BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer

Subject: BS: Dimwit Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: GUEST,The Sudbury Sapsucker
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 05:18 PM

- from the Monday edition of the Sudbury Sapsucker - Local News -

In the wee hours of Monday morning two men were arrested by Ontario Provincial Police in Sudbury, following a breakin at the downtown Beer Store on King Street. Police were alerted by a local resident who had seen the men loading many cases of beer into a school bus. The school bus had been stolen from a nearby secondary school. The thieves had entered the Beer Store after cutting their way through the door of the neighboring building, a tattoo parlour called "Skin Deep", with a skill saw, and thence through the inner wall of the beer store. In this manner they were able to bypass the alarm systems, but were foiled by a passerby who phoned the OPP.

Security cameras inside the Beer Store have provided film of the two men drinking copious amounts of beer prior to hauling out approximately 75 cases of it to the school bus. The thieves favoured Molson Canadian, but also took a variety of other brands.

"Beer is beer, eh?" one of them said to the other (recorded on the store's security video), while debating what brands to take. "Decent." remarked his partner, and they proceeded to load a dolly with as many cases as it could hold.

"It's a wonder we didn't catch them sooner," said officer Melvin of the OPP. "Our evidence suggests that these morons broke into a hardware store in Spanish around midnight, where they stole the skill saw and a box of toilet plungers. They then drove to Sudbury and stole the school bus around 2 AM by jumping the wires on it, having decided that their pickup truck wasn't big enough for "the job". They then attempted to break into 2 other Beer Stores in the Sudbury area, but were foiled by either tripping alarms and running or encountering brick walls. They finally hit a winning combination at the store on King Street, and got in through the side wall."

Approximately $32,000 damage has been done to the Beer Store and the tatoo parlour.

The thieves attempted to flee from police, but were too drunk to either get the school bus in gear or to get away on foot. "It was as easy as tackling a jelly donut," said an arresting officer. Upon being questioned, the men turned out to be brothers. Each of them accused the other of "making me do it". They further stated that there is shortly going to be a catastrophic beer shortage, and begged police to release them as a public service, so that other people could be warned to stock up while beer is still readily available.

Don Sylvester McBride, 31, and his brother Shane Alistair McBride, 27, both of Blind River, Ontario, have been variously charged with 4 counts of breaking and entering, grand theft auto, impaired driving, public drunkeness, resisting arrest, property damage, and creating a public disturbance.

Police wish to emphasize there that is no danger of a beer shortage at this time.

- The Sudbury Sapsucker - "All the News you need to know, and then some"

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 06:20 PM

Perhaps one of our expensive Canadian expert commentators would like to commentate on this commentatable turn of events?

BDiBR? Any comments? These guys related to you?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 06:29 PM

I would suspect, given the names of the arrested, that they are closely related to BDiBR.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 07:13 PM

The Sudbury Sapsucker??   April 1rst come early this year???

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 07:16 PM

ultimate solution:bullet into brainstem

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 07:21 PM

I hadn't realized that BDiBR is so young. I shudder to think what he will be like at age 40. Besides which, I had thought of his brother as being the bright one. Everything is relative, I guess.

Thank you to the pubic-spirited citizen who brought this to our attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 07:32 PM

Pubic-spirited?

Oh, I still haven't made that typo yet. Never thought of doing it deliberately, though. Heh heh heh.

I was wondering if it was BDiBR before I saw the end. :)_

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 07:35 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 07:43 PM

This is Shane's asshole today:   *



This is gonna be Shane's asshole in a year:    O




Way to go, ya flippin' hoser! All that noise you made about not bein' gay... Well Bubba don't give a shit whether yore ass is gay or not!   Just as long as you is fresh meat!

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 08:05 PM

I once knew a feller named arthur Macbride - no relation

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: number 6
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 08:24 PM

I wonder if Shane and Don where downeast last summer .... if they were, I'm sure they were involved in this operation (along with the bear).

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2004/10/20/BeerBear_041020.html


sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Peace
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 08:28 PM

Here ya go, Number 6.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2004/10/20/BeerBear_041020.html

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 08:38 PM

Knowledge is power, eh Brucie? :):)

Here's another blue clicky lesson: you can put text in that same area where you put the URL ... I think the box says "enter text for webpage, etc.

Teresa"

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: number 6
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 08:50 PM

Jeeeesh ... ok guys I gave it a try!

Now I realize the 'secret'

Thanks,
sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Peace
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:02 PM

So much for the power trip.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Peace
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:12 PM

Truthfully, I felt good helping some people 'turn their link blue', because so many helped me in the past. A few catters tried to educate me. Finally, a GUEST walked me through the steps. It worked. Now Teresa tells me that I can do the 'change the clicky title' too. Wow.

What a world has opened up. No longer will the blue link title give away the powerful, gripping and educational stuff just a click away.

Witness the following:

Second Largest Orange in the Universe (or, A Pumpkin Throwing Up).

See how easily people can be fooled? That is a photograph of BDiBR at last year's Halloween party. Excelsior!

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:15 PM

Hahahahahahahahaha. What hath been wrought? :D

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:41 PM

Here's a site about pumpkins, throwing up. Pictures and all...even a neat little cannon at the bottom of the page.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: GUEST,Alfie, the sexpert of the Georgian shores
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 11:23 PM

Haw! Haw! Haw! Flippin' HILL-aireous!!! If that ain't Shane at the Holloweenee party itz gotta be his twin brother, eh? ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!! Way ta go, brucie!

