Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: PHJim
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 06:50 PM

We three kings of Orient are
Trying to smoke a rubber cigar.
It was loaded and exploded
Sent us to yonder star.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Jessica
Date: 03 Jan 13 - 02:50 PM

This is what my teacher told me on April fools day.

Jingle bells, shotgun shells, granny had a gun, shot me in the underpants and boy I had to run


I don't know why she did cause it wasn't even Xmas!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jan 12 - 06:24 AM

This is the version we sang at school (circa 1985)
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away and the joker lost his motor on the motorway, hey.

This is a version my brother told me of We three kings (circa 1990's)
We three kings of orient are, one in a taxi, one in a car. One on a scooter,smoking a zooter and wearing a wonderbra!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Something Smells (Jingle Bells)
From: mayomick
Date: 06 Dec 11 - 06:37 AM

I heard two kids on the bus singing yesterday:
Santa Claus , Santa Claus , how much do you weigh?
I'm glad I'm not the reindeer that has to pull your sleigh

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Something Smells (Jingle Bells)
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 06 Dec 11 - 02:41 AM

Jingle Bells, Batman smells from fifteen miles away,
He blows his nose on Cheerios, and eats them everyday.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Something Smells (Jingle Bells)
From: GUEST,destinee
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 08:31 PM

jingle bells batmans smell who are you to say he shot a tree and made it pe and now he has to pay

Subject: dashing through the trees
From: GUEST,me 00 11 22 33 44 55 66 77 88 99 1010
Date: 09 Dec 10 - 05:03 AM

dashing through the trees with an pair of brocken skis i kinda think i am dead i woke up in the hospital with stitches on mt head hay .....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:26 PM

TIna:

Start your own thread.


A

Subject: Jingle Bells,dashing through the snow on ...
From: GUEST,GUEST
Date: 11 Feb 10 - 11:08 AM

Dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
oh that feels we know
crashing into trees
OW! OW! OW!
the snow is turning red
or i think i'm almost dead
Oh no! I'm in the hospital
with cigarettes in bed!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 09 - 06:23 PM

i learned it as

we three kings of orient are
we go pee on rubber cigars
they were loaded
they exploded
now we are traveling far

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 08:46 PM

While Shepherds washed there Socks by night
They ordered Fish and Chips.
The Angel of the Lord came down...
And charged them one and six.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Dave Hunt
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 06:53 PM

Ah - must be getting near Christmas again!!

We three Beatles of Liverpool are
John in a taxi, George in a car
Paul on a scooter blowing his hooter
Following Ringo Starr
____________________

Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robins gone away
Catwoman lost her knickers on the M6 motorway

_________________

We three kings of Orient are, trying to smoke this Hamlet cigar
It was loaded... it exploded.... BANG

We two kings of orient etc....BANG

I'm a king from Orient far, trying to smoke etc....
BANG........................... SILENT NIGHT

___________________

Our condoms are the very best , the very best that's made
They come in several sizes both of leather and of suede
They don't give much protection 'cause our staff are underpaid
But we guarantee both comfort and joy, comfort and joy
Yes we guaranteed both comfort and joy

________________________

Comfort and Joy to you all!
Dave

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells,
From: GUEST,me
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 06:28 PM

Dashing through the snow on a par of broken skis over the hills we go crashing into trees " ouch ouch ouch" the snow's turning red i think im almost dead all i want for christmas is to be in a hospital in bed!ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Tipsy Turvy
Date: 21 Dec 08 - 04:50 AM

I remember this one from primary school:

Joy to the World,
John Howards dead,
We barbecued his head.
He didn't pay his taxes,
We chopped him up with axes,
Joy to the World John Howards dead.

I went to his coffin,
I went to his grave.
Everyone threw flowers,
I threw a grenade.
The coffin went up,
the coffin came down,
the coffin went splat all over the ground
Joy to the World John Howards dead.

