BS: How do we improve on the poodle?

Subject: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:02 PM

Poodles have long been a favorite dog for Hollywood starlets and divas, and also for little old ladies who wear fake fur and way too much perfume. Poodles fulfill their role as the companions of ditzy females admirably, but is there still room for improvement in the basic poodle? That is the question. Can anyone suggest the next obvious move that should be taken?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:07 PM

Bullseye BBQ Sauce???

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:10 PM

For example...

How do we improve on this?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:12 PM

Instead of those foofy trims, how about giving them mohawks?
       (LittleMoHawks?)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:13 PM

Hmmm. Yes, that would be dramatic, wouldn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:16 PM

What is the dog, I saw one at the dog show I was watching on TV, that is shaved like a poodle but only in the back? Looks like the poor thing had no pants on... looked "improved" to me!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:16 PM

Ho----Lee------!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:19 PM

Cross-breed it with a dog.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:21 PM

Was that Porky Poodle?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:22 PM

Leave the damn things alone. Quit giving them those stupid haircuts. The poodle is a fine friendly dog, playful and smart. Great family dogs and easily trained. They love the water and are loads of fun. They're not a f__kin' fashion accessory.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:24 PM

Good post, Cluin. They are also a fearless dog, very loyal and able to fight with the best of 'em. I think people made a bad mistake 'miniaturizing' them and other breeds.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:24 PM

You're some kind of dangerous subversive, aren't you, Cluin? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:26 PM

Oh, don't get me started, LH.   ;)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:27 PM

You know what has four legs and one arm?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:27 PM

Yeah, he is!!! Now drop them trimmers!!! I gotta a gun!!!

Drop 'um 'er I'll shoot!!!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:28 PM

Now, this one really says it all...

The glory that is Poodle!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:28 PM

A pit bull.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:32 PM

You want colors? We got colors!

-----------!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:34 PM

I will have you know that the poodle WAS the best family/small game dog for years and years. The VERY best rabbit dog. Until the beagle overtook them in the mid-sixties. Unfortunately, some people do strange things with dogs... see above links. Whatever size poodle, they are great dogs, over all.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM

Renaissance Poodle

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: open mike
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM

put them on a skirt...
or put a skirt on them?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:47 PM

Gee, I posted to this thread and now it's gone. I said that we should return the poodle to the hunting dog it was bred to be, and as for those minatures and things, here's a hint.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 09:55 PM

SPLASH!!!

Oops - I stepped in a poodle.....

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: bobad
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:04 PM

Better hair stylists ?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bert
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:04 PM

It's easy, like this

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:29 PM

Definitely NOT like this.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: bobad
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:31 PM

How about this ?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:47 PM

MRRZY----The dog you saw was more that likely a Portugese Water Dog with a "Lion Clip." This one is a little hard to see since its black............But you can see it even so.

There are two clips for these dogs as well as two acceptable coats. The curly coat is usually just done in the "Retriever Clip" where onlt the tail is shorn(except for a tuft on the end). The wavy coat is more often groomed in the "Lion Clip."

Nice dogs though!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Scoville
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 10:53 PM

They were a respectable sporting dog at one point, the poor things. I like them best when they're just shaved all over. I, personally, would never own a dog that needed that much grooming, but I can think of other breeds I like much less.

I don't know many Standards, but the little ones are smart as whips and great dogs if you don't spoil them rotten.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bert
Date: 23 Feb 06 - 11:30 PM

LMAO. Bee-dubya-ell. that poor bloody moggy, no wonder it looks so pissed.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 12:57 AM

The poodle specimens usually seen around are poorspecimens of the original breed. They were--and still are, diven a chance---an excellent hunting breed. Even today, after all the years of
" modification" many of these dogs can match the greyhound for sheer pace.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:06 AM

Ok, ok...there was originally a reason for the clip....it was to protect the joints while hunting or ratting,but I agree, it has gone too far.

I don't agree that poodles are 'smart'....at least, I've never met a smart one. The damn 'tea cups' are the worst...nasty yapper biters they are. A standard 'can' be OK....

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: NH Dave
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:35 AM

Sorcha, how happy would you be if you'd been bred down to the point where you could live in a small waste basket?

