BS: Ambiguity and Silliness

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 09:37 PM

Oops, spelled it wrong..antihistamines and yer right, fools, it is the USA!

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: jimlad9
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 04:31 AM

The Irish Kamikazi pilot who got killed on his 20th mission.

We met some Irish people on holiday and I asked who do the Irish tell jokes about. The lad replied the Kerrymen, and went on to tell me that the Irish government had a scheme to build Mental Hospitals in Ireland. They built one near Dublin,one near Galway but then found it was cheaper to put a roof over Kerry.

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Scrump
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:49 AM

There's more, there's more:

- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

- I got stopped for speeding. I said: "Officer, I know I was going faster than 60 Miles Per Hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour".

- I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

- I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

- A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said: "You didn't borrow this." I said: "I will."

- When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

- Sponges grow in the ocean. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen?

- If a word in the dictionary were mis-spelled, how would we know?

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: autolycus
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 02:35 PM

More than a hint of Steven Wright.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Alec
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 02:41 PM

If men,as is claimed,think about sex every 12 seconds how long do we think about it for?

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:43 AM

Well spotted, Ivor. I was waiting to see if anyone identified him as the source.

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:53 AM

I thought I passed the source...

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 08:05 AM

Why thank you - much appreciated.

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 01:05 PM

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms,are they afraid someone will sneak in and
clan them?.

If a Turtle has no shell is it homeless or naked?.


If the Police arrest a mime artiste does he have the right to remain silent?.


What was the best thing before sliced bread?.

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:45 PM

"What was the best thing before sliced bread?. "

'A loaf, a jug, and thou'

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: autolycus
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 02:53 PM

Silence when you speak to me. Bloodnok in Goon Show.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Bainbo
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 03:48 PM

One in five people in the world is Chinese. And there's five people in our family. So it's either me, or my mum, or my dad, or my brother Colin, or my other brother Sun-Ji Tsang.





But I think it's Colin.

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 07:41 PM

Rochester NY has a TWELVE CORNERS.

If you actively support an illegal, bloody, amoral yet profitable WAR for a select few corporations, does that make you guilty of aiding and abetting murder?

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:49 PM

Every third person is subclinically neurotic.... Fortunately, there are only two of us. -- Michael Flanders

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: GUEST,Billy the Bunnie
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 11:35 AM

If you set out to fail, and succeed in doing so......

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: GUEST,Billy the Bunnie
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 11:37 AM

And, "Don't look at me in that tone of voice".

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Feb 07 - 09:15 PM

Military Intelligence.

Subject: RE: BS: Ambiguity and Silliness
From: autolycus
Date: 18 Feb 07 - 06:34 AM

I come from a family of 14 children and it was all because my mother was hard of hearing.
   
    I'll be glad to explain.


    long as I'm not busy.

    See,every night when it was time to retire,my father would say to my mother,

    "Do you want to go to sleep or what?"

    And she'd say,"What?"

    But my mother was a clever woman,'cos she found out that every 15th child born in America was an Indian. She figured the Indians didn't have Jewish children,so why should she have anIndian child.

       c within a circle Jackie Mason, c.(not in a circle) 1962.







       Ivor