BS: Never....

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:22 AM

Never ever step upon his tail.

If you ever, ever, ever see a whale that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:01 PM

Never do a panic stop on a bicycle by squeezing the front hand brake really hard...unless you want to join the "over the bars club".

Never give your significant other a back rub with Bengay and then go directly on to serious cuddling.

Never read these things with a mouth full of liquid...any liquid...unless you are far away from your keyboard.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 07:30 PM

froggie - never heard it called that before? You HAVE had a sheltered life!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM

Try to get by someone who is backing out of a parking space.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:50 AM

Dont eat yellow snow

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

To the tune of "Mona Lisa"

Firkytoodling, firkytoodling, Liz has called it,
I'm sure I have never heard that word before....

My closest associate sometime calls me "fingers", and occasionally "titty twiddler", but I hope she never gets hold of
"firkytoodler"; I don't think I could take it.

LOL.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:05 PM

"Don't use your bare hands to cut up jalapenos and take a leak afterwards. (That warning is for the guys). "

Or indulge in firkytoodling with your girlfriend either....

Not personal, but someone I know......

Don't choose a hawthorn bush to indulge in your first ever outdoor 'shenanigans'.... the operative word is THORN.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Micca
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:24 PM

Never Use a standard -5degC to 105degC thermometer to record the Heat of dilution of Sulphuric Acid( diluting from Concentrated to 2 Molar) as the resulting sudden rise may shoot the end of the thermometer across the prep room and part the Hair of the Senior Technician 20 feet away like a small bullet, leaving said Senior Tech VERY unamused. This also applies to making Caustic Soda solutions ( My thats hot, I wonder HOW Hot?)
Never set a trap for the Junior Tech by connecting the handle of the door of the tea room to a VandeGraaf Generator on a dry Summers afternoon. The Senior Tech with the weak heart and the Pacemaker may arrive first and be somewhat startled by the 2ft long blue spark that leaps to his hand from said door handle. aid Senior may also be very displeased with you some hours later when he has recovered and is known for bearing a grudge.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:53 PM

pdq, oh my, on the thigh, thank you for that memory!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:25 PM

steal georgian silver's favourite number.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:44 AM

Never drop your children off just anywhere in the school drop off zone (like in the middle of the street with cars moving on either side of you). Use the curb, and have them get out of the door next to the curb. Don't stop at the first point along that curb that you come to--PULL FORWARD!!! (My morning pas de deux x 100) You'd think some of these people had kids to spare, the way the just plop them out anywhere amongst the moving traffic.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:19 AM

leave liniment on your hands after using it - you'll find out why when you absent-mindedly rub your eyes!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

forget which paticular 'of course it's safe if you know what you're doing' dangerous substance you're mucking about with. Liquid Nitrogen, 100% ethanol.

bunnahabhain.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: robomatic
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 07:00 AM

whack your bicycle handlebars on one side to get the grip back in place while you're riding.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Crystal
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:51 AM

Re the ammonia sniffing, NEVER take a deep sniff of 2M hydrocloric acid, it burns!
Never eat twiglets, then rub your eyes, I was up last night trying to wash bits of twiglet dust out from under my eyelids!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: sian, west wales
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:47 AM

... give a child a child-safe chemistry set if the child next door has also been given a child-safe chemistry set, but not the same make and model of the first child's child-safe chemistry set (are you following this?) because just because one manufacturer's set of chemicals is safe within itself, it doesn't necessarily follow that the two together are.

On a similar note point out to said children ...

Never think that an aerosol can of room freshener can be used in lieu of fire extinguisher if, by combining more than one chemistry set, your mother's basement curtains catch on fire.

I've always thought there might be a ballad in there somewhere - something along the lines of The Sicknote ...

siân

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Micca
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 06:40 AM

NEVER try to pick up hot glass bare handed when carrying out Glass-blowing operations NB Hot glass looks EXACTLY like cold glass
Never sniff a flask you suspect may contain Ammonia, the resulting recoil and fall backwards over several Lab stools can cause much hilarity amongst colleagues.
On a serious note NEVER do mouth to mouth on anyone you even suspect may have inhaled a noxious or toxic gas, You could join them unconcious on the floor, This applies to Houshold as well as Chem lab accidents , ie Bleach inhalation, Car exhaust fumes etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: kendall
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 05:26 AM

...tell a cop to go fuck himself.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:08 AM

...try bare-handed, to catch falling cement blocks when you've just peeled more off from a wall with a sledge hammer than you intended. (ouch!)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:08 PM

"..let your braces dangle in the toilet bowl."

