Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!

Subject: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Flash Company
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 07:07 AM

Apparently a lady named Catherine Campbell in Queensland Oz decided to test her Bank's security system. When they issued her with a new Credit card she applied for an additional card in the name of Messiah, her ginger tomcat. It was issued without query with a substantial credit limit!
Must be a song here somewhere, although it escapes me at the moment.

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 08:59 AM

Cathy Campbell from Queensland had thoughts in her head,
About getting her tomcat some money.
And the bank didn't even think, her tom cats name,
'Messiah' was strange or just funny.

Cathys' credit card came through the post without fuss,
Along with the one for 'Messiah'
The interest rate was so favourable,
She thought t'would be three percent higher.

The limit on credit was extremely high,
And Cathy herself was high too.
But 'Messiah' didn't react much, at this good news,
All Messiah could say was Meeeuuuww.

Cathy ordered a CATalogue quick as she could,
To help her young tom cat to spend,
But she knew she should teach him to budget it well,
As CATastrophic debt, would be the end.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 09:04 AM

Isn't there a Country song about your cat getting run over by an American Express? ;@)
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: gnomad
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM

Three PAWcent higher?

I reckon the obvious card for a cat would be Diners Club.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: MMario
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 12:10 PM

?? an additional *ACCOUNT*? or an additional *CARD*?

They don't care *WHO* gets additional Cards as long as the REQUESTOR is the holder of the account.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jan 07 - 05:00 PM

Very nice ditty!

I would really begin to worry if our kitties received credit cards. They'd soon be racking up huge bills purchasing mice and birds from the internet websites.

About ten years ago I set up my "business" phone line in the name of my now deceased cat      (cheaper than a real business line) "Geraldine Katz." Every once in a while someone calls up to solicit her opinion and I usually answer with a ghostly meow!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Flash Company
Date: 06 Jan 07 - 10:27 AM

Silver-- we meet again, like that, also gnomad's three pawcent!
GtD, what a delicious thought, run over by American Express! Time was when I knew the feeling.
Thought of this just as I went to bed last night, ruined my sleep for a while so I need to get it off my chest. I think the original group were called something likr 'The Rooftop Singers', and also seem to remember Gus Cannon (of Jug-Band fame) was involved somewhere.

^^ I've got an old Tom-cat,
And when he goes out,
All the other cats in the neighbourhood,
They begin to shout.

CH
Here comes the Visa tom,
Struttin' right on down,
He's got a brand new credit card
And he's goin' to paint the town!

My ole cat Messiah,
Got a credit limit thats higher
Than me or you, it must be true
He's a financial high flier,

Ch

Visa tom's alright,
He's a bundle of dynamite,
He can buy any pussy in this doggone town
And he's howling every night

Ch

Visa tom's on a spree,
Yes, he's spendin' more than me
Then the Bank caught on to where the money had gone,
And cut off his facility (OUCH)

Ch

Tom don't go out no more,
Rarely ever goes through the door,
He just plays soft ball up and down the hall,
'Cos his hard ball don't work no more.

Last Chorus
No more the Visa-tom,
Chasing all them pussies round
He stays in the house quiet as a mouse,
Since the bank turned his damper down!

Brian Q (Flash Company)

As Bloodnok used to say 'By Jove, I needed that!

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Susan of DT
Date: 06 Jan 07 - 11:29 AM

The original to Flash Company's parody is in the DT as Tom Cat Blues.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jan 07 - 08:33 PM

Flash-

You're the cat's pajamas!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 01:19 AM

Well, my own sweet Bitsy McCloud was sent an "Experienced Driver" certificate from Colonial Penn back in the 1980s* -- and she couldn't even reach the pedals! §;-D

So I guess this song challenge is right up my alley!




*Apparently they got her name because I sent away for a cat food rebate or the like in her name.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM

More info to help with the "creative process":
---------------
http://www.wltx.com/FYI/story.aspx?storyid=45629
The Cat's Got Some Credit


Melbourne, Australia (Nine News Australia) - Messiah the cat is just like any other lounging pet: he doesn't work, doesn't have an income, and doesn't leave the house. He gets everything from his owner, Katherine Campbell.

Recently, she had a feeling her bank's security was a little slack, and wanted to test it out.

