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BS: Shane's approval ratings way down...
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Subject: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Darlene in Blind River Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:00 PM They are. Trust me. His ratings are WAY down. The flippin' goof got himself arrested again, eh? He is in the slammer as I speak. This is after him being a total A-hole for ever since anyone can remember. He called me a skank more than once because I would not go out with him. Well, it takes a plenty dumb broad to go out with Shane, let me tell ya. She has to be either majorly desperite or totally out of it or a complete idiot whichever comes first. There are some who have, tho. Emma went out with Shane once. She would go to bed with a flippin' warthog if it had a pizza and a working TV. No joke. Emma is a slut. Anyway, even Emma hadda admit that it was kind of a waist of time. Shane is a major looser who thinks that he is the king of Blind River! That is a laff and a half! He couldn't win at horseshoes if he got 35 throws and the competishun was blindfolded. His sexual abilities are limited. That's what I hear. But he thinks he is the cat's flippin' ass, that's what he thinks. I laff every time I hear about the latest idiotic thing he has done. His brother Don is not bad. I would go parking with Don anytime. Don has a truck, and he even sort of owns it. He works at the garage. Shane is always going on about that Don is bald, like it was a bad thing, but I don't see what the hell difference it makes. You turn 'em upside down and they all look the same, right? Well, me and Sherry and the girls are gonna get drunk tonight and go drive up to where they are keeping Shane, and we are gonna flash our boobs at the poor bastard from the other side of the chain link fence and then give him the finger and laff at him and drive off. Ha! Ha! Ha! Serves him right. He can't get no beer in there! I never forget the time when he stole my tip money and didn't pay for the beer at the Iron Horse. Shane is a complete bolthole in need of corporial punishment by big cops in black skintight wetsuits. He is Canada's champion moron! And he's in love with a female cop who is a tight-assed, rotten, stuck-up bitch! What a looser. Sign me, Darlene, the Queen of Blind River |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:06 PM Blind River is just big enough for one Queen. Didn't know Shane was so inclined--other than being so inclined he often falls down. Live and learn. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Darlene Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:13 PM Yeah? Who the flip are you, Peace? I am a hot chick and I can be the Queen of this flippin' town if I want to. I don't see no big compettishun out there at the moment. I done good at the wet T-shirt contest. You must be one of those idiots that reads Shan'es dumb stories in the newspaper. He achshually has fans! There are some pretty stupid people around here. Darlene |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:28 PM Pardon me, ma'am. I misunderstood the word 'queen'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:31 PM Uh, pardon the personal question, Darlene, but Shane once mentioned some one named Dar and said that she could suck a golf ball through six feet of garden hose. Was that you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Darlene Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:38 PM FLIP YOU! You stup9id flip[in' bolthole of a dead flippin' son of a whore! You come to Blind River and I will kick your flippin' ass around the town! I did not start this dishcussion to talk to you, jerk! Me and the girls are going out to give Shane a little thrill. I will deal with you later. So go flip yourself in the meeantime. Nobody else will, right? Darlene |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:39 PM Oh, it wasn't YOU then. Give my best regards to Shane. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Amos Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:42 PM ROFLMA...BTW Peace, when did you stop beating your, um, wife? LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:43 PM "You come to Blind River and I will kick your flippin' ass around the town!" Gee, I usually have to PAY for that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Don the Man Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:46 PM Ha! I heard about this and logged on. Damn funny. I know Darlene. She CAN do that thing with the golf ball. I know for a fact that she can even do it with a baseball! Now we gotta see if she can do it with a softball! Hell, make it a BASKETBALL! I have faith in Darlene's abilities, eh? ROTFLMAO!!! This oughta be good. I may drive up there too, and see if I can get a peep when they flash the boy. He is goin' totally flippin' stir-crazy. No beer, no smokes, no nothin'. He's still alive though. That surprises me. He's tougher than I thought, eh? Officer flippin' Dan is keepin' a close eye on Shane. She figgers to make a man out of him yet. She is stone crazy, that woman. If he lives, he can have her, far as I'm concerned. Don |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:50 PM Is Darlene the one referred to as the town bicycle? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Don the Man Date: 12 Sep 05 - 08:59 PM She is the town MOUTH is what she is. She did win the last wet T-shirt contest over to the hotel too. I was there. She beat out the rest, but not by a nose...know what i'm sayin'? Alberta could rent her to lay down out there west of Banf if the mountains ever get eroded away. THAT would bring them truckers rollin' in! HA! Man, I am gonna gas up the truck and follow them up there. This oughta be real good! I'm outta here. Don |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Rapparee Date: 12 Sep 05 - 11:21 PM Well, well. Looks like ol' Shane is finally gonna get some looky. From what I hear about prison life, he probably doesn't like girls anymore. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Major Nigel West, CGC Date: 12 Sep 05 - 11:26 PM Invalided out and still carrying some metal from one of those IEDs, as the Yanks call 'em. Thought I might emigrate to Canada, settle in Ontario on a spot of land. Blind River was intriguing, but not anymore, I'm afraid. Iraq now seems sleepy and quiet by comparison. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 13 Sep 05 - 04:19 AM Shane Warne and don bradman related....? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Le Scaramouche Date: 13 Sep 05 - 04:25 AM Medication time? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Rapparee Date: 13 Sep 05 - 09:07 AM Hmmm...Shane needs to meet Veronica Rutledge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Cluin Date: 13 Sep 05 - 10:41 AM From what I heard, Dar really knows how to "give `er, give `er, Blind River". I'll have to make a trip down the line soon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Le Scaramouche Date: 13 Sep 05 - 12:22 PM And on the jukebox Ray and Philomena sang about a thing called love.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Le Scaramouche Date: 13 Sep 05 - 12:25 PM Oops, make that 'my elusive dreams'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: GUEST,Wayne Bartels, Sudbury Sapsucker Date: 13 Sep 05 - 01:08 PM This just in. Four young women from the Blind River area were arrested last night by the Ontario Provincial Police, after creating a disturbance at the Moon Lake Protectional and Rehabilitation Facility north of Blind River. The four women were first spotted near the outer permimeter of the facility, where they were attempting to attract the attention of the inmates. "I woke up in the middle of the night, eh?" said Shane McBride, a writer from Blind River, well known for his humorous writings in this very publication. "I heard all this awful screeching. It sounded like Friday night just after last call at the f------in' Iron Horse tavern, eh? So I, like, got up, eh? And I looked out the window. There were these four girls all yellin' and wavin' their T-shirts around, eh? They were flashin' the whole place. I mean, full frontal f------in' nudity, eh? That ain't hardly fair when ya been stuck in a place where there ain't no women fer awhile. It is hard on the system, eh? They coulda showed a little f------in' sensitivity and have climbed the fence, quiet-like, instead of makin' a big row outside which don't do no one no good at all." After disturbing most of the inmates and making lewd gestures at the guards the four women fled to their car and drove off. Prison staff contacted OPP Lieutenant Jennifer Dana who was on duty nearby in her cruiser at the time, and she began a pursuit of the suspect vehicle going south. This resulted in a 12 minute car chase during which the suspect vehicle was clocked at speeds exceeding 170 kilometres per hour. "The suspects tossed a large number of beer bottles out of the back window of their car," said Officer Dana, "due to the fact that the car's back window had previously been broken out. Two of those full beer bottles hit and shattered the window of my cruiser, endangering my life. It was at this point that I decided to open fire on the rear tires of the suspect vehicle in an attempt to force it to pull over. I fired six shots, and did manage to puncture the left tire, but they still would not pull over. I had already called for backup, and there were two other officers speeding to the scene." The chase finally ended at the intersection of Lonesome Mugwash Drive and Green River Lane, where the suspect vehicle collided with a deer, killing it, carombed across the intersection, sideswiped the cruiser of Lieutenant Orville Cooper of the Sudbury OPP, and T-boned the cruiser of OPP Lieutenant James Snowden of the Iron Bridge OPP. The four women then hastily abandoned their vehicle. One fled into the woods, while the other three got into what Officer Dana describes as "a hell of a fight" with the three police officers. "I was bitten, kicked in the groin, had my eyes gouged, and got punched in the face," said Officer James. "I never heard such bad language in my life. These weren't women in the normal sense of the word, they were like wild animals." "Death threats were uttered," said Officer Dana. "One of the suspects, a woman named Darlene, attempted to take my revolver from me and shoot Officer Snowden with it. Fortunately, it was empty at the time. We had a struggle over the gun, during which I sustained some superficial facial injuries, and a cracked rib. I then subdued the suspect with several blows from my fists and my nightstick, long enough to put handcuffs on her. Basic training came in handy this time, let me tell you." By the time further backup had arrived the three women had been handcuffed and more or less subdued, but 6 officers were required to get them into the back of a paddy wagon. Arrested were: Darlene Scratch of Blind River, Britney Boudreau of Blind River, and Joyce Ottonabee of Blind River. Alice Kawagishigamog of Serpent River was later picked up in a sweep through the woods east of the intersection. Three of the women have been charged with creating a public disturbance, resisting arrest, agrravated assault, public drunkeness and possession of marijuana. Darlene Scratch has additionally been charged with uttering death threats, attempted murder, trespassing, carrying a concealed weapon, lewd behaviour, drunken driving, dangerous driving, driving under suspension, littering, operating a motor vehicle in an unsafe condition, theft, and gross indecency. "...and that's just the beginning," says Officer Dana. "We have hard cases here." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 13 Sep 05 - 02:00 PM '"We have hard cases here."' aHEM! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Rapparee Date: 13 Sep 05 - 02:09 PM Sorry to learn of the women's troubles, but I'm glad to hear that they're keeping Shane abreast of things. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 13 Sep 05 - 02:17 PM It was Dar who gave Shane a dose of the clap. One-woman epidemic with an attitude. Shane likely passed it on to the prison population. Shane's Blues It's been a long night baby, It's been a long night all day long; It's been a long night baby, It's been a lng night all day long; I scream when I'm goin' So I wrote this little song. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Peace Date: 13 Sep 05 - 02:19 PM So I sit here wond'rin' Why does it burn when I peeee; I sit here won'drin' Why does it burn when I peeee; I sit here won'rin' Why Darlene gave this to meeee. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Little Hawk Date: 13 Sep 05 - 02:32 PM Blind River. A little piece of hell in scenic North Ontario. Love it or leave it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Aug 10 - 06:01 PM Given the fact that Shane McBride may be dead, I think it's time to get nostalgic and reminisce a bit over the joy and inspiration he has brought into all our lives. Time to remember his sterling qualities and his brave deeds. With that in mind, I have revived this thread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Shane's approval ratings way down... From: Rapparee Date: 23 Aug 10 - 08:06 PM Say what?? As I mentioned elsewhere, his biggest gift to humanity was his sterility. |