I looked in his coffin,
He wasn't quite dead.
So I pulled out a bazooka and blew off his head
Joy to the World John Howards dead.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Jonny Sunshine
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 12:36 PM

I never knew there were so many versions. This is what we used to sing in Reading in around 1977

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
father Christmas lost his whiskers
on the M4 motorway


Don't you just love the oral tradition? ;-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 04:33 PM

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel
and Joker got away, hey.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Jessica C.
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:24 PM

sorry I kinda messed up the first one

Dashing though the snow
in a pair of broken skis
over the hills we go crashing
into trees my face
is getting red I
think I'm almost dead
somebody call the ambulence
befor I lose my head Oh!
Jingle presents
Beat the pheasants
reindeer taste like spam
kick an elf and enjoy
yourself and have a cup of cheer!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Jessica C.
Date: 13 Dec 08 - 01:15 PM

try to finish the blanks

Dashing though the snow
in a pair of broken skis
over the hills we go crashing
into trees my face
is getting red I
think I'm almost dead
somebody call the ambulence
befor I lose my head Oh!
_ _ _ _ reindeer taste like spam
kick an elephant and enjoy
yourself and have a cup of cheer!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Guest Cath
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 06:36 PM

From my schooldays, coming on 50 years ago:

Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin flew away,
Batmobile's got no wheels
And that's what we all say, hey,

Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin broke his wing,
Batmobile's got no wheels,
And that's what we all sing.

Subject: RE;Dashing in the snow
From: GUEST,person123
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 04:27 PM

dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
over the hills we go
crashing into trees
the snow is turnng red
i think im gonna be dead
i woke up in the hospital
with chickens on my head
ohh jingle bells
shotgun shells
batman laid a gun
he shot his butt in pizza hut
in 1941 hey

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Boobs(:
Date: 07 Dec 08 - 04:18 PM

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That's when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military…

[it's not funny!]

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead
or I'll kill you…

I KILL YOUOUOU!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Dec 08 - 06:16 AM

Pete (Banjoman) You are one sick individual.

I like it!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: banjoman
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 11:09 AM

Hark the herald angels sing
Beechams pills are just the thing
They are gentle they are mild
Two for a man and one for a child
If you want to go to heaven
You should take a dose of seven
If you want to go to hell
Eat the ruddy box as well

One of many lost in the mists of time
Pete

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Hong Kong in the early 80s (from British fri
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 09:59 AM

Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin laid an egg
Wonder woman lost her bosom
On her way to bed
Hey

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: trevek
Date: 01 Dec 08 - 07:54 AM

Jingle Bells. Batman Smells.
Robin's flown away.
The batmobile lost a wheel
and The Joker said "Hooray!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Barbara
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 11:50 PM

I'm sure I've posted this before, but it's a classic. I learned it from my 10 yr old (she's now 22).

Joy to the world that Santa's dead.
We barbecued his head.
And what about the body?
We flushed it down the potty,
And round and round it goes,
Round and round it goes,
Rou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ound
it goes.

Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Something Smells (Jingle Bells)
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 10:52 PM

jingle bells batman smells
robin flew away
he did a fart behind a cart
and blew up the ira

Subject: eveyones lyrics are wrong
From: GUEST,therightperson
Date: 30 Nov 08 - 06:55 PM

it's
Dashing through the snow on a pair of broken skis, over the hills we go crashing into trees (hahaha), snow is turning red Santa's almost dead, Rudolph took a 2 by 4 and smashed him in the head

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,jason
Date: 17 Mar 08 - 05:08 PM

jingle bells school smells mr.robin laid an egg dressed in teal fucked ms.veal then ran away oh. lol

jason 11

Subject: dashing through the snow
From: GUEST,crissi
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 08:17 PM

Dashing through the snow on a pair of broken skis, Ore the clifs we go...smashing into tree. (Ow, Ow, Ow) The snow is turning red, I think I'm almost dead, I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head.
Oh jingle bells it hurt like hell when I hit that tree, if I'm not back in a half-hour call 911 for me!
A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a ride, on my snowmobile with stitches stI'll in my side. (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh) I hit a patch of ice, it wasn't very nice, you'd think I learned the first time but again I pay the price.
Oh jingle bells it hurt like hell when I hit that tree, if I'm not back in a half-hour call 911 for me!
I've learned very well, that when the weater's bad, I won't go out on anymore adventures like I had. When winter comes again, I don't think I will roam, I almost got killed twice this year so I think I'll stay home.
Oh jingle bells it hurt like hell when I hit that tree, if I'm not back in a half-hour call 911 for me!

i love this song it is so funny i heard it from my friend today

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: melyssa
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 10:28 AM

I haven't thought of Alan Sherman since I was in elementary school. I used to listen to the album My Son the Folk Singer all the time at my grandmothers house. Sir Greenbaums Madrigal was my favorite.

Back to the topic...here is a version of that we used to sing in Minnesota.

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid and egg
Joker turned around the corner
......

