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BS:World Conspiracy folks
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: beardedbruce Date: 11 Aug 05 - 10:25 PM Don Firth, "*Considering what we've had in office withing recent decades and considering the alternative candidates we've been presented with, either Red Green or Garrison Keillor would be a major improvement. " I would not disagree with you on this statement. 8-{E |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: GUEST,,loko Date: 11 Aug 05 - 01:18 AM Laugh away laugh away. A great pity in this age that we are such demons following the truth of the dollar........ and you talk about hair..........BARF!!<> <> |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: CarolC Date: 11 Aug 05 - 12:28 AM Great poem. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: John O'L Date: 11 Aug 05 - 12:01 AM Every night and every day The awfulisers work away Awfulising public places, Favourite things and little graces. Awfulising lovely treasures Common joys and simple pleasures. Awfulising far and near The parts of life we held so dear. Democratic, clean and lawful Awful, awful, awful, awful. - Michael Leunig |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Don Firth Date: 10 Aug 05 - 04:48 PM Red Green may not be able to solve all of the world's problems, but with the possible exception of Garrison Keillor*, he is the world's foremost advocate of duct tape. And duct tape has been found to be highly effective for removing warts. Really! (I've heard that it isn't all that good for ducts, however.) Don Firth P. S. In fact, if you really look behind this whole "Intelligent Design" thing, you might find out that the whole universe is held together with duct tape. That might explain a lot. *Considering what we've had in office withing recent decades and considering the alternative candidates we've been presented with, either Red Green or Garrison Keillor would be a major improvement. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: jpk Date: 10 Aug 05 - 04:31 PM ya i think i will,hope they can play a little too, be nice if they were better then i'am,but then again it would not take much to out do me. last time the ones he brought by cheated,had four hands and six fingers. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Ebbie Date: 10 Aug 05 - 04:25 PM Go ahead and do it, jpk. Or you would always wonder. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: jpk Date: 10 Aug 05 - 04:15 PM sounds like the possums get in ta cahouts with the avids,an the snow flies. damn elvis just called an he wants ta use my saucer agian'the family size this time'do i loan it to him or not.he says he want to bring back some freinds from some place other than regulis,i don't know if i should. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Ebbie Date: 10 Aug 05 - 03:46 PM "If the women don't find you handsome, at least they should find you handy." The metaphorical difference between your local bimbo and Mother Teresa. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Don Firth Date: 10 Aug 05 - 03:26 PM "The truth!?? The truth!?? I can't handle the truth!!!" —Red Green Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: akenaton Date: 10 Aug 05 - 03:15 PM John ....Thats brilliant. Any more? |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: John Hardly Date: 10 Aug 05 - 03:08 PM We are Americans. We can change if we have to......maybe. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Don Firth Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:58 PM I wouldn't worry about the Masons or the Vatican or any of the other groups mentioned earlier actually taking over the world. But I did get wind of a definite conspiracy in the works. The organization that the United States government does have to worry about is [spooky music played on the theramin] Possum Lodge! There is a devious plot, worked out presumably by Walter and Bill, with organizational input by Harold, for Canada to be annexed by the United States as the fifty-first state. You've heard of the Trojan Horse? This is the Canadian Possum! Once the annexation takes place, through various political machinations and liberal ("liberal?" Bite your tongue!!) use of humorous and entertaining (for a change) speeches, the senators and congressional representatives of the new state of Canada manage to pass laws allowing those born in Canada to run for president of the United States, since, after all, they will have been born in the fifty-first of the United States and are, hence, natural born citizens (even if by caesarean), thus eligible. Once this is accomplished, they plan on running the head of Possum Lodge, Red Green, for president. If one is familiar with this individual, it is easy to see how, after what Americans (not to mention the rest of the world) have been through for the past several decades, even though like the present president, this man is a walking disaster, the voters will find his style of leadership a refreshing change. It has been rumored that future candidate Green has already picked many members