What the worst song you ever heard !!!

Subject: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 03:35 PM

I just had to ask this question, the worst song I have ever heard is 'Chicken on a raft' does anyone know who wrote this and if so WHY?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 03:47 PM

Stick to rock, chick. Chicken on a Raft may be too deep for you to understand.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: rock chick
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 03:56 PM

Not just rock, of which I do love, but all sorts of different music, but chicken on a raft, do me a favor, well as you seem to have such deep understanding of it, pray please enlighten me to who wrote this C..P

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:02 PM

"Chicken on a Raft" was written by Cyril Tawney.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:11 PM

Mmmmmm... the Great C.T.!!!!

Millions of sea shantys can't be wrong!

:-)

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:13 PM

Havn't we been down this road before?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:17 PM

What key ya gonna sing that in Kendall? I'll see if I can find some harmonies...

:-)

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:19 PM

Been there, done that. About three weeks ago.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM

"The Little Red Mill on Blueberry Hill Near the Hollywood Freeway Blues" by Spike Jones, with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jenny the T
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM

"Mama Look-a Boo-Boo" by Gawd only knows

I heard this when I was about eleven, whiling away a summer's day scrabbling with a friend through the friend's parents' closet. We came upon a stack of 45's, among which was this gem.

It's a calypso tune about an (apparently) incredibly ugly man. The tune is kind of catchy, but the lyrics were so awful that we played it about a hundred times, laughing till we nearly passed out.

I've forgotten the verses, but the chorus still lingers:

"Mama look-a Boo-Boo" they shout Their mama tell them shut up yo' mouth-- That is yo' daddy! Oh no! My daddy can't be ugly so! Shut yo' mouth--go away! Mama look-a boo-boo dey! Huh! Shut yo' mouth--go away! Mama look-a boo-boo dey!

Thirty years later, and I still haven't shaken that from my memory. Sheesh.

JtT

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:41 PM

Chicken on a raft is a song about fried egg on toast. Eurrgh.

And everyone can write a bummer at some point in their carreer - even Lennon & McCartney have penned some stinkers (desperately trying to think of one....)

My candidate for worst song..... those f**king fields of Bloody Athenry!!!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:48 PM

Dear Rock Chick:

First of all, let me apologize for my bad manners. I seem to be in a pissy mood. You have, of course, every right to not like a song.

Here's a little more information about Cyril Tawney:

Cyril Tawney joind the Royal Navey as a 16 year-old and served in a variety of craft, but mainly submarines. His role as a folk singer evolved out of his activities as a scriptwriter and performer in Naval entertainments. He came to the attention of the BBC in 1957 and soon had his own fully networked television program. It was around this time that he decided to buy himself out of the Service and become a full-time singer. Apart from his own compositions, Cyril has specialized for the most part in English folk song, mainly South-Western and Maritime, and he played an important part in establishing the Folk revival in Devon and Cornwal.

While some of the words used in "Chicken on a Raft" might seem nonsensical they are all part of the language of the Royal Navy. Cyril Tawney has written many wonderful songs that are much loved around the world especially to those who love sea music.

Richard

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:52 PM

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:55 PM

Saturday Night by the Bay City Rollers is my nomination. Horrible lyrics with a hook just barely catchy enough to get stuck in my head. As it is now! Damn it!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: radriano
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:58 PM

Rock Chick, I meant to add this to my last post. See the link below for an explanation of the terms used in "Chicken on a Raft.

Previous "Chicken on a Raft" thread

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 08:06 PM

The WORST??? You want the absolute worst? That's tough.

How about just settling for a few real stinkers, and giving up on the idea of finding the definitive worst song ever...it's as elusive as the Snark.

I nominate the one from Karate Kid, part 3..."like a knight in shining armour...from...(ummmm, hmmm, well gee)...a long time ago" Bleaugh!

"Kung Fu Fighting" Bam! Smack! Aieeee!

Then there's "Morning Train" by Sheena Easton. Guaranteed to stick in your head and drive you nuts.

That's good enough for now.

- LH

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 08:54 PM

"picture on the Wall", The original Carter Family (A.P., Maybelle and Sarah)

HTER'S A DARK AND FADED PICTURE ON THE WALL<
THAT HAS BEEN A-HANGIN' THERE FOR MANY YEAR
IT'S A PICTURE OF MY MOTHER
AND I KNOW THERE IS NO OTHER
THAT CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF MOTHER ON THE WALL

(CHORUS) (small letters indicate answer back by A.P. and Sarah))

ON THE WALL on the wall
ON THE WALL on the wall
(ALL TOGETHER)HOW I LOVE THAT DEAR OLD PICTURE ON THE WALL
TIME IS QUICKLY PASSING BY
AND I HANG MY HEAD AND C,,,U...H...R...A..I..Y (CRY)
'CAUSE I KNOW I'LL MEET MY MOTHER AFTER ALL.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 09:54 PM

A few weeks ago I went to The Adelphi Club, in Hull. I heard a student sing a song called Infinity Rose, Those were the only words to the song and he kept falling of his chair, he was very very drunk!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:15 PM

Always a winner thread topic.........

