BS: This could be useful.....an anti fart j

Subject: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 23 Sep 04 - 09:06 PM

Mmmm can a person visit a vet to get one of these.....Mentions all the methane from sheep and cows but what about us humans, very usefull after a good curry.

Jab to cut methane emissions

David Adam
Thursday September 23, 2004
The Guardian

Scientists have developed a jab to stop sheep belches and farts from damaging the environment.
Wind from sheep, cows and other farm animals accounts for about 20% of global emissions of methane - a greenhouse gas 23 times more potent, volume for volume, than carbon dioxide.

Now a team led by André-Denis Wright of the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation in Perth, Australia, has devised a vaccine against the microbes that produce methane in sheep rumens.

After two injections, sheep burped out 8% less methane in a 13-hour test in a closed chamber. The results appear in the journal Vaccine.

The vaccine was effective against 20% of the bugs inside the 20 sheep used in the trial. Scientists are now working to increase this and to cut methane production further. Emissions from farm animals are a particular problem in Australia and New Zealand, where they account for up to 80% of methane produced.

Researchers in Britain and other countries have experimented with changing composition of feed to make intensively farmed animals produce less methane. A vaccine would be more useful because it could be given to all ruminants. David Adam

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Sep 04 - 09:38 PM

... is Spaw a Ruminant?

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 04 - 10:00 PM

Back about 150 years ago there were an estimated 60,000,000 American bison, ruminants running amok across the plains of the US. Obviously, they produced a prodigious amount of methane and therewith contributed mightily to the greenhouse effect.

Buffalo hunters and brucellosis killed most of them off. Why do we now deride and denigrate these early environmentalists, instead of honoring them as they deserve?

More importantly, they reduced the number of buffalo (I'll use the old American term) to managible proportions. Just imagine trying to vaccinate 60,000,000 wild animals, each weighing around 900 kilograms!

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 Sep 04 - 10:13 PM

I sit here, absolutely breathless with anticipation of Spaw's post to this thread.........................

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: mack/misophist
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 12:25 AM

Why not just fit them with face masks and collect it? Clean burning, cheap fuel!

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Rasener
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 01:24 AM

Here's an interesting website for all you fart junkies.

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

Enjoy :-)

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 01:37 AM

You've all forgotten about Depends......(nappies/diapers as the case may be......) Methane comes out the back side as well.....Come on, Spaw...say something....we're all waiting breathlessly as it were.

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: freda underhill
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 03:02 AM

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aeroplane
mechanics in London.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar
with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Jeez I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a
buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT!  NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings... it's Jim.
 Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
 Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
 Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
 Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing.
We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No....."
"Well, DON'T 'cause I'm in MOSCOW!"

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 03:37 AM

If all goes to plan this weekend I intend to punch a small hole in the ozone layer above a small village in Northamptonshire.

Regards Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 03:45 AM

The tension waitng for Spaw to enter, is like holding onto one to wait for the Queen to fart first...

You can't fart before her Majesty!

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 04:06 AM

Besides me, I can think of quite a few people who could do with an injection like the one mentioned.

A sigh is an expression,
That comes from the heart.
But if expressed downwards,
It's called something else.


To fart it is a pleasure,
It gives the bowels ease.
It delicately scents the sheets,
And suffocates the fleas.

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 07:37 AM

I'm looking forward to hearing Tiny Blair announce this great new programme to fight global warming and provide a massive job creation programme at the same time, all round the world.

And all those wild life programmes would have a new angle, as the intrepid teams of eco-warriors have to go out vaccinating elephants and water buffaloes and all...gorillas in the mist...tie me Kangaroo down, sport...

And what about whales? Or doesn't methane matter when you're farting under water? (That sort of rhymes, good enough for folk anyway!) If not, a whole new environmentally sound kind of retro-whaling could come into being

Oh the vaccine struck as the line paid out...

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 09:17 AM

Methane released under water rises to the surface in great bubbles, sometimes destroying a ship that happens to be in the wrong place at the time. Other gases released under water do the same thing.

Not only is this the reason that people who work in places that ozonate water for drinking are forbidden to wade in the tanks, but why you should never get into a swimming pool with a bunch of four-year-olds (well, there's another reason too, but that becomes part of the the pool water).

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 10:13 AM

"Why not just fit them with face masks and collect it?"

Wrong end, I think - just attach hoses to their bums.


Is Spaw still alive ?

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 10:24 AM

all you need is innovation

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 10:35 AM

Interesting that about the herrings...

"If I could fart with the animals"...

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 11:47 AM

Subject: RE: BS: This could be usefull.....an anti fart j
From: Foolestroupe - PM
Date: 24 Sep 04 - 10:35 AM

Interesting that about the herrings...

"If I could fart with the animals"...
You would probably be Dr Poolittle!