BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 07:22 AM

No, that one is actually the second part of a pair. The first one is:

As I sat by the Duchess at tea
She asked, "Do you fart when you pee?"
I replied with some wit,
"Do you belch when you shit?"
And felt it was one up for me!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 05:59 AM

Well Spaw I hope you didn't write that one yourself as the rhyme is horrHENdous.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 05:02 AM

When I sat by the Duchess at tea
She asked if an eggplant I ever did see.
I replied, "Yes"---rather bored
And she said "Sir You've explored
Up a hen's ass much further than me."


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: jacqui.c
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 04:54 AM

GtD

I think that it might be somewhere the sun don't shine.......

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 04:43 AM

What's a Wazoo? (for us Not American Readers...)
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 04:30 AM

That's an egg plant, for our American readers ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:41 AM

An aubergine up the wazoo can be a serious problem. Just thought I'd mention that.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 02:08 PM

What did I ever do to you???











well, apart from the odd death and dire consequences threats occasionally... but really, what did I ever do to you?


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: GUEST,SINS at work
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 12:37 PM

Liz - you are on my radar.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 06:18 AM

Did I name names??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:53 AM

He he he he he.........

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:52 AM

I'm speechless... and that's a rare thing!

Spaw - if you wish to take revenge, I know a few people....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:28 AM

OK Lorcan next question.

Should we be glad or sad that this Al Cayola plot failed?

G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: InOBU
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 10:23 PM

A Fiendishly Clever Plan

Well, ... after the attempt on Dick Chenny, we thought that the Telliban\Albert Kayda where not very efficient ... until the fiendishly cleaver plan was hatched.

Knowing Catspaw was a major sourse of methaine gass, Al Kayda, delivered to our own Sinsull, an incendiary chicken bomb. Knowing that the well meaning Sinsull would send said chicken to Spaw, and the resulting explosion could level the American midwest ... well, as it happens, Benny Laddeen had not taken into account a sudden bean drought, thereby creating an unusual state of gasslessness in the home of Spaw... thereby saving the midwest, and likely the world!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 08:54 PM

Spaw-

Do you still attend these annual happenings?

I do hope you disarmed the "redneck hilljack" and then admonished him about his evident indifference to chicken viability.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 07:09 PM

Well, I just told this on another thread but somehow it fits here a lot more.......................

For many years, the Bob Evans Farms Sausage Company would have a field day open to the public on their actual farm down in Rio Grande, Ohio. One of the many events they had was a chicken flying contest. The chickens were in mail boxes 4 foot off the ground and you had to yell or poke at or generally aggravate the chicken until she left the box on her "flight" and they measured the distance. This actually went on for a number of years until the inevitable happened.

A big doofus of a redneck hilljack walked up to his "Chicken in the Mailbox" and from somewhere in his bibs produced a ball bat. With a mighty swing, well before anyone could do anything to stop it, Bubba slammed the back of the mailbox. Amidst a cacophony of "BBRRUUUUCCCKKK" sounds and a small cloud of feathers the chicken was launched into deep right.........and ended any further chicken flying both then and for all time in the future.

I would write this off as legend but embarassingly enough, I was there.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 06:46 PM

Remember WKRP and their Easter campaign? It featured tiny little chickens, all yellow and fuzzy, who danced periodically - when the hot plate they sat on was turned up to HIGH.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 11:08 AM

The "encore" that I observed looked rather nasty...

Good, though!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 08:46 AM

The last time I saw dancing chickens was on Farmer Bill's Chicken Farm And Entertainment Emporium, which was outside Big Neck, Illinois. They wore little top hats and could do a buck-and-wing like nobody you ever saw before.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John Hardly
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 08:34 AM

"The chicken would become more alert as the turntable it was sitting on began to slowly spin, and it would begin to scratch at the surface looking for corn kernels, which would occasionally drop from above. This was very entertaining to watch!"

...and the inspiration for the original LP record.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 08:19 AM

THREAD DRIFT ALERT!!!

Back in the dark ages, maybe as far back as the Pleistocene, "dancing chickens" were real live chickens featured at carnivals and novelty shops this wide world over. One went up to the display and if so inclined would drop a quarter into the appropriate slot. The chicken would become more alert as the turntable it was sitting on began to slowly spin, and it would begin to scratch at the surface looking for corn kernels, which would occasionally drop from above. This was very entertaining to watch!

