BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!

Subject: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 01:55 PM

This just in: An undisclosed source from the Pentagon has leaked secret documents indicating that the Bush administration has a contingency plan in place for what to do once the remaining Axis of Evil countries (Iran & North Korea...and maybe Syria and possibly Venezuela) have all been invaded and subjected to regime change and democratization, thus depriving the military-industrial complex of further opportunities to justify its existence.

This would clearly put a lot of people out of work, so it can't be allowed to happen.

With this in mind, the Bush administration intends to follow up the War on Terror with a new War on Suspicion.

The basis of the War on Suspicion will be the naming of a new Axis of countries that are Not-Dangerous-Yet-But-Might-Be-Someday-So-Let's-Get-Them-Now! The acronym for this will be the Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!

Countries that have been intially proposed for this Axis could include the following: Belgium, Malagasy Republic, Andorra, Finland, Pitcairn Island, Ireland, New Guinea, Togo, and Antarctica.

A series of military campaigns, with or without the help of an international coalition could be envisioned to take us through at least 5 more decades of conflict, and should help make Americans feel more secure in bed at night or while shopping at the mall.

Wait for it. The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN! Coming to you on all main media outlets any time soon!

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Wesley S
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 01:58 PM

I think we should add Monte Carlo and Aruba to the list. I'm willing to invade today.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:02 PM

Well said, Wesley. I think you are dead right on both counts.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:05 PM

I am in the process of patenting an improved, light-weight, manportable, liquidly applicable sunscreen for just such an eventuality, Wesley. I propose to make millions.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:14 PM

Smart move, Amos. Moderation in the cause of peace is no virtue. Extremism in the cause of suspicion is no vice!

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:25 PM

Sunscreen itself is very suspicious. Almost as much as people who use it. What are they REALLY doing, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:30 PM

That could be the next war...after the War on Suspicion wraps up.

The War on Sunscreen. Figure by about 2076.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Wesley S
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:30 PM

The sunscreen of evil. SOE.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: MOAB
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:03 PM

Sunscreens are loaded with those little carbon tube nanotechnology thingies. A generous application converts one's entire skin surface into something very much like a satellite dish antenna. Those who know in what direction to point their bodies are able to receive coded messages, download MP3s of the latest techno hits, and order pizza to be delivered while they soak up rays.

Next time you go to the beach and see ninety-seven people spread-eagled facing the sun and three pointed toward God-knows-what, be very suspicious of those three.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:05 PM

Damn straight.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:08 PM

Hi, Mom! Whatcha doin' over here on this thread?

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:16 PM

Motherly guidance!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Peace
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:35 PM

"Next time you go to the beach and see ninety-seven people spread-eagled facing the sun and three pointed toward God-knows-what, be very suspicious of those three."

Or that 97.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Wesley S
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:40 PM

We might need to add Canada to that list. I understand that in four years they plan to host a get together for a lot of the countries that are hostile to the USA. Of course they are calling it the 2010 Winter Olympic Games - but we know what they are really up to......

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:41 PM

well, when I had MY NDYBMBSSLGTN going, it included The Orange Free State, Yugoslavia, Schleswig-Holstein, Biafra and The Dutchy of Grand Fenwick.

I think I have done my part, and am due for retirement.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:43 PM

The Office of Promotions of Further Opportunities to Justify the Existence of the Military-Industrial Complex hereby is accepting applications for addition to the list of countries willing to be freed. Note that your application must include a complete business and infrstructure be-building plan proposal, along with a certified cheque. Only those countries selected for invasion will be contacted. Thank you for your interest.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:48 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Wonderful, gnu.

"willing to be freed"

That is a great phrase.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 06:10 PM

Best not forget to include the USA in that list.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 06:27 PM

I seem to remember a role playing game based on similar premises...

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 06:49 PM

I have it from a reliable source that at least two states within the United States have also made the list...