The boys have took up a colleckshun to get bale for Don and Shane. We got together $12 bucks. It ain't near enough, so we spent it on a bottle of cheap wine instead.

But we do care. So...we are gonna have a benefit concert next weekend. We hope to book Motorhead or AC/DC, but if we can't get them on short notice we will get my band to do it. My band is called "The Fugly Uckers". We are gettin' well known around here, so I figger we can raise plenty of cash. We hope to book "The Loose Habits" too. They are a girl group that dress up like nuns with slit skirts and fishnet stockin's and they do a sort of strip-rock-heavy metal show that HAS ta be seen! They rock! But not like we do. Close, though...

- Alfie

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Peace
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 11:25 PM

Ol' Shane was out of his gourd, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 01:46 AM

Man! Summa those punkin'-chunkin' rigs would make GREAT salad shooters. Probly shoot a head of lettuce a couple of miles.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: GUEST,Alfie, sexpert of the Georgian shores
Date: 09 Feb 05 - 07:50 PM

I been negotiatin' with the Loose Habits (girl group) for the benefit concert. What a bunch of flippin' skanks! They rock, though... They will be there in fishnet and garters. I figger to try a move on the lead singer or the guitar player after the show. Or the drummer. Hell, even the base player. I'll take what I can get, eh?   Everybody is feeling real sorry for Shane and Don. They are, like, heroes in Blind River, eh? 75 flippin' cases of beer and a school bus! Nobody in this town ever stole so much beer before. It's a flippin' shame they didn't get away with it, but they are still heroes, eh?

I ain't heard personal from the boys, but Don did call the gas station on his free phone call and he said he will be off duty for a bit. I heard that Shane used his free call for a phone sex line, and charged it to the jail, I think...

He always had nerve.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 03:41 AM

Gonna be a good time when the Brothers McBride get outta jail. Yessireebob!

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 04:16 PM

Were the two dolts in Sudbury any smarter than the one in New Brunswick?
He stole a whole shipment of Moosehead destined for Mexico from a truck that he was driving himself. The stuff was all labeled in Spanish so it wasn't too easy to hide.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: gnu
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 04:37 PM

Well, the police only recovered a portion of that truckload of beer and ONLY because the moron ran off the road... geez, I wonder how he managed to put the truck in the ditch and spill the load ? Took off for Montreal... left ID in truck. Last report from the trial was that, just before the theft, he asked a beer rep how much a tractor trailer load of beer was worth. Yup, he's a New Brunswicker fer sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 05:40 PM

He must be a hero in his hometown, eh? :-) I suspect he ran off the road due to sampling the wares prematurely, which is exactly what Shane and Don would do. They would drink at least a dozen beer each, then put 'er in gear and head for the stashing place...

Subject: RE: BS: Brothers Arrested, Stealing Beer
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 06:19 PM

It's me, Shane. They are letting me use the computer in, like, the liberry here. I worked out a deal with officer Dana and she is givin' me 15 minutes here from, like 6pm. Man, I gotta tipe fast, eh?

So, like, it aint' that bad here. But it could be better. The food is okay. The room ain't the best but it looks way better than our place, I'm tellin' ya! Me and Don weren't talkin' the first night and it did not look good. We were majorly pissed, cos it was mostly HIS fault what happened. He got the idea to jump the school bus and we would not of got caught if we had stuck with the pickup, eh? That's, like, my take on it. The school bus was goin' too far, eh!

Don doesn't agree. He syas it was MY fault! I can't flippin' beelEEVE he would say that. But I understand he is upset cos he is gonna lose his job and all. So I ain't holdin' no gruge against him over this. But he IS wrong, cos it was his fault.

Anyway, we had a big row about it on the 2nd day and almost come to blows till this big guy in the next cell called "Snake" said if we didn't shut up he was gonna "settle" with us at exercise period.

We didn't want to hurt him, so we, like, shut up, eh?

So, lemme see...well, I met officer Dana and she is really cool. She is good lookin' in her uniform and all, and she is tough but nice. I would think about datin' officer Dana if we was both on the outside. Maybe. Anyway, she brung 3 other cops who wanted to see me...and get this...get my flippin' AUTOGRAPH! I kid you not, eh?

They said they heard of me. "You're Blind DRunk in Blind River" ain'tcha?" says the one cop. They're all grinnin'.

"Yup. That's me." I says, tryin' to be, like, cool about it.

They took my flippin' AUTOGRAPH! They say I'm a household name among cops by now.

This is good. I may get to meet Shania one day if this keeps up.

Geez. I got 5 minutes left.

Well, Officer Dana took down notes on what we done at the beer stores and all, and I tried to, like, alert her to the, like, crisis of the comin' beer shortage, eh? She listened. I don't know if she believes it, but she listened. I begged her to let me on the Net so's I could talk to my frineds out there who are worried about me, eh?

Well, she is okay, cos she arranged for me to use this here computer at the liberry as long as I don't call up no porno sites.

They were ticked about the phone call I made to the sex line but that was a accident. I was tryin' to call my friends and I thought the nubmer was on thsi paper I ahd but it was the other pi3ce of papoer in my pocket, aso I hphoned the sex line instead. Then I figgered, might as well go for it. I was on the line 15 minutes before they figgered it out and stopped me.

Officer Dana says I should not have done that, and Iguess she is right. She wants to reform me. I am willin' to let her try. She is cool. Tough but nice. Well, I have got 30 seconds. Geez.

Okay...like...stay cool everyone and sendthem cards and letters! I will be back. I luv all of ya. Fer sure, eh? Bye!

- BDiBR