As a couple of previous posters noted, they were a good sporting breed until folks started "improving" them. Same goes for the Cocker Spaniel. They've been "improved" to the point where most are neurotic fuzz balls, and those are the good ones.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 02:51 AM

What Peace said. Cross them with real dogs, along with chihuahau's and all those other nasty little doglets. They should be dipped in buckets of soapy water and used to clean cars with. Anything that can't chase rabbits or go for a proper walk isn't a real dog. So there!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Paul Burke
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 03:35 AM

You could improve any dog by breeding them without arseholes. Judging by some of the footpaths round here, another improvement would be to sterilize dogowners' parents at birth.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: open mike
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 04:06 AM

the poodle-like Bichon Frise
has curly hair like a poodle,
but it is better for people
with alergies --it does not shed.

I think it has fur instead of hair or something..
they are quite calm.

i knew someone once who had a standard poodle
that was so uptight that it was prescribed
barbituates so it would not be so nervous.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 04:21 AM

John Steinbeck's poodle,name of-Charlie,came from Bercy,France.Didn't seem to do Steinbeck any harm.On the contrary,Charlie was pretty good at making friends,wandering over to where other people were maybe camped,and intoducing himself, leaving Steinbeck to wander over a little later to "retrieve" his dog,and then find to his "surprise" that he would be invited to pass the evening with these people.Might just reread that book.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 04:43 AM

I thought this was going to be about George W Shrub's poodle, AKA Tony Blair!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 04:49 AM

He's been clipped down to size.
David

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:13 AM

How to improve a poodle:

1) Replace that ever-growing curly hair with a smooth coat.

2) Do not dock its tail.

3) Reduce the length of its legs by half.

The result would look a lot like this.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:22 AM

Nope, they'd look like this .
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:23 AM

St. Bernards are going the way of the poodle, too. They're being bred for show, and the head configuration is suffering. This is putting too much brain in too little skull, and the breed is suffering for it.

I'd like to see all the dog shows either closed down or the rules changed.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:39 AM

It's more than shows that damage breeds. Popularity through the media with the resulting puppy mills and backyard breeders is far more at fault. So many breeds have suffered in the past 25 years that the list is almost too long to seem real.

Most of the damage also occurs from the United States. Europe and Australia each do a better job at controlling what goes on than we do.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: MMario
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:47 AM

thirty five years ago my in-laws had "standard" pomaranians - about 12 lbs - they were a small dog, but not ridiculously so -

MAXIMUM weight for the breed according to the standard is now SEVEN lbs - which is so tiny as to be beyond ridiculous! They can easily break a leg jumping down from a lap.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improv on the poodle?
From: Severn
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 10:06 AM

My ex-wife told me of a friend of hers back when she lived in NYC whose duties included jerking off poodles for artificial insemination, because they've become too high strung to mate by themselves. I'm told that it's not the only "breed" (if one can still use the word) that has fallen on such limp times.


"What does your daddy do for a living?".....


As for beautiful dogs that have become too high strung to be bearable to be around, may I submit The Irish Setter?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Metchosin
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 10:56 AM

You will have a difficult time improving on a poodle. The poodle is a very fine dog, especially the standards and miniatures. Generally, as a breed, they are only surpassed in intelligence by the border collie. A good kennel clip will keep them from looking ridiculous.

If you want some improvement, work on owners who tend to treat them more as spoiled children, than the very smart dogs that they are. Same goes for a lot of small breeds, less so for the larger ones, as bad behavior in a large dog doesn't tend to be viewed as cute.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 11:26 AM

Hear, hear! As Metch and others have said, the poodle can be one of the smartest dogs around. I had one for almost 14 years that I still miss. My mother, who sidn't care for many dogs and never had an 'indoor' one, loved and admired this dog.

At one point I had a border collie - the easist to train that I ever had - who herded horses and cattle. My poodle watched then went to work. The two of them made a fine working pair.

The only serious disagreement we had was one night when I booted her out in the rain. She was old by then and could no longer go all night without having to be let out. So I always made sure that she relieved herself before I went to bed.

This night the weather was miserable- the ground was muddy and laced with coursing water and torrents more were coming down from the sky.

She resisted. I insisted. I caught her up and put her out. She disappeared.

A few minutes later my sister in law called from over the hill a good third of a mile away. Hey, she said, just now your dog scratched at the door and asked if she could come in. I told her, No! Go on home! Is she OK?

