BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 11 - 10:45 AM

Chongo is looking around the Chicago area for new lodgings that will reflect his rise from humble beginnings in West Africa to the pinnacle of fame in Hollywood. I've told him to get a mansion like Leo the Irish crime boss had in the movie Miller's Crossing, though that one unfortunately got burned down one night. It's Chongo's favorite movie scene of all time:

Leo responds to house invasion...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Feb 11 - 02:49 PM

Does anyone else remember William Bendix in The Blue Dahlia? Bendix's character had a plate in his head, although the way he carried on - it was more like he had an entire tea service.

Every so often he kept shouting,'I CAIN'T STAND THE MONKEY MUSIC! I CAIN'T STAND THE MONKEY MUSIC!'

God i love the cinema! best of luck Chongo!

(The script was by William Faulkener from a short story by Raymon Chandler)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 25 Feb 11 - 02:35 PM

You suitably suited-and-booted for the (C)Oscars, Chongo?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 11 - 02:14 PM

HE's a natural for the stupid scientist role


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 11:56 PM

Bill, I just bought a CD on how to yodel. The teacher (Kerry Christensen) says that Johnny Weissmuller's 'Tarzan' call:

aa aa aaa aa AAH!

is a form of yodeling.

Are you prepared to take up yodeling?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 02:14 PM

Wow. What an incredibly great idea!

I am stunned. (of course, that happens a lot...specially before the first good meal of the day...still...)

Yeah. Killer idea. I'll let Chongo know ASAP.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 01:22 PM

well, I had these dreams, see (falling into ponds and wrestling alligators).... and I suspect I'm the reincarnation of Johnny Weissmuller.
If Chongo really wants to make some big money, I'm ready.... especially since I think I can get Winona Ryder to play Jane.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 12:24 PM

Chongo used to have a union contract when he worked as a stevedore on the New York waterfront, but that was a long time ago. I'll have to check and see if he now belongs to some sort of union for gumshoes and private investigators, but my guess is, no.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 10:44 PM

Well, if he ain't in Equity he ain't gonna work! Of course, he could always be a scab.

And we know what happens to scabs, don't we?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 09:38 PM

Does ChOngo have a Union contract?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 09:29 PM

Well, there's a thought, Donuel. ;-) Maybe we should contact Bill Maher, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 08:50 PM

Little Hawk, do you really feel that way?
seriously.
I mean if you dropped the pretense of political correctness and historic distortions, would you really believe exactly what you said?


Because if you do, that would mean that




you would be 100% correct.
This would require that both you and I (Chongo is optional) should appear on the bill Maher shopw at once.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 23 Feb 11 - 10:12 AM

Trailers? But, Little Hawk, each one had a beginning, middle and end.

You'll remember what the Red King said. "Begin at the beginning, go till you come to the end. Then stop."

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 11:41 PM

I'm not sure she'd want to be pawed by a cigar-stinking, whiskey-sodden, overage chimpanzee who uses firearms as a substitute phallus.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 11:29 PM

Any word yet on who the leading lady (or ladies) is to be? Do you think Winona would be interested?

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:51 PM

You're talking about the trailers, leeneia, but that's okay. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 22 Feb 11 - 10:08 PM

Little Hawk, thanks for letting us know about Chongo's films. I've never seen any of the originals, but it makes no difference. One can't escape films.

I've mentioned before that I don't care to watch TV and movies, that they make me almost motion sick. But Chongo's films are an exception. They are the perfect length for me - less than 10 minutes.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 07:30 PM

My sole concern is for the poor street cleaners.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 04:07 PM

He'd make a big splash for sure if he did that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 03:22 PM

As for ol' Chongo, let him take the part of King Kong falling from the Empire State Building. Do the boy good to fall down without being blotto.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 02:33 PM

Ah! Now yer talkin' good sense... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 02:25 PM

What makes you think that I believe that ANY country is rationally led? This includes everyone in and out of the UN as well as the UN itself.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 12:56 PM

Border incidents between 2 countries that have never officially declared an end to their last war are not a sign of governmental insanity or lack of rationality, Rapparee... ;-) They are a very common feature of countries in such a hostile relationship as the 2 Koreas are. Such stuff happens all over the place between unfriendly neighbours.