"You know, when you're trying to open up an account, they want your pay slips and they want this information, but to get an additional account you don't need any of that to be verified," Campbell says.

She had a credit card with Bank of Queensland, and applied for a second Visa in her cat Messiah's name. That's when she caught the bank having a catnap.

"They called me probably about a week later saying they needed a hundred points of ID for Messiah, and sent me back the application form with his credit card."

While the bank already had Katherine's details, to issue a second card--a card she's liable for all charges on--all they needed was the actual card number, and that could have been provided by anyone.

If fact, has Messiah been a scam artist--and not a feline--Katherine wouldn't have even known the card existed.

"I wasn't notified that a second card had been issued," she says. "Messiah could have put
a different address and the card would have been sent there and I wouldn't have known."

Scott Brower, a financial expert who spends all day getting people out of credit card debt and teaching them how to be financially savvy, says it's frightening.

"Well it totally shows a concern both from a fraud point of view and also for other people to access money...whether it's children, whether it's partners and other members of the family to be able to access money and the potentially
spend money without the primary card holder knowing about it."

The Bank of Queensland apologized for the mistake, and they're investigating how Messiah even got a Visa in the first place. His credit card has been canceled--and so too has Katherine's
-------

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Flash Company
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 07:25 AM

Genie... Nice to see the story from source, proves the DT didn't make it up.
Charley.... The cats pyjamas!!! Either you read Wodehouse or you are even older than me.

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 10:30 AM

My pussy has expensive tastes
Won't settle for cotton or chintz.
Must be silk and satin and cashmere soft
And furs of ermine and lynx.


The bank is thrilled and caters to
Pussy's every want and whim.
They issued him plastic and a credit line
Wonder who'll pay it? Not him!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: open mike
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 12:01 PM

the title brought to mind another transaction
i thought it might be a thread about buying a
cat with a card....a neighbor once purchased a
cat, and named her Putah, as that was the first
time he had to pay for one. Can you guess what
Putah means? (if you don't already know)hey, now,
that might be the first thing a tom cat would be
looking for...perhaps he would go to a cat house?

Subject: Song Challenge: The Cat's Got A Credit Card
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:17 PM

Cat's Got A Credit Card
Lyrics: Genie
Tune: Cat's In The Cradle (Harry Chapin)

A charge card arrived just the other day
With other junk mail in the usual way.
Said, "We'll help you out if you've got bills to pay!
Just sign the card and then charge away!"
And the dumbest thing of all was the way it came:
They'd put it in my kitty cat's name, folks,
The card was in Messiah's name!

So my cat got a credit card from Queensland Bank,
Little more than a silly junk mail prank.
Since the card came, folks, would you believe
It's brought me tons of grief? Oy!
It's brought me naught but grief.

My cat charged ten mice the other day
He bought catnip and balls and some birds for play.
"Where'd you get all this loot from?" I said "Oy, vey!
Did you see it on the telly and just charge away?"
And as he purred away with a Cheshire grin,
I thought, "Somethin's goin' on with him, yeah
Something funny goin' on with him."

Well, my cat's got a credit card from Queensland Banks.
Little did they know he's a twelve-pound Manx!
How'd you get that card, cat, and how'll you pay
For kitty treats and fillet, hey,
And a pillow for to sleep all day?

Well, without my knowledge just the other day
Messiah charged a man toy to chew away,
Bought an Audubon clock so he could hear the birds
And say, "They sing pretty well but they don't know the words,"
And he could practice all his stalking of his avian prey.
Now the bank is telling me I'm supposed to pay.

Since my cat got a credit card from Queensland Bank
My checking account's in the septic tank!
Bills are comin' due now and I don't see
Why they should be coming to me, cat,
It's nothing to do with me!

The bank finally called, took the cards away,
The cat's and mine, and I've got to say
It seems unfair to blame me for that.
Because you're the bank that issued a card to a cat!
You really should've done a more thorough background check
And you'd've known he was a fiscal wreck, folks,
His math skills are a total wreck!

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
They'd been taken in just like me.
My cat made a fool of me.