A few minutes after that my dog showed up at our door, penitent and peaceful. I had to wash the mud off her at the tub and dry her off before we could go to bed.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 11:33 AM

What Cluin, Gnu and Metchosin said--twice!

Our poodle, Woof, was a wonderful companion for all his 17 years. He was indeed smarter than the average bear, sweet-tempered until age got to him, and one of the best friends anyone could have had. He loved to travel, and was always up for a ride, even if it was just to the grocery store. Walks with him were a joy because he had so much fun on them.

We did not, however, "clip" him--just "clippered" him when he needed it. He would stand very patiently while Dad took the hair clippers to him, and loved to show off his new haircut when it was done.

We miss him a lot.

Lin

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 12:39 PM

There are people who like the companionship of a good dog, and there are people who like owning a status symbol bred to some stupid, arbitrary, and often detrimental precise standards. I guess some of you have already said the same thing in effect.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: open mike
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:23 PM

http://www.poodlehistory.org/PSHOW.HTM
here is a page with some poodle improvements
including a Labradoodle...
and Lagotto Romagnolo--an Italian Water dog
or Truffle Hound, or Romagna Water Dog
http://www.lagotto.net/lagrom2.htm
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/lagottoromagnolo.htm
http://www.canadogs.com/BreedLagotto.htm
http://lagottoromagnoloclubofgb.co.uk/
yes, improved, and handy if you like truffles, too!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:36 PM

Toss the whiney little neurotics in the micro-wave. And you can probably do the same with their wacked out owners.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: ard mhacha
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:41 PM

Ditto up the line McKenzie, I also thought this thread was about Tony Blair.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: MMario
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 01:46 PM

Guest - you obviously haven't known many STANDARD poodles - they could not be further from "whiney little neurotics". And many of the smaller ones are not either.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: open mike
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 02:15 PM

why did Tony Blair come up when i googled Poodle?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: gnu
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 02:47 PM

Severn asked, "As for beautiful dogs that have become too high strung to be bearable to be around, may I submit The Irish Setter?"

You can submit them crazy SOB's at least thrice!! Over the past thirty years, I have never seen an Irish Setter under four years old that had any calm at all. Unless you can afford to pay over a grand, ya had better think twice about getting one.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 03:50 PM

Two of the best dogs we ever owned were Irish Setters, mother and daughter. Beautiful, intelligent, and were (literally) the best of breed in the region. Yeah, they had their moments, like the mother going into a perfect point (remember, they were originally hunting dogs), two steps, point -- and dashed behind me to hide when a robin flushed from the hedge. She would also point (and eat) flies.

I'd go on, but I won't. They were great dogs, and the breed has suffered from the demands of the dog show.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: ranger1
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 06:44 PM

I dunno about how smart they are, I haven't met too many that seemed to be any too bright. But the Standards are great dogs, as long as they get treated like dogs and not topiary. I used to nanny for a family that had a huge standard named Jake. He didn't have a clue that he was a pure-bred (actually, I don't think he had a clue at all). He was well-behaved, calm and always game for a romp, not to mention good with the baby.

What I find funny is all the designer mutts out there, like labradoodles, pekapoos, cockapoos, etc. My dog is a mutt, I don't care what his parentage was. He's a great dog and still healthy and active at 15 years of age.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 06:48 PM

Dogs bred for decoration...ugh! That's like children bred for decoration...double ugh!

I've met both. Give me dogs and kids who are allowed to be dogs and kids.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: GUEST,ostara
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 07:25 PM

Well, what is anything worth if it does not give you emotional, intellectual, spiritual or energy??? If a poodle factors into this equation, so it be . I thought this was a music site. Am I interrupting something special? Where are you cats coming from??? I just want to get connected with some folks that can advise me on buying my first big bucks guitar.Someone told me that this site is a forum for that.

