BS: Ask Karen

Subject: BS: Ask Karen
From: Pied Piper
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:17 AM

The USDA has thoughtfully addressed your need to know about food safety in an emergency, so just ask Karen.

Warning, she's easily confused.

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Pied Piper
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:24 AM

Try "Can I eat my dog"

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:50 AM

Q: Is it true that placenta is nutritious?
A: I'm sorry, I don't understand your question. I am trained to answer food safety questions about foodborne illness, and the safe storage, handling and preparation of meat, poultry and egg products. Please reword your question and try again.

Q: How can I store placenta safely?
A: I'm sorry, I don't understand your question. Please check your spelling, or reword your question, and try again.

Q: Placenta!
A: I'm sorry I haven't been able to help with your food safety needs today. For further assistance please contact the USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline at 1-888-MPHotline (1-888-674-6854), or send an Email to [e-mail]. Thank you.

LOL.....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:54 AM

Q: What is the nutritive value of Marmite?

She doesn't know about Marmite! Nor Kitty Litter Cake, nor even Edible Dormouse!

However she is a treasure trove on Turkey.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 12:04 PM

She DOES have the party line on Avian Flu though....

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: MMario
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 12:04 PM

also knows nothing re: tripe, intestines, sweetbreads, grackles, larks, kidneys, liver, steak, peafowl - refers you to other sources for shellfish, fish, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Wesley S
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 02:10 PM

MMario - Who would want to eat any of those things anyway ? Except steak.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 02:19 PM

Tripe = menudo, yum!

Sweetbreads, kidneys, yum!

Clearly, Karen must prefer to do it on the phone.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 03:52 PM

Q. Is there good nutrition in dog food?

A. Nutrition is the study of foods that nourish the body. To obtain the nutrients and other substances needed for good health, vary the foods you eat. A healthful, nutritious eating pattern can be enjoyed with many combinations of foods from the five major food groups found in the Food Guide Pyramid.

She doesn't say which group she considers dog food to be in.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 04:45 PM

She seems to think cats are deer, which is silly... everyone knows cat is the other white meat....

LTS



(I got me coat ages ago)

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 05:10 PM

Q: Is coprophagia healthy?
A: I'm sorry I haven't been able to help with your food safety needs today. For further assistance please contact the USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline at 1-888-MPHotline (1-888-674-6854), or send an Email to [e-mail]. Thank you.

o-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Cluin
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 05:29 PM

How about cunnilingus?

This is a U.S. Government Web site. Our site is here to address the serious topic of food safety and to answer your food safety questions. Please type in a food safety question or exit this site.


Looks like somebody down there has caught on. No more fun.

Wait? Is that act still illegal federally?

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 07:38 PM

if you think she answers funny online, be glad you don't have to try her through voicemail!

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 09:08 PM

;~(())

Thanks for pointing out this wonderful thread. May it grow long and prosper!

Try "rocky mountain oysters" for a good time!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:22 PM

Q: Rocky Mountain Oysters
A: Fish are any of various completely, aquatic, cold-blooded vertebrates, having gills, commonly fins, and typically an elongated body usually covered with scales. Shellfish are defined as aquatic animals having a shell, as do the oyster and other mollusks and the lobster and other crustaceans. Fish are inspected by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

How can I prepare seafood?
How long can you store fish?
Is it risky to eat raw oysters?
Is sushi safe?
Is there mercury in tuna?
What are the symptoms of Vibrio vulnificus?
What is Vibrio vulnificus?
When fishing, how do I keep my catch safe to eat?
Fish?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:25 PM

As "mudcat" is a type of catfish, of course I had to check that one-- but alas, she thinks that's deer, too.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 11:59 PM

Q: Is Mudcat good for you?

A: Deer live in woodlands all over Europe, Asia, northern Africa and America. There are many deer species of various sizes but all the males grow antlers. The meat is lean and has a gamey flavor that can be made milder if soaked overnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:43 AM

Yep, soak me in gin overnight and I definately get milder!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 05:21 AM

Just ask about roadkill.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 08:44 AM

Is cat in one of the food groups?

Because doneness and safety cannot be judged by color, it is very important to use a meat thermometer when cooking ground beef. To be sure all harmful bacteria are destroyed, cook all ground beef products to an internal temperature of 160 °F throughout. Ground beef can be pink inside after it is safely cooked. The pink color can be due to a reaction between the oven heat and myoglobin, which causes a red or pink color. It can also occur when vegetables containing nitrites are cooked along with the meat. Color of Meat and Poultry

How did she get from cat to ground beef? Oh, wait, I really don't want to know...

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:52 AM

Q: Would you cook road kill in a pressure cooker for tenderness?

A: Most pathogens are destroyed between 140 °F and 160 °F. However, for best quality, meat and poultry require various internal temperatures for doneness.

--Cook ground meats to 160 °F; ground poultry to 165 °F.

--Beef, veal, and lamb steaks, roasts, and chops may be cooked to 145 °F; all cuts of fresh pork, 160 °F.

--Whole poultry should reach 180 °F in the thigh; breasts, 170 °F.

--Casseroles and other dishes containing eggs should be cooked to 160 °F.

A chart, listing safe internal temperatures for many foods, is part of the brochure Use A Food Thermometer featuring Thermy (Trade mark). The temperatures on the chart are recommended for consumer cooking. They are not intended for processing, institutional, or foodservice preparation.

Food service professionals should consult their state or local food code.


I guess the answer is "no" since she doesn't mention flattened fauna.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 10:57 AM

We are having way to much fun with this...

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 11:00 AM

I got the same answer as SRS when I asked what temperature singing mice should be cooked at. However, none of the foods she mentions even vaguely resemble mouse.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 11:35 AM

Well, we all know that being a Mudcatter can only be an aid to anyone-- she's doing the best she can without having had a chance to see our food threads-- so maybe she will find her way here before too long. :~)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:21 PM

It also it seems to think you cook pasta and rice as poultry. It is rather amusing...

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:07 PM

How about camel toe?

...The meat is lean and has a gamey flavor that can be made milder if soaked overnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:13 PM

What is the nutritional value of a Big Mac?

A pig is defined as a young swine weighing less than 120 pounds. The domestication of pigs, or immature hogs, for food dates back to about 7000 B.C. in the Middle East.



That's what you get for asking a semi-serious question.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 07:45 PM

You really don't work very well, do you, Karen? Just whom did you sleep with to get this gig anyway?

To obtain information about jobs in USDA's Food Safety and Inspection Service, go to Food Safety Jobs Online. For specific information about jobs for food inspectors, call [phone] or [phone] in Minneapolis. For Further Information Contact: FSIS Human Resources Division 1400 Independence Ave., SW Room 3150-South Building Washington, DC 20250-3700 Phone: [phone] Fax: [phone] TTY: [phone]

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 07:56 PM

Um, Cluin, was she calling YOU a pig, or is she saying a Bic Mac is pork?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 08:05 PM

I dunno, S.

When I pressed her on the matter, all she would say was that she could tell I was upset about something.

She also seemed to think my name is Dave.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:19 PM

LOL!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:30 PM

"Is hair pie nutritious?"
A foreign object is extraneous matter in food that can cause injury or illness in the person consuming the product. Examples may include glass, metal, insect or animal parts, chemicals, allergens, plastic and wood.

I found the answer for camel toe to be more to the point; but it didn't sound like Karen hangs out with girls with very good hygiene.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: bobad
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 10:03 PM

SRS

I think the instructions for "ground" meats would be close enough from which to extrapolate.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Pied Piper
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 07:40 AM

"Open the pod-bay doors Karen"

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: ranger1
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 09:56 AM

What is the best method for cooking cockroaches?

Most pathogens are destroyed between 140 °F and 160 °F. However, for best quality, meat and poultry require various internal temperatures for doneness.

--Cook ground meats to 160 °F; ground poultry to 165 °F.

--Beef, veal, and lamb steaks, roasts, and chops may be cooked to 145 °F; all cuts of fresh pork, 160 °F.

--Whole poultry should reach 180 °F in the thigh; breasts, 170 °F.

--Casseroles and other dishes containing eggs should be cooked to 160 °F.

A chart, listing safe internal temperatures for many foods, is part of the brochure Use A Food Thermometer featuring Thermy (Trade mark). The temperatures on the chart are recommended for consumer cooking. They are not intended for processing, institutional, or foodservice preparation.

Food service professionals should consult their state or local food code.


So does this mean Cockroach Cassarole for dinner? Do they make small enough food thermometers to use on cockroach? I think Karen is confused.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 05:26 PM

Beans make me fart.

USDA's Food Safety and Inspection Service inspects only meat, poultry and egg products. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) inspects fruits and vegetables. You can call them toll-free at [phone] or go to their Web site at www.fda.gov.


I think I got the brush-off.

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 06:41 AM

What do woodlice taste like?

The U.S. government has a portal site, Nutrition.gov where you can search for nutrition, health management and food safety resources. The section called Food Facts would be a good place to begin. Another excellent site is the American Dietetic Association. Your local Cooperative Extension Office (check the blue pages of the phone book) is another source for information on diet and nutrition.


How do I cook woodlice?

The minimum oven temperature to use when cooking poultry is 325 °F. Using a food thermometer is the only sure way of knowing if your food has reached a high enough temperature to destroy foodborne bacteria. The USDA recommends cooking whole poultry to 180 °F as measured in the thigh using a food thermometer. When cooking pieces, the breast should reach 170 °F internally. Drumsticks, thighs, and wings should be cooked until they reach an internal temperature of 180 °F. For proper internal temperatures, go to Thermy. For approximate cooking times, contact the USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline 1-888-MPHotline (1-888-674-6854).


Where can I find a food thermometer small enough?

Reliable food thermometers, such as digital instant-read devices, are becoming widely available. Retailers who carry thermometers may include grocery stores, discount stores, department or home specialty stores, kitchen or gourmet food stores, hardware stores, or stores where barbecue grills are sold. To purchase specialized equipment for institutional use (for example, thermocouples) you may have to check with retailers in your area that supply restaurants and foodservice establishments.


Mmmmm. Woodlice drumsticks - yummy!

Subject: RE: BS: Ask Karen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM

Cluster Fly Hot Wings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~S~