So my cat got a credit card from Queensland Bank
Little does he know he's got me to thank.
Now we're in the poor house, but he's OK.
They didn't take his catnip away, folks,
He's lying there purring away.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: oldhippie
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:37 PM

My kitty now has a charge card
He buys everything on a whim
Now he's bought a new Jaguar
My God, how the bills roll in

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:39 PM

But a jaguar is such a large cat,
He'll return it tomorrow I'm sure.
Unless the jaguar eats him,
Before he can show it the door.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: oldhippie
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 06:48 PM

Alas, but its not a live one
It's an X-Type, a lovely 4 door
Now he's got himself a chauffeur
And a road map clutched in his paw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 05:46 AM

But whether it's live or of metal,
No need to put that to the test.
It's still on the cards that its leaving,
It's going to be repossessed.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 06:23 AM

The banks just hand out credit cards,
To whom?, well they're not fussy
But in these hard commercial times
A cat must pay for pussy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: oldhippie
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 07:37 AM

Old Messiah no longer has credit
His card's been recalled by the bank
His cavorting all has been halted
And my credit rating has tanked

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 09:05 AM

The CATalogue now discarded,
The card returned to the bank.
The Jaguar back in the showroom,
And who do I have to thank?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Flash Company
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 10:24 AM

Oldhippie, Silver and one anon guest, You guys are something else!

Since the card has gone back to the bankers,
Ole Messiah is as sad as can be,
He sits in the corner a-wailin,
Oh bring back my pussy to me!

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jan 07 - 11:14 AM

Messiah has ordered a new credit card,
To buy fishing rod, line and a hat.
I think we all will just have to admit,
That it takes cat-guts to do that.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: oldhippie
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 07:43 AM

Flash, we're just having fun with the link, Genie has the real lyric ability with the Chapin rewrite.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Scrump
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 08:47 AM

As Bloodnok used to say 'By Jove, I needed that!

Sorry - Bloodnok said many things, but he didn't say that - it was Ken Dodd (after having a quick burst on his banjo).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 07:06 PM

Aw, shucks, oldhippie, I just probably take the song challenge more seriously (too seriously, no doubt!). ;-D

I love the down and dirty quickies (and have been known to indulge in them myself). Keep 'em coming. §;-D

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 07:11 PM

BTW, Flash and everyone, I haven't commented on your specific songs because I like to write my own parodies before I read other people's, so I won't copy their ideas (and if I end up writing some of the same puns or gags, I'll know it was just great minds thinking alike). ;-D

I have a couple more in mind. Once I post those, I'll indulge myself in enjoying all the other entries here.

Genie

PS,
I did glance at your "Rooftop Singers" parody, Flash, and what I saw was great! Very funny!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 05:14 AM

Our song has gone haywire I'll have you know,
It was of a cat whose assets were low.
But now the postings are of personal praise,
So will it exist for a couple more days?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Genie
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 06:24 PM

Hey, when our Gaelic Goddess used to run the Song Challenge!s, she handed out B.L.O.B.s (Best Lines O' Bull) and Cow Chips (Gold and Siver Plated, no less!) to all the contributors. :-D

That kind of stroking can coexist with our various and sundry strokes of poetic genius, dontcha think?

G

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: oldhippie
Date: 10 Jan 07 - 07:05 PM

There once was a kitty named Messiah
Whose credit line got higher and higher
But, alas, the bank
found out his prank
Now Messiah is down in the slammer.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 11:31 AM

There once was a cat called Messiah
Whose credit line got higher...a bit
But als the bank
Found out his prank
Now Messiah is in the .... (now what can I think of to fit in there...that rhymes?)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 11 Jan 07 - 06:39 PM

Perhaps I could borrow Messiah's credit line to get a card for my daughter - recently turned down for a $500 credit line because ---- she has no credit (you guessed!!!!!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Flash Company
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 11:02 AM

I've been away for a couple of days, and was surprised to find this still going.
Sorry I didn't comment on your effort Genie, got too busy laughing at the side show. Really like it! Your song, that is.
Hippie.. They all need writing. Genie would probably agree with me that you can fiddle around for hours trying to find the right rhyme.
You and Silver came up with three good ones in eleven minutes when you started your 'fun'.
I don't know if Liz the Squeak is looking, but didn't Les Barker do something about 'Barclay Card done gone'?

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Song Challenge:Credit card for a cat!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 11:50 AM

Must be a joke in there somewhere a miiaaaoooower and a Barker!