BS: Sexual Humorism

Subject: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 12:58 PM

I may not be a secular humanist...how can I tell?? But sexual humorism is something I can relate to. I mean, you have to have a bit of a sense of humor about it, right? The sounds and positions are kinda comical. Discuss amongst yerselves...

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Wesley S
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 01:12 PM

I dunno - there might be some intelligent design at work when it comes to sex. Otherwise why would so many of us yell out "OH GOD - OH GOD" right at the crucial moment.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 02:01 PM

That's the problem with being an atheist....it's hard to know who to call out to in moments of extreme passion!

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Wesley S
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 02:07 PM

That's why words like "darling" and "baby" were invented.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 02:08 PM

The choice of unintelligible moaning is always good. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Emma B
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 02:11 PM

From Richard Burton's translation of the Kama Sutra-

"The following are the men who generally obtain success with women=

Men well versed in the science of love
Men skilled in telling stories
Men acquainted with women from their childhood
Men who have secured their confidence
Men who send presents to them
Men who talk well
Men who do things that they like
Men who have not loved other women previously
Men who act as messengers
Men who know their weak points
Men who are desired by good women
Men who are united with their female friends
Men who are good looking
Men who have been brought up with women
The lovers of the daughters of their nurse
Men who have been lately married
Men who like picnics and pleasure parties
Men who are liberal
Men whose dress and manner of living are magnificant

Means of getting rid of a lover-

Describing the habits and vices of the lover as dis-agreeable and censurable, with the sneer of the lip and the stamp of the foot
Speaking on a subject with which he is not acquainted
Putting down his pride
Seeking the company of men who are superior to him in learning and wisdom
Cesuring men who are possessed of the same faults as her lover
Expressing dissatisfaction of the ways and means of enjoyment used by him
Refusing access to her "jaghana"
Showing a dislike for the wounds made by his nails and teeth
Keeping her limbs without movement at the time of congress
Desiring him to enjoy her when he is fatigued
Laughing at his attachment to her
Pretending to be sleepy
Mis construing his words
Laughing without any joke, or at any time of any joke made by him, laughing under some other pretence
Interupting him in the middle of his stories, and beginning to tell other stories herself
Reciting his faults and his vices, and declaring them to be incurable
And......after all.....finally dismissing him!

and I ain't even got to the diagrams yet :)

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: bobad
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 02:11 PM

You can always call out your partner's name.

Just be sure to get it right to avoid unnecessary complications.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 02:44 PM

Another reason why unintelligible moans are so reasonable!

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 04:04 PM

Waa..ooooooooohhhhhh...hunh? Moans? I'm given to unintelligibility all the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 04:27 PM

My partner always tells me when she has really enjoyed a love making session.......she even phoned me from Hong Kong once................

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 04:28 PM

"...was such a snob she called out her own name when she faked it..."

John

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 04:36 PM

"Sam, the ceiling needs painting"

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 05:51 PM

As Joan Rivers said whilst being interviewed on British prime time TV... " Child birth, don't talk to me about child birth.... I screamed and screamed....and that was only during conception"

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Mar 06 - 06:09 PM

I got a sweater the other day - a moaner or even a screamer would have been prefereable...

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 05:31 AM

But beware of 'jumpers'

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Wolfgang
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 05:51 AM

Without the sexual humours intercourse would hurt a lot and we might die out.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 05:54 AM

I'm sheepish, GS - disn't think of that....

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 06:13 AM

I was once asked to give a talk on 'sexual activity in married life' from a male perspective. When I arrived at the hall I was told that my time had to be limited as many other things were happening that day...I was told to make my talk as brief as possible.
I was introduced as the person who had come to talk to them about sex!
I rose from my seat at the appropriate time and coughed...and said..... "Ladies and Gentlemen...It gives me great pleasure...." Then I sat down again to roars of laughter.
I did give the talk of course!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Flash Company
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 11:25 AM

The other night my wife said 'I want you to make me moan!'
I said 'I don't think I'm going to decorate the kitchen after all.'

FC (Sleeping in the spare bed!)

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 01:31 PM

My wife, one night, told me she wanted to feel the earth move under her but I explained it would be difficult to find a JCB at that time of the night.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:04 PM

SRS, couldn't those be misinterpreted as "speaking in tongues?" :-)

Surprised no one has paraphrased the old folk song, "I'm a cumming!"

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:13 PM

That occurred to me, but I subscribed to the "brevity = wit" school of thought in my posts. That doesn't mean, however, that I don't appreciate the expansive skills of a cunning linguist when I encounter one.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Humorism
From: jeffp
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:53 PM

I'm a sexual humorist.

At least I'm a funny fucker.