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BS: Christmas Tavern 2015

Mrrzy 29 Dec 15 - 10:11 PM
Janie 29 Dec 15 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 15 - 10:09 AM
frogprince 30 Dec 15 - 10:31 AM
GUEST,ATF 30 Dec 15 - 11:56 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Dec 15 - 12:19 PM
GUEST,Severn 30 Dec 15 - 01:42 PM
GUEST,Severn 30 Dec 15 - 03:16 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 15 - 10:21 PM
Sandra in Sydney 31 Dec 15 - 08:41 AM
Dave the Gnome 31 Dec 15 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 15 - 11:40 AM
MAG 31 Dec 15 - 12:18 PM
Mrrzy 31 Dec 15 - 01:57 PM
Severn 31 Dec 15 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 16 - 09:55 PM
Mrrzy 01 Jan 16 - 10:19 PM
Mrrzy 01 Jan 16 - 11:08 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 16 - 10:19 AM
GUEST,Severn 02 Jan 16 - 02:16 PM
GUEST,Severn 02 Jan 16 - 02:30 PM
Dave the Gnome 02 Jan 16 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 16 - 10:29 PM
Janie 03 Jan 16 - 11:35 AM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jan 16 - 01:04 PM
Mrrzy 03 Jan 16 - 11:07 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jan 16 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 16 - 12:34 AM
GUEST,Eliza 04 Jan 16 - 03:23 AM
Rapparee 04 Jan 16 - 11:30 AM
GUEST,Severn 04 Jan 16 - 01:23 PM
frogprince 04 Jan 16 - 01:28 PM
Megan L 04 Jan 16 - 02:06 PM
Janie 04 Jan 16 - 08:54 PM
GUEST,Mrrzy, at work 05 Jan 16 - 12:11 PM
frogprince 05 Jan 16 - 01:32 PM
Janie 05 Jan 16 - 06:12 PM
GUEST,Severn 05 Jan 16 - 06:33 PM
GUEST,Mrr 05 Jan 16 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 16 - 10:58 PM
Dave the Gnome 06 Jan 16 - 08:27 AM
Dave the Gnome 06 Jan 16 - 08:28 AM
frogprince 06 Jan 16 - 11:16 AM
Severn 06 Jan 16 - 01:26 PM
GUEST,Mrrzy, at work 06 Jan 16 - 05:57 PM
Dave the Gnome 07 Jan 16 - 02:50 AM
frogprince 07 Jan 16 - 10:09 AM
Mrrzy 07 Jan 16 - 06:42 PM
Janie 07 Jan 16 - 08:11 PM
gnu 07 Jan 16 - 09:10 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 10:11 PM

The tosspot stumbles back in and sends a goblet of something over to Donuel. Harkening to the unheard dogs barking, out again, leaving behind a pair of - wait, are these gloves made out of kittens?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Janie
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 10:29 PM

You feckin' pyromaniac of a rapier brandishing idjit! Come Old Christmas it is fine to blast the whole place to whatever kingdom may come. Cletus and all the boys will be here by then to join in. Not to mention several Shades from the Hammon's family, most of them as good with a rifle as they are with fiddle and banjo - and all of them, especially Maggie do a right good job of it. No "Breakin' Up Christmas" until then, you hear me?!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 10:09 AM

Fuses don't light. And they're not wet or anything. Gonna have another Talisker and think this out.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: frogprince
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 10:31 AM

For gawdsake don't nobody tell him that what he's got there is wire fuse for electric ignition...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,ATF
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 11:56 AM

ATF! Hands UP! Mr. Rapparee, back away from the explosives!

Three black-clad officers look around at the stunned faces staring from around the darkened room, then move behind the bar and set their arms out of view. The apparent leader speaks

"Hehehe. Fooled you, didn't we? This funky place has been on our radar for years, but it kept shifting around. We finally managed to follow that pizza delivery guy to find the door."

The two officers step from behind him and quietly pick up all of the explosive devices and remove them to the parking lot, then return to the room. One of them finally speaks

"What a mix. Who's the dizzy broad in the wheelchair dancing with? And are the Swedish massage ladies up for dancing?"

The third agent speaks

"We get a bad rap, so no one invites us to their parties. But this one, we figured we'd fit right in.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 12:19 PM

"Rap, I bet these guys will help you set off the explosives, as long as you're outside."

Acme gets a glass of single malt and wanders over to the fireplace to listen to the guy on the guitar and watch the array of dancing partners and steps taking place on the dance floor next to the jello pit. Tentacles can be seen rising from the green miasma, snapping in time to the music.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 01:42 PM

Damn right they got a bad Rap, and they caught him in the act. The policeman sitting at the bar next to the snowman waves hello to the ATF guys. Luckily, there's no charges for Rap, or seemingly for the fireworks, for that matter.....
Rap doesn't like being refused a re-fusal and having his fun spoiled, but if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. He goes outside in the snowy parking lot.....

