Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers

Subject: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: *#1 PEASANT*
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 09:07 AM

It has come to my attention that those refusing to wassail are growing in number!

They oppose drink, oppose riotous exuberant behavior, oppose eating, oppose loud noises, oppose anything vaguely traditional, dont like going out in the cold even with antifreze, dont like apples, won't even drink non alcoholic wassail.

I think if they are allowed to win.....the terrorists win!

What then dear people would be the suitable punishment for a scoff wassailer, non wassailer, anti wassailer....you know what I mean....

Conrad

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Dead Horse
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 11:19 AM

May their apples rot on the tree. May their orchards be full of demons.
May they never have hats full, caps full, half bushel bags full.
God rot every non-wassailer, wot aint got no apple tree!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 12:04 PM

yo ho ho.. *#1 PEASANT*

yeah..!! you just described my favourite kind of xmas..

the only thing i'm seriously opposed to this time of year
are smokers*
and oven-like central heating systems
in pubs where its impossible to open the windows..


[* actually i'm opposed to them all year round..
but in wintertime in hot crowded stuffy pubs
they're more likely to get punched if they smoke in my face..]

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Peace
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 07:45 PM

Six hours of rap music--LOUD.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 08:11 PM

I understand that Blunkett's last act in power was to take out Anti Social Behaviour Orders against wassailers

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: artbrooks
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 08:51 PM

May their tea be cold and their beer flat.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 01:53 AM

A full day of Limpit playing with them... she'd drive ANYONE to drink!

LTS

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: michaelr
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 01:58 AM

Seventeen lashes with a wet noodle.

Am preparing to go on my first serious wassail this (or next) year. Any tips from the veterans?

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Tradsinger
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 04:56 AM

May they be forced to drink Miller Light, watch Macaulay Culkin films and hear nothing but Bay City Rollers records for the rest of their lives.

Wow! That's probably lost me a lot of friends. (I didn't really mean it, folks, except the bit about the Miller Light.)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 06:25 AM

A pox on the non wassailers.

eric

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: GUEST,Keen Wassailer
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:02 AM

Michaelr - what's a "serious" wassail?? So far the ones I've been on have been seriously good fun.. Enjoy....!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:18 AM

Tradsinger:

That's Miller Lite. If it were Light it might not be so bad. I refuse to eat or drink anything called "Lite"!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 11:08 AM

May they be locked in a chamber and forced to listen to late Frank Sinatra recordings.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 11:18 AM

I'd say two days shut up with Martin Gibson but I won't cos he'd start on me then.

LOL, Pete

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: *#1 PEASANT*
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 11:03 PM

The Bay city rollers.....great torture!

For serious wassailing information contact my web pages-
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5567/wassail.html
To the wassail epicenter clickit here

This year for the first time we opened a web store- the buttons are fun-get to it from the first page of the epicenter- the slim profits go to maintenance of our free informative web world...

A serious wassail is about as much fun as anyone can possibly have!
Conrad

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 11:20 PM

B. S... B. S... B. S... B. S...

Come on clones - recognize when you have been duped!!!This i8s BS in a milder disguish.

(Been snippin' at the Sat'r'day NOG a little too early?????

(Let me guess - the 'LaoughKat" is at the controls tonight - which means the mean - ones - have full CONTROL!!!!

Yip - Yippity - Tyeeeeeee!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

---

You're right, Garg. It's a non-music thread. I missed it.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: LadyJean
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 11:52 PM

The worst of all possible tortures! Easy listenning music!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: Peace
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 12:16 AM

Elevator music.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: michaelr
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 02:10 AM

Reading Gargoyle postings...

By "my first serious wassail" I guess I meant that I had been to a few stationary wassails before, but this (next?) year I'll be going house to house.

I hope the Highway Patrol will cast a mild eye on this drinking-and-driving exercise on New Year's Day.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: GUEST,Morris-ey
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 09:03 AM

Suitable torture: a night out with you lot obviously; or 2 nights for the unrepentant

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: CapriUni
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 05:14 PM

Seriously, though:

As Wassailing brings good luck and prosperity to the human and non-human inhabitants of farm and farmhouse, surely there must be some mention in the folklore tradition of bad luck befalling those coal-hearted fools who refuse to participate, and help the cycle of life continue...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: CapriUni
Date: 27 Dec 04 - 01:08 AM

Refresh. Currently looking up (Wassail, superstitions, folklore) on Google...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Suitable Torture for Non-wassailers
From: *#1 PEASANT*
Date: 27 Dec 04 - 03:15 PM

Look no further go here and find a wassail to attend

For serious wassailing information contact my web pages-
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5567/wassail.html