Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mr Red Date: 24 Sep 02 - 02:28 PM Mike the Knife a good healthy heap of curry and you would have bean (sic) right. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 24 Sep 02 - 12:07 AM Mike, your story reminds me of a mistake I made when I was in Italy (more than a few years ago). It's not really a malaprop nor even a mondegreen, because the error was in my mental translation. I was getting comfortable enough with speaking Italian in casual conversation that I had begun to think sort of half in Italian and half in English. My Italian boyfriend said to me, when I was sitting on his lap, "Sei legere come un piume." ("Piume" sounds pretty much like the English word "puma," if you prounce that as "pyoo-muh.") I actually knew enough Italian to translate his sentence easily as "You are light as a feather." But my initial take on what he had said was "You are light as a puma." I didn't quite know how to take that remark--until I reflected on what he had actually said. Genie |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 23 Sep 02 - 11:59 PM LMAO, Mike!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Mike the Knife Date: 23 Sep 02 - 04:08 PM While living in Germany, I made the following errors: While proudly describing what I was making for dinner, I tried to tell my girlfriend's mother that I was preparing a "Gemuse Auflauf" (Vegetable Cassarole). Instead, I told her I was preparing a "Gemuse Einlauf" (Enema) Same German girlfriend: While trying to impress her & her friends (who had all worked/studied in the UK), I bought a bunch of different Cheddars, Stilton, etc. from an Irish fellow who operated a stand on the square on market days. When explaining where it all came from- instead of telling them it came from an Irishman (Irer) with a stand (Stand) on the market, it came accross that the cheese came from a crazy person (Irrer) with an erection (Stander). |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Brían Date: 23 Sep 02 - 02:37 PM Were declensions allowed? Brían |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST Date: 23 Sep 02 - 12:19 PM I once worked in a school where the headmaster constatntly reminded students "not to conjucate at the water fountain". |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 22 Sep 02 - 04:37 AM I heard a newscaster or commentator today speak of someone being "too big for his bridges."
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Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mr Red Date: 22 Sep 02 - 03:46 AM Didn't Mrs Malaprop say "child progeny"? GUEST,Brían that Tuna Caesarean, was it delivered with a knife (& fork)? |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Brían Date: 21 Sep 02 - 09:23 PM I had an Algebra teacher who was fond of giving what he referred to as "Little quizzies", until a sudent commented one day as she looked at her paper: "If this is one of your little quizzies, I'd hate to see one of your testies". A friend of mine overheard a co-worker who was ordering sandwiches for the office ask for a Tuna Caesarean sandwich. Brían |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Fifer Date: 21 Sep 02 - 12:03 PM A local politician in our area, not renowned for either the clarity of his thought, or language, stood to address his fellow councillors, and uttered the following... "It has been brung to my attention that certain allegations have been made about members of this council! You may rest assured that the alligators will be found, and made to explain themselves" |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bernard Date: 21 Sep 02 - 12:00 PM Read that through and make sure you are completely faux pas with it... |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Juanita Date: 20 Sep 02 - 04:07 PM One I hear frequently is the Spanish phrase "mano a mano" used as though it meant "man to man." It doesn't. It means "hand to hand." J |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: C-flat Date: 07 Sep 02 - 04:28 AM The same person responsible for the "vicious circus" quote was also overheard singing "I'm just a cock-eyed octopus"(optimist). Another little gem came from the wife of a friend. Her rendition of "Only the lonely" comes out as "Only Baloney". |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 06 Sep 02 - 05:50 PM Well, I once told someone in France that I was going to wash my horses. (I said "mes chevaux," instead of "mes cheveux.") ¤;-D |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST Date: 06 Sep 02 - 09:07 AM I once told a french cab driver to take me to the Big Chicken. The Grand Palais came out as Grand Pullet. A friend realized after the fact why there had been an awkward silence at a formal dinner in Paris, after the host asked if anyone was hungry, she'd said Oui, mange moi! Yes, eat me! |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST Date: 05 Sep 02 - 11:37 AM Genie,
I'm not really sure if the two Freddies are one and the same. Lansing, Michigan had 3 shops, I think. They all closed down shortly after Dunkin' Donuts came on the scene. I haven't had time to read all the posts to this thread. Has anyone mentioned the hilarious stories Grandpa Jones used to tell on Hee Haw?... |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:39 PM One I heard on the news this afternoon -- on NPR, of all places -- was a statement that such-and-such government agency didn't believe certain (potentially problematic) conditions "posed any real standards for the public." (Sorry I don't remember the details of what potential hazards they were talking about, but in context it was obvious they meant to say these things would not "pose problems" (or "threats" or "hazards"). Yeah, Bert, it would be "lawnmower" if you pronounce it right. ;-) Guest, was that THE "Freddie's Doughnuts" -- that used to operate in the Newark, NJ area? When I was in grade school in East Orange, Freddie's Doughnuts were to my friends and me what Krispy Kremes seem to be to folks nowadays. If that's the company, it's too bad they are no more. (Oh, the memories!) And, yes, your letter and syllable juxtaposition constitute "spoonerisms." (There's a thread or two in the forum on those.) Genie |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bill D Date: 04 Sep 02 - 06:07 PM so THAT's what has happened in my basement, Amos!...all those 'momentos' have collided and accrued excess mass, which has then divided exponentially and filled all the space formerly occupied by quarks!... The good news is, I can have yard sales forever...if I "coup de gras", that is... |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bert Date: 04 Sep 02 - 04:26 PM Genie, I always thought that "coup de grace" was French for Lawnmower ;-) |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Amos Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:32 PM Momentos are sub-anemic particles which endow mass, collectively, with momentum, isn't they? You get too many of them in one place the effect is to generate more of them, and you a vicious circus indeed! LOL!! These are too rich. A |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST Date: 04 Sep 02 - 02:05 PM When we were kids, my sister and I used to have fun mixing words and syllables from roadside signs and billboards. In my hometown, there was a small doughnut chain (now defunct) called "Freddie's Doughnuts." Their sign was my all-time favorite mixer-upper. We'd mix up the words, get to giggling and couldn't stop. "Deddie's Froughnuts", "Froughnies Deddnuts", and "Doughnies Freddnuts." By the way, are these what y'all are calling spoonerisms? |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bentley Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:46 PM Took a young lady (aged about 6) to the local hospital.Mum was with her of course.She said she was going to have her sisters removed.She meant cysts. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: C-flat Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:29 PM "It's a vicious circus" was one I heard recently. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mrs.Duck Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:21 PM My mother in law said recently that she thought most of the pills doctors prescribe were only 'gazebos'! |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,KingBrilliant Date: 04 Sep 02 - 06:39 AM Did I mention that, being an independent sort, my mum claims she prefers to "cuddle my own poo" (paddle my own canoe). |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:27 AM I don't know if this counts as a malapropism or just a mispronunciation, and it concerns a non-English phrase. But I hear it quite frequently (apparently from people with just enough knowledge of French pronunciation to end up with some funny mispronunciations. The phrase is "coup de grace," which should be pronounced "coo de grahss"-- meaning, of course, "blow of grace." The common mispronunciation is "coo de grah," -- which is the way a Frenchman would pronounce "coup de gras" (meaning a "blow of fat"). Genie |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bill D Date: 25 Aug 02 - 08:56 PM yup! especially the spicy kind!(umm...perhaps it needs to be on a hot dog first?)......never mind |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 25 Aug 02 - 08:49 PM A fellow this afternoon uttered one of my favorites, which I had forgotten about: he said something about not being sure he could "pass mustard." (And we all know how painful THAT can be!) Genie |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 25 Aug 02 - 12:30 AM My neighbor this evening told me that she finds lots of stuff against my back fence (mostly blown there by the wind), including "condominiums." A few minutes later she said, "Oh, wait. I meant to say 'condoms'." |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bill D Date: 24 Aug 02 - 06:09 PM ohh..one of my ...ummm...'favorites', which I heard again recently on the local Public Radio station, involves people going about wrecking havoc.
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Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 23 Aug 02 - 09:35 PM LOL, Fred! |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Fred Miller Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:45 PM Genie I'd heard of the statue of limitations but thought it represented new immigration restrictions. Same friend who says "tenants" writes "hardwear" as if he needed a suit of armor. You can buy Duck-tape, a brand of duct-tape, maybe have it at the hardwear store, fix your visor. Then there was a woman who was considering a tubal litigation, but instead her husband got spaded. ouch. I told my sister-in-law about a man I know who hates to go out, doesn't like to leave the house and she said he must be homophobic. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,petr Date: 23 Aug 02 - 08:39 PM one of my customer runs a sub sandwich shop, mentioned how he needed to re model his cafe but it would take a long time to 'recuperate' his costs. I can relate to that. one of my friends always referred to an 'optional illusion' (funny thing was I used that phrase and someone corrected me - saying you must mean optical. Ptr |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: NH Dave Date: 23 Aug 02 - 12:35 PM Richard Lederer, the English Teacher/Author/Humorist, gets good mileage out of the recitation about Rindercella and the Pransome Hince, where Rindercella slops her dripper but all comes out well in the end. Another Bluegrass acquaintance of mine sings "Crazy" with a childish lisp, so it comes out as "Cwasy". Dave |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mr Happy Date: 23 Aug 02 - 12:18 PM i sometimes see the tv prog. 'countdown' on ch.4 i'm sure some of the contestants are asking carol for 'continents' & 'bowels'! |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mr Happy Date: 22 Aug 02 - 09:11 AM fen, neither of your examples are malapropisms. the first's a spoonerism. anyone know the term for the other one- 9(i don't think it's a mondegreen) |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: fenman Date: 22 Aug 02 - 07:35 AM malapropisms.......probably one of the most public by a bbc comentator at the royal tournament going extatic over "the wonderful musical ride by the royal arse whoretillery" probably only second to the slip by another bbc comentator at a Headingly??? test match....."