake
    25% trees
    25% bog (with trees)
    25% bare rock.

If you're speaking about Ontario and Quebec, then I'd say you are about 99% accurate, HuwG. About 75% or more of Canada's population live in Ontario and Quebec - on only about 35% of her geography.

(While some countries have way too much history, Canada has, like, way too much geography eh?)

Go west of Ontario on the Trans Canada, and you'll find only about

10% ice-covered lakes (in the winter of course -- only about 9 months/year in Alta and Sask ;-)
2% trees
1% bog (no trees)
7% oil wells
0% bare rock
40% sagebrush, prairie grass, wheat and canola fields
40% big big BIG SKY!!!!


Now keep going even farther west and you'll find Canada becomes

100% mountains, consisting of
15% ice-covered lakes
10% rushing crystal-clear glacial rivers
35% big big BIG trees
25% bare rock
15% clear-cuts :-(

Ok hang in ... one last ferry ride across the Straits of Georgia and .... we're on the Island! Where it's ....

0% ice-covered lakes (no ice)
10% absolutely breathtaking mountain and ocean scenery, and ...
90% FOG and RAIN

.... Are we there yet????

Hope you do make it back someday HuwG

daylia

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Willie-O
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 09:58 AM

That's an interesting quiz BlackCatter, but sure has details...1993, 1994, who the hell remembers? Is this a test of research abilities.

And it's dated, there is no "interim commissioner" in the present tense--Premier Paul Okalik has just been re-elected for his second term in office.

I'd like to go to Nunavut someday though. I actually know a lot of musicians that have played in Iqaluit.

Brucie:
Your mention of a cross-country train recording related to the CBC radio show "Touch the Earth" interests me. Do you have any more details? As I recall, Touch the Earth was hosted by Sylvia Tyson, who was also one of the Canadian musicians riding the 1970 Festival Express. Maybe that's where the idea came from...

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peter T.
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 11:04 AM

Ask Pam Swan to do your quiz, she just came back from Nunavit (The only person I know who has been there, and a Yankee to boot).

Alas, contrary to the percentages above, the huge population increases of human beings in the south of the country are wrecking (1) the Grade A agricultural land; (2) the Carolinian forest and the mixed forest around all urban areas; (3) cottage country. Go to a park like Banff and you can see what a mess we have been making of this country. It is hardly unspoiled nature.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 12:48 PM

Willie-O,

I have the vinyl record somewhere. I will find it and get the details to you soon. The liner notes may have the details my old mind can
t remember. Like all of them--except we were on a train. I did the bit from Edmonton to Vancouver then flew back. Doug Lennox, Bill Garrett and Paul Mills were on the trip. It was coast to coast for them. Touch the Earth was a CBC radio show, and Sylvia was the hostess. When I get details, I'll message you.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 01:37 PM

Peter T, I've travelled throughout Banff National Park for the past 12 years and still don't consider myself well seasoned. If all tourists see is the Banff corridor on either side of the road, Lake Louise or a few ski resorts, yeah it's hardly pristine.

However I assure you, if you head up into the headwaters of the Panther, Clearwater or Red Deer rivers or in from Kananaskis country to the Palliser or Burstall Pass areas or have ever stood above the treeline on Pulsatilla Pass and have not been overwhelmed by prisitne wilderness, something is decidedly wrong with your senses or your perception of the massiveness of the Park area.

I have been in that Park during the height of tourist season, in valleys and mountains where I haven't seen another living soul in 5 days, other than those with whom I was travelling. Banff is huge and does have serious human impact problems in a few parts, but Banff is not just what you can experience from the well beaten path or highway.

And.....

Just a damned minute here, I know we want to keep this Island a secret, lest we get even more incoming migration, but no ice on Vancouver Island? Not familiar with the Comox Glacier ? Ever considered climbing Mt. Golden Hinde at 8,799 feet or a few others such as Mt. Colonel Foster, without encountering ice and snow, even in summer?