Severn continues to go around the table taking pictures and getting autographs. He asks if he can have some bread and wine. Mary shakes her head no and warns, "Let it be!" Severn backs away.....

Somebody tells Kilroy to get his damn nose off the table.....

Severn talks awhile with Ambrose Bierce, another idol, who tells his eager listener how his "Devil's Dictionary" was a defining moment in his life.....

Severn takes his last picture and secures his last autograph on the back which reads, "Let it be!, Mary". He was very careful not to get another rise out of Jesus (even though He seemed to him to be a bit of a mama's boy) and he thanks everyone and goes out to an empty table to sort his treasures.....

Squidlets are running wild, snatching everything left unattended for tree decorations. Billy The Squid the squidlet ringleader grabs the camera as Severn sorts the autographed photos and starts running away. Severn gives chase and tackles Billy over by the fire pit and the camera flies loose and lands in the flames......

Matilda squidlet eagerly grabs the photos off the table chased by three other squidlets who want to get a close look themselves. A scuffle ensues and while grappling for a look at the photos, the four young cephalopods get tangled up with each other and the photos fly loose and also land in the flaming pit as Severn helplessly watches the shots of a lifetime go up in smoke......

The tentacles of four squidlets are all tangled up in knots, binding them all together. Mama Squid, experiencing her first Holiday Tavern, is not sure she likes them at all as she struggles to untie a godawful mess of tentacles.....

Severn goes back to the banquet room, only to find it empty, shiny and spotlessly clean, one might even say IMMACULATE! He walks away with drooping head, almost in tears.....

Suddenly, a phone rings, Severn shakes himself awake and picks it up to find Gnu on the line.
"Get your ass on down here, Lazybones! Rap and Liz and Amos and everybody's been wondering where you've been. If you hurry, you can still make it by New Year's"......

Severn throws on some clothes and trudges through the snow towards the Tavern.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 03:16 PM

Severn walks through the tavern door and brushes off the snow, still thinking about his crazy dream, when a snowman at the bar sitting next to a hatless policeman greets him by leading all at the bar in "Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow". Severn thinks, "No it can't be...." and walks over toward the fire pit to get warm.

Over by the fire pit he sees what looks like the bottom part of a Polaroid photograph, the top of which had burnt away, showing part of a uniform and part of what looked like a robe. Turning the photo scrap over he sees the inscription,

Severn,
Happy Landings,
Captain Noonan

He throws the picture into the fire and walks away, saying, "Lord, how can this be happening?" when in a puff of holy smoke appears Mother Mary, saying "LET IT BE!"
I ask her "Do you ever say anything other than 'Let It Be!'"? and she nods.
"What else DO you say?"
"Leave it alone! DON'T MESS WITH IT, BUSTER!", and a puff of sacred whatever, she vanishes.......

Acme comes up behind Severn and asks him "What's the matter?"
"Did you just see that?"
"See what?"
"Never mind. Hey, do you want to dance?"
"Sure, but you seem to be a little shaken..."
"If they start up a fast one, there'll be a lotta shakin'", and taking her hand, says "May I?"
The band starts rockin' and Severn starts dancing on paper the way he can no longer do well in real life when he can't write the script and he tries to get lost in the music and forget......


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 10:21 PM

From outside there is a roaring of rockets, a plethora of pyrotechnic, an explosion of explosives. Roamin' Roman candles toss their balls into the black velvet sky, burning holes in the fabric of space-time. And from one of those holes a Hand reaches down, scoops up the pile of bursting bombs, and is withdrawn. The night is again quiet, except for the melee going on in, over, under, through, and around the Tavern.

Not bad, he thinks. Divine intervention? That BATFE agent might have injured himself, dropping a lighted cigar into the fireworks like that. As it is he just set his clothes alight, and he stopped, dropped, and rolled right into the pond.

Slipping off his handcuffs and shucking off his shackles he heads back inside. There he wraps himself around a superb eggnog with potcheen, nutmeg sprinkled on top, of course.

Severn has reached the point where he is disrobing to the music.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 08:41 AM

the recent roaring of rockets, a plethora of pyrotechnic, an explosion of explosives here were folks greeting the New Year.

