Lyr Req: Girls Don't Fart

Subject: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Haruo
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 02:43 AM

There's a song that I heard several times on Mad Moskowitz's radio show when it could be heard in Seattle. The title is "Girls Don't Fart" (or possibly "Girls Can't Fart"). Really would like to have the rest of the lyrics, and info on authorship etc. Anybody?

Haruo

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: alanabit
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 03:17 AM

This sound slike an important song and I am looking forward to reading the lyrics!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: s6k
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 04:05 AM

me too!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 05:31 AM

Join the queue...

an important sociological question....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Davetnova
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 06:32 AM

Everyone knows they exude fragrances

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 06:36 AM

They do; and from both bottoms.
G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: s6k
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 07:13 AM

oh dear...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 08:10 AM

... but their tops are OK...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 09:07 AM

Ladies don't fart, they poot.

~S~

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 09:12 AM

Related to a certain Lupin Pooter by any chance? Diary of a Nobody
Giok

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 09:35 AM

As the great Richard Pryor would say, girls don't fart, they poot.
If there's a song about this topic, I'd love to hear it.

John 'Giok' MacKenzie posts, "They do; and from both bottoms."

The poot, a product of flatulence, is released from one of their two bottoms. The other bottom produces the "bilabial fricative."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: GUEST,Brucie
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 11:40 AM

Sing on sweet lips that never told a lie.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 12:00 PM

Hey - remember the original question, you lechers!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Vixen
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 02:33 PM

If it's really a serious request for lyrics...

the song has evidently been recorded by Dr. Demento, Boca Brian, and Strangely Brown.

fwiw--

If you google "girls don't fart" and "lyrics" that's what I came up with...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 03:11 PM

I MSNsearched it and didn't find anything worth a poot.

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 03:23 PM

Some girls do

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Mar 05 - 07:54 PM

i always heard it as, "girls don't fart - the doves come & carry it away"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 03:21 AM

That's like 'Horses sweat, gentlemen perspire, and ladies glow'.
Giok ¦¬]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Bernard
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 03:14 PM

So why don't women fart as often as men?

Coz they can't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up the required pressure!

Erm...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 04:08 PM

Oh Bernard...... Bernard.... Bernard.....

Next time I have mushy peas for tea, I'll invite you over....

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: MaineDog
Date: 15 Mar 05 - 05:33 PM

Ladies do not :
fart
belch
sweat
burp
cuss
swear
ejaculate
-----
so , they must BITCH in order to keep from exploding

MD

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Mar 05 - 04:12 AM

Guess that's the final proof that I ain't no lady!

(Neither was my mother, one belch from her could clear a room!)

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Haruo
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 12:44 AM

MaineDog's contribution is indeed a keeper, as my wife assures me over my shoulder, but yes, this is a serious Lyr Req. I suspect that the lyrics I'm looking for are the ones Dr Demento recorded, but that is not the same as having the lyrics. Chords etc. would be welcome too, but the lyrics are the thing.

PS Before we met, Paula had a bumper sticker that read "Single Girls Can't Fart — You Have to Be Married to Have an Asshole", but that's not the lyrics I want either.

Haruo

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Haruo
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 01:00 AM

I should say, the ones Dr Demento broadcast; I don't see any evidence he actually recorded it. Strangely Brown appears to be the canonical versifier.
I am in the process of signing up with the Dr Demento Show website, hoping they have at least a sound file I can try to transcribe the song from.

Haruo

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Haruo
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 01:37 AM

Interesting. The Doctor Demento website shows he broadcast this title seventeen times from 1996 through 2001, fifteen times the Strangely Brown version, the other two Boca Brian, and the first (but not the second) Boca Brian broadcast bears the note "(censored)".

I have now downloaded one of the Strangely Brown ones and am going to listen to it; I promise to post the lyrics, as best I can transcribe them, here.

Haruo

Subject: Lyr Add: GIRLS DON'T FART
From: Haruo
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 02:20 AM

Okay, here goes:

---

Girls Don't Fart

Strangely Brown
transcribed from a sound file at the Doctor Demento Show website

You take the first four letters of farther
and then you jettison the "H E R",
'Cause everybody knows that girls don't fart
no matter who they think they are
We guys can sit around drinkin brewskies,
Make the spiders bark all night long,
But the ladies won't even let 'em out of the'n gates
And that's-a why I sing this song,

Let me tell ya now,
Girls don't fart, they never () or () or (   )
They ain't got the rhythm,
they ain't got it in 'em to perform this manly art

Everybody sing, Girls don't fart,
You never hear 'em go () or (    ) ,
Well at least that's what my mamma said,
And my mamma's pretty smart. yeah.

{whistling interlude}

Well a girl can eat a jumbo burrito,
and follow that with a cabbage stew
But bless my hogs, you won't even get
a little ( ) a-all night through
Now if some guy had-n that kind-n dinner
He'd blow the covers offa the bed
And then light a match. blow the house apart, and
Wind up sleepin' in the shed
Lemme tell ya now, Girls don't fart ()()
They would never () or (   )
They ain't got the faintest, got the apparatus,
those cheeks won't never part,

Everybody sing, Girls don't fart
You never catch 'em goin' () () ()
No ifs ands or buts they'll keep that aperture shut,
and that'n takes a lot of heart.
Play it Jimmy,
{guitar interlude}

Now a man's biggest social disaster
is a fart with a lump inside
This is called a surprise by high-falutin' guys,
and it really can destroy one's pride
But women don't have this-a worry,
and this-a song is-a proof of it
'Cause Oh, by the way I forgot to say that
Girls don't s*h#i@t (toilet flushing)

Everybody now, Girls don't fart
Hey, what is a goin' on here?
But my mamma told me
Girls don't fart
Oh my, what a gaseous display
well, At least that's what my mamma said
as a mystery fragrance filled my head
And the dog he'n just keeled over dead
But I still believe her, cause you gotta believe your mamma...
Girls don't fart.

---

The italicized words are ones where I'm not too sure of the transcription. In the case of "faintest" because that's what it sounds like but it doesn't make sense to me; in the case of the latter part, because there's too much background sound effects that I can't adequately transcribe.

I am now downloading a Boca Brian one to see if there are significant variations.

Haruo

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Haruo
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 02:27 AM

I can now report that the Boca Brian song is a different song entirely, and should be called "Girls don't fart (But I do!)".

Haruo

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Girls don't fart
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Mar 05 - 04:12 AM

Thanks for sharing.... if ever we should meet, I'll be able to assure you that we do.... we really do!

LTS