Any ideas other than poodles?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Joybell
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 07:51 PM

Here in Aus. the Guide Dog Association uses Labra-doodles for people who are allergic to dog hair. Poodles don't shed hair. At times Poodles have been used as guide dogs along with German Shepherds. It seems Labradors won out because they have just the right balance of common sense and trainability. (that's a silly-looking word but it's the one I want). Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 09:30 PM

Guest/Ostara, try the other door (north of here) Here we are just sitting around having a drink and jawing.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: GUEST,Ostara
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 10:23 PM

Thanks Ebbie. I thought that you were going to tell me that I have to find it within myself before I find it elsewhere! The other door. I'll go there now if I can find it. Thanks. I hope I get connected tonite, I'm looking at a big purchase tomorrow and I need all the information that I can get before signing off on this Martin D18. Have to keep something in the larder if you know what I mean!

Blessings!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Metchosin
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 11:25 PM

Regarding dog intelligence, this will give you something to sink your teeth into.

Or into which to sink your teeth.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Feb 06 - 11:35 PM

Well, I knew Afghans were the bimbos of the dog world, but I would've thought Jack Russells would have made the top 10.

Dr. Stanley Coren... that's that tubby fruit with the Aussie cowboy hat and the ascot. He's got a good show on TV though.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 12:16 AM

Those look like very happy dogs, Stilly.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 04:00 AM

psssst, Ostara, by 'the other door' I'm referring to the music section above the line. (This is the BS section.)

But do go up there- we'd love to talk with you about your D18!

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 08:24 AM

I don't understand why anyone would want one of those neurotic little yapping fuzzy blobs anyway. What good are they? I'd rather have a cat any day.
My daughter got a Pug. Small and useless...lookes like a door stop with Downes syndrome.

Now, given my druthers, I'd rather have my dog Seamus, a well regulated Labrador retriever. He knows more than some whole families.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 09:03 AM

cockapoodledoo -    smelly stuff.


cross a medium Poodle with a Borzoi for increased speed, sweet temperment and the gracefullness of a Cheetah.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 10:41 AM

I crossed a pit bull with a canary...

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 12:21 PM

Thanks, Little Hawk. They are an addition to the household after a burglary last year at this time. I decided I'd rather have dogs, as labor-intensive as they are, than a burglar alarm.

I didn't run out and buy a dog, but pondered it a while, and Karma came into it in May when Cinnamon limped up the driveway. I walked outside to look at her, called her, she licked my hand, I patted her head, and she made the decision to stay. I didn't do anything the rest of the day, just left her to curl up in the sun in the corner where you see her in that first photo. I was watching the Dog Whisperer just yesterday talk about how to not overwhelm a rescued stray or feral dog with attention because it just confuses them and reinforces their retiring behavior, so I guess I innately got that part right. About six in the evening, when I was finishing in the flower bed I'd been working on all day in the front yard, she wandered over and nudged my shoulder companionably, and we walked to the back yard together. She saw my cats through the window and wagged and woofed up to the glass and ended up staying. I gave her food and water, which are good news to a stray. When I put the photo and an ad in the paper I put up a section of and old gate across the one gap in the backyard fence so she'd be there if anyone claimed her. Milan says that a dog's past is past, they live in the present and pampering them because of a difficult past is silly. I see signs occasionally of Cinnamon's past in things she is shy about (she was hit by a car, she is at times shy near roads that make certain noises, like tires over a bridge) so we respond with a task. Both dogs sit beside the curb whenever anyone drives past us in the street, so this is the response now, not fear. It just works that way and is pretty amazing, actually.

She was so desperate to mix with other dogs that I could hardly control her on the leash if we met other dogs out walking. After Katrina the Humane Society did a half-price sale to move the local dogs to make room, so I took Cinnamon down the the shelter to meet the dog I'd selected. They were instantly chest-to-chest licking each other's faces after a flurry of typical dog-language moves (rolling over, etc.)

These dogs are dog-shaped and dog-sized, which I think helps them stay healthier during their lifetimes. Fewer ailments based upon inbreeding and ratcheting too tightly the look of the breed (narrow hips, head shape, coat color, etc.)

Standard poodles are at least a normal size for a dog, and the ones I've encountered over the years are very smart and friendly. But some of those haircuts--you have to scratch your head and wonder what people were thinking.

I might take them to the feed store with me today when I go buy their food, because there aren't animals there very often. I'd never take them to the pet store (PetsMart) because I can't control them well enough around other animals yet and there are people down there who are idiots and can't control their dogs at all.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 12:21 PM

And what'd you get?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 12:33 PM

In addition to their high level of intelligence, poodles definitely have the best sense of balance of all dog breeds. If you see a circus act featuring dogs dancing, riding horses, climbing ladders and such it'll probably be poodles doing it.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 01:00 PM

I don't know, Ebbie, but when the son of a bitch sings, I LISTEN.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 02:03 PM

Well they definitely climb ladders. Years ago when we were building our house, we were dog sitting my stepfather's poodle.

