 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Telling someone to F... off politely
|
|
|
|||||||
|
BS: Telling someone to F... off politely |
Share Thread
|
||||||
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Once Famous Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:55 PM Hey Clinton and I agree on something. find your balls. I am lucky that I play in a bi-weekly bluegrass/accoustic jam that is held at a church. We get these loser types come in pretty often. One by one we just leave and go into another room. There are about 3 or 4 different jams going on at any given time. The beginners are always encourage to play with the advanced players until it is obvious that they just screw it up. Eventually, they find a room of beginners that they fit in with. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:45 PM SHAMBLES: "Hey - the question posed in this thread is not an anology - is it?" Works for me.......... Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: MaineDog Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:32 PM Make a recording of one of these sessions. Make a CD of it, lable it "Starring MD |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: The Shambles Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:25 PM I think one of the problems is that if you (as session leader or organiser or whatever) are seen to be laying down rules in a pub - like no singing etc - some folk seem to see that as a red-rag to a bull and will then do their best to just to mess things-up for everyone. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Clinton Hammond Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:23 PM "he is not really welcome,without hurting his feelings too much" Why be a pussy... Especially when a good "Fuck Off" is quick and easy... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: The Shambles Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:21 PM Agreed there are limits. I'd not start telling noisy people at the bar to shut up. Yes but people like me (who would be thought by some to be the type who would bully barmaids) would not be adverse to this...*smiles* Hey - the question posed in this thread is not an anology - is it? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: GUEST,Jon Date: 27 Mar 05 - 12:38 PM Agreed there are limits. I'd not start telling noisy people at the bar to shut up. I think participants in the session are another matter - it can't even be good for the landlord if one person at the "musicians' table" is disrupting procedings. Fortunately it's been a few years since I remember a session being ruined and I think in the ones I go to now, I wouldn't be the first to speak up. I'm afraid I don't worry too much about being polite to someone like the person in your instrumental session. I do enjoy the occasional song but the session I like best is purely instrumental. When I first went there I didn't burst into song but found out what the feeling in that session was towards singing. I do believe when people move in on an established session, they should make the effort to fit in with what other participants may even have been enjoying together for years. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: SINSULL Date: 27 Mar 05 - 12:32 PM Assign someone to sit next to him and gently give him a nudge when he offends. "No" in his ear with a warning ahead of time that it will happen if he throws off another player. Good luck. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 27 Mar 05 - 12:27 PM If you had or have control of the venue, several of you organize a private session club, (with wallet membership cards, no less?) The old, open session is closed down. New member applicants can/must attend three times before being voted on for membership; after three they must be voted on. If rejected by vote of the membership, it's permanent. So you endure him for three times, and then vote. Well, whadaya know? He didn't get enough votes. G'bye! Oh, it's in a pub? Durn, that is a problem. Dave Oesterreich |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: GUEST,The Shambles Date: 27 Mar 05 - 12:05 PM Be honest, how long would you and your session put up with me if I came down weekly and battered an out of time bodhran loudly and say interspersed it with thrashing bad chords on the banjo. I could make it quite impossible for any of you to enjoy your music. We already have someone who does that - thank you......' Sadly they do appear to driven some of the less tolerant regular attendees away. It is sad and very irritating but it is not my pub. For you first do have to accept the limitations of where you are playing. For where does it stop? Do you then start telling the noisy bunch at the bar to leave the pub? The licensee will probably throw you out if you started picking and choosing his customers for them. I did say that it was sad but if folk don't follow the conventions - this does not give you the right to start flouting them too. There is no polite way of telling someone to **** ***. Our long-running tune session - currently has one person who has attended for some time and is fully aware of this convention but still tries every week to turn it into something else - by starting to sing even though there are song sessions elsewhere locally and even - on the same night. Probably as a result of the previous week being on 'Paddy's' Night' - where a gesture was made towards a more party feel - an attempt to sing Dirty Old Town was followed this week by an attempt at The Wild Rover. I left the session at that point - and if the same thing happens again - I will leave again......... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: GUEST,Jon Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:36 AM Not at all Shambles. If the guy is as bad as the first post suggests, the only certainty is that the session would die if he keeps playing. Without him, the session may well keep going for years and still open doors to others without the need to have any rules. Accepting poor players is one thing but there are some players who are destructive. Be honest, how long would you and your session put up with me if I came down weekly and battered an out of time bodhran loudly and say interspersed it with thrashing bad chords on the banjo. I could make it quite impossible for any of you to enjoy your music. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: GUEST,Jon Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:33 AM Not at all Shambles. If the guy is as bad as the first post suggests, the only certainty is that the session would die if he keeps playing. Without him, the session may well keep going for years and still open doors to others without the need to have any rules. Accepting poor players is one thing but there are some players who are destructive. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Stilly River Sage Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:20 AM Sounds like as the host you need to make up a new rule for the group. Does anyone in the regular membership teach any of his instruments? You can suffer along for a while, or you can antagonize him with the rude dismissal and create some bad feelings (and who knows, possibly a retaliation?), or you can insist that if he keeps coming then he has to take lessons from So-and-so. During the course of the lessons the discussion needs to regularly and pointedly go into proper demeanor at this kind of session. At that age, and with that interest level, he sounds like someone who could really benefit from guidance with a firm hand. Who knows what else he might be up to, otherwise? SRS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: The Shambles Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:17 AM If the session is held in a pub - to which all the public have free access to - the only thing in your power - if you really don't like the way the session is - is to leave it. Sadly when you feel you have start telling other participants (no matter how annoying) how, when and what to play - the session is dead. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Bill D Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:11 AM " while we appreciate that you are interested & trying, you do not seem to realize that you are not keeping up and fitting in, and the entire session is suffering. If you cannot handle the minimum requirements for music and awareness of the rules, we would ask that you drop out or just mostly listen, as the whole group is suffering from the situation...perhaps some private lessons would help...." etc. *shrug*...you can write something similar. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Once Famous Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:04 AM An open and honest, "fuck off, please?" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: katlaughing Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:02 AM Suggest he take some lessons and come back after he's improved? Probably being honest is the best and only thing which will really get through, though. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: GUEST,Jon Date: 27 Mar 05 - 10:40 AM I think it's a situation we all dread. Fortunately ones I have known have taken the hints and frosty reception. You are just going to have to do whatever it takes. Try it politely at first but if he can't see it, you are going to have to tell him he's not welcome one way or other. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: gnu Date: 27 Mar 05 - 10:37 AM In addition to the posts you will get on this thread, I know there are at leats two others in the past dealing with this. I can't recall the thread names right off, but a forum search may bring you results. I would search, but I have to buzz pretty soon. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Sorcha Date: 27 Mar 05 - 10:31 AM Move the session and don't tell him? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: Amos Date: 27 Mar 05 - 10:27 AM Give him an evasive answer. Tell him "Fuck off, politely". It is possible you will just have to inform him he has abused his welcome, and the protocol;s of the group, too often and will be debarred. A |
|
Subject: BS: Telling someone to F... off politely From: GUEST,12 String Stan Date: 27 Mar 05 - 10:24 AM I have a dilema. I put this in BS: as i feel it's not strictly musicially related, although in a way it is. I host every Tuesday, a session in our local pub, where friends and other musicans, and so on, are all welcome to join in the merriment, and we generally have a good time, but of late a curse has befallen us. A young chap (20) has moved to town and insists on coming to the session every week. Now PLEASE do not get me wrong, I believe all musicans good bad or indifferent, professional or amateur deserve the right to display the fruits of their musical ability, and no better place than a session for such. His weapons consist of Guitar, whistle Bodhran and when drunk, the banjo. Problem being the dear chap has not got one ounce of musical ability in his body. He carries no sense of timing, No sense of order or politeness when others are performing, And generally upsets and destroys what could be a good night. We have politely corrected him, suggested subtly about "leaving the instrument down for this one" and all other polite suggestions, which fell on either deaf or totally stupid ears, as the situation has not changed he has thrown us out of sets totally, making us hang tunes in mid air, and is becoming a real nuisance. Of late i have had a few stern words with him, which sink in for about an hour but then all is forgotten. I really need a failproof method of letting him know that he is not really welcome,without hurting his feelings too much I KNOW this has to have happened to others, and just wondered if you would have any thoughts on the subject I remind you again, I fully support young, up and coming and learning musicans but this chap really is a special case. |
