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LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: jacqui.c Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:23 AM We're with you Michelle. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: LilyFestre Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:15 AM I spent an hour this morning lying awake in my bed, playing with my hair because I can. :) My hair isn't long enough for Locks of Love so what I'm going to do is have my hair stylist put about 10-15 little pony tails in my hair and clip them at the point closest to my head. I'm going to keep the pony tails so I can feel my own hair whenever I want...it's a comfort thing for me. My stylist will shave the rest off. I'm planning on doing this after the first chemo treatment. They say it starts to come out about 2 weeks after treatment (with the 2 drug combo that I will be getting)....so....it won't be long. ****************************************************************** Pete just walked in the door with the mail. Two packages from the American Cancer Society. They sent me 3 wigs and 3 hats that are really soft and vary in thickness. *big breath* This is harder than I thought. Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:18 PM Well, I'll just throw this into the mix... Fortunately, our Michelle is gonna survive this but... ...when my Judy, who died in 1996 of inflamatory breast cancer had to go thru chemo she lost her hair but... ...hey, that didn't stop her.... She did one of them glamour pic sessions (sans the hair) and I swear that she never looked better... And she was one of them Chez women with long very black hair before but she looked gorgeous!!! That's all I'm gonna say about hair, or lack there of... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:04 PM Folks, remember upthread (or in another of these proliferating threads), Michelle already SAID what she planned to do about haircuts. Guess what-- she'll figure it out! :~) ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:- From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 05 Feb 10 - 06:15 PM Michelle, I can almost sit on my hair, & had decided that if I needed chemo after my op. last year, I'd get it cut off above the usual 4 elastics so I could keep my very loooong pony tail! Then I'd spend another 10 years growing it back. sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: katlaughing Date: 05 Feb 10 - 05:03 PM If you cut it off in stages, have some fun and dye it some colour you've always wanted to try..bright red, purple, green, you name it..even do stripes! Some women find they actually feel free-er and more alive and that, as one website said, "I can LIVE with bald." (They were talking about how sad it is that some women don't get treatment because they don't want to lose their hair.) Melissa Etheridge is one of them. There are some good quotes in her narrative below her picture. On the left, there are other names to click on to see them in all their "glory." kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: SINSULL Date: 05 Feb 10 - 04:36 PM I bet Jacqui could figure this one out: http://cgi.ebay.com/Black-Knit-Chemo-Cancer-Hat-Headdress_W0QQitemZ180458691195QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item2a |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 04:30 PM Okay, this chapter is on it's way out... Time to start planning the spring veggie garden!!! B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Feb 10 - 03:09 PM LF, what hat sizes do you and Pete wear? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: SINSULL Date: 05 Feb 10 - 03:03 PM Damn! Jacqui and I saw an amazing hat at a yard sale. It had dredlocks attached. I wanted to buy it. She made me put it down. "Put it DOOOOWWWNNNN, Mary" she said. And I said "But maybe someone will have chemo and need it" "Put it DOOOWWWNNNNN, Mary" she said. And I did. Now look - it could have been your reggae night hat. Maybe next yard sale season - but hopefully you won't need it by then... |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: gnu Date: 05 Feb 10 - 02:14 PM Glad to hear you are in better spirits. Keep the faith. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Feb 10 - 02:00 PM This is JUST FOR LILYFESTRE, and only because I know her fairly well IRL. Michelle, here's a thought about a process I have used, have helped others use, and can heartily endorse. In brief, I call it "prevenient grieving." Prevenient GRACE is a concept Hardi can fill you in on, in classical theology. P-grieving as I have experienced it is related, and it's basically doing exactly what you are already doing, BUT with one key difference. I stumbled upon this by accident when I pre-mourned a breakup I knew was coming? (I KNEW it NEEDED to happen but I was afraid of the loneliness?) As I anticipated dumping this one guy, I just cried and cried. But when I actually got the courage to break up with him, I was able to do it "softly," really wished him the best, took responsibility for my own end of the problems, and felt FINE! So I started using it in peer counseling, and other folks had the same experience, when I combined it with another powerful peer-counseling technique of only looking at the upside of an issue. Looking SO FAR UP that tears and laughter MUST bust out. Loud, active weeping with a big ole grin on the face. With laughter punctuating the heaviness. And you can do this "hair-mourning" (adding prayer as Hardi suggests?) without a peer/partner!!! With your mirror! You can slick back the hair so it "disappears" and use your mirror to look at it while shouting the triumphant "triple exclamation points" that go with overcoming the cancer. "Hey, cancer, I'm throwing my HAIR at you, and it's powerful hair, so LOOK OUT, cuz yer GONE, baby, GONE