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Dead Horse
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 07:34 PM

Louisiana is ready to succede from the Union once more.
Hope they have better luck this time.
And bt the way, the Orange Free State is clearly aimed at destroying the fruit-based commerce of Florida and California, and should therefore be at the top of the list!

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 07:41 PM

We should certainly include Moldavia in this, as it is a well documented fact that they are planning to clone Billy Connelly.

The Big Yins of mass destruction........Be afraid, be very afraid!

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Dead Horse
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:45 AM

Mass destruction. This is aimed at catholics, right?

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:55 AM

And high-church Anglicans.

As for suspicious places, don't forget Iona, The Isles of The Blessed, Tir na n'Og, El Dorado, Never-Never Land, and the Seven Cities of Cibolla.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:06 AM

And as for those people who are eminently suspicious, I rank Prester John up at the tippy-top!

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:12 AM

Mass destruction aimed at Catholics was called The Cuban Missal Crisis.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:38 AM

The follow-on, of course will be the Axis of Unexpressed Resentment, which is much easier to say. And since the President already KNOWS how to say "Aur" (and practices a lot), it may come sooner than expected. This will include all sovereign states who (a) secretly feel resentful toward the United States for any reason (85% of the known nations on the planet) OR those nations such as Switzerland, the Bahamas, Lichtenstein and Sweden which the United States secretly, itself, resents (15% of the known nations on the planet).

This means we will have a lot of hard work ahead of us to win the war on unexpressed resentment; and if that is going to be the case, we should keep our War President; he specializes in interminable states of mortal combat.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 11:54 AM

Brilliant, Amos, just brilliant. They need you in the Oval Office.

Unexpressed resentment of the USA is indeed a burgeoning plague and it must be stamped out by any and all means possible.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 08:31 AM

The Universal Axis of Extremism is taking over US Ports!

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 08:54 AM

St.Pierre and Miquelon, two pieces of land that are part of France but are located in Canada. They rarely are even shown on maps of Canada. There's a reason for this, but I don't know what it is, so I'd be suspicious of them and France.

ALso, the "Gua's": Guatemala, Guam, Nicaragua and Guadalajara. If one of them rebels, I'm pretty sure her sister countries will follow.There's no reason to believe they will cause trouble, but why take chances?

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 09:16 AM

Ummmm...last time I was there, Guadalajara was a city -- not even a city-state.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Mar 06 - 09:21 AM

In the biz we call it simply PE since people already have a school association with PE and PEP rallies.


Pre Emptive Policy

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 03:57 AM

You had better put Summerisle on the list, those pagan whatnots are very subversive, they burn people for fecks sake.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 07:20 AM

Guadalajara is an outpost of the "Gua" countries. They're trying to sneak into other countries and slowly take over. Before long, there'll be "Gua" cities in every country. They've already snuck their name into two other countries, ParaGUAy and UruGUAy. They're taking over the world and we just sit there ignoring them. They are also mistreating prisoners and letting the U.S. take the blame (GUAntanamo Bay). They also snuck a hit song into the U.S. (GUAntanamera), which is in another language. Why isn't it in English? I bet if you played it backwards, there'd be all kinds of references to Satan and Communism and other subversive ideologies.

Beware the Gua's.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 07:25 AM

And don't buy GUAvas either. You're just supporting those people, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were full of harmful chemicals and mind-altering drugs to make is complacent.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 07:26 AM

Is GUAntanomo their doing?

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM

Undoubtedly. Pre-emptive action will have to be taken soon.

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 10:34 AM

They've even infiltrated our threads! Look at all this GUAno!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: autolycus
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 04:30 PM

I'm not too sure about my neighbours.

How would a pre-emptive atack on them go down, ESPECIALLY in the White House and 10,Downing Street? Weeeeeeeeight a minute, THAT'S A THOUGHT - NAH, THEY HAVE SECURITY AND EVERYTHING - FORGET ABOUT IT.

I'll deny it.
IVOR

Subject: RE: BS: The Axis of NDYBMBSSLGTN!!!!
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 02 Mar 06 - 05:33 PM

Remember the mouse that roared.