BS: Crap Full Circle

Subject: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Pogo
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 06:51 PM

I think this pretty much covers every single BS thread in Mudcat effectively...enjoy and don't get yer knickers in a bunch, it's not meant to be taken seriously XOP

* Taoism: S#!t happens.

* Confucianism: Confucius say, "S#!t happens."

* Buddhism: If s#!t happens, it isn't really s#!t.

* Zen Buddhism: S#!t is, and is not.

* Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of s#!t happening?

* Hinduism: This s#!t has happened before.

* Islam: If s#!t happens, it is the will of Allah.

* Islam #2: If s#!t happens, kill the person responsible.

* Islam #3: If s#!t happens, blame Israel.

* Catholicism: If s#!t happens, you deserve it.

* Protestantism: Let s#!t happen to someone else.

* Presbyterian: This s#!t was bound to happen.

* Episcopalian: It's not so bad if s#!t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

* Methodist: It's not so bad if s#!t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

* Congregationalist: S#!t that happens to one person is just as good as s#!t that happens to another.

* Unitarian: S#!t that happens to one person is just as bad as s#!t that happens to another.

* Lutheran: If s#!t happens, don't talk about it.

* Fundamentalism: If s#!t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

* Fundamentalism #2: If s#!t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.

* Fundamentalism #3: S#!t must be born again.

* Judaism: Why does this s#!t always happen to us?

* Calvinism: S#!t happens because you don't work.

* Seventh Day Adventism: No s#!t shall happen on Saturday.

* Creationism: God made all s#!t.

* Secular Humanism: S#!t evolves.

* Christian Science: When s#!t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

* Christian Science #2: S#!t happening is all in your mind.

* Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this s#!t.

* Quakers: Let us not fight over this s#!t.

* Utopianism: This s#!t does not stink.

* Darwinism: This s#!t was once food.

* Capitalism: That's MY s#!t.

* Communism: It's everybody's s#!t.

* Feminism: Men are s#!t.

* Chauvinism: We may be s#!t, but you can't live without us...

* Commercialism: Let's package this s#!t.

* Impressionism: From a distance, s#!t looks like a garden.

* Idolism: Let's bronze this s#!t.

* Existentialism: S#!t doesn't happen; s#!t IS.

* Existentialism #2: What is s#!t, anyway?

* Stoicism: This s#!t is good for me.

* Hedonism: There is nothing like a good s#!t happening!

* Mormonism: God sent us this s#!t.

* Mormonism #2: This s#!t is going to happen again.

* Wiccan: An it harm none, let s#!t happen.

* Scientology: If s#!t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

* Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< S#!t happens.

* Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our s#!t?

* Jehovah's Witnesses #3: S#!t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

* Moonies: Only really happy s#!t happens.

* Hare Krishna: S#!t happens, rama rama.

* Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this s#!t!

* Zoroastrianism: S#!t happens half on the time.

* Church of SubGenius: BoB s#!ts.

* Practical: Deal with s#!t one day at a time.

* Agnostic: S#!t might have happened; then again, maybe not.

* Agnostic #2: Did someone s#!t?

* Agnostic #3: What is this s#!t?

* Satanism: SNEPPAH T!#S.

* Atheism: What s#!t?

* Atheism #2: I can't believe this s#!t!

* Nihilism: No s#!t.

* And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: S#!t happens-one day at a time!

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 07:20 PM

:0)....Hehehe

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Cluin
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 08:47 PM

What a load of shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 08:51 PM

Star Trek Command--Sh#tner happens

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 08:57 PM

The World after the Great William Himself is crowned Emperor of Everything:

HAIL SH#TNER!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: mack/misophist
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 11:29 PM

Somebody has a good imagination and too much free time.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 12:01 AM

So true...

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 12:08 AM

That's pretty much everybody's story around here.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: LadyJean
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 01:11 AM

I'm sorry. I don't believe in crap circles.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: John O'L
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 01:20 AM

That's pretty comprehensive Pogo.

You must have spent a long time on the crapper working it out with a pencil before posting.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 03:30 AM

You forgot Jedi - Happening it is, this s#!t, may the s#!t be with you.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Davetnova
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 03:42 AM

Of course only one of these is really true. I'm glad its the sh1t I believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM

Crap circles!!??? The aliens are coming!! Hide the barnyards!! Hide the manure piles!! The Truth is out there -- believe!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 11:12 AM

We've been enjoying using the term "crap circles" around our house lately, inspired by misreading the thread title. "Dang, honey, somedambody put out a crap circle all around us last night while we was sleeping. Reckon it was aliens?"

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Pogo
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 01:29 PM

John: Actually I cannot take credit, I am merely the humble shoveler...I'm not sure who originally left this philosophical surprise on the carpet of mankind, but it is funny nonetheless...provided you look before you step {O)

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 02:20 PM

Traditionalism. If I know who wrote it it's s#!t

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: gnomad
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 02:51 PM

There's a story about Winston Churchill during World War II: one day he was happily ensconced in the bathroom with his newspaper when he was told that the Lord Privy Seal wished to see him.

"Tell the Lord Privy Seal," barked the Prime Minister, "that I'm sealed in the privy and can only deal with one s#it at a time."

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM

Couldn't they just be grouped into a single category? - Holy shit!!

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 05:07 PM

Dang, I'd like to see a Privy Seal. Do they balance a ball on their nose and go "AWK! AWK!" while in the outhouse?

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 06:53 PM

They leave a deep impression on some things....

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 07:05 PM

FDR - "We have nothing to sh#t but sh#t itself."

Churchill - "I have nothing to offer you but blood, toil, tears, and sh#t."

Empress Josephine - "Let them eat sh#t!"

Julius Caesar - "I came. I saw. I shat."

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:08 PM

Ronald Reagan: I okayed this sh#t?

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST,~S~
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 06:20 AM

Read... my.... sh*ts.

:~)

Hey, I misheard a great one on TV yesterday-- "He's the cream of the crock."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST,dental hygenist
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 07:27 AM

Never look a gift s**t in the mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST,charlie windsor
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 07:38 AM

A s**t, a s**t, my kingdom for a s**t.

Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle
From: GUEST,Otis Ferry
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 07:40 AM

Tally s**t.