BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera

Subject: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 07:35 PM

OK, so, had a great relationship for about a year, then sweetie broke up with me (no surprise there, it was never a going-anywhere relationship but whoo did we have a great time) and was soon living with a new sweetie. This was at about the winter solstice. Now, about 2 months later, new sweetie is gone and is convinced that our common sweetie is a child molester AND, scorned or something I guess, has told the sweetie's daughter's other parent that MY kids molested that daughter TOO. What do I do now?

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 08:02 PM

You will need professional help with this one, both legal and perhaps social work. Call CPS for starters I guess. Someone will have to ascertain the truth and/or severity of the situation...kids playing doctor or someone entirely lying or a serious event? mg

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: harpgirl
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 08:14 PM

That depends on what the problem is or on how you are defining the problem, Mrzzy. If your children are not being investigated then I would talk to them about how terrible it is to falsely accuse anyone of something so serious and to make sure they never do it. Make it a lesson to be taught to them so they don't bring this kind of destruction down on someone else.

If you define the problem as an out of control woman making untrue public allegations, hire a lawyer to write her a letter to cease and desist unless she wishes to be sued for slander. Then move on.

Don't get mixed up with anymore crazy ........I mean
remember the old adage, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and find a stable person with which to settle down.

(Of course, my free advice is not as good as my paid advice.)      

h

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: dianavan
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 08:29 PM

I don't know if you feel comfortable about talking to the "new sweetie" but it might help to find out from the 'horse's mouth' what she suspects. If the common sweetie molested her kid, chances are he molested your kids too. If you both go to the police with your suspicions and ask for victim's assistance, it will carry more weight than if you blame each other.

Be sure to talk to your kids about sexual abuse and make sure they know that it is never the child's fault.

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 08:34 PM

"He" or "she" but the advice is useful.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 09:02 PM

Start journaling your recollection of everything you might know about it NOW, get professional advice NOW, and clam up NOW (not here at Mudcat, in real life). This sh*t sticks to everyone's shoes; the next round, everyone will be trying to wipe if off their shoes onto someone else. Be as teflon-- let nothing stick. Becuase you just don't GO there.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 09:45 PM

I should tell you about my sister's husband sometme, Mrz. Me, my daughter, her friend, my neice, and several other women in 3 diff. states. He's never been charged or convicted because none of us are willing to go to court and testify. Bad, I know. She is complicit in it too. So sad. I used to have a sister.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 11:55 AM

MY kids were not molested. Common sweetie's new ex-sweetie's kids weren't either, and they are adults anyway. I don't think common sweetie's own daughter either was molested, and I don't think common sweetie woulda done it if she had been, either. I had a child-molesting uncle who really did the molestation thing, that is not the case here. Common sweetie's new ex-sweetie is sending me zillions of emails detailing all correspondence with common sweetie, some of which is downright sick (from I will love you forever to I will vomit if you email me again, sometimes on the same day. I'm keeping all of those). My kids are already in therapy and I will be getting their therapists to document both a) they are not victims of abuse and b) they are not abusers either. Commpon sweetie's daughter wasn't abused as much as terribly mishandled in the breakup between her parents... but take a stressed out child to a child molestation expert and they will, of course, I would too, see signs of child abuse. *sigh* at least life ain't boring!

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: open mike
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 07:00 PM

document, document, document....
sounds like you have a lot to sort out here..

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 07:35 PM

It's all very confusing to try to understand here. Could you give them names or code words or something. If any child was molested, or anyone is going to be accused of such, the children need to be taken to the doctor for examination and documentation. If there is the possibility of false accusation that could affect child custody, visitation, etc., someone will need a good lawyer. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 01:44 PM

Yikes indeed. Am documenting madly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 02:11 PM

"False accusations"

Yeah it can all spin madly about-- Mrrz, see my previous post, OK? (Been there.)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Mar 05 - 10:58 PM

From the movie Fight Club (paraphrasing): "We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm not sure another woman is the answer we need."

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 05:40 PM

sounds like a borderline personality disorder, (your ex)
theres a book called I hate you Dont leave me that might be an interesting read.

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 12:42 PM

Life is, as the old chinese curse would have it, interesting.

My kids' shrinks say a) they cannot document lack of being abused as they never asked the kids, and b) it takes a whole different thing to verify that they aren't abusers and they recommend not putting the children through it.

At least the new old sweetie isn't emailing me any more, and claims to have deleted my latest answer unread, so I don't have to get a new email address and all. Unless I should anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: M.Ted
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 12:28 PM

I'm having trouble sorting out "common sweetie" , and how it is differentiated from "sweetie", "ex-sweetie" and "new old sweetie", let alone which kids go with who--and, therefore, no idea what happened or who it happened to--

Though this may all be clear in your mind, it is not clear at all to any of the rest of us--This can be a REALLY SERIOUS PROBLEM-- it doesn't matter whether we understand it here, it does matter an awful lot what teachers, counselors, law enforcement, child protective services (CPS from above, also called "child welfare"), Dept of Health and Human Services, Family Court, and other folks understand when they hear your story--

If you don't know it already, you should understand that all of the above, in certain circumstances, are required by law to respond when they hear the things you've mentioned above, even the
"Kid's Shrink" that you apparently have confided in--they may take actions, even if they don't understand the situation in the way that you do, so spend some time thinking about how to explain what has happened simply and directly (remember that even then, people often won't get it)--

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 01:19 PM

Yeah, I know about the taking action part; my younger twin was un-traumatically molested when he was about 3 by a neighborhood boy, and when I asked the pediatrician if I had to call the cops they answered No, because WE do.
But it wasn't a confidence in the shrink, it was a request for help, and they are taking it into account; but no accusations have actually been made yet, it's all been in the threatening stage. I'm just getting, or trying to get, my ducks in a row - which brings up a different image for me now after reading about the IgNobel prizes (still keeping my sense of humor, such as it is!)...

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: M.Ted
Date: 10 Mar 05 - 02:00 PM

This is a difficult situation for you, I know from my own experience, and you have my sympathy--some days it seems like soap opera, and some days, black comedy--If it is any consolation, in the end, no matter how dangerous and threatening they may seem, the vindicative and malicious ex whatevers always run out of steam--they have bills to pay and need to get back to business, just like everyone else--and it will all be quietly swallowed up in the system, and all parties will move on--Til that happens, though, it can be Hell--

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 10:05 AM

It's my birthday, and I'll cry if I want to!

Subject: RE: BS: Mrrzy lives in a soap opera
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 05 - 10:06 AM

It could be worse: you could be trying to comprehend one of MTed's music theory explanations.