Is this something an orthadontally challenged teen may do when driving the porcelain bus?

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:56 PM

Good advice. If you lick your genitals in public this week, you'll be chasing cars and peeing on fire hydrants next week.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:31 PM

UNless you are working as a side-show artist in a carnival....


A

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:21 PM

Lick your genitals in public.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: frogprince
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:16 PM

...try to tell anyone he doesn't understand biblical prophecy...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:09 PM

I never knew there were wooden stoves. Learn something new ever' day.   :)

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:06 PM

Mine was only partially true. I removed things from boiling oil with a fork, then immediately picked it up off the fork with my fingers.

Others from personal experience:
Never drink from a water fountain without first testing where it sprays to.

Never cut your toenails with a knife.

Never light a tissue on fire without first having some plan for putting it out or some place to set it down.

Never try to blow out a tissue that has been lit on fire unless you want bits of burning kleenex to spread all over the place.

Never let bits of a burning tissue fall onto your computer keyboard.

I'm sure I could list a few more things and ways not to light things on fire.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:04 PM

Teresa-

Was that a wood stove, or a wood-BURNING stove?

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:56 PM

Oh pffft darn me, I thought that seemed familiar re: Fargo ...

Ok, mine was true, unfortunately. I have many more similar ones for any who care. ;)

er, never stand too close to folding doors when you close them.

never touch a fur-clogged vacuum, at least not the metal part, after it's been running awhile. Had blisters on my fingers for three days.

Never put your hand on a wood stove for balance.

That should do for now. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:42 PM

Joe, the initial post about never double-tying the drawstring in a pair of sweatpants is definitely from firsthand experience. Quite recent, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM

Rapaire-

Alcohol at 100 proof or higher will burn.

I used to clean up radioactive spills with 200 proof undenatured ethanol. Great buzz from the fumes...

We kept a jug in the electrinics shop for party punches- 3 parts fruit juice, one part solvent...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:23 PM

Try to reverse a clothes wringer with your fingers...assuming you even know what a clothes-wringer is!!!LOL


A

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:19 PM

I wonder if these are all first-hand experiences...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:06 PM

Shall we make these more interesting, and dangerous, by limiting them to personal experience?

Never use cast Iron drainpipe to make a potato mortar.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:03 PM

Teresa, it already has, a movie called Fargo.

Never try to sneak a drink into a concert that's tied to a string that's longer than your skirt.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: pdq
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:56 PM

Never bite a married woman on the thigh.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM

"never neck by the garden gate-
love is blind, but the neighbors aint."

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:44 PM

Hmmm, that wood chipper gave me the chills. :> Would make a good mystery though.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:40 PM

...roller skate in a buffalo herd.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:58 PM

Never use a wood chipper to dispose of a body unless it is thoroughly frozen to less than 15 degrees F.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:49 PM

Don't use your bare hands to cut up jalapenos and take a leak afterwards. (That warning is for the guys).

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:46 PM

Never sell the mule to buy a plow....

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Padre
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:39 PM

Never bad-mouth the corpsman who has control of your shot record.

Padre
HMCS (FMF) Retired

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:41 PM

Guest and all,

It's known as Vegas in the summer time; inside of car temp reaching 150F. fortunately the water was at 80F or so, do to the insulated cover. :)

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:40 PM

. . . sneak up on a raccoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:35 PM

ouch.

Never walk a straight line when you're wearing funky shoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:31 PM

And never bare-hand the prop brick when you're finished venting a kiln.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:24 PM

Bee-dubya-ell,

As any Art school potter knows -- never bare-hand a fallen peep-hole brick in the sunlight.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:22 PM

Tug on Superman's cape
Spit into the wind
Pull the mask off the lone ranger
Mess around with Slim

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,milk monitor
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:19 PM

Never lick the ice box inside an old frigidaire fridge, no matter how hot the weather. Sure the older sister will helpfully unplug it, but then she'll take the piss relentlessly while you are stuck there waiting for it to defrost.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: *Laura*
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:08 PM

put your socks in the toaster