Fog? Fog? Rain? I live in an area of the Island where I can count foggy days on one hand and the rainfall on parts of the east coast of the Island, in the rainshadow of our mountains is quite often less than 27 inches in a year. Almost half of that experienced by Vancouver.

Come on Canadians, get out of your car........and get to know Canada....please.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 04:41 PM

Metchosin,

I live in Hinton, just 90 km from Jasper. Banff and Jasper are there for the tourist dollars, and what you say about the tourist areas is true.

Canada is vast. Vaster than even Canadians can understand. We have still got places where no one has gone--I don't mean areas measured in square miles, I mean areas measured in hundreds of square miles. People who leave the 'beaten paths' can likely and literally be assured that they have gone where no one has gone before.

How to explain . . . . Near Tall Cree Reserve there is a pelican nesting ground--imagine, pelicans in north central Alberta. Our country touches three oceans. We have areas that reach 120 F, and others that reach -60 F. We have desert, tundra, mountains of such beauty there are no words. Trees: yeah, we got lots. Ice, snow, yeah, we got lots. This place is home to about 20% of the world's fresh water. Travel the Mackenzie with its silt and rapids on its seemingly-endless journey to the Arctic Ocean. Try the Fraser--but watch for its ability to swat humans. We know so little about that kind of power.

Every year Canadians watch geese--millions of them--forming their vees for their annual migrations. Occasionally, a swan will get into the vee and go along with them. And every year we look at their departure as the real sing that winter is coming. We have a sneaking suspicion that the weather bureau does that, too. We have lakes that have swallowed big boats and their crews. Tides in the Bay of Fundy are over 25 feet. The Bay is where one of the largest Great Whites was netted. We have Greenland sharks in the Saguenay River near LaBaie, Quebec.

I have been to lakes in many provinces that are home to Northern pike--what most of us call jackfish. Lotsa bones, but one will feed a family of six, no problem. Canada is home to some remarkable creatures: polar bears that think little of a two-hundred mile swim; cougars that have to kill often during winter because their dentition is such that they cannot eat food after is freezes--they have no way to tear it. Wolverines--one of God's neater creatures. Mean as your ex and twice as nasty, but beautiful to see.

The Arctic ptarmigan (don't pronounce the p) that makes a good meal, but really is too beautiful to kill for less than survival purposes. Grouse that do a 'chicken dance', a dance that is imitated skillfully by First Nations people at pow-wows and other special events. The 'horse' with horns--moose--is the largest member of the deer family. One will give you enough meat to live for a half year. Other than rutting season during which the bulls become very unpredictable--well, maybe that's the wrong term. If a bull moose falls 'in love' with your Volkswagen, you have major problems. Get away from you car and let him have his way with it. There was a moose in Newfoundland that had to be tranquilized and hauled away because he had his eye on a certain moo-moo cow in a fellow's field. The bull would not leave. Eventually the people in the area took pity on him--fearing he would starve to death rather than desert his 'object of desire' and shot him with a tranquilizer dart and got him back into the bush.

The Laurentians are a mountain range that at one time were connected to the hills of Scotland. They are an old, weatherd range, but to see them in the fall when the various leaves on trees turn red, orange, yellow--it really gives meaning to the words of Jesse Winchester in his song, "Yankee Lady." ("I often walked down a country road, with a million flaming trees . . . ") He was talking about Vermont, but someone from there would see no difference were they to wake up in that part of Quebec and determine their location based on the fauna/flora that surrounded them.

I have often derided Saskatchewan because if you stand on a chair, you'll be able to see for at least a thousand miles. That is exaggeration of course. But, not a big exaggeration, as long as it's a normal-sized chair.