Okay........ANYTHING ever done or thought about being done by Red Sovine........"Giddy-up go Daddy...Giddy-up Go."............yeah right.....just take all of Red's bullshit and gidy it's ass up and on outta' here. What crap!

And I can't let one of these go past without mentioning Bobby Goldsboro and "Honey."........Ain't that just the sappiest piece of shit you ever heard? Makes for good parody though........
See my stiff dick, I'm so afraid
Now since you're dead I can't get laid
I needa' fuck!

Then of course there's the David Bowie thing about Major Tom the psychotic astronaut.........
Ground Control to Major Tom
You really have fucked up
........or words to that effect. It's aptly titled "Space Oddity".........now ain't that the truth? Little Hawk will be along to explain the deeper meanings of this winner and it's relationship to the Cosmos, the Tri-Lateral Commision, and a Lithuanian pants presser named Harold.........Whatever it is, YOU figure it out!

Spaw

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: guinnesschik
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:29 PM

Heh...back in the days of my misspent youth, a chick named Patty Smythe (not the rock goddess Patti Smith) did a song called "The Warrior." I will never forget the line in the song that says....get ready.....here it comes...."your eyes touch me physically."

Yuk.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:31 PM

Suzanne (Leonard Cohen)

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:39 PM

I like the tune to that! (suzanne)

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: toadfrog
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:56 PM

If that's the same "Suzanne" I'm thinking of, I had thought of that as a pretty good song, actually. "Chicken on a Raft" is not about eggs on toast, it's creamed chipped beef on toast, or shit on a shingle, in American parlance. When they served us S.O.S. in the Army, the poor K.P.'s had their work cut out for them policing up all the vomit off the floor. In my opinion, "chicken on a raft is not a good song, but hardly a contender for "worst." "Worst song" is a field so awesomely competitive as to boggle the mind!

I have heard people say that "My Way" is a strong contender for worst. Meaning, I think, "worst" among highly successful "classic" popular songs. You can make a case for that; in the sense that it takes a fine tune and then defiles it with truly yucky sentiments.

I would argue the worst song on DT is ESKIMO NELL, a rather horrible "joke" about murder and rape, claiming to be "satire." Whoever thinks that is a "satire" has led a very protected life!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:19 PM

Before I get grossly misunderstood, I must insist that I am and have been for more than fifty years a fervent admirer of Pete Seeger.

HOWSOMEVER, his song, "If I Had a Golden Thread" has got to be one of the lousiest songs going.

In almost-Biblical terms, Pete sold his birthright for a pot of message on this one.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: DougR
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:39 AM

Yes, Kendall, you're right. A year or so ago.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: BlueJay
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:16 AM

And the eyes of a Ranger are upon you,
Anywhere you go he'll always see,
If you're in Texas look behind you,
That's where the Ranger's going to be.

For uninitiated folks outside of the U.S. that is the theme song from "Walker, Texas Ranger". The show's star, Chuck Norris actually had the nerve to kind of sing it. It has to be very near the bottom of the pile, IMO.

I am frustrated, because since that show began, I've never been able to decide which is worse- the song or the show. This implies that I have actually watched the show at times. I'm afraid I must admit it. Please be kind. I have now developed a Pavlovian response to reach for the remote control whenever I hear the words: "In the eyes of a Ranger"... Thanks, BlueJay

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: mooman
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:36 AM

Mentioned many times here in the past as a strong contender and IMHO still the absolute pits...MacArthur Park.

mooman

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Cappuccino
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 05:56 AM

Oh Catspaw, not * everything * by Red Sovine...! I used to play Phantom 309 nightly in a country band, and there wasn't a dry seat in the house, so it made me a few bob (to use an English phrase). But I agree, a full album of that stuff has you reaching for the bottle, pretty damn quick. May I nominate Charlie Rich (I think) and Behind Closed Doors, which I've always thought of as the most crass male chauvinist piggery I've ever heard.

- Ian B

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Shields Folk
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 06:42 AM

Ian B, why would a country song make the auidience wet themselves?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Cappuccino
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:46 AM

'Not a dry seat in the house' is an old cabaret-artist phrase, which can signify achieving taking the audience to extreme emotion of either sorrow or joy - or indeed hysterical laughter. The interesting aspect of the country music suggested by Spaw is that all these different effects can be seen on different people in the same audience!

Taking the physical aspect of this discussion to a whole new low, I'm told that after the Beatles concerts of the mid-60s, the theatre aisles were literally awash.

-IanB

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 07:53 AM

Abba Dabba honeymoon.
Bobbys Girl
It's my party (I'll cry if I want to)
Stand by your man

The world is full of beautiful music, why do people listen to such clap trap?

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,Captain Swing
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 08:41 AM

'Don't Pass Me By' - written by Ringo on the White Album

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Grab
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 09:49 AM

I don't believe it, not a single mention of Frankie Vallie's entire back catalogue. Or the interchangeable early Beach Boys tat (you can see the conversation now: "What's this one about?" "Oh, just another one about cars and surfboards, with our nuts in trapped in a drawer." "Cool, let's do it."). And no-one's spotted "Sugar baby love" either.

