BS: A Pox on Thieves!

Subject: BS: A Pox on...
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:33 PM

...thieves!

(I'm in the mood for thread-starting these days.)

Anyway, a pox on the *&%^$£f^cking c!*ts who stole my wallet this evening when I was enjoying a lovely sociable evening out with an old mate. I travel the f*cking world in some really dodgy places (picking up really dodgy diseases along the way) and wind up getting my purse nicked in bloody London. CURSE YOU!

Rant ends.

Please feel free to add your pox recipients here:

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:34 PM

I quite agree. I hope that they genitals drop off, along with all their skin, just as they enter the ocean for swimming.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:35 PM

Yeah, I hope their ears sunburn and peel at inappropriate moments.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:40 PM

Ya sure you didn't just lose it?

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:43 PM

Yeah, I'm sure. Paid for a drink (ha! empty wallet - see the moths fly!) then zipped up the bag. Bag was dangling down the side of the chair, then bag was open on floor with no wallet in it. At least they didn't get any cash, and I cancelled the cards, and yes, I probably should have handcuffed the damn bag to both wrists (kinky yet secure) but I was stuck pretty much in a corner and didn't see the pygmy-sized Artful Dodger sneak in and swipe it.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:48 PM

Ah Fibs, I'm sorry to hear about that, it's the big sinful city for you I'm afraid. Did they get yer Oyster, or shall you be forced to take a day off work ☺
Doesn't take them long to get yer new plastic out to you, just pray they don't get "lost" in the post.
A Tartan Pox on them too, to be going on with!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:54 PM

Yeah, my Oyster card with 9 sweet quid on it went an'all. B@st@rds.
I still like London though. Oh well, I managed six years in Bristol with only 2 burglaries (in the second one they nicked my flatmates CDs and left mine - what does that tell ya?) while lots of people I knew were mugged, so I suppose I was due a turn.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:55 PM

I agree. There is a curse on the jewelry stolen from my home in NYC. I wouldn't want it back if it turned up. Pity the fool wearing it.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: bobad
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:56 PM

I spit on the hammers of their fathers.

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Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:56 PM

In true B.A. from the A-Team, I pity the fool too Sins!
YEAH, bad cess to the lot of them.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Paul Burke
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:23 AM

May their chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight. Bad cess be upon them, and their ancestors, and their farm, and their cattle, and on their cousins over beyant in Amerikey, and on the ship that took them there.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:50 AM

May their earholes turn to arseholes, and shit run down their necks!

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:57 AM

May the holes in their arses heal up.

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 04:39 AM

Fibs, may his armpits be infested with fleas, may he be castrated by an unwashed itinerant pork butcher from Penge with a rusty blunt table knife and the wound be closed with an office stapler!! apart from that, Welcome to London!! (and if that is London, your welcome to it)

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 05:26 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
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Date: 21 Sep 06 - 05:30 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:40 AM

Time for your medication again Robin ☺

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
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Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:52 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: bobad
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:17 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:05 AM

Well if you will frequent such dives as Wapping, what do you expect?!

If it makes you feel any worse, I've lived here for 16 years and never had any trouble at all.. When I lived in sleepy Dorset I was robbed once, beaten up twice and followed home frequently by some really wierd people!

Mind you, I don't carry a handbag and I keep my phone & travel cards in my trouser pockets.

Hope it all sorts out soon.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:06 AM

Oh, and I got 'Meet the Pogues in concert'.... some pox that is!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:44 PM

May their genitals be licked by GOATS...

(& no I didnt get the quote, or the idea, from ANY KIND of website...*LOL*....I am told it was a 17th Century 'curse', being that goats have, apparently very rough tongues that will slowly strip the skin away...)

Perhaps a modern version of a 'pox on thieves' could be 'may their smack dealer have recently taken delivery of a batch heavily cut with laxatives'.

I been burgled 3 times in 3 1/2 years (the 2nd, & quite possibly 3rd time too, by toerags who I am justified in thinking were heroin users (above & beyond the approved statistics about the number of property thefts that are drug-related)).

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: number 6
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 04:17 PM

Bastards!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Old Guy
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:12 PM

I have often fantasized about walling off a part of large cities to be inhabited only by people convicted of thievery. They would be banished there for the term of their sentencing.

What a wonderful time they would have ripping each other off. They eventually might have to work in order to survive.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 03:53 AM

Didn't they try to do that with Australia?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Paul Burke
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 05:24 AM

"I have often fantasized about walling off a part of large cities to be inhabited only by people convicted of thievery. They would be banished there for the term of their sentencing."

That's called a jail. Or gaol. Sometimes it's not in a city, but on a moor.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:06 AM

We do have a city like that.....but its called Washington DC.

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:15 PM

"I have often fantasized about walling off a part of large cities...[snip]"

"Didn't they try to do that with Australia?"

And that Ladies and Gentlemen, completes the slide show on "Origin of Australian Politicans".

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 04:10 PM

Fibs, was it all that bad in Portaferry?

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Bernard
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 05:47 PM

Meet Trinti (who, it seems, are called 'Triniti'!) - apparently I will be the first to discover this sexy new band...!!

Oh, and the Pogues in Concert at the MEN Arena - only ten miles from my house, as it 'appens!

Unfortunately it is illegal to fill your wallet with razor blades so they slice their fingers off whilst 'dipping' you... inverse discrimination!!

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 07:30 PM

Ha! Portaferry is WORSE, especially for drunken lout related incidents. Although I reckon they find it harder to steal things there as they lack the requisite opposable thumbs*.

(*applies to thugs only, not the nice people of Portaferry, of which, fortunately, there are quite a few)

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 05:58 PM

In Hong Kong I had a dip try to grab my wallet. I was gripping it across the width not finger/thumb across the thickness so it was not going anywhere but it was a professional attempt. They tugged from the other direction so when I looked round I had to do a 270 deg turn and there were the toilets. I would bet it was a woman/girl so that I would follow into the gents if I was quick enough. Money/cards would have been removed and passed to an accomplice with the rest flushed away. As I looked around I saw a coach load of what looked like differently intelligent youngsters and I looked at the teacher who for all the world had observed and knew but had no wish to get involved.

I must have been concerned as I was paying for whatever hence the particular grip I adopted. I also had a dummy wallet with paper credit cards cut from magazines. No one found that!

Recently in Thailand I kept my money and passport in a body bag - not to bulky and only a bit emabarrssing when exchanging currency. It only added a bit on to my wasted size. But it felt more secure than a hotel room. But when at home we relax our guard.

I'm sorry to be sexist but we men have pockets and I for one would feel a dip messing around my genitals. But then some men leave wallets in jackets on chair backs or in back pockets bulging for all to see and get squeezed-out even just from sitting in pub chairs.

Now hands-up all those that loose keys in all those pockets (or handbags - ladies) and spend minutes in the rain looking for them? Only to find they are in the other trousers (handbag).

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 06:03 PM

I have a shoulder holster type zipped nylon pocket that I keep my valuables in when abroad.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: A Pox on Thieves!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 06:21 PM

I keep my change in my pockets ever since I had someone try to take all my paper money out of my purse whilst I ferreted in it for some change in Barcelona. The trick was to offer a flower to a lady and request one peseta in payment, refusing all offers from the gentleman to buy it. When you (the lady) get your purse out to pay, the 'vendor' would say, no, ONE peseta and then grab your paper money. Luckily I had my purse folded back in my hand and she didn't get anything but an earful of Spanish invective from our guide but it taught me a lesson.

I carry my purse and keys in a place that isn't usual for a female, and my 'handbag' is just for carrying crap.

LTS