Can't seem to remember the last part of it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,ROD
Date: 16 Dec 07 - 02:51 AM

Jingle bells batman smells 50 miles away
he blows his nose with cherreeos
and eats em everyday

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,dorette2007
Date: 15 Dec 07 - 05:11 PM

We three kings of orient are
trying to smoke a rotten cigar
2 on a tricycle
3 on a bicycle
one in a donkey cart
oh! bread and butter
chicken and pear
this is all that we can spare
Tom ran in a took a bite
a swear that he could win the fight

(I learn this chorus when I was a small child growing up)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 08:35 AM

jingle bells
santa smells
he's been drunk all day
hey!

i dont know the rest...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,cookster
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 06:08 PM

Skiing down a slope in a pair of broken skis over hills we go
running into trees. I think I'm almost dead I got knocked in the
head,and now I'm in the hospital,and the sheets are turning red.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 04:24 PM

Jingle Bells Batman smells Robin layed an egg Mr.Freez had took the cheese and I don't know the rest hey

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Guest Ross
Date: 14 Dec 06 - 07:59 AM

Similar to the New Zealand, Australian version, around 1979...

Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Wonder Woman lost her nickers,
Flying TAA - Hey!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 02:40 PM

Jingle bells Batman smells
Robin's ran away,
He blows his nose on Cheerios,
And eats them every day.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Van
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 10:00 AM

Jingle bells batman smells
Robin's ran away
The batmobile has lost its wheels
And landed in the hay

Scottish mid 60s

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Lancashire Lad
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 03:38 AM

This thread ties in nicely with a playground "chant" my friends 7 year old son just ressurected.
This is a "taunt' to girls in the playground and accompanied by animated pointing to various anatomical areas.

Milk, milk, lemonade.
Round the corner, chocolates made.

The simple things in life eh!

Cheers
LL

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Uke
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 08:37 PM

New Zealand, around 1979...

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin ran away
Wonder Woman lost her bosom
On the motorway - Hey!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Azizi
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 10:00 PM

Okay folks, it's been almost 4 years. Surely we're adult enough to let the naughty child in us have some innocent {??!!} fun.

Here's a version of the jingle bells rhyme that GUEST,Rob may have been referring to in his 14 Dec 01 post:

Dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
over the hills we go
crashing into trees
{bam bam bam}
the snow is turning red
I think I might be dead
Oh no! I'm in the hospital
with needles in my head

Jingle bells jingle bells
Santa {Claus} is dead
because Rudolph took a 22
and shot him in the head
Oh, Barbie girl barbie girl
tried to save his life.
But Ken from Mexico
stabbed her with a knife.

{thanks to Alexandra, age 13 years}

Does anybody else remember another versions of this or other children's parodies?

Subject: RE: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Dec 02 - 01:03 PM

Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost a wheel
the Joker got away
(or "so they used it as a sleigh")

Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
He dropped a fart behind a cart
While reading Hemingway (???)

Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Lost his pants in the south of France
and found them in Bombay

Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Wonder Woman lost her bosom...


Waitaminnut! That's a shitty one. You can't force that one.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Leeder
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:43 PM

Getting back to Batman, my son contributed a verse:

Batman's in the kitchen,
Robin's in the hall,
The Joker's in the bathroon,
Peeing on the wall.

He's 19 now, but this is what he remembers from his misspent youth.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,Bud
Date: 16 Dec 01 - 07:57 AM

The book "Miss Mary Mack" is a collection of such children's ditties, many of which are naughty. The author/collector had to convince the children that she wouldn't tell on them.

Amazing that I heard most of them when I was in school.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,DrWord
Date: 16 Dec 01 - 05:43 AM

Thanks, Swan, for the reference to the Opies' work.
The title [correction] if folk are looking for it, isThe lore and language of schoolchildren

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Roughyed
Date: 16 Dec 01 - 05:32 AM

Just found this so I thought I'd experiment with blue clickies The Lore and Language of Schoolchildren

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: Roughyed
Date: 16 Dec 01 - 05:21 AM

There is a book published some time ago called (I think) tThe language and Lore of Schoolchidlren by Peter and Iona Opie which goes into these songs in lots of fascinating detail. Some of them are hundreds of years old and have been passed down through generations of children. Well worth searching out.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: breezy
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 02:00 PM

can you help geoff out?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
From: GUEST,ermintrudeclaire
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 12:37 PM

jingle bells, jingle bells i'm a morris man i jingle in the morning and i jingle whenever i can i've got bells on me hat and a tankard i drink beer without the fizz and all i want from santa is a beard much bigger than his.