Trouble is, there's always some dodgy songs you like, for no apparent reason. I'm a sucker for power ballads, so "She's like the wind" (Patrick Swayze) and "Will you" (Hazel O'Connor), for example, are songs I like but I know I shouldn't, cos they're a bit tacky.

Graham.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 09:54 AM

The Beatles wrote a song called "Run For Your Life" : Run for your life if you can, little girl. Hide your head in the sand, little girl, catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl.

Later, in one of the verses is the line:" I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to see you with another man."

We don't need songs about stalkers from the stalkers viewpoint. What were L. and M. thinking?

Another one, I don't know the title, but it has the line: don't, don't you want me, you know that I can't stand it when you say that you won't see me." and later: "you better change your mind or we will both be sorry". Sounds like he's planning a murder/suicide.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: LR Mole
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 10:24 AM

Hey! I like a lot of these! (Well, not a lot. Some.)(Well, the Beach Boys.) (And there was a time when the ability to play "Suzanne" convinced coeds you were a Sensitive, Poetical Soul, even if you were not.)BUT through solo act, lots of bands, and even crooning on the Potted Palm circuit, I have NEVER sung "Feelings".(Whoa, whoa, whoa...) Man's gotta know his limitations.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Grab
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 10:36 AM

OH, and cf. "Suzanne" to the "Bad timing" thread. Never sing this unless the whole pub is drunk and maudlin - it's a good 2am song.

Graham.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: GUEST,djh
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 11:26 AM

Anything by Metallica, or Twisted sister ect... How could Leonard Cohen and the Beatles be on this list while the real worst songs ever made are on the radio somewhere right now.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 12:03 PM

Winchester Cathedral

(It's a) Small World (oh, damn -- even thinking about it obliquely means I'll have the bloody thing in my head all day!)

Mary Black trying to sing "Men of Worth" and totally screwing up the lyrics

That stupid pseudo-Celto thing "I Will Go, I Will Go" that a pair of otherwise perfectly nice friends sing.

Sorry to be pissy; it's the heat. (No, it isn't; it's the humidity.)

Bat Goddess, going off to look for a thread where she can say something nice about someone or something

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:01 PM

Lemme think on this one... Children of the Sun was pretty bad... anything by Loverboy... Raggedy Ann by Little Jimmy Dickens...speaking of Little Jimmy, Mister hates Death in the Family... if you grew up in the South like me you are probably SICK TO DEATH of Free Bird...

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:09 PM

IT HAS TAKEN ME 13 years to get "Small world after all" out of my head! Thanks a lot Bat!!

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:31 PM

flintstones, meet the flintstones

they called him flipper, flipper, flipper

Daniel Boone was a man, a big man

rollin rollin rollin keep those dogies rollin

there Kendall, does that help?!

(ducking and running!!!!!!!!) ;-D

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:50 PM

I couldn't put MacArthur Park od Suzanne on my list of worst songs ever written. But certianly the would go on my list of worst songs SUNG, especially Shatner's version og MacArthur Park BRRRRRRRRRRR.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:59 PM

Hey Ranger Steve that's "Dont't you want me baby" by T'Human League. I too hate "Feelings" especially when sung on a stool by somebody who sings with their eyes closed.But the real gruesome one for me is that "Teddy Bear" or whatever, something to do with a convoy of CB truckers. Blecchh

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From:
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 02:05 PM

This question has been asked repeatedly of DJs and artists and one particular song that has frequently won the Amana refrigerator is...

Peter, Paul and Mary with "I Dig Rock and Roll Music"

A self-serving, cynical and ill-advised rant at the end of their waning popularity and no help at all to their talented careers.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Don Firth
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 02:16 PM

Anybody remember Lorne Greene singing a set of words to the theme from Bonanza? Never did figure the words out.

Now, if you get into renditions of songs, then there's a fertile field. I nominate William Shatner doing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:03 PM

Has everyone FAILED to mention, what I finally remembered is the worst song I think I have EVER heard...

Brand New Key

With Midnite at the Oasis coming in a close second.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 03:59 PM

I'm still opting for "Honey" but a lot of these have merit as absolutely stupid/awful/worst.

Oh yeah, you gotta' include "MacArthur Park" in any list like this........Someone left the cake out in the rain......They did? Well fuckem'.......

And what about "Whiter Shade of Pale?" I mean what is that anyway? A whiter shade of pale............yeah, right..............completely moronic.........Of course stupidity has never stopped pop hits, like, say, "Horse with No Name"......Why not give the damn thing a name?

While we're at it, let's not forget really dumb trad/folk stuff like "Banks of the Ohio." What a psychopath that asshole was..........I have to kill her because I love her?.......uh,huh...........The guy needed professional help.

Spaw

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:14 PM

It's a guest horse, Spaw. It doesn't have to have a name if it doesn't want one.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: kendall
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM

Now you are getting personal Spaw! I see Banks of the Ohio as a good example of the difference between love and obsession.
Besides, Knoxville Girl is worse.

Subject: RE: What the worst song you ever heard !!!
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Aug 01 - 04:39 PM

Who remembers Telephone Man? heeheeheehee