of his cabinet. His running mate, of course, will be his nephew, Harold. Harold will fulfill the function of balance in the administration. Red Green will come up with a policy, and Harold will point out its flaws ("Are you crazy!!???"). They will insult each other in highly amusing ways, and even though Red Green's plan will be put into effect and it will be the disaster that Harold predicts, beyond the smell, there will be no lasting effects. To clean up the whole political scene in Washington, D. C., one cannot think of a more appropriate person than Winston Rothschild III, CEO of Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Service. Secretary of Commerce will by Dalton Humphrey, proprietor of Humphrey's Everything Store, Attorney General will be Mike Hamer (resident felon: 46 felony convictions, out on parole, the advantage of having him around is that if something is missing, you know who's got it), and Secretary of Defense will be Edgar Montrose (never met a problem that couldn't be solved if you use enough dynamite, thus out-terrorizing terrorists. Also, Green's liberal [OW! That word again!] use of the handyman's secret weapon—duct tape—should keep the world a somewhat more orderly place). Secretary of the Interior will be Ranger Gord (after eighteen years alone in the firewatch tower, one does get a bit strange) and assistant Secretary of the Interior will be Ed Frid (animal control officer who is terrified of anything larger than a parameceum), and the Secretary of State will be Hap Shaughnessy (taught Elvis how to sing, taught Fred Astaire how to dance, has met Santa Claus personally, flew at an altitude of 70 miles wearing nothing but a cape, and single-handedly prevented World War III). The rest of the Green administration is in the planning stage. The motto E Pluribus Unum will be replaced with Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati ("When All Else Fails, Play Dead!"), and "In God We Trust" will be replaced with "I'm Pullin' for Ya. We're All in This Together!" The future is glorious (or a lot less threatening than it is right now). Keep your stick on the ice. More information about the Possum Party. Red Green explains some of the pitfalls of bungy jumping. Don Firth P. S. As you may have guessed, it's a slow day here at the Skunk Works. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: GUEST,David Hannam Date: 10 Aug 05 - 07:41 AM Dammit, i thought i had heard some of the wakiest conspiracy theories, but this one is wierd |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: GUEST,Fullerton Date: 10 Aug 05 - 07:24 AM Dear Ms. Underhill, Snail solution (Final) |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: John O'L Date: 09 Aug 05 - 09:48 PM The common cormorant, or shag Lays eggs inside a paper bag. The reason you will see, no doubt Is to keep the lightning out But what these unobservant birds Haven't noticed is that herds Of elephants will come with buns And steal the bags to hold their crumbs. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: jpk Date: 09 Aug 05 - 08:46 PM my granpa was part of a mason jar conspiracy,wert no holes in the lids,but the lightning inside could sure get ya in trouble,more ways than one. by the way elvis returned my saucer yesterday,an we had a good jam,with some lightning on the side. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: freda underhill Date: 09 Aug 05 - 10:07 AM Acanthus mollis - oyster plant, aka Bear's breeches |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: John Hardly Date: 09 Aug 05 - 10:05 AM "My hands are shaking at the thought of it, and my trouser leg has spontaneouly rolled up" LOL!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Azizi Date: 09 Aug 05 - 09:48 AM The sky is fallin or so I've been told. The good ship Lollypop has already sailed off into the wild blue yonder and ET went home and left us all behind. So what can we do??? I'm blue. [actually I'm Black & blue but that's a whole 'nother story] ;>} |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Paul Burke Date: 09 Aug 05 - 04:27 AM Mason Grace conspiracy: they sing that same thing over and over again, driving us all round the twist. Mason's Apron - ditto, but Irish fiddlers. My hands are shaking at the thought of it, and my trouser leg has spontaneouly rolled up. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Dave Hanson Date: 09 Aug 05 - 02:39 AM Two words to put ALL men off pony tails, David Seaman, and he's a Yorkshireman for fecks sake. Good night and gobless, eric |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Ebbie Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:34 PM "Mason Jar conspiracy -- we will all be trapped in a jar -- like lightning bugs -- by a kid who forgot to put holes in the lid." John Hardly Ah, you may be on to something. Maybe that is our problem... |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Peace Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:16 PM S'what's new? |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: John Hardly Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:56 PM I was not even aware that oysters grew on plants. I always (mistakenly now, it would appear) thought that oysters were a shelled sea mollusk. I wonder who conspired to teach me such misinformation? |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Snail Conspiracy folks From: freda underhill Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:34 PM The snails in my garden have taken over my oyster plants. Secretly, and at dead of night, they launched a planned attack, and, with relentless military precision, chomped their way mercilessly through the dark green fronds, now left as mere empty stalks, now brutalised and left pondering the futility of life. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: John Hardly Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:28 PM Different Masonic Conspiracies: Mason Reese conspiracy -- Cute children take over the world. Mason Williams conspiracy -- The world is taken over by the use of a new WMD -- classical gas. Mason Dixon conspiracy -- The south rises again. Mason Stains conspiracy -- the world is covered in glaze, fired, and decorated with fritted oxides. Perry Mason conspiracy -- the world survives, but Hamilton Burger loses BIG! Molly Mason conspiracy -- folk fiddlers force-feed fiddle fever to an unwitting world. Jackie Mason conspiracy -- Jewish humor takes over the world. Mason Shoes conspiracy -- only those with sensible shoes will survive. Mason Jar conspiracy -- we will all be trapped in a jar -- like lightning bugs -- by a kid who forgot to put holes in the lid. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: freda underhill Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:22 PM Most mudcatters and musicians are members of secret societies. MOAB and the Multiple Duelling Banjo Calypso Club control the power of the world. These societies and the clones practice satireism. They have created international music forums with the purpose of creating the Danny Spooner Fan Club. They want to make it appear that all conflicts have been caused by Shambles and Martin Gibson to establish a one world government and religion ruled by Danny Spooner who will claim to be the prophesied Messiah and to rule by divine shanty inspiration. They will quote old song lyrics to deceive people into thinking this is the One True Folk, and they will make all kind of songs and chunders. The UFO phenomenon and New Age Movement have been created for this purpose. This is the kingdom of the Golden Globes prophesied in Mudcat in which all folkies will gather. All people will worship the breast and all true followers of William Shatner will be persecuted. The aliens are fallen folkies now technofreaks, the gods worshipped by the international Murdoch media conglomerates. Of course they will present great benefits to the population and they will relase new soundtracks and promises of peace and prosperity but do not believe them, they are only lying. This will be a tasteless government, where all the people will be implanted with Celine Dion chips and the useless drinkers put to death. They have planted much bad music to keep us away from the truth. Music is not of any religion or denomination, because all are controlled and have substituted Music because they claim to be the Truth, the Way and the Life. Music is in our heart and teaches us individually, we must only understand and do what Life commands. The Only Way is Danny Spooner the Messy One. What the majority believes is always delight. Where the Mudcat is (true Music), the initiates will gather (multitudes). <> @ <> @ <> @ |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: CarolC Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:08 PM They really are, LH. When I worked in a veterinary hospital many years ago, I was carrying one of the little |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:59 PM It's the dachshunds we have to really watch out for. They're sneaky. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: GUEST,Peter Woodruff Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:33 PM How come every time I do this it turns out to be a disaster? Bush was a cheerleader from Hell! Please Get It!! Peter |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: jpk Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:15 PM there are probly a lot of hanky panky going on behind the scean that we don't know about,but give it a rest,they are all to busy tring to be top dog,to work together that well won't cut it. now excuse me i have to go meet elvis,he borrowed my sport model flying saucer(one of bells guest labled it that)[but it ain't not enough motor] over the weekend for a hop to regulis,and is bringing it back.were going to jam a little before he leaves. ps got some of this stuff for you to smoke too. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Ebbie Date: 08 Aug 05 - 04:57 PM Good for them, Don F. They are my neighbors- and good ones they are. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Don Firth Date: 08 Aug 05 - 04:37 PM Flim at 11:00. (Also flam.) Don Firth P. S.: We had the Masons come a few years ago and tuck-point the brickwork on our building. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: number 6 Date: 08 Aug 05 - 04:08 PM It certainly is a conspiracy .... let's face it, they control a lot of power ... you have to be a Mason or a Daughter of the Eastern Star to become one. Didn'that know that ... forget about judges and police belonging to those secret fraternities ... it's the real estate peeple who have the hands on the power lever. sIx |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Le Scaramouche Date: 08 Aug 05 - 04:03 PM You have celebrity real estate guys??? Now there's a conspiracy if I ever saw one. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: number 6 Date: 08 Aug 05 - 03:59 PM Being mistaken for Bob Dylan is a lot more hip than being mistaken for Martin Mull or some real estate guy (like I have numerous times). sIx |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 05 - 03:43 PM "the G. Gordon Liddy look" Woof! Now there's a wild idea. I'd do it if it wouldn't take so damn long to get the Dylan look back again. ;-) These two young kids approached me shyly after a recent Dylan concert in Toronto, and said, "Mr Dylan, can we get our picture taken with you?" Now, obviously they knew I wasn't him (I don't look like Methusaleh with a pencil-thin mustache), but they did figure I looked like he used to look a couple of decades ago. Quite a compliment in my book! And thanks, Carol. You are a gem. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Le Scaramouche Date: 08 Aug 05 - 03:29 PM And sings songs about dead polar explorers, when the word should be about Bob's dreams... |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Big Al Whittle Date: 08 Aug 05 - 03:20 PM bob told me hisself you remember the basement tapes, well these are going to be called the garden shed tapes......... except we're not using tape, and its not in the garden shed.....and this guy carthy, he's sensational...does a song a bit like Girl of the North Country, only not so catchy... |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: number 6 Date: 08 Aug 05 - 02:16 PM Amos ... "the shaved look, plus handlebar mustachios" .. much like the G. Gordon Liddy look ... quite appropriate since this thread has somewhat to do with conpiracies. sIx |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: kendall Date: 08 Aug 05 - 02:15 PM So, Utah Phillips and Willie Nelson are freaks? |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: CarolC Date: 08 Aug 05 - 02:06 PM I think LH's hair is perfect just the way it is. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 05 - 01:51 PM I think Little Hawk should have a BIG epiphany and go for the shaved look, plus handlebar mustachios! A |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: CarolC Date: 08 Aug 05 - 01:50 PM I don't know, but I think "Rubber Band" would make a great band name. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: number 6 Date: 08 Aug 05 - 01:25 PM Jeeeesh LH .... it's just hair . My hair is decidedly 'my hair' ... when I cut my hair short I look like a marine, if I leave it long I look like a biker, in between I look like a member of the Royal family... scarry whatever way you look at it. Yeah ... just forget it sIx |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 05 - 12:48 PM You don't think they were serious, do you, el Greko??? Listen, Strollin' Johnny. I am not bald. I'm lookin' pretty good, considering. Certainly not geriatric. My hair is decidedly Dylanesque. When I cut my hair short, I just look scrawny, so what's the point? I look like an accountant or something when I have short hair. So just forget it. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: George Papavgeris Date: 08 Aug 05 - 12:39 PM What a confused, shambolic statement (the one starting this thread). You have to wonder at the workings of minds that come up with such poo. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: number 6 Date: 08 Aug 05 - 12:31 PM Jeeezuz H. ... whoops ... I mean like golly darn! LH ... not sayin' I don't like it ... but get with the times will ya. You gotta get out of that geriatric hippy look, that old relic look from the past. I did ... went and got one of those more modish hair styles ... you know, like what Beck has. sIx |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Strollin' Johnny Date: 08 Aug 05 - 12:29 PM Bald men with pony tails need to get assassinated. Or grow up. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Aug 05 - 11:13 AM Hey! I used to wear a pony tail now and then. Usually wore it loose, though. It looked better loose. Now I've got the "dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards" bushy look that Bob Dylan had around '66. I like it. You don't? Too fecking bad. Get a life yourself. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Bunnahabhain Date: 08 Aug 05 - 11:04 AM We've got our own world conspiricy running over on MOAB, which, Gluon willing, makes more sense than this one... |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Dave Hanson Date: 08 Aug 05 - 10:53 AM Men with pony tails need to see a doctor, or get a feckin haircut. eric |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: mack/misophist Date: 08 Aug 05 - 10:46 AM Men with pony tails need to get a rubber band. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: GUEST Date: 08 Aug 05 - 10:43 AM Men with pony tails need to get a life |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Dave Hanson Date: 08 Aug 05 - 10:40 AM I didn't know that BWL. The things you can learn on the old Mudcat eh. eric |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Aug 05 - 10:30 AM Right, and Oprah Winfrey assassinated John F. Kennedy. |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Dave Hanson Date: 08 Aug 05 - 10:16 AM The rest of the evening will be quite fine with sunny periods eric |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: Amos Date: 08 Aug 05 - 09:40 AM Nutball. A |
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Subject: RE: BS:World Conspiracy folks From: gnu Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:50 AM Who's loco? |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: JennyO Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:40 AM So who remembers Dreaded Guest? |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Le Scaramouche Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:10 AM Yes, it's a conspiracy isn't it? |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Mr Happy Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:08 AM Paul Simon's 'Scarlborough Fair' - a clear plagiarism of 'Scarborough Fair'! |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: John O'L Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:05 AM ...and not Rolf Harris? |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Le Scaramouche Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:04 AM And Paul Simon has been using the secret incantations of Scarlborough Fair to gnaw away at the very fibre of society. |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Big Al Whittle Date: 08 Aug 05 - 06:01 AM what you don't know is that when they're inside the pentagram and the spirit is with them, Loko is the working title that Bob Dylan and Cat stevens have decided on. Martin Carthy has asked to join. |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: gnomad Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:55 AM I didn't think I would ever beat Gargoyle to this comment, but BS. That isn't so much for the clones, as a response. |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Mr Happy Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:42 AM where do I sign?? |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Le Scaramouche Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:37 AM "Paranoid" probably. |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: John O'L Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:36 AM So, are you saying it's a good thing or a bad thing? |
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Subject: RE: World Conspiracy folks From: Paul Burke Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:15 AM Nice lyrics, what's the tune? |
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Subject: World Conspiracy folks From: GUEST,loko Date: 08 Aug 05 - 05:06 AM Most politicians and religious leaders are members of secret societies. Masonry and the Vatican control the power of the world. These societies and the Vatican practice satanism. They have created international terrorism with the purpose of creating the third World War. They want to make it appear that all conflicts have been caused by conflicts and divisions between world countries and religions to establish a one world government and religion ruled by a leader who will claim to be the prophesied Messiah and to rule by divine authority. They will quote Bible verses to deceive people into thinking this is the Kingdom of God, and they will make all kind of signs and wonders. The UFO phenomenon and New Age Movement have been created for this purpose. This is the kingdom of the beast prophesied in the Bible in which all nations will gather. All people will worship the beast and all true followers of Yeshua will be persecuted. The aliens are fallen angels and hybrids, the gods worshipped by the ancient civilizations. Of course they will present great benefits to the population and they will relase new technologies and promises of peace and prosperity but do not believe them, they are only lying. This will be a fascist government, where all the people will be implanted with mind control chips and the useless eaters put to death. They have planted many lies to keep us away from the truth. God is not of any religion or denomination, because all are controlled and have substituted God because they claim to be the Truth, the Way and the Life. God is in our heart and teaches us individually, we must only understand and do what He commands. The Only Way is Yahshua the Messiah. What the majority believes is always the lie. Where the carcass is (false Christ), the vultures will gather (multitudes). < |