Israel makes frequent major armed incursions and land siezures on its neighbours' territory, for example. Does this prove that Israel is not a rationally-led state???? Hardly. They have a definitely rational agenda behind what they are doing, and they have been far more aggressive in that sense than North Korea has since the mid-50s. Yet no one in the USA thinks to assess them as "irrational", "insane", etc...and I'll tell you why. Because it isn't politically convenient and it isn't in style to do so. ;-D

North Korea, on the other hand, is one of America's official boogeymen, and Iran's another, so the fashionable thing to do is depict them as "irrational", "insane", "capable of anything", despite the fact that neither one of them has done anything even vaguely comparable to the massive acts aggression committed by Israel and the USA in the last couple of decades.

So who is irrational? Nobody? Or everybody? I think that the various border incidents arising between the 2 Koreas are very predictable, typical of what happens in a situation like that between 2 hostile halves of a sundered nation, and they are usually a case of each saying to the other, "See? You better not mess with me! I'll fix you good if you do! Just watch THIS! Ha! Showed you good that time, didn't I?"

It's oneupmanship, it's fodder for propaganda on the homefront, it's a good way of keeping their domestic population focused on an outside enemy (in the case of either the North or the South), it's macho gameplaying and jockeying for various diplomatic and other advantages.

Could it get out of hand and turn into a bigger war? Sure. There's always that risk. The same risk exists constantly in the Middle East and between India and Pakistan as well. Yet the only countries we hear about that supposedly aren't rationally led are:

1. North Korea
2. Iran

And you know why? Simply because the USA doesn't like them, that's why. If you can convince your own public that another country is led by madmen...well, then your public may be persuaded in their fear of those "madmen" to let you launch a pre-emptive attack on that country...in other words, to commit the act of a madman yourself and yet feel fully justified in doing so.

It's a very convenient line of circular reasoning, isn't it? I bet Hitler thought he was fighting madmen too. I mean, hell....they didn't agree with him, did they? They MUST have been crazy! ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 12:31 PM

LH, you're not dealing with a rationally-led state there. The US had nukes on the Korean peninsula for years (although it was denied) and it did not deter the NK from attacks OR from starting the "Second Korean War" (a/k/a "The DMZ War") or anything else. Not having them there hasn't stopped the DPRK from continuing incursions into the South, nor has it prevented the hijacking of airliners, assasination attempts in South Korea and elsewhere, or much of anything else.

DPRK has a problem, in that during the 60s they sided with China "against" the Soviet Union. This was okay then, but Russia is not the Soviet Union and China is now basically a capitalist society. Unlike 1950, China won't send troops this time and Russia will ignore DPRK. In fact, if DPRK DID nuke someone Pyongyang would find nukes on their doorstep, special delivery from China, Russian, and the US. Fortunately, DPRK military IS reasonably rational....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 11:36 AM

I think they have very considerable concerns about DEfence, John. When a small country builds a few atomic weapons, they do it primarily as a deterrent, because it gains them a measure of security against invasion. It gains them absolutely NOTHING to use it offensively against anyone, merely would lead to a counterstrike that would cause their extinction, and as they are not incapable of reasoning that out, I think they know that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 09:05 AM

I'm surprised North Korea isn't on your list of big spenders, Rap. Perhaps it's because no one knows how much they spend on defense?

True, no one knows how much they spend on weaponry and espionage. The question is whether they have any concern at all about DEfense, isn't it?

John

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 20 Feb 11 - 05:21 AM

Well i'd still vote for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 11:38 PM

Well, Chongo ol' pal, I've been looking through the YouTube Tarzan and Cheetah stuff and you know what? Chimps are really pretty stupid, aren't they?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 10:27 PM

Great!!!