Happy 2016 to all, especially those still celebrating Christmas (how very 2015!)

sandra (40 mins into 2016)


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 09:17 AM

Hey! Says the Gnome, suddenly waking up and rolling out from under the table. If it already News year Day in Sidney, you can give us the results of the racing at Cheltenham in advance. We could make a fortune here. The snowman slowly shakes his head as the Gnome pulls himself up to the bar to order some rather expensive Polish spirit...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 11:40 AM

People are screaming at Severn. "Put it on! Put it back on!"

Then a tentacle reaches out from the jello pit and hands Sev his clothes, a series of bubbles sounding remarkably like "PUB IB UN!"

The squidlets, however, are running around the room waving a pair of men's heart-covered undershorts.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: MAG
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 12:18 PM

oh wow; how did i miss the reopening of the tavern?

if anybody starts singin' Auld Lang Syne, you better get it right.
and she launches into "Child's Christman in Wales"


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 01:57 PM

The tosspot, back in out of the weather, recalls mistily that first encounter with bombadil as a verb. And sends another goblet out, this time to Tabster, in gratitude.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Severn
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 10:31 PM

Severn only actually got as far as taking off his shirt. The burn scars from having accidentally catching fire in his kitchen a few years ago were enough to start them yelling.
"They don't mind when I go walk for excercise in the municipal swimming pool. And those undershorts aren't mine. If you look, there's several other ones hanging on the tree, along with the watches, purses and that policeman's hat. In fact the revised topography of my chest from the skin grafts is not uncomfortable at all. Just try it....."

Severn lies on his back on the couch and one of the Swedish ladies lays next him and gives it a try.
"Mmmmmmmm....Interesting.........Comfortable ..........Ni-i-i-ice texture......." says Inger.
"Let me try", says one of the other Swedes.
"Not 'til she's through", says Severn. "That might tad some time....."
Inger makes anoise like the purring of a kitten and drifts off asleep.Severn grabs his shirt and the famous "Death By Accordion" T-shirt that was sent to him by LeftyD off the floor to keep them out of the greedy tentacles of mischievous squidlets.........

The policeman pats the bald spot on top of his head and finally realizes his hat is gone. Can the long arm of a rather drunken version of the law possibly prove a match for the longer arms of a pack of wild squidlets? Plus, his hat is hung near the top of the enormous tree........
"


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 09:55 PM

Bossy neighs again, enjoying giving the squidlets rides.

Severn has collapsed from the throws of Bliss, one of the Swedish ladies, who used him to demonstrate her jui-jitsu abilities, and is snoring peacefully.

Only five more days of Christmas, thinks the man with the flagon and sword.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 10:19 PM

<> means "I ate too much," and this is when to say it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 11:08 PM

Oops, interesting disappearing act on the html. What was in the parens was "j'ai trop mangé" but it was in French quotes.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 10:19 AM

Well, the auroch is finished, teeth and toenails. MMario, bring on the roasted Great Auk and Passenger Pigeon!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 02:16 PM

No more squabbling, Mmario. AUKward, HO!......

Here's how those nasty "Put it back on!" rumors got started. I was minding my own business, dancing with the lovely Acme, throwing in what little we remembered from the Frug, the Watusi and the Hully Gully when....

SPLAT!

.....I got hit with a water filled balloon thrown by a squidlet. Now the rest of them may have been throwing regular water balloons, but not Billy The Squid, the worst rapscallion of a scurvy bunch, had added a strong dose some of the worst dime store perfume imaginable, Eau d'Amitalle or something of the like, and I got told that I smelled like a French whore house by a few that looked like they'd know.

The bandleader called a waltz,

"It's WALTZ Time! TAKE IT, WALT!...."

....and dear sweet Acme was still game, but I was even yet still gamier to the point of being out of season, so she said "Game Over!" about halfway through and left at a run.
I went into the locker room, stripped down and found an Out Of Order sign on the shower door, so I stepped back outside in only my Speedo trunks and seeing a group of squidlets, armed and ready, I asked whether their balloons were filled with plain water and when they nodded, I put my thumb to my nose, stuck out my tongue and said, "You mangy little octopi (the worst insult you can give to a squid) couldn't hit the broad side of a whale!"......

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

Severn pirouetted so that he could get a thorough soaking, ducked back in the locker room and completely toweled himself off and finding fresh dry clothing except for clean shirts, reemerged dry but bare chested back into the party.

The rest you know, and now he lies comfortably on a big couch with Inger the Swede cuddled up next to him, thinking the New Year isn't all that bad......

He didn't suffer the worst of it, though. Billy had hit someone with a sepia filled balloon, but I don't know who, as they were rendered unrecognizable.