Mount Royal, around which the city of Montreal grew, is a dormant volcano. The Canadian Shield is miles and miles of--right--miles and miles. But it was such landscape that entranced the Group of Seven (and Tom Thompson); it inspired them to create a new form of painting that is distinctly Canadian. No one from northern Quebec, Ontario or Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta or British Columbia coud look at their paintings and not say, "Hey, I have been there."

The Maritimes in the east of Canada: WOW! Boys from parts of Burin Bay Arm (Placentia Bay) will think nothing of making a run to get the French stuff. Small boats, open ocean. Cheaper in St Pierre-Miquelon than on The Rock. The same people will tell you about the fellow whose body got caught under a bridge, and the divers who went to untangle his body had to get the eels out of him before they could rise him to the surface. They hate eels to this day. Those people introduced me to cod's head soup, cod cheeks, cod tongue, cracker berries, and even one fellow told me to ignore his friend who was pointing out schooners, trawlers, punts, dingie, etc., to a mainlander who knew little about the ships on the ocean or the ways of the sea. He put his arm across my shoulder and said, "Bruce, ignore that asshole. Them's boats." We all laughed. Fact is, them's people. And they are wonderful.

The watchman behind the Schooner Beer factory in Halifax found me sitting on the bow of the Bluenose II. He politely told me I shouldn't be there. I apologized and explained that I hadn't known it was a NO TRESPASSING area. He and I talked there for over half an hour, and he told me stories of Halifax and the Bluenose.

Unless you have seen a sunrise in Calgary--well, Kodac or Fuji don't make a film to capture all the colours.

This place is worth getting to know. I have been trying to for most of my life, and God willing, I will yet get to see Nahanni Falls, canoe from Fort Chipewyan to Winnipeg, walk the shores of Vancouver Island, and spend a day in Yukon--where a day can last for months. I am in love with this country and its people, proud of its attempts to make peace where it can.

The people tend not to brag of their exploits--and maybe that's part of the national character. Read sometime of the paratroopers who jumped into a blizzard in minus forty degree to rescue people whose plane had crashed in the Arctic. They all volunteered. When they arrived, the pilot had frozen to death. He had given his coat to a passenger who was injured. Two days before they were brought out. It made the papers for a short while and faded into history.

Indeed, as Metchosin says, get out of the car. I don't think you will be sorry you did. I know you won't be sorry you did.

Bruce M

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 06:11 PM

you brought tears to my eyes, brucie. Some pretty special place, eh.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 06:32 PM

I forgot to mention Anne Murray because I only listen to her when I've got really bad insomnia...and it works great! Out like a light. Then I wake up 8 hours later and can't remember what it was that put me to sleep in the first place till the next time I get insomnia again. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 07:44 PM

Do (USA) Americans really not say "Eh", or is it just they don't say it quite as frequently as Canadians ?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:07 PM

We don't really say it at all. Of the North American countries, it seems to be a pretty distinctly Canadian thing. That's why US Americans like to make such a big deal of it. They're (we're) not used to hearing it in every day speech.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:13 PM

Mostly, if we're going to punctuate the end of our sentences with a sound that isn't quite a word, we say, "huh?", or something like that.

Example: "That tetanus shot wasn't so bad, huh?"

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:17 PM

It's an Ontario thing. And in Ontario, it's sort of a lower class thing (to some extent). That is to say, the less articulate people tend to say it a lot at the end of their statements, while the more articulate use it only occasionally or not at all.

Thus, Doug and Bob McKenzie were a satire of the dumbest of dumb young, single, unemployed, layabout, drunken Ontario guys, and they used "eh" almost constantly, eh? Beauty, eh? Take off, eh!

Since more Canadians live in Ontario than in any other province, it sometimes almost seems like Ontario IS Canada, eh? (But don't say that outside Ontario!)

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:26 PM

Where's Ontario?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:36 PM

But eh's still a really great word, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:46 PM

Yeah, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 08:59 PM

Ontario is a city in Southern California. There's an airport and ther used to be an international speedway. Where I learned to drive (the speedway, not the airport).

