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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 18 Feb 04 - 04:15 AM rapaire re scars "one over my right eyebrow from when my mummy dropped me on my head when I was little." Hmmmmmm....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:59 AM Lots of people like to be left alone when they're erecting something! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:51 AM Limpit can't get anywhere near the Lego....have you seen Liz when she is in full building mode??!!! Nurse...I need more Gin in my IV!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:18 AM Limpit is cruel to you? Is she trying to steal YOUR Legos? ;-) How is your limp, btw? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Feb 04 - 12:51 AM I'm back, after a week away. I haven't read the posts, just gone straight to the end. Just hook me up to the Chardonay, I'll rest a little, read up, and send some witty ripost to the ongoing conversation. It's good to be back! SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Feb 04 - 07:00 PM You need more than mental floss Chief..... try a full bottleinfrontofme. It's a day in therapy tomorrow - Limpit and I are building Castle Aaargh in Lego. I'm sure there's a law against cruelty to parents.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Chief Chaos Date: 17 Feb 04 - 12:51 PM I should have visited the ward when I had a chance! The HMO short changed the doc on my sinus medication so they switched to a generic which spiked my blood pressure by about 45 pts. along about the same time I had a severe sinus infection (Lord knows I'd have rather been dead). So anyhoo, the doc puts me on a second med which immediately causes constipation and other side effects (let's just say the misses wasn't happy with my performance and leave it at that). By about the fifth day the body says sod this! and things progress the way they normally ought. Needless to say I'd have rather been elsewhere when the breakthrough occurred! (I Know, I know, I know....too much information!) So I'll just toast your continuing recovery and check in once in a while to see how Ya'll are doing. By the by...anybody know where I can get some Mental Floss? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:54 AM cats, are there still any original parts in you? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:22 AM I have 3 little one on my knee which will soon be accompanied by about a 12inch scar from the surgery I am having in 3 weeks. I have a 6and a half inch scar on my arm from a previous surgery..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:20 AM I've got three: one is on my right leg, where a fellow Boy Scout tried to cut it off with a corn knife (a sort of bolo or short, heavy machete) quite a few years ago, one in the middle of my tummy from when I was born, and one over my right eyebrow from when my mummy dropped me on my head when I was little. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:07 AM serious? I've got one from abdominal surgery at age 2. It grew with me. not that gruesome, but pretty wide at this point. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:48 AM Let's have a competition to see who has the longest, most gruesome. (a la *Jaws*) Scar! You bunch of preeverts. Scar! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Feb 04 - 04:56 AM MudGuard - I distinctly remember being there at the time.... and I've got the scar to prove it! Next time you're over.....? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:21 PM where is that man? i have my little black bag, my restraints... and i hear a strange laughing from across the hall.. this time I'm going to get him and modify his behaviour.... by the time I've finished he'll be barking for mercy.. Nurse Ratched |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:09 PM John, are you sure? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM Andy, I believe that Liz was involved too! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:41 PM Right you lot. The treatment room is free, so who's first for the lager enema? I have a crate of Fosters just waiting for some asshole to enjoy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:38 AM Well, I hope all our convalesants (SP) are doing well and are not too bored! Take is easy, mind the limpits and I hope Cat is not going too crazy in hosp! Be good whilst your under the doctor ;-) Regards Ella |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:18 AM Self inflicted? Manitas inflicted ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:59 AM Sorry Liz, no sympathy on the impending Limpit invasion, it is after all a self inflicted woe. John. [Coat time again methinks!] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 15 Feb 04 - 07:00 PM Argh... still suffering from plague and now... HALF TERM!! I've got a touch of the limpits coming on, I can tell.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Feb 04 - 11:15 AM Sorry, nix on the Johnny Walker. it's not real whisky. Now a nice drop of Highland Park, that's another matter. Nurse, where's the cannula? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 15 Feb 04 - 07:37 AM Once upon a time, there were three bears.. Hair bear, Can't bear, and Fore bear. Hair bear was so hairy that people found him scary. Can't bear was so intolerant that he became a radio jock ..and fore bear decided to become a professional golfer.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 15 Feb 04 - 06:37 AM Why is Giok allowed four bears? I was only allowed one and even then Liz made fun of it cos it only has one eye and that's crossed... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 15 Feb 04 - 06:19 AM there's a few Dorian Grays in here... but John G Mac.. looking in the mirror and seeing nothing.. do you have transylvanian forebears? what is your secret? and are they giving you Johnny Walker intravenously? fred |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Feb 04 - 05:50 AM The profile has been exorcised to protect the innocent denizens of Mudcat. Mummy Mummy, why can't I see my face in the mirror? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 15 Feb 04 - 12:05 AM I went in to get him but he doesn't have a photo or profile. so I looked for someone wearing a name tag Giok - with no success. I have polished the hypodermic and have plenty of bandages ready - hang on - I'm off to ward 13 - think I just saw him! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: lady penelope Date: 14 Feb 04 - 09:50 PM There'll be a charge for it, you know........... TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 14 Feb 04 - 08:38 PM Nurse, the screens, he's doing it again!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Feb 04 - 04:21 PM I don't want to sleep with the female patients. I want to stay awake with them, it's much more fun!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 14 Feb 04 - 11:24 AM I will be coming round the ward once a week. I will bring my prod, my stick and my handcuffs for those difficult patients. anyone found with a red breast or peeing brandy will be sent to my room for special attention. Nurse Ratched |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 14 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM yeuuuch......who do I have to sleep with to get out of here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 14 Feb 04 - 08:17 AM That reminds me. Will all patients please remember to flush the loos TWICE, as it has to be pumped all the way to the kitchens. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 13 Feb 04 - 06:25 PM That's why the Aussies call it XXXX - they aren't allowed to write PISS on the tin. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 13 Feb 04 - 05:40 PM I do believe it has something to do with the other internal processes, which are, on the whole, remarkably like the brewing processes for lager........... Need I say more? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:36 AM Who said we were going to waste it??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Amos Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:28 AM Wot -- an' waste perfickly good brandy? Give the Lord SOME credit for brains, after all!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:20 AM When you look at anatomical drawings and even dissected bodies, notice how convoluted the innards are ("guts" in medical language), all twisting and turning like the worm of a still. And the body produces heat. So, why is it hat we can't drink wine and pee brandy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 13 Feb 04 - 04:29 AM My Mabidogion was awaiting me when I went downstairs! It's certainly reflecting the change of location that Les has made - some truly beautiful poetry there! Plague has progressed to stage 2 where I'm hugging the radiator, wearing 2 jumpers and a fleecy jacket and still shivering. I'm also coughing like a seal now.... Unclean! Unclean!! Pass the sloe gin over, it will help me to sleep and I can throw the bottle at the cat if he starts crepuscing like a mad thing at 5.00am again. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:29 AM Low blood sugar...that means I won't ferment. Damn! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:44 AM I shall await mine with trepidation then.. I've now been moved to isolation, due to a small touch of plague. Dr's this morning and both blood pressure & temp were up, so I'm filed for reference for a few days. I hear Les had to move because the model railway had expanded throughout the house, achieved sentient life and was threatening to take over Manchester. Expect to see a rival to Ivor the Engine pretty soon! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:42 AM Just found this ode, one of the ODD JOB series by Jack Warner THE MAN WHO FANS THE FEMALES by Jack Warner Another chap was very keen to learn about first aid They taught him to roll bandages, and just how splints were made But all his bandages rolled off, his splints they splintered too, But now at last they've found a job that he can really do: He's the man who fans the females when they've fainted He's the fainting females fanner is friend Fred. And he makes such gentle breezes, Like a sparrow when it sneezes, That his fame at fanning females far has spread. Now our Fred has found he's got a female fan-mail And a fan called Freckled Fran he's made his bride He picked her for her figure Cause she's twenty stone or bigger, For to fan his fat fan Fran fills Fred with pride. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:33 AM Just as I was settling in to another day of some real hard "not working", the postman delivered Sir Les's latest book, The Mabidogion. Sir Les always sends me his books for approval, just after they come out, and I send him money. An arrangement that seems to suit us both. It seems Mr Barker has re-located to the welsh foothills (how can anything only a foot high be called a hill?) He now wishes to be known as "Two sheds" in tribute to one of his favourite politicians! Do not read this book if you have just undergone surgery, or are of a nervous disposition. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Feb 04 - 07:36 PM Dr, I know it was a scheduled theatre appearance, but are the doublet and hose really necessary? It's an eyebrowectomy, not Richard III.... just make sure the table is the right way round, or you could be removing something else! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:03 PM The bait dangles. Should I? Nah! Too easy. The doc ambles down the ward, stopping only to feed a few tid-bits to the cats (he always carries a few cat nibbles for our furry friends). Then he comes to Liz's bed. He stops again and examines her chart. Looking over the rim of his spectacles at the oxygen masked figure before him, he moves to examine the gas bottles. No. They are oxygen bottles. He thought they must be nitrous oxide, as Liz is having uncontrolable fits of laughter. He notes that she is wearing earphones. "Listening to that bugger, Les Barker, no doubt", he muses. He hurries on toward the canteen, eager to consume lunch before his scheduled theatre appearance. A rather exacting eyebrow-ectomy on Micca awaits.......and it's the anaesthetists day off! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 11 Feb 04 - 12:35 PM Dr Will, wants someone to prick his boil! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 11 Feb 04 - 11:24 AM I didn't know J9hn had got in!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Feb 04 - 11:20 AM After a considerable struggle, the large lump under the sheet relaxes, as if from blood loss. The three smaller lumps crawl out from under the covers, revealing themselves to be fat and sassy and healthy cats. They move down the center aisle, tails held high, looking for more comfortable nap spots. Someone yells "Medic! Transfusion needed in bed 13!" A gurney is rolled into the room and Nurse Mildred Ratched supervises the bandaging and straight-jacketing of the moribund figure. He may never be seen again, if he doesn't play his cards right. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 11 Feb 04 - 10:28 AM And Linda did not pull the emergency brake then? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Feb 04 - 10:16 AM It was more like the buffers (Linda's) that I felt my hand drawn towards, Andreas. SRS - The patient leaps up and grabs the cats - "Protein at last !" he cries "I've been 'Nil by Mouth' for nearly four weeks and I'm starving !". He disappears under the sheets with the felines, there is a sound of munching . . . . . . |