We'd left a very long ladder leaning against the siding on the high wall of the house while we went inside for lunch. We heard a very plaintive cry and discovered that Beau the poodle was not with us.

After searching the yard we found him on the of top of a 22' ladder. He'd mastered ladders but he wasn't certain how to turn around and climb down once he'd reached the top rung of a ladder propped against a vertical wall. Seems he used to follow my stepfather up and down ladders when he was doing roof repairs and must have thought all ladders lead to a roof with his owner and a good view.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 02:17 PM

What a rotten situation to be in! Poor dog.

We had a poodle at one time, and it was known for having rather poor judgement. While out in the parking area behind our highrise for 30 seconds, while my dad's back was turned, it mysteriously disappeared. A search eventually revealed that the poodle had trotted over to a 3 foot stone wall which edged the parking lot, and jumped over the wall without looking to see what was on the other side. Well, on the other side of the wall was a 20 foot drop to a sunken driveway which entered an underground parking area.

The poodle was crouched miserably on the driveway, with its two front legs broken. It had waited there silently for the ten minutes it took for us to find out where it was.

The poodle survived this experience, but spent about 3 months recovering with casts on both front legs.

It could have been worse, I suppose. It might have jumped over the wall on a 22nd floor penthouse or something. ("Hmmm...I wonder what's behind this little wall? Well, we'll just take a little loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook!!!") (SPLAT!)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 02:46 PM

Gee, you had to wait over 2 hours to deliver your punch line, Kendall. That's patience.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 03:56 PM

Glad it had an eventual good outcome, Little Hawk. Poodles aren't the only dogs that sometimes don't look before they leap. A few years back one of the Victoria City Police dogs here, took a flying leap over a low wall in a Parkade while in pursuit of a bad guy and plumetted three stories to the street below. Sadly, not so happy an ending.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 06:59 PM

Kendall, I'm not sure what such a cross might look like but I'd keep it. If you can figure out what to feed it, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 09:25 PM

Ebbie, I suspect Alaska has something like the blackflies I've known in northern Minnesota, upper Michigan, and Canada; do you really want something else around that flies and bites?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 10:28 PM

Most pit bulls DON'T bite. Most pit bulls are marvelous family dogs. Buster Brown's dog was a pit bull. (Google search).

More birds probably bite their owners than pit bulls do, so it's the canary that's the biter in that mix, not the dog! Pfftttt!

:-D

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 10:42 PM

SRS... awww... I have tears in my eyes after reading your post.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 12:30 AM

I'm guessing you're referring to the story and not the canary bite, right? ;-)

I did take them to the feed store. We went for a walk first so they'd be more relaxed for the trip, but it started raining on us before we got home. I had to towel dry them before getting in the pickup, so it was three rather soggy individuals who visited the store and we had the tell-tale aroma of wet dog about us.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 04:44 AM

But when a canary bites a kid, it doesn't rip his face off.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: John Hardly
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 05:07 AM

"It's more than shows that damage breeds. Popularity through the media with the resulting puppy mills and backyard breeders is far more at fault. So many breeds have suffered in the past 25 years that the list is almost too long to seem real."

Things do not bode well for the Alaskan Malamute (the breed that's owned me for the past 25 years). They are already one of the most beautiful breeds, but now they are going to suffer the popularity that follows a Disney movie (8 Below) and a "Best-of-Class" Westminister showing.