My 2008 campaign still owes Ikey Cubbage $1,413.74 in Raleigh, NC for the damages that Chongz did to the apartment me and Skivz rented for my failed '08 campaign for president...

You can just mail the check to me and I'll be sure that Ikey gets it...

B~

p.s. Just make it out to "cash"...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 10:25 PM

I know who you are workin' for, Rapparee, and what yer gettin' paid for spreadin' this kind of anti-primate propaganda. You are diggin' yerself a deep hole, buster. Let's hope it fits you proper, so passersby won't have to step on yer ass as they go by.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 10:10 PM

I'd much rather he was stereotypecast in a true chimpanzee role.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 09:15 PM

Yer right about that, John. Matter of fact, we got a treehouse of writers (that's like a stable of...) who are workin' on some completely original dramas for primate actors. I am gonna do a biographical film about my early life in Africa and my first encounters with White men and the stuff that happened right after that. If Ronald Reagan was still alive, I'd offer him a bit part playin' some guy who works at the coastal tradin' post or somethin' along that line. Seein' as how he ain't...too bad! ;-D Ook! Ook!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 08:55 PM

It is a shame to see Chongo typecast in stereotype human roles. He deserves better.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 08:41 PM

North Korea doesn't report it, but it must be very substantial indeed. I believe that military equipment is that country's number 1 export...their number 1 import is food, which mostly goes to the military.

Hell, I read about the possibility of social unrest in various places in the Arab world (they were named and no,I don't remember where it was) about eight weeks ago. Change in the Middle East has been long a-comin' and it's way, way overdue. Goes to show what can be done if the "rebels" are truly committed to their cause and are willing to die for it if need be.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 07:31 PM

I'm surprised North Korea isn't on your list of big spenders, Rap. Perhaps it's because no one knows how much they spend on defense?

I'm not surprised that the Saudis are way up there nor that Turkey is, but I am surprised that Greece is...I guess they are still arming against potential conflict with the Turks (who have always spent a lot on their military).

I think it's inevitable that China will become a bigger and bigger player in regards to military spending. They are the country most likely to assume the mantle of #1 superpower in the world in the 21st century. They tend to take the long view, and to prepare very carefully.

As for Canada and the UK (and Australia)...they are all second-string players in the imperial games of the Anglo-American Empire...at present the world's most aggressive large empire, and presently engaging in 2 very significant military occupations in the Middle East, while planning possible contingencies for yet a 3rd: Iran.

The current wave of social unrest all across the Arab world must be thoroughly confusing those planners right now, not to mention confusing the local Muslim despots who've been holding the lid down on their people so long.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 05:23 PM

The USA spends more money per year on military stuff than all the other countries in the world put together.

Nah. The US spends more than any other country, but the next 19 countries (in ranking: China, UK, France, Russia, Germany, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Italy, India, South Korea, Brazil, Canada, Australia, Spain, Turkey, Israel, Greece, UAE and the Netherlands) spend USD 691.7 billion compared to the US's 668.3 (in 2008 constant USD equivalents). In terms of GDP, the US spent 4.07%, compared to 8.2% for Saudi Arabia, 5.9% for Jordan, 6.6% for Chad, a whopping 20.9% for Eritrea, and 8.5% for Georgia.

What's sad about the percentage of GDP is that countries like Eritrea and Chad should be funneling the money into betterment of their people and not into arms.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 03:11 PM

The point is, Donuel, the $ySStem is an oligarchy of powerful financial interests. It can buy out both parties and control the White House and Congress. And it does. It plays the divided public off against each other by having each party focus on certain emotional trigger issues, all of which have to do with making someone angry and paranoid about someone else while everyone feels deeply patriotic to America. The public is kept hooked (and divided) by the apparent choice between these choreographed alternatives. The rich people bank the spoils. The wars go on.

It's not even possible to break that deadlock through normal electoral action, in my opinion, because of the money factor that determines...

