BS: Why does the dog bark?

Subject: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 05:51 PM

Miserable little thing. He won't shut up. Always mouthing off and giving everyone a headache. He is as regular and redundant as a squeaky chair, but you can't oil him.

Is it his revenge on the world for having very short legs and looking like a sausage?

Is his territorial instinct overly developed?

Is he trying to drive everyone insane?

Does he imagine that he has something important to say that MUST be heard?

Is his needle skipping?

Is he an alien lifeform, bent on planetary conquest?

Is he suffering paranoid delusions?

What is it?

And how do I shut him up?

What would Mark Trail do in a situation like this?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:00 PM

woof woof

he couldn't have put it more plainly

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:03 PM

Oh, I get it... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:03 PM

For you and your wiener, LH.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:06 PM

To get to the other side.

Oh, sorry. That was a whole 'nother riddle.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:09 PM

I've got it. The dog barks for most of the same reasons that I post on Mudcat.

Boy, this is really embarrassing...

What would Mark Trail do in a situation like this?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:10 PM

Mark Trail would shoot the dog!

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:11 PM

Hmm.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:14 PM

Excuse me, but who is Mark Trial?

Is he someone important and does it mean that I'm culturally deprived 'cause I never heard of him?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM

"Excuse me, but who is Mark Trial?"

I though he wrote the great American classic: "Huckleberry Hound."

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:22 PM

Oh, Huckleberry Hound! He's a friend of Yogi Berra, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:25 PM

Yeah. You got it.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:30 PM

Mark Trail, Azizi, is a American comic ztrip forester who teaches readers about wildlife and the ecologies of Earth. He appears to be 45ish in age but must be at least 60 by now. He used to sport a gentleman's pipe but abandoned it when he realized it was setting a bad example.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:35 PM

I actually saw this remediated today on Animal Planet. Put some loose hardware into a soda can and tape it shut. Keep it always nearby you, for the few days this will take. As SOON as you hear unwanted barking, shake the can, hard and loud, right in his face with NO and BAD DOG, voice and face. If he continues, take him forthwith to Time Out (a room away from you/his entertainment). Or, if he stops with the can shake or the voice command, as SOON as he stops, reward him and stop looking mad.

What NOT to do with a dog, is to say "No-o-o-?" No must mean NO, with downward inflection.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:37 PM

Or Nyet if it's a Russian wolfhound.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Azizi
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:42 PM

Thanks, Ebbie. Will wonders never cease! An American comic strip forester who teaches readers about wildlife and the ecology!

I guess I am culturally deprived cause I never heard of Mark Trail. But I have heard of Happy Trails.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:47 PM

Mark Trail was a popular comic strip character way back when....50's or early 60's, I think. Or was it 40's and 50's? That was when they had "adventure" comics that told an ongoing story. It's sad that those days are virtually over, I think.

Anyway, here's a link...


Mark Trail

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:48 PM

"Why does the dog bark?"

Do you have a high-pitched noise in the house that might be bugging the little tyke--other than the high-pitched noise coming FROM the little tyke?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:56 PM

hahhah Happy Trails could be sung by Mark but I don't know if he knows the song. (Incidentally, that should, of course, be comic 'strip' forester. archy, my cat, was between me and the keyboard.)

Here is a link to Mr. Trail that gives a slightly different view. Could be that I never actually followed the day to day developments:
Mark Trail Fanatics

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:57 PM

No. Believe me, this dog knows what he is doing. He is a megalomaniac, intent on world domination. He's starting with my house and yard, but that is only the modest beginning of a plan that knows no bounds in its insatiable ambition for dominance. His real purpose is to secure all edible items on the planet for his personal use alone. I intend to see that his plan is foiled.

His name is "Finnegan", by the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:01 PM

He's singing, LH. You should sing along with him. That's probably what he wants. Or maybe he just wants you to accompany him on your guitar.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:13 PM

Hark! He has started up again.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:36 PM

You've jinxed my dog with this thread, Little Hawk. I have two in the back yard, one is a barker and the other is an escape artist. An artiste. She is persistent until she finds the way out, and as I read this thread I thought "Poppy is barking more than usual, like she does when Cinnamon has gotten out." I walked to the back, and Poppy runs to me, but no Cinnamon. She was back in the next-door neighbor's yard again (but their fence stops her from going further--it's the chain link between our houses that Cinnamon gets over).

I still had my reading glasses on (blind) and it was dark with no moon (blinder) and I hopped across the fence, caught the pitbull, hoisted her over the top, climbed back over myself, and I've just put both dogs in the garage. I was sure I'd found the way she was getting over (jumping from the compost pile) but I dismantled that last week. So now I need to figure out what she is doing--she's climbing something.

Shit.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:39 PM

It would have been very funny if in the dark you had brought home the neighbor's dog...;)

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: bobad
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 08:02 PM

Like master, like pet.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM

I just say hush and my dog stops barking. She will however then resort to whining.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Peace
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 09:15 PM

LH, you need Maxwell Smart's 'Cone of Silence'.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 10:00 PM

You're right. I'll take a look on Ebay.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: GUEST,Bobert Still in North Carolina
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 10:14 PM

The reason the dog barks is because he is either dumb or bored or both... Most dogs bark 'cause they thought they jus'[ heard another dog bark...l Problem is that tghe dog they thought htdey just heard and were answering was their own dumb-dog selves...

Well, that's my theory.... The tyhink they are having a conversation but in reawlity it is nothing but a monologue....

I think it comes from being tied up or penned....

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 01:13 AM

Yup. Before I was distracted by my dog, I was going to suggest that you take your dog for a nice long walk. Wear the little guy out. Of course, my dog went over the back fence after we got back from a nice long walk.

Small story: These two goofy girls have dug holes around the back, they have chewed up a couple of shrubs, and every so often Cinnamon picks up my heavy-duty rubber doormat and drags it into the yard.

I'm looking out the back door at the dogs this afternoon, and they're over poking around in a smallish stump hole. I planted lantana around it but now it's just dried twigs. Poppy fusses around, and then I see her walk over to my doormat, where they left it in the yard, and set something down on it. Cinnamon paws at it a couple of times. I walk out and discover that Poppy had gently placed a live toad on my doormat. I released it under the side gate out of harms way.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 04:35 AM

Why do dogs lick their own bollocks ? because they can.

If it carries on barking shoot the feckin thing, end of.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 04:59 AM

From: Peace - PM Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:37 PM   Or Nyet if it's a Russian wolfhound.

Irish Wolfhound... shut yer gob ya hairy bugger!

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: GUEST,Gus
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:05 AM

There is one at the house behind me which barks non stop, the local council did nothing, just warned the owner who laughed at them, Well maybe time for a sausage !

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:17 AM

Worst thing with dogs like that is that by the time you skin and gut them, they don't really make a feed.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:47 AM

Yeah. I can eat three or four hot dogs when I am really hungry.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:56 AM

what if old tige hadn't barked that night Jim Reeves got off the bus after many years travelling in strange places....?

why didn't old tige bark a bit louder before Jim got on the aeroplane?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Azizi
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 07:38 AM

So weelittledrummer, is Jim Reeves a friend of Mark Trial?

And is "old tige" the name of Jim Reeve's dog? And if so why did the dog have a name that seems to be a shortened form of "tiger"?

I take it that an "aeroplane" is what we Unitedstaters call an "airplane". I'm pretty sure of that one.

But what is this about old tige not barking loudly when Jim got on the aeroplane?

I sense a story behind those words.

Could you {or someone else} clue me in, please.

Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Azizi
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 07:41 AM

Mark Trial=Mark Trail.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: number 6
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:42 AM

Irish Wolfhounds ... lovely dogs

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 10:54 AM

in "The Invisible Leash" the veterinarian who wrote it recommends a soda pop can with a couple of pennies in it and the opening taped over, as Susan said Animal Planet said. The vet goes a step further and says if they do not pay attention, it is lightweight enough you can throw it to hit the back of their hind legs and get their attention.

Personally, I think it is the breed. we have several neighbours on all sides who have them and they are the most irritating, consistent barkers-at-nothing I've ever run across. I am quite proud my McNab border collie refuses to even notice them. HE only barks when there is a real reason to!:->

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:00 AM

Houdini has been at it again this morning. I think I've figured it out--and need to run to the hardware store for a bunch of those heavy-guage fence wire clamps to add to what is already along the top rail, where she is pushing at the chain link and climbing out through the gap at the top. Damn, but this dog is smart! The other dog didn't even bark at her over there this morning, she's so accustomed to seeing her pal in the other yard. Sheesh!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:07 AM

SRS, maybe something Like This would help?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:16 AM

She is a 55-pound tank who would go through the net in nothing flat, but the concept is useful. What I need to do is spend several thousand dollars and put in a good concrete-footed wrought iron fence--it will add to the property value as well as keep in the pooches, but that investment is a long way away! (That is what is keeping her in the neighbor's yard, though, so I know it will work!)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:29 PM

You could put in an electronic fence which would keep her a respectful distance away from it after a few mild convulsions.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:43 PM

Just please don't use a shock collar. Dogs bark for lots of reasons. There might be a cat, person, etc, outside. They bark to get your attention. They bark becasuse you react. They bark because they can. Some breeds are much worse than others.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:55 PM

BEcause he wants you to know you ar ebeing visited by dark beings that only he can see.

Because he CAN and because it's there.

Because he has nothing else to do.

If you put the little sucker to work driving a home-generating system, he'd shut up pretty damn quick. Or give him somme cars to chase, or a girl dog to worry about.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:11 PM

Does you dog bite?

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: curmudgeon
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:17 PM

And all along I've been thinking that this was a n allegory about Shambles.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 04:03 PM

does you bite dog?

dog, you does bite!

you bite! does dog?

you does....? bite! dog!

dog...? does you bite?

woof! bloody woof!
(I think you're misuderstanding on purpose)

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Metchosin
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 04:25 PM

Some dogs just do. Our female is very and sometimes annoyingly vocal, while the male of the same breed is by contrast, rather quiet. Both have abandoned their balls for rocks in the yard and will spend hours playing with them, Maddy mauling them and barking hysterically and Duff, pushing them along with his nose in complete silence.

Both are difficult to comprehend sometimes, especially Maddy, who has now taken up speaking to me, something that sounds very much like Wookiee.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 03:51 AM

Are you sure it isn't a cat? I know how to get a cat to bark.

Subject: RE: BS: Why does the dog bark?
From: number 6
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 08:28 AM

Some dogs bark too much ... some people talk too much ... so to understand why some dogs bark too much, figure out the reason why some people talk too much??

sIx