The last place I recall seeing the dancing chicken "live" was in a small novelty store in New York City's Chinatown, on Mott Street I believe, back in the 1970's. When I was there last May, I found only a pigeon feather or two. Bruce "Utah" Phillips would often muse about the "dancing chicken" as one of his seven wonders of the world, or was that the "dancing grizzly bear"? Whatever! Now back to our normal programming.

Courtesy of Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 08:21 PM

Here I sit in terror waiting for the awful words "Product Recall". I will not take any of that crap back! Buy yourselves fire extinguishers and leave me alone.
Karen - I am so sorry. But I honestly believe that someone else (read: Paw, Cletus and/or the Reg Boys) is responsible.
Time for another installment in the series, Spaw?

SINS,

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John Hardly
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 07:05 PM

Why is it that after talking about the toilet seat thingy, even this sentence...

"some serious cash change hands............"

...makes me cringe at the thought of those hands.

You pay him!

No, YOU pay him!

No, YOU pay him!

etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 06:28 PM

Let's all do a big benefit concert, and see if we can raise enough. It could be a project at the next Getaway.

That reminds me. Did you hear about the guy who got his project cut off?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 06:25 PM

Yeah Becca.....I think you have it right. I mean, like, I'm available........for a price..........I wouldn't take on such a nasty sounding job around my ass for nothin'!!! Have to be some serious cash change hands............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Becca72
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 06:16 PM

Wouldn't that be 'Spaw himself???

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 06:14 PM

Well, I didn't say I was going to do it! To do it we need a person with absolutely no scruples or decency whatsoever...

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John Hardly
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 05:57 PM

"simple" and getting anywhere near "his toilet seat"? What are you...........NUTS?!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 03:23 PM

The way to kill Spaw is simple. Mount an ordinary cigarette lighter under his toilet seat, set up so that it lights up automatically by a pressure switch when he sits down.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 02:53 PM

Sceen: Darkened house camera pans down dimmly lit stairs and sleeping dogs when suddenly from every cornor of the house mobile musical toys begin advancing across the floor insearch of their target.....


tinker

Who found the perfect dancing duck Christmas tree and after serious debate sent it neither to Catspaw or SINSULL --but to Micca.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: ranger1
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM

Yes, but do the weimeraners survive? I hate movies where the dog(s) get killed!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:21 PM

What a movie!

The Sinsull Attempted Kill Spaw Massacre!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John Hardly
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 11:48 AM

"Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw"

With a thread title like that, I now know how every nominated but losing actor felt at the Oscars last night.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: GUEST,Noreen
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 11:03 AM

LOL... I tried to look at your link Spaw but the computer at work won't let me:

Access Denied by SmartFilter:
Forbidden, this page is categorized as: Tasteless/Gross.

I thought you would be proud!!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: harpmolly
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 01:05 AM

Charley...regarding the Rocky Mountain Oysters, have you seen "Funny Farm" with Chevy Chase? *lol* One of the best movies I will never again admit to having watched. *grin*

Whee! Lamb fries! ;)

M

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:21 AM

You mean that in some people exorcism wouldn't leave enough behind?

Humph. Sounds like I mean behind as in behind but not so; I mean behind as in behind.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 08:24 PM

For some people, to exorcise simply isn't enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 08:09 PM

That's very funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:14 PM

My doctor recommends that I exorcise more.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 04:44 PM

It's just the name Spaw that puts those odd images in your mind Ebbie. Exorcism is the only known cure!

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 04:41 PM

Halp! I am now reading the title alternately as 'Sincere' attempts, etc, 'Sexual' Attempts and 'Sensual' attempts. Is this thread a changeling?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 04:21 PM

I have an electric chicken that has a graudation hat on. It plays pomp and circumstance followed by the chicken dance polka and much hopping.

Thanks for the warning.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:12 PM

heh heh heh

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 12:58 PM

As long as the non-combatants are spared (spouse, kids, weimeraners, etc)...

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 12:56 PM

....................yet?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 12:17 PM

I keep seeing the title of this as 'Small Attempts to Kill Spaw'.

(Good to know that the attempts aren't serious. Yet.)

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 12:04 PM

Weapons of Pat's destruction?

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Charley Noble
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 11:52 AM

You're right, Sinsull. It's clearly more evidence of their faith-based initiative.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 10:47 AM

Oh please don't contact Homeland Security. I wouldn't last 24 hours in that nightmare of a detention center.

I'll bet the tiny nuns are behind this.

Subject: RE: BS: Sinsull Attempts To Kill Spaw
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 10:46 AM

That's the bloke.
Quack!
GtD.