He'd also hit DeFrosty with one, changing his color completely.
"How does it feel to be a Negro snowman?" asked Gnu.
"No problem", replied DeFrosty. "People still come and talk, even if just out of curiosity. At least, it didn't make me look like an oriental. NOBODY, but NOBODY will go anywhere near YELLOW snow. So it coulda been worse, I guess....."

The policeman has found a long ladder and is ready to attempt to retrieve hit hat way up near the top of the tree......


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 02:30 PM

Someone asked Mmario where he found the Auks.

" They were helping the lambs keep time over by some manger", he explained.

The ladder falls out from under the policeman, who was reaching for his hat, and he cries out for help, desperately hanging near the top of the Christmas Tree.

The alligator calls the Fire Department down the street and tells them, "Please com help us down at the Tavern. We have a policeman stuck in a tree."
"Don't worry", said Amos, rushing to the rescue. We should be able to handle it."
"Yes", says the alligator. "But I just had always wanted to say something like that over the phone....."


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 02:47 PM

Did someone mention Orcs?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 10:29 PM

Orcs? Not yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Janie
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 11:35 AM

The was a loud crash as an Orc, a'straited in a jacket, busted the door to the tavern down with only his left shoulder.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 01:04 PM

Uh, oh.

A rare orc-currance for the tavern.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 11:07 PM

Not all the fruits are in the orc...hard.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 11:55 PM

You remember how (if you read the book, mind you!) the Hobbits won in the end? Easily accomplished here in the Tavern. Said Orc had better just shuffle on out the door and count his lucky stars that Frodo or Samwise weren't here to Sting his butt.

Back to the story . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 12:34 AM

And, seated on the floor, the orc is balancing a ball on his nose, clapping his flippers, and going "Orc! Orc! Orc!" Finally, Eliza takes pity on the poor thing and throws it a fish.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 03:23 AM

...followed by a buttered crumpet, a mince pie and some sliced haggis... (which she just happened to have in her apron pocket)
She pulled out a ukulele and with the orc singing the descant they warbled 'Auld Lang Syne' and wished everyone a Happy New Year.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 11:30 AM

Severn has teamed with Janie and is doing a trapeze act above the tottering tree -- no net for this fearless duo! And they do it without spilling their drinks!

Wunderbar, thinks the man with the sword (which he is using to roast marshmallows over the fire). And he quietly sips his hot ruttered bum amidst the confusion and gaiety.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 01:23 PM

In through the broken door stream a perfectly coordinated flock of Orc-Kestrals, their natural enemies, grasping all orcs in their talons as guided by their talon scouts and carried out the door while all the while, singing in perfect harmony. It was like an orcle had forseen and preordained the whole thing. Seemingly, not an add-hawk thing at all. Our collective hearts with raptors thrilled....

People try to prop up the tree and put the ladder back up to try to save the policeman. The firemen finally arrive at the tree, having been delayed by a short battle in which their hoses proved more than a match for a gang of squidlets that had pelted them with water balloons on arrival. The firemen wave everyone away and attempt to take over the rescue effort. The people holding up the tree scattered as ordered and now the tree begins teetering again, to the dismay of the firemen,,,,,,,

Unlike the Falling Wallendas and the Mickey Mouse Club, aerial daredevils Severn and Janie are perfectly capable of working without a net, a soaring sight for eyes......

The floor is now quite slippery from all the water expended in the recent battle, and the dancers below are having trouble keeping on their feet.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 01:28 PM

While the regular denizens of the tavern have no real objection to the presence of a few fallen women, no one wishes to see anyone injured...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Megan L
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 02:06 PM

A wee auld wifie wie a big stick (tae walk wie) and a whip(Don't ask Gnu) stomps in the door. Aw right which tattie hied gied the Orc the buttered crumpet? Noo Magnus wis it you wit knocked on the door have telt ye tae get wee Thorfin tae dae that at least he useually leaves the hinges so we ken whaur tae pit it back.

The Orc who is totally smitten with the wonderful provider scowls at Granny Dom and is quickly reminded tae mind his manners wie a swift clout wie the stick.

She orders all the orcs back tae Orkney but has a bit of bother wie Magnus as he grabs haud o the wifie whit hid gien him the magic crumpet "Grannie kin a tak her hame wie me?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 08:54 PM

Jeez. And Old Christmas still 3 days away...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Mrrzy, at work
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 12:11 PM

When we shall all have an Epiphany...

True story: I said I was going to cook guylásleves for Epiphany, and one of my kids asked who she was. Epiphany, that is.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: frogprince
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 01:32 PM

" guylásleves "...

Obviously some kind of European dialect for "golashes"; what an odd custom!


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Janie
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 06:12 PM

Severn and Janie make one last high swing. At the apex, Severn raises his arms, tossing her upwards, and lets go. She curls into a tight ball, rotates 3 times, then extends and does a lovely swan dive into the jello pit.