...and the bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"......Why do we always walk such waddle ???? |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:41 PM We used to have a talk show host here in Portland, OR, named Sheila Hamilton. I loved her show, partly because she came up almost daily with marvelous malapropisms and neologisms. Once she said that giving one's spouse some freedom to spend time with friends of the opposite sex might - "...raise the spectrum of suspicion... ." In discussing the terrorist attacks on 9-11-01, she observed that the World Trade Center "is really the hubbub of world activity ... ." In another discussion, she mentioned several kinds of interest groups and then distanced herself from each by saying such things as "...feminists, of which I'm not a group...," "...Libertarians, of which I'm not a group...," and a few other organizations "...of which I'm not a group." Then on 9/15/01, a commentator on CNN discussing World Trade Center disaster said that "the tension down there in the street was palatable. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Genie Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:11 PM Really funny, Robbyanne! Lots of people talk about having their cats and dogs "spaded." These may be the same folks who fix things with "duck tape." A very common malapropism is to say that two things "don't jive with each other." (It should be they "don't jibe.") I had a nursing supervisor once who continually said he was "flustrated" about things but there were "litigating circumstances." My mom knew a woman who, in her letters, would often complain about her "Arthur Ritus." And, Bill D., you're right about the common "momento" malapropism. Well, Ranger Steve, maybe "erotic driving" is against the "blue laws" of some states! I never cease to be amazed at the lawyers, judges, and politicians who keep referring to the "statue of limitations" on certain crimes. Then there's Marcia (sp?) Clark, of OJ trial fame, who serveral times accused either OJ or his attorneys of trying to "flaunt the law." Fred M, along the lines of "tenants of the Constitution," I often hear folks who ought to know better refer to the "pundants" [instead of "pundits"] who spout their views on TV and radio. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Hille Date: 21 Aug 02 - 07:06 PM At a casual and relaxed (or so I hoped) lunch-party for one Ambassador and several Brit Embassy staff I announced to all that there was "Crapple Umble" for afters. And recently trying to remember that local musician who plays with John Otway, the closest I could get was "Ayatolla the Stick Breaker" |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Fred Miller Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:27 AM My aunt habitually is offended by things she thinks she hears--in an Elton John song called there's a line --Feel their gentle touch--she hears as Feel their genitals. The things they say on the radio! I've heard of prostrate cancer but I thought you'd be okay if you didn't lie down. A sales manager I knew used to make double entendres so often, I can't remember them all, except the day he told Susan he wanted to use her on the floor. Susan told me she had been a Literal Arts major. I hope to someday achieve a triple entendre, maybe with a half twist. Garrison Keilor once did a bit about how men don't know the word depilatory, hair removal. A friend of mine didn't know it, but had heard of electrolysis, and with that in mind, asked his wife if she knew it. She said she thought it was that thing they do rectally, which seemed to him a drastic, rather indirect way to go about removing unwanted hair with electricity. She was thinking of suppository. We used to have to do those suppository writing assignments for English class. Another friend says tenant for tenet, as in, the basic tenants of the constitution. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mr Happy Date: 21 Aug 02 - 10:38 AM my good friend Anne was telling me about her youngest son's latest gaffe. the bits of bread she'd put out on the bird table had been disappearing rapidly over the past few days. she told me Chris had said 'mum, the pine cones have been eating all the bread!' in astonished she asked what he meant- turned out he meant 'magpies'. i lol! he asks 'well, what are pine cones?' anne says 'they're the little round things you paint silver & gold at xmas to put on the xmas tree
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Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: RangerSteve Date: 20 Jul 02 - 04:40 PM I heard on a police radio, an officer informing his headquarters that he was pulling a woman over for erotic driving. A friend's employee told him about a trip to the Vatican, where he saw the sixteenth chapel. There are also an endless number of senior citizens who have prostrate cancer. I guess that means the cancer is just lying there. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: fat B****rd Date: 20 Jul 02 - 11:54 AM Don't forget G. Dubbya's "nucular" weapons. Not to mention "Angular" television featuring "Rhinostroses" and "Sustificates" |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Ballyholme Date: 18 Jul 02 - 01:29 PM Oh, yes, and with my mother a condo becomes a "condom". |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Ebbie Date: 18 Jul 02 - 01:17 PM And 'pronounciation'! |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Bill D Date: 18 Jul 02 - 12:13 PM these are funny, but there are WAY too many people out there saying that they have saved some 'momentos'. I worry about what all this indicates about how some people hear & listen & process language. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: DMcG Date: 18 Jul 02 - 10:44 AM When we were in Wales a few years back, my wife wanted to go and see the oracle racing. (coracle) |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: Mr Happy Date: 18 Jul 02 - 10:38 AM when i was at college, a fellow student told me he'd received an 'accolloid' for his last piece of work. |
Subject: RE: BS: malapropisms From: GUEST,Ballyholme Date: 18 Jul 02 - 09:14 AM When my mother visits from Ireland she often complained of having "jet leg". It doesn't stop there - artificial fur coats become "stimulated fur". |