GONE GONE!" Get the idea? By the time you lose some hair-- do this before the haircut if you can-- the sadness will be gone and the peace will remain. THE PEACE CAN REMAIN. Maxine (of cartoon fame) has one item I really like, too, and you can stealk it from her. Live every day as if Satan shakes when he hears your feet hit the floor. "Oh no! She's awake!" Well heck, "cancer" can go into any prayer that emotions "the enemy." I bet the BCP is full of them, and it's online, searchable. === You see, I don't think strngth equates to efforts to avoid, ignore, or deny ANY feelings that go with all this. I think you just need to put your best self in the driver's seat to meet them head-on. Instead of working hard against inner drives to make yourself feel better in short spells, you can claim peace as a permanent companion, both secularly and spiritually. (What if cancer is just a mere tool you can use to build that very nice life you and Pete are working on?) ~Susan cc: Hardi |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: VirginiaTam Date: 05 Feb 10 - 01:47 PM heya babe... I had self-induced alopecia (bald spots) in my mid 20's. So stressed I had picked up a habit of pulling out one hair at a time, twisting it around 2 fingers and cracking the twining with my thumb. It was an OCD thing. Did this for about a year. It was pretty long at the time and so at first I could hide spots by combing over to one side and putting in side braid. This worked until I started attacking the hairline at my temples. I got really creative about hiding the damage, using different hair styles and eye catching scrunchies, barrettes and combs. Distraction from the damage was key. I also wore hats. I had a couple of ball caps and a straw fedora. So I guess the same can be done with hair pieces. I ended up, cutting my hair boy short when the bald places had grown back to about 2 inches. After that I kept it short for the next 10 or 12 years. Which stopped me pulling it out. Nothing to get hold of. Would you consider cutting it very short now to help you get accustomed to having less hair? Another plus to doing this is that the less volume you have going into chemo, the less alarming seeing that fallen hair may be. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: jacqui.c Date: 05 Feb 10 - 01:43 PM Once you have the wig and some fetching little hats I think being hairless for a while won't be a problem. Rather than looking at the same old hair, day after day, you will have a selection of headgear to choose from for today's 'look'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: SINSULL Date: 05 Feb 10 - 01:24 PM I wish there were something to say to make you feel better about the hair loss. I have no experience with it. Many years ago I had the bright idea to permanent my waist length hair. I ended up with an enormous afro. A carful of young Hispanic men pulled up next to me on the street attempting to pick me up until they saw that I was too damn old. Next day I cut it all off - less than an inch long - and wore hats until it grew in. Most people assumed I had lost my hair to chemo but I had lost it to chemicals. LOL The hats looked great. I can't usually wear them but hairless they looked great. Play with turbans and scarves and baseball caps and whatever appeals. Have fun with it. It won't bring your hair back but will make the loss a little more bearable. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: LilyFestre Date: 05 Feb 10 - 01:13 PM :) Thanks Tam!!! I just got off the phone with the local American Cancer Society and they are going to send me some wigs to try and to take to a Look Good Feel Better program later this month. The woman who runs it is a beautician and she will be able to trim the wig to fit my face or whatever. They are also sending me some turbans for sleeping in (as many people get cold not being used to having no hair). I know it's stupid but this really bothers me. I KNOW it's a very VERY small price to pay in turn for wiping out any residual cancer cells. But I watched a video about the woman from Good Morning America who lost her hair during chemo for breast cancer and it just breaks my heart. I know it's superficial and my hair will grow back but it makes me so sad. :( On that same video, they talked about women who refused chemo in order to keep their hair. I think that's ridiculous....and I will do the chemo with my chin up as best I can...but right now, I feel almost like I'm in mourning. I wrapped up my hair last night to try and get an idea of what I will look like. It's NOT pretty. AT ALL. *sigh* I AM GOING TO BE HEALTHY....SCREW THE HAIR. *sniff* Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: VirginiaTam Date: 05 Feb 10 - 12:47 PM got nothin to offer here but a huge grin
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: SINSULL Date: 05 Feb 10 - 08:51 AM Amazing how you can actually be looking forward to or at least planning for chemo. It is good to see you happy, Lily. You have earned it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Catherine Jayne Date: 05 Feb 10 - 08:32 AM Great news Michelle. Glad the bubble of fear is starting to lift. Here's to full healing. (hugs) Khatt xxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 05 Feb 10 - 08:13 AM For years I've been a "hair factory"- chopped off 10 inches every other year or so (yeah, if I've got the ability, might as well!). Now, my DH LOVES it the longer it gets, so I'm on hold for now. But in another year or so, 10 inches will still leave me with long tressees, and the factory will start up again! Michelle, PM coming. I'm finishing up a sweater for Afghans for Afghans but it'll be done in another week or so and I'll fire up the needles! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Feb 10 - 10:28 PM Oops-- that was more productivity stuff than get well stuff. Michelle, we're looking forward to you being back on the de-clutter list so we don't do these list faux pax! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Feb 10 - 10:27 PM Good for you, Michelle! Moonglow donated a big chunk of hair to Locks of Love several years ago. Busy day, got some stuff done, but I've been very tired. I'm convinced it is allergies, a reaction to the mountain cedar (a native juniper). One of the things I did today was get to the Half Price Books near work and I found the (now belated gifts) books I was looking for. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: maeve Date: 04 Feb 10 - 09:04 PM And so the strong woman rejoices! maeve |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: LilyFestre Date: 04 Feb 10 - 09:01 PM Today I woke up and for the first time since early December, I felt secure, safe and happy. The bubble of fear that has been sitting inside me is gone....and I hope it's gone FOREVER. Today is also the first time since early December that I haven't cried. I am so very thankful for that! Susan, about the chair, in front of the chapel would be great!! And depending how my chemo goes, I may have to stay away to protect myself from any infection (as you know my immune system will be low). I do have an iPod and it would be great to be able to still listen to the service. And chemo caps? Yep...I'm going to need some!!!! I remain overwhelmed with the kindness of all of you. <3 Much love, Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: katlaughing Date: 04 Feb 10 - 03:25 PM That's an excellent suggestion, VTam. My daughter has done that several times. It's a good feeling. Glad to hear your news, Michelle. Congratulations for making it through all of this and for your positive attitude now. kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: VirginiaTam Date: 04 Feb 10 - 01:58 PM I AM GOING TO BE HEALTHY!!!!! Yes indeed!!! something to consider - turning one of the side effects of your treatment into a gift.... Locks of Love You and your Peter might do this and every time you look at each other or in the mirror remember the gift you have given to children. |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 04 Feb 10 - 01:49 PM Love, love, love- I'm loving what all these good folks are saying, and of course, I'm still pouring love your way, as well! I'm glad Cuilionn popped the question- I love to knit hats, so if you want one I'll send you an assortment of pattern ideas to choose from! Allison |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Cuilionn Date: 04 Feb 10 - 10:42 AM Courage and Bold Healing Blessings to you! If you're going the smooth, shiny head route, you have lots of decorative options. Susan's already suggested henna... A woman in our church acquired a fantastic assortment of headscarves while she was (successfully) fighting breast cancer, and she wore them with such aplomb that us hair-encumbered women felt secretly jealous! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: SINSULL Date: 04 Feb 10 - 09:11 AM How wonderful to hear a doctor refer to a cancer as "ho-hum". Some of it really is routine stuff. You are going to be fine, Lily. You must be so relieved. I know I am. Mary |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 04 Feb 10 - 09:10 AM Hey, where do you want your wing chair? Kids' seating or elsewhere? Believed it or not the sound is pretty OK even back where it now sits-- that's one reason it sits there-- but wherever you want it we can set a chair by it for Bonnie (or whoever you choose). We also have a parish wheelchair. Yes I know you do not need a wheelchair!!! But it has a really comfy seat and is smaller-- a better fit for an aisle placement. Do you know the Obourn twins (Jean Z and Joan L), who come almost every Saturday night? Their granddaughter/grandniece Heidi often comes with them-- athletic-looking blond preteen with a thick ole shock of hair and a WAY outgoing personality. One of her ministries is to sit with folks. She sat with Joanne N. while Lew was away recovering from HIS chemo... she's quite the snuggler and whisperer... BOLO for her. I am told that some chemo's knock down the immune system more than others-- Lew had to stay away for a LONG time to be sure he didn't get any nasties (he was pretty fragile in general). Do you have an MP3 player? It's very easy now to record that service-- let me know, OK? Are you and Pete looking into henna tattooing (temporaries) if you both go Kojak? (I bet you can henna each other.) ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: maeve Date: 04 Feb 10 - 08:01 AM Kendall threw Seneca at me too, Michelle. He is correct. We are all going to be the most tempered folks imaginable after our current challenges fade away into memory! m |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: kendall Date: 04 Feb 10 - 07:24 AM You are going to be ok. Remember, "Steel is tempered by fire, and mankind by adversity." (Seneca) |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:- From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 04 Feb 10 - 04:51 AM lots of good news & advice here. sending more hugs & good wishes sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:- From: Janie Date: 03 Feb 10 - 08:45 PM That is all very good news indeed, Michelle. I think you will likely find the reality of the port to be "small potatoes." |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: LilyFestre Date: 03 Feb 10 - 08:08 PM About the uterine cancer....that was very well contained and the surgeon called it a "ho-hum" cancer. The ovarian cancer was not only a surprise but had a nodule on it which caused concern. The surgeon said one cancer did not metastisize, I had two separate cancers. The port is going on my chest just below the collar bone. They said that I will not feel the port going in but I have to be somewhat awake as I have to move my head and neck (so they can put a catheter in a vein in my neck....creeps me out). Also, I might have to do the first chemo treatment without the port depending on the timeline. I know the port is a good thing but I still don't like the idea of it. Whatever. I AM GOING TO BE HEALTHY!!!!! Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:34 PM Oh and ask Ed about port care-- he went thru that at least once with Edith, maybe twice. But don't listen to him if he tells you it was the cancer that took her-- it was NOT; he's still learning how to deal with her loss/dementia and she'd been to the cancer doc just weeks before she passed-- was certified to be still in good remission. Isn't THAT a trip-- lymphoma is incurable, but she OUTLIVED IT in EVERY WAYS. (And no, worrywarts, I am not breaking confidentiality-- everyone knows ALL of Ed's business and besides, I'm careful with that stuff.) Ed would also want (and so would Edith) for me to tell you that she made her best, lifelong friends and fellow-survivors in chemo. That is likely to be your VERY BEST support group, so please be sure to lead the give and take when you go, do not forget to take as much as you give, and carry a pile of cards with contact info so it's easy to stay in touch. And your shawl(s). Chemo can be COLD. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Leadfingers Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:29 PM GOOD OH !!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Bobert Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:25 PM Well, Stage 1 is ceratinly the best news that we could have gotten... As to the hair??? Two things... First, it will grow back and second, bald women are sexy... The port thing??? Just details... Beats having to get stuck, stuck and restuck... Especially when the viens aren't cooperatin'... A little out patient procedure and then yer good to go... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:25 PM HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF. Love, love, love. (watch your mailbox...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: SINSULL Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:19 PM WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Finally,some good news. Well done! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: jacqui.c Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:15 PM Great news Michelle. I am so glad for you. Dr Jacqui says take it VERY easy for now - you will need to build up your energy for the chemo treatment. What a wonderful husband you have - you can have a race growing your hair back! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:15 PM Hey, what did they say about the uterine cancer? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:12 PM GOOD JOB MICHELLE! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Stilly River Sage Date: 03 Feb 10 - 07:10 PM Michelle, that is good news! And though the port sounds like a clunky process, it actually makes the chemo a lot easier. My boss's wife had a port. Did they tell you where they would place it? SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: gnu Date: 03 Feb 10 - 06:32 PM GOOD OH! Keep the faith! |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: maeve Date: 03 Feb 10 - 06:30 PM Wonderful, Michelle! Now you can focus on health and joy...plenty of both waiting for you. maeve |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: LilyFestre Date: 03 Feb 10 - 06:16 PM We are home (got here about 30 minutes ago). Well, here's the news: I have to have 3 to 6 rounds of chemotherapy. I have to have a port (outpatient surgery required). I will definitely lose my hair. Ok. But the BIG news is that the ovarian cancer was in Stage 1 which means my prognosis is EXCELLENT. That's what the Dr. said. So. I'll be having a consultation with the chemo Dr. soon. The actual chemo will start in 3 to 4 weeks depending on how my incision is healing. I do have an infection in my incision but he said it was superficial and wasn't worried about it...said things looked good. It's the absolute best that I could have hoped for (ok...could do without having to have a port and losing my hair) and I am feeling peaceful about it. Thank you for the many, many prayers and good thoughts...I don't know how to tell you how it helps, but it does...so thank you. Also, my handsome husband with the long, dark ponytail said he will shave his head when I shave mine. A friend from high school has a local salon and she and I have had this conversation already....I'm getting mine taken off before it gets scraggly. It's not going to be pretty but it means I get to live my life free of cancer and that's worth the world to me. My job is to continue to take it easy and heal. I'm off to my recliner. Love to all of you, Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Janie Date: 03 Feb 10 - 06:14 PM also still here.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: wysiwyg Date: 03 Feb 10 - 04:46 PM Not telling tales (since she posted from the surg trip about where she had gone), but here's some "local" travel-time guidance for you waiting Catters. Assuming her appt ran on time, and that they zoomed there, and zoomed right back, it's still a tad early to BOLO Michelle. Just please, hold those strong thoughts, and post them here for her return. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-) From: Bobert Date: 03 Feb 10 - 04:19 PM Well, I been on a roll with the Big Guy of late so I asked Him to bring you a basket full of peace... But until He delivers, warm thoughts and prayers from yer hillbilly gardening buddy... (((hugs))) Bobert |
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