That one-two punch will have every puppy mill in the country working overtime to fulfill every child's five minute dream of dog ownership that will turn into every shelter'w nightmare.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: kendall
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:41 AM

I've known two pit bulls and a Rotweiller. All of them were and are very good dogs, none have ever attacked anyone.
On a list of biters, the German shepard is number one. In the pit bull, there is a latent desire to dominate, but it is not a problem if it realizes who the alpha male and female are in its pack. They are almost impervious to pain, so when they do bite they can do terrible damage. My grandson has a pit bull, its name? Bubba. And, yes the name fits.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 10:59 AM

My pit used to be afraid of cars at night (the lights terrified her, probably tied into the road accident--the vet guessed this is what happened because in addition to the leg and side injuries she had a row of broken teeth on top in front, where her face hit the street when she bounced. On top between the canines she has only gums because we had to remove all of those teeth). After doing our "sit" routine and gradually getting used to walking later, she's fine now. A woman out walking dogs in the evening in a quiet neighborhood is pretty safe, and when one of those dogs is a pit bull, even a sweet one that would lick you to death, I'm well protected. If someone actually did threaten me, these two would be more than a handful for anyone trying to approach.

The "zone" that I'm most cautious around ANY dog is the parking lot, when a dog is in its car waiting for the driver to return. Even the friendliest of dogs can be overtly protective in the car, something I remember my parents teaching us and I have found no reason to adjust that lesson as far as my kids are concerned. If a dog is in its car, no matter how cute, big or little poodle or anything else, leave it alone unless the owner is there and says its okay.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Scoville
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 02:45 PM

I used to be a vet tech and the breed that scared us more than any other was the American Cocker spaniel. They were biters almost without exception. Scottish terriers and dachshunds were close behind, and most Chihuahuas could not be trusted. Occasionally, we'd get vicious shih-tzu, which wasn't so bad except you can't wrestle with a long-backed dog (you can hurt them) and shih-tzus have no nose on which to put a muzzle.

Shar-peis, chows, and Akitas were probably the most dangerous but at least they were big enough to grab onto without fear of injuring them.

I finally came to the conclusion that the kinds of people who own really nasty pit bulls, Rottweilers, American bulldogs, dogos, etc. are the kinds of people who don't take their dogs to the vet, because we sure didn't see many of them. We had a Rottie patient that we had to sedate just a bit because he would go into "puppy mode"--he was 98 lbs. of solid muscle--and wouldn't stop wiggling and trying to lick everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 02:56 PM

I note that this noble and surprisingly successful thread has spawned a host of copycat threads...

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 05:02 PM

You should know, you've started several of them yourself, haven't you?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 05:12 PM

You wound me with that accusation, Stilly! ;-)

There were a whole bunch started yesterday by other people, as a matter of fact, not by me. Then I finally started one about stopping "noodling on Mudcat", in response to those. But it wasn't really a response to this thread...it was in response to a link Shambles posted on one of his threads.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:07 PM

Yeh, you stick to that story, son.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: number 6
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:23 PM

I thought this thread was to do with poodles ... now it is noodles?!?!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:24 PM

It's about a poodle named Noodles.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: number 6
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:31 PM

Oh .. ok.

Who would name their poodle noodles?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:32 PM

People with a very sick sense of humour.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: number 6
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:34 PM

No kidding.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 08:48 PM

Not these people

But maybe these ones.... they have definitely commited an alliterative moving violation though.

Twenty lashes with a wet poodle for them.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:17 PM

"Twenty lashes with a wet poodle for them."

Most folks have to pay for that . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:21 PM

Oh, they'll pay.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Peace
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:24 PM

You are on a roll tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:41 PM

Okay, then...here is the record of who started what copycat threads:

"strudel" - Daylia
"kaboodle" - Cluin
"doodle" - Purple Fox
"Canoodling" - JennieG
"-improve on the noodle" - Giok
"-improve on the doodle" - Guest, Art Masters

And I did not start any of them. I was not Guest, Art Masters, either.

Therefore, Stilly, I require a retraction of your scurrilous accusation that I started several of those copycat threads. If I do not receive said retraction within the next couple of days, I will engage in a protracted series of complaints such as those we are familiar with from Shambles, and I will go on and on and on and on about it for weeks and months until you just want to pull your hair out and scream!!!!

You have been warned. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 01:59 PM

I opened one of these "-oodle" threads the other day and you were the originator. Did you bribe Joe Offer to delete the thread?

(Sorry for not noticing your challenge, I was working for my employer this morning. Sometimes one has to so some work to earn that paycheck.)

Back to the salt mines. I'll look again later and see if I can find the thread I am sure I saw and make my case.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:01 PM

Aha! There is was right in front of me!