All she can think about is how she must get loose of squiddie and the pit and to those two women who managed the wee orc(k)ie so expertly before Old Christmas. The sign up to apprentice with either one of them ends on Little Christmas.

Wiping jello out of her eyes, she spies the (umph) Cavalier sipping his hot buttered bum. He becomes a blur behind more plumes of jello as Severn splashes down in the jello pit in front of her.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 06:33 PM

Severn makes a splash that turns everything around him green from an overwhelming Jello sea.........


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 09:39 PM

The tosspot cackles - galoshes, indeed! and dodges the Jello wave more nimbly than ought to have been possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 10:58 PM

The gentleman with the sword -- no Roundhead he! -- continues to sip his hot drink and ruminate upon the reindeer fallen through the hole in the roof and are now clinging precariously to the tottering tree.

Oh deer, he thinks. I hope that they don't horn in on the rescue work. Antler all, that's the fire brigade's job and it would just sleigh them if they failed at it. Eight reindeer, not so tiny, who carry bootiful things at Christmas, Old and New.

He had successfully dodged the jello tsunami by jumping up and clinging to the rafters until after it passed, when he dropped softly back into his seat, drying it before he landed. Lime jello plays hell with white breeches.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 08:27 AM

It's Christmas Eve! Shouts the Gnome, coming out of the Polish spirit induced coma. Time for my baked cod piece...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 08:28 AM

...or is it a piece of baked cod?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: frogprince
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 11:16 AM

Cod piece roasting by an open fire,
Jack frost nipping at your nose....


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 01:26 PM

I know of some songs about the Cod Wars......

Dave steps up to frogprince, fish in hand, and in his best imitation of a New England accent, offers it saying, "My cod, sir.".....

Rap, If the green Jello tsunami doesn't get you, the Lime disease from the reindeer ticks might.....

The green Jello turns out to be sugar free, so Severn, who dropped like a lemming, gets to bask in the Lime Lite for awhile......


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: GUEST,Mrrzy, at work
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 05:57 PM

Epiphany! shouts the tosspot, suddenly realizing it was the 12th day of Christmas. Where have the 4 calling girls been?


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 16 - 02:50 AM

Merry Christmas Julian! :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Jan 16 - 10:09 AM

It's not JULIAN, it's JULIUS


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 16 - 06:42 PM

Knight mimic! shouts the tosspot...


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jan 16 - 08:11 PM

Old Christmas Morning has come and gone.

As the band strikes up
Breakin' Up Christmas, the fellow with sword rouses from his drunken slumber, the squid waves all 8 tentacles in the air, a squidlet squidding from the tip of each one. The Orc herder with the walking stick starts thumping her cane in time to the music and Eliza rises up and commences to buck dancing. All the denizens of the Tavern are up and moving toward the door - quite a parade! Out the door they go. Janie grabs a box of kitchen matches on the way out and tosses them to the guy with the sword as she careens down the steps in her wheelchair, deftly saving herself from toppling sideways with swashbuckling moves of her cane.

To tosspot tosses itself out the door with the greatest of ease. Sandra at this moment does not think of the long walk back to down under, caught up in the excitement and drama.

The Prince of Frogs coats himself in auroch grease to avoid going dormant in the cold outside. Some fellow in a cowboy hat and a fine resonant voice to match the fine resonance of his guitar brings up the rear, leading the stringband and trying to stay out of the way of the furiously moving arm of the fiddler.

There is a moment of quiet. A small voice from somewhere in the crowd is heard to say "It's too cold out here, let's go inside."

Even in the chaos of the stampede back into the tavern, folks manage to grab up the fireworks, arsenal, etc or whatever y'all want to call it, and the pile ends up, as if by magic, deposited on the floor of the tavern, squarely under the hole in the roof.

The guy with the sword takes a kitchen match from the box. He is pretty sloshed and if it were not for the gnome sitting on top of his hat, it likely would slide off, to be trampled among the dancers.

The swashbuckler lights a match. Squiddy grabs the youngins faster than an eye can blink and ducks for cover in the jello pit.

Time to break up Christmas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2015
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jan 16 - 09:10 PM

A round of Turkey Turd Beer for all in celebration! The doc declared today that the replacement of the catawrecks in both my eyes, left and right, were 100% successful. That's 200%!

Perhaps I can now join in on such banter as is herein without the impediment of poor sight, would that it be contributory for any matter. None the less, my gain is, perhaps, your loss, I wax, rhetorically. Or do I?

Another round KEEP!


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Mudcat time: 16 June 6:51 AM EDT

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