1. who gets the publicity
2. who then gets elected
3. and what they do after they are elected (and they'd better...or they will find themselves in real danger...I kid you not)

It's actually an oligarchic dictatorship of military-industrial-corporate-banking interests (who compete with each other...yes...but they share larger common interests at the same time), masquerading as a 2 party democracy...going through the charade of show elections which don't change the basic situation...and maintaining your nation on a continual war production basis. The USA spends more money per year on military stuff than all the other countries in the world put together.

The world hasn't asked the USA to do that. Would the neighborhood ask Al Capone to get himself more firepower? I don't think so. But other criminals in smaller places will gladly trade their valuable goods to Al for some of his weapons.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 02:49 PM

Koch Bros. money spends the same as liberal money. In fact it pays much better.

Ask the 5 Republican Hollywood stars.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 02:12 PM

Maybe governor of California, but not president. For one thing, he's not a native-born gen-you-wine American.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 01:43 PM

Well I'd vote for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 01:26 PM

I could see you in Planet of the Apes, or King Kong...but beyond that...I mean you're not exactly Meryl Streep are you, Chongo?!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 12:26 PM

What the hell is yer problem, Roscoe? Whaddya think I am, Mussolini? I ain't no friggin' Republican! I am for the little guy. What I will abolish is as follows...

The IRS.

The CIA.

ALL American overseas military bases, includin' Guantanamo. And bring all the troops home.

Humans-only public washroom facilities.

About 90% of our existing atomic arsenal.

The import tax on bananas.

Campaign funding by corporations and other business entities. All campaign funding will come out of a public purse, be distributed equally to the participatin' candidates of all parties so's they all get an equal piece of the airtime, and the friggin' campaign will be shortened to 6 weeks instead of like it is now...almost endless. This will reduce our presidential election expenditures by about 98%.

And banks won't be friggin' allowed to lend out 10 times the money they really got no more. And if they do, their CEOs will be arrested and thrown in jail, and they'll be friggin' occupied by them troops I bring bach home and nationalized!

How's that fer a start, buddy? Huh? You think you're radical? You ain't seen nothin' yet, chump!

- Chongo

p.s. Go see the movie. It's gonna be great.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 11:20 AM

Already in production is Chongo Defunds Obamacare.
and The Ugly Kenyan.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 11:15 AM

Chongo signs with the Koch Bros. for a series of Primates United (PU) movies.

Among the scripts are a series of Abolitionist themes.

Chongo abolishes npr
Chongo abolishes public unions
Chongo abolishes Planned Parenthood
Cohngo abolishes heating oil assistence for the poor
Chongo abolishes minimum wage
Chongo abolishes food stamps
Chongo abolishes Social Security
Chongo abolishes medicare
Chongo abolishes Acorn (the true story)
Chongo abolishes Abolitionists (the real war of northern aggresion)
Chongo abolishes Democrat demonstrations (the art of poo)
Chongo abolishes American Muslims
Chongo abolishes Sharia law
Chongo abolishes the anti american demorat party
Chongo abolishes election commericails funded by democrat bake sales.
Chongo abolishes higher education for the poor
Chongo abolishes public education

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: olddude
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 10:55 AM

Bob ... LOL ... Priceless

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 19 Feb 11 - 09:46 AM

I only hope Chongo cops enough coin to pay for the drugs he'll need to make him forget what he went through on the casting couch.

Subject: BS: Chongo lands adventure movie part!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 11 - 11:10 PM

New Primate Films of Hollywood, California are launching a whole series of movie remakes of classic films, replacing the original human casts with chimps, monkeys, gorillas and other primates, to make up for all those "wilderness" years when chimps and other primates only got embarrassing bit parts supporting 3rd rate human hacks like Ronald Reagan and Johnny Weismuller. The first of these new blockbuster films is due out shortly, and Chongo turned out to be perfect for the leading male role in it as fedora-wearing adventurer "Indiana Chongs". Here's a short clip...just a teaser...

Terror in the Treasure Chamber!

With the money this will bring in Chongo may be leaving his grotty 3rd floor walkup soon and moving into far more palatial lodgings.