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 09:10 PM

Hey, I seem to remember Stan Rogers way, way back when saying that Ontario qualified for Equalization Payments! That still true?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 09:14 PM

Yes, and there's a terrific air museum in Ontario, California, with some rare WWII warbirds on display!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 09:54 PM

It's at the point where the whole darned country qualifies for equalization payments.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 10:13 PM

Yeah! I'm still waiting for mine, as a matter of fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 10:20 PM

Ain't that the truth.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Willie-O
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 06:13 AM

Variations on the simple "eh":

"and that, eh." as
"let's pick up a couple two-fours but watch out for the RIDE programs and that, eh."

and the less common:
"and everything like that, eh." I had a first aid instructor last year who ended every sentence he spoke with this. He said it really fast so you couldn't understand it at all until you realized it was just his way of ending a sentence.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 11:46 AM

"eh" is used occasionally on the Westcoast when one is seeking agreement or acknowledgement instead of "Yes? or No?" as in, "You would like this one, eh? Otherwise, as Little Hawk noted, very little speech here is rife with the expression.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 12:10 PM

You can, like, gauge the smallness of someone's like IQ eh? By...like...observing how often they, like, say "like" and "eh", eh? If they, like, end every, like, sentence with "eh", eh, then they are, like, not the brightest bulb in the store, eh? And all that, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 12:16 PM

Does that mean like, all the brightest bulbs like, have moved west, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 12:40 PM

Guess you guys answered my question about "eh", eh? (I was always good at picking up other languages.)

Brucie, your love letter to Canada was just wonderful.

If I can figure out a way of leaving my weather-wimp body and astrally projecting myself there (of course, with permission from William Shatner who could stay behind in my body and keep taking showers) the one thing I'd absolutely love to see is the Aurora Borealis. Just how far North does one have to get to see that amazing sight?


eh?


..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 01:31 PM

I've seen it from central Alberta a few times. (East of Red Deer about 200 miles.) Often from Edmonton, and certainly here in Hinton.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 01:52 PM

I've seen it from Manistique, in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, which is south of most of Canada. It's pretty cool.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 02:44 PM

Yes, we have a friend from Edmonton who uses it. He's a well educated professional. But he does use it somewhat sparingly.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 03:55 PM

The most stupid question about Canada came from my father.   We live in Souteast Michigan and went over to Windsor for a day trip.   While in a store, he was going to buy some items and asked me "Are all of the prices in Canadian dollars?"   No dad- they price them in American dollars to make it easy for the tourists.

Of course Canadians don't know much about Canada either.   Two years ago I was in Jack Astors.   On the bottom of the bill where the taxes were, it would always say Jean's Tax, and Mike's Tax.    This year it had switched to Ernie's tax.   I asked 20 people what Ernie's last name was.   The best I got was Ernie Els.   I said no- he is a golfer from South Africa.   Not a single person on the outside porch knew who the premier of ontario was. (Ernie Eaves)   Since my waiter was named Sam I wrote a Dr. Seuss parody out of it called Green Eaves and Sam.

It hasn't gotten any better. I was at Home County folk festival in London Ontario and back at Jack Astor's porch.   Now the bill said Paul's tax and Dalton's Tax.   I asked 20 people what Dalton's last name was.   Not only didn't they know, they didn't care.   They told me they could care less who the premier was.   (Dalton McGinty) Now I don't feel so bad about how stupid we Americans are.

PS- Check out the Wendall Ferguson song "Rocks and Trees"

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 04:13 PM

You're always welcome here, Larry.

I feel bad about how little most Canadians know about this country, and knowing that Americans have the same problem doesn't make me feel one bit better.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 04:14 PM

The actual fact was, they couldn't have cared less what his last name is....but they couldn't care less about good grammar either, I'm sure.

Ellenpoly, you get to SHOWER WITH SHATNER????? OOOOO! You lucky, lucky woman! :-) You know, I think you may be revealing too much when you say these things.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM

Oh Little Hawk, do pay closer attention, dear.

William Shatner has been channelling through me now for ages. It just so happens that he choosed to do this on occasion while I'm soaping up. I have NO CONTROL over this whatsoever, and would greatly appreciate it if he'd at least wait until I had some clothes on!

And if his behaviour is ANY indication of what you Canuks get up to, then, well, what can I say?


eh?


;-D

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 04:30 PM

We're Canadians. What's a shower, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 05:44 PM

I've seen the aurora in central Illinois, fer goshsakes.

If you do a web search for "aurora pictures" you'll find lots of sites with them. You'll also find a site for Aurora Pictures, but that's a movie company or something. I believe that the aurora center in Alaska still makes predictions. And the aurora has been seen over England, but you do need darkskies for the best viewing.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: TS
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 06:50 PM

Having spent my University Days working part-time as a voice for the Tourism New Brunswick and the Tourism Nova Scotia 1-800 numbers I have been dealt alot of great questions. Some of my favorites...

1) So, once I get to Nova Scotia, how far do I have to drive to go skiing? (asked this in July)

2) When I get in to the Airport (halifax) with the Car Agent know how to speak English?

3) (upon telling a Client the price of his hotel room) Now, I dont remember if we (the US) own y'all or if England still does, so is the price in US Dollars or British Pounds?

4) The ferry gets in Nova Scotia at 1pm. How long is it to drive to Britain from Halifax?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Willie-O
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 10:18 PM

Yup, Canadian ignorance is mighty common, we just don't brag on it that much. We're too self-effacing.

Ernie Eves was one of those temporary premiers whom nobody (except his own riding constituents) elected as such, he inherited the job when Harris resigned, then got his ass kicked in the subsequent election (which he called). Ha. Forgettable loser. McGuinty's name is harder to pronounce and spell, but I don't think there's an excuse for not knowing who he is if you live in Ontario and are over 12.

And I frequently see the Aurora Borealis here in southeastern Ontario, at about 43 degrees north.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Blackcatter
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 11:21 PM

Can't see the Aurora Borealis here in Florida, but I can step out my front door and watch every rocket from Kennedy Space Center goe up. Close enough to hear the faint rumble too.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: el ted
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 04:07 AM

I am banking on the fact that Canadians are too genteel to go in for a vulgar race for the 100th post!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: *daylia*
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 07:52 AM

Well we're too genteel to be (visibly) offended by the words "homo milk", "homo sapiens" or "homo nym" these days.

"Homo nym pho" is still a bit iffy tho ...

;-)   daylia

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 08:51 AM

Toronto will be O.K.............when it is finished.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 08:53 AM

And, yes..............I have been.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 08:55 AM

My memories of Banff are from the late 70's- but the ride up to Jasper remains in muy mind as one of the most beautiful I have ever driven.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 10:27 AM

A radio personality here (Detroit) here plays "Dead or Canadian" on his show. He names a minor celebrity -- e.g., Saul Bellow -- and the contestant on the phone has to say whether the celeb is dead or Canadian. The listeners generally display woeful ignorance, all the more so because they have half a chance, literally, of guessing correctly.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 10:47 AM

There's a difference? Speaking of dead or Canadian and ignorance in the same breath, I had no idea that Faye Wray was sort of Canadian until she died the other day.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 10:58 AM

Well, she DID allow herself to be fondled by an ape, so let's keep the Canadian connection quiet. Sssssssshhhhhhhhhuuussshh.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 08:30 PM

I just reread Metchosin's post and I do apologize. I did not see the 'she died' for some reason, or I saw it and it didn't register. If I had, I would NOT have posted what I did above.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 08:41 PM

What counts as "sort of" Canadian?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 08:44 PM

Alberta, Newfoundland and Quebec.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 09:12 PM

CarolC, although she was born here, she only lived here for a short time as a child. I figure, as she resided in the States for 80 or 90 years, she more or less qualified as an American, but if you don't want her, we could probably find some place to bury her here, somewhere, there's plenty of room.

Considering your flagrant public relationship with a goat, brucie, aren't you being a bit of a hypocrite for wanting to hide Miss Wray's indiscretions and gosh, at least she stuck to a species almost identical to herself genetically.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 09:15 PM

I tell people I'm British. They seem to expect that sort of thing from there.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: mike_in_st_c
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 12:28 AM

I heard this one this evening. "How do you get Canadians out of the swimming pool?" "Could you kindly get out of the pool, please?"

Seriously, this is a true story. I grew up in Iowa City, Ia. I was at a church supper with my mother when I was, oh maybe13. This church goin' woman across the table asked where my older brother was that summer. My mother informed her that he was at his uncle's in Calgary working on the Alberta Highway System. No word of a lie. Without skipping a beat, this woman asked, "Do people live that far north?" That would have been about '68. Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: kendall
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 01:39 PM

Can someone tell me if it is still possible to take a train from New Brunswick to British Columbia?

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 01:47 PM

Yes, but you need a f*cking big truck.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 01:52 PM

And seriously, yes you can, sort of. You'd have to change a few times. The longest legs are across the prarie from Ottawa (I think) to Calgary, then over the mountains from Calgary to Vancouver. It's a ferry ride from there to Vancouver Island but you can scoot up the Island on the E&N if you're into laid back travel.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: GUEST,Blackcatter at work - shhhhhhh
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 02:31 PM

Blame Canada


Sheila: Times have changed
Our kids are kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Sharon: Should we blame the government?
Liane: Or blame society?
Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Sheila: No, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their beady little eyes
And flappin' heads so full of lies
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: We need to form a full assault
Everyone: It's Canada's fault!
Sharon: Don't blame me
For my son Stan
He saw the darn cartoon
And now he's off to join the Klan!
Liane: And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelf
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!
Sheila: Well, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Copy Guy: They're not even a real country anyway
Ms. McCormick: My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer, it's a-true
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue
Everyone: Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
Sheila: Heck no!
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their hockey hubbabaloo
Liane: And that bitch Anne Murray too
Everyone: Blame Canada
Shame on Canada
The smut we must stop
The trash we must smash
Laughter and fun
must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: kendall
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 06:17 AM

That is a riot!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: robomatic
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 03:55 PM

You should be thankful for all the French people there. That's what keeps US from taking over!

Yr humble Alaskan.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: TS
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 06:29 PM

Kendall...yes..you can take the train from New Brunswick to BC. Depends on where in NB you are going t obe though...it heads into Moncton NB and follows the north shore into Quebec along the Gaspe then to Montreal. You jump trains in Montreal heading to TOronto, then from Toronto you jump another train. That's the one that'll take you clear to Vancouver, through Winnipeg, Saskatoon, Edmonton, Jasper, and then southerly into BC. Contact VIA RAIL for more....Slainte!

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Peace
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 07:31 PM

Jasper is less than an hour from Hinton. FYI

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 12:05 AM

Thanks Metchosin.

(Looks like I lost track of this thread for a few days.)

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 12:12 AM

Robomatic - Right on! Thank God for the French. It amazes me that so few English Canadians realize what you just pointed out.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 02:24 AM

It also amazes me that so many Canadains get so bent out of shape about having two official languages. In these times, the ability to speak more than one language should be viewed as an incredible asset for any and all citizens.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 02:19 PM

A Canadian friend says Jean Chretien made no sense in either one.

Subject: RE: BS: Get to know Canada...please
From: kendall
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 08:08 PM

Thanks for the info on the trans continental train. It's a ride I want to take some day.

Let's not forget Giselle McKenzie and Peter Jennings. Also one of the team of McNiell and Leherer