BS: How do we end noodling on Mudcat?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:02 PM

"it"

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:07 PM

Yes, I did start that one, and only that one...after a veritable flood of other "oodle" copycat threads started by other people, Stilly, but I did it for one purpose and one purpose only: to make fun of Shambles by paraphrasing stuff in a link he posted on bullying in one of his endless complaint threads. I swear. Therefore it does not qualify as a true "oodle" copycat thread in my opinion, and anyway, you said I started "several" of them. One is not several.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:12 PM

So sue me. I was generalizing, based upon the usual manifestation of your sense of humor. If one doesn't read the thread, but just notices the similarity, that is what counts in thread titles. (And while I opened it to see who started it, I didn't read it because I hadn't been reading Shambles jeremiad to have the proper context).

;-D

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:20 PM

Oh, indeed! I DO intend to sue you. But first I am going to go on and on and on about how unfair and insensitive you were to me, and suggest that perhaps Max should alter the rules of the forum in such a way that it can't happen again. All this could be avoided, however, if you were to issue a full apology or if the general membership of the forum were to indicate in some manner that they fully appreciate the gravity of the situation and that it is not in accordance with the sort of etiquette that would perhaps be considered appropriate in a gathering of peers who have ideals of mutual respect and equality on a forum such as this one in which membership is incumbent upon a certain measure of, shall we say, sensitivity, normal give and take. I think, hypothetically, that we can reach closure on this with a little fairness and meeting of minds, don't you? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:49 PM

So you and Shambles are in a pissing contest, eh? Will you be REAL men and do it like a woman, with no hands? How will you determine the winner? Whosever shoes fill up first?

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:54 PM

What????? LOL!

Now you're being sexist too. I can see this developing into a long and festering dispute that consumes a grand canyon-sized volume of bandwith and solves absolutely nothing. Oh boy.

You will hear from my attorney when he sobers up and becomes coherent.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:40 PM

You're outgunned on this one, Little Hawk-cum-Shambles. Can you honestly tell me that you read "jeremiad" and didn't run for your dictionary? I'll send certified letters to scare the bejezus out of you (do Canadian mail carriers get the little green cards signed off the back of the letter and mail them back?)

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:46 PM

I already had the bejezus scared out of me by my last couple of girlfriends, Stilly, and haven't seen it around since, so it's too late.

Yeah, I wondered about the word "Jeremiad". I guessed that it meant an immense, ponderous, overly wordy, dauntingly long body of topheavy prose. Am I correct?

And you mean registered letters, do you not? Yes, we have those, with the little green stickers and all. I sent my last love letter to Hillary Clinton by registered mail. Haven't heard back from her yet, though.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:48 PM

She never answers her own mail.


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:50 PM

Damn. So that's it.

Well, I am just going to have to take the bull by the horns and show up at her door in person, then.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 05:01 PM

Registsered is how we send cash. Are you going to mail me some in this settlement of yours? Certified simply means it is very very very important and I want to know that you actually received it.

Maybe find a smart poodle to carry letters back and forth and act as a go-between.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:04 PM

Leave the poor animals out of it, you two.

Consenting (apparent) adults only.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:25 PM

How do we improve on the poodle? Teach him to walk backwards and call him an "eldoop".

Okay. It's not much of an improvement, but it'd make for a nice conversation starter down at the dog park.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:28 PM

Any dog will walk backwards if you put a bag over its head.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:31 PM

Putting a bag over the poodle's head would make for a nice conversation starter down at the dog park as well.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:33 PM

What's really cool is, you attach a fake head to the dog's rear end first, THEN put the bag over its head. Then it looks like it's walking normally, except the legs don't look quite right.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 01:09 AM

My dogs would have that bag and that fake head off, torn up, and half-eaten by the time you stopped laughing so hard at the way that poor poodle looked.

I tell you, the stuff the dogs eat and poop out again--the inside of a goat's stomach indeed! Inside of a dog's gut is where some really wierd stuff passes through. Lately they've been eating the dacron fill from their bedding (after tearing up another dog bed--won't waste money on one of those again!) and have eaten various types of plastic, wood, seeds, and who knows what all.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Bert
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:41 AM

Ya know I'm surprised that nobody has yet suggested Nair.

Subject: RE: BS: How do we improve on the poodle?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:01 PM

Someone did suggest little mohawk haircuts. I thought that was inspired!