Add to this possible song from Art

Subject: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 01:46 PM

I was lookin' out the window, across the valley here to the south bluff of the frozen Illinois River in the distance on this very cold December morning. We have a great view of the sweeping bend here at Peru. The towboats are almost too far away to see 'em well, but with good binoculars, I can watch those just fine! It's important to me, ever since I sang on Miss. River steamboats all those years, that I stay "in touch" with THE RIVER.

While watching that scene, this verse popped into my head. PLEASE, to paraphrase Harry Carey exhorting the Cubs, once again, to come from behind, "LET'S GET MORE VERSES!!" --please

If the river was frozen and I was a diving duck,
I'd dive to the bottom but I never could come up,

chorus)
Tell me how long, can I hold my breath?
Before my air goes--and I see what's after death!

(Art---in a dumb mood again I guess ;-)

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Jeri
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 01:57 PM

I'm about as blue as a boy can be
Come under this ice, and be blue as me

Proctology ain't what I wanna do
But ass-fix-iation is somethin' new

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Janie
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 01:58 PM

Walked into the cabin where the propane leaked
Gasped tell me momma "why you look so piqued?"

Tell me how long....

Janie

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 03:59 PM

River is long, and river is deep
But an old river bottom ain't nuthin' to keep!

A

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: open mike
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 05:25 PM

the illinois river is nearly all froze
the ducks must keep paddlin' to keep ice from their toes

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 06:06 PM

Nobody knows of the pain that goes
With frozen beak and wings and toes.

chorus)
Tell me how long -- do I have to wait?
Take me to the chef and serve me on a plate.

Yes, call a toe truck and haul me away,
Webbed feet ain't got no digits anyway.

chorus)
I'll down a few Viagra and it won't be long...
Before it will be at least as long as this dumb-ass song.


Am I right or left -- or just a pain in the tushes,
One bird in the hand is worth both George Bushes!

Tell me how long---do I have to wait,
To get home from Iraq---or must I hesitate.

Art Thieme (This song needed some actual direction---so I morphed it into a protest song!)

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 09:18 PM

The magician Houdini went down to the river
Came up in the wrong spot, he did shake and shiver.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Once Famous
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 09:24 PM

I went to the river and what did I see.

A Chicago style hot with everything on it.

(was rhyming mandatory?)

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Bard Judith
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 09:32 PM

I went down to the river to pray,
Talked to my God in my own quiet way,
Guy on the bank shouts "Infidel!
Ya didn't close yer eyes so yer goin' to hell!"

Tell me, how long can I hold my breath,
Before I see for sure what's after death?






(Politics AND religion...now if someone will add a verse on money, another one on the inlaws - I'm sure we won't have to request 'sex'- we'll have most of the Hot Topics covered!)

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:03 PM

Billy The Kid and old Jesse James,
Pretty Boy Floyd sure wasn't tame,
Al Capone in Chicago---he made a pile,
Them outlaws got INLAWS beat by a mile.

Martin, how long do you gotta wait?
A chicken ain't nuttin' but the bird---and I just gave it to you!!!

(That don't rhyme either, but I snuck it in ;-)

Love,

Art

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Tammy Swinette
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:15 PM

I loved George Jones and I don't know why,
He'd drink an cuss and punch me in the eye!

Tell me how long do I have to wait?
I'm dead and he's not---He can masterbate.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:18 PM

Bard Judith,

I sure hope you're happy now!!

Art ;-)

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:24 PM

The river done froze
When I stuck my nose
Where it don't belong
Now my woman's gone
And my holes all blowed!

Tell me how long do I have to wait
For cheaper oil via Kuwait?

LOL...luvya, Art Dear,

kat

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:24 PM

Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa just a-struttin through heaven,
Decided to rob a Seven-Eleven.

How long should we make this song?
A dozen more verses and we couldn't go wrong.

Art

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:43 PM

I'm hearin' it like so...

sprightly(D)If the river was frozen and I (G)was a diving (D)duck,
I'd (A)dive to the bottom but I (G)never could come (D)up,

chorus)
Tell me (A)how long, can I (C)hold my (D)breath?
Before my (A)air goes--and I (G)see what's after (D)death!

Try it! Practically plays itself.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:45 PM

Kat and Rog---he's her good old man,
That last verse o' yours sure didn't SCAN.

Chorus)
Tell me how wrong can a president be,
Keep watching Bush and you're gonna see!

Art

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:53 PM

That gal Kat is one of the best women
Her style's beyond compare but she sometimes needs a little help with her rhythm

And don't blame LEJ 'cause he can't rhyme
He'd do a little better if he had more time

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 12:14 AM

LEJ,

Sure would sound good in that key,
But if I do it your way, I'd have to pay!

Tell me how long does your copyright last,
I'll sing it anyway--so kiss my mule.

That don't come even close--to no kind o' rhyme,
But you get the gist of what I'm sayin' this time.

Tell me how King Kong could be as good as it been,
I knew the dumb old story---but it sucked me in!

And tell me how long should one movie be,
I sat there watching even though I had to pee.

Love,

Art

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 12:18 AM

Now Ole Lonsome EJ, he's a fine young man
And he knows how to make a good verse scan

If he could get paid for his rhyme and his scansion
He'd give up his day job, and live in a mansion!

Tell me how long, will he have to wait
Can he quit work now, so he can just create?

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 12:34 AM

Flattering, LeeJ, will sure get you somewhere
But, Kat's got rhythm, 'cause her kids stopped at one plus a pair!

Don't blame the dog that peed the bush
He was doing his best patriotic dew-tee!


**BG** ARRRgggghhhhh..I'm outta practice...any volunteers?!**bg**

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 01:57 AM

So Art, Up that Empire State Building with you!
You oughtta know by now, Monkey see Monkey Do

And Amos knows songs from Abba to Zappa
He can even sing Dylan while sittin' in the crappa

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 05:57 AM

The first posting suggested a protest song to me too. Perhaps:

Swimmin' in the office pool,
They said I'd get ahead
But every time I try to rise
The (glass?) ceiling hits my head.

(There's lots of them there besides the "glass" one.)

John

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: David C. Carter
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 06:28 AM

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a pile of wrought iron junk,
They took some soap,plenty of dope
and best friend Henry,The Skunk,

They sailed away,for a year and a day
To the land of the Billabong Tree,
Where they met with a pig,dancing a Jig
With a Banjo on his knee,



sorry

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 08:47 PM

...ah, I guess silliness be the last refuge of the doomed!! (I think Opus said that!)

Art

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Once Famous
Date: 20 Dec 05 - 09:15 PM

I went to Evanston just to see Art play
But he wasn't my cup of tea, so I went away.

That was years ago, but I remember it so.
Goodman and Prine put on a much better show.

Bird back to ya, Art.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 01:52 AM

Martin,

I remember that night. It was good to see you too. I'm pretty certain it was the night my grandmother died, if I'm remembering right. Or the day I blew out my knee at football practice for good old Lake View. Whichever, thanks for reminding me. That wasn't, as you said, my best show.

Art

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Martin gibson
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 05:45 PM

No, it was the night you said you were glad to be there. I remember it exactly. But for what it's worth, the drinks were watered down, also.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 09:58 AM

Lets both observe the fact that we have disagreements and personality conflicts, and leave it at that!

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 11:36 AM

If the river WAS whiskey and I WERE an English teacher,
You'd flunk quicker than you could blunk!

Cheerily,
Charley Ignoble

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: Once Famous
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 12:53 PM

I'll leave it at that, Art.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,NH Dave
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 01:27 PM

A take off on an earlier posting:


Walked towards the cabin where the propane leaks
Saw momma on her way to the heavenly streets

(straight up and in very small bits)

   Dave

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: KT
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 07:59 AM

Surfin' through the 'Cat in the middle of the night
Waitin' for the breakin' of the dawn's early light
Passin' time with cyber pals that I have come to know
Haven't met Art Thieme just yet. I sure would like to, though.

I'd like to hear his story and I'd like to hear his song
And something tells me we'd be friends before too very long
Of all the songs that he could share and stories he'd deliver
I'd love to hear a tale or two about his friend, The River.

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 05:09 PM

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,KT
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 02:34 AM

So whatya say, Art? A bit about the river?

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,ritchie
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 04:31 AM

well I'ma standing here on the banks of the Tyne.
now all you folks are a mighty fine,
but what this song needs is a purty clear,
for it to get any where you're gonna have to swear,
a bit like a rap song,,,,, you know like eminem,,,, a sort of modern Bobby Dylan.

(I see this turning into 'Art's Dream' and there's the ref about a real river KT)

Subject: RE: Add to this possible song from Art
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 10:55 AM

The river is the Illinois
Flows by where we live
But the one where I sang
Was the old Mississip.

On the venerable steamboat
Called the Julia Belle Swain
The 16 hour days--every other day
Were never a pain.

Serenity and times
You wouldn't believe,
With old John Hartford
Just shootin' the breeze.

But right now I'm waiting
For a telephone call
And this computer
Ain't compatible at all.

Goodbye for now
To you good folks,
It'll